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 ichi-bon
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 230
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???Page 5 of 18    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18)

And really - do they think we need pictures to remember what to do with them?


Evidently they do.....because I have received them, too. It really ticked me off after having talked to a "man" for almost three months on the phone. My response to ALL of it was to treat him with the same respect he treated me.
I for one, still want to get married again because I had such an awesome marriage...I don't want to be just a FWB, or "in a relationship". I love the committment, the belonging, everyting about marriage. I don't know if I will find it again......but if not......I will always have the memory of how wonderful I know it can be.
I just don't seem to run into anyone interested in much more than "teaching a widow what she has been missing"......no deal........
or anyone that interests me.
I just keep fishing.....but I will one day catch the "fish" God put in the pond just for me!!
 strawberi50
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 231
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/10/2009 9:02:00 PM
I am also a widow and there are no old lessons to be learned ...only new ones to be experienced with a new relationship....I get the same feedback as you. It truly is amazing...I have no past regrets only bright horizons to look forward to but sometimes I think I have "cooties" or someone feels they have to help me not feel lonely and I'm not buying it...If you know what I mean. I want a relationship not a one night stand so I won't settle. Not being a prude...I just want a good man who would appreciate that fact... And...If all those that say they really want a relationship are truthful then I don't see what the problem is they're having....ok....I have seen posts of women that want the same and even talked to one at the grocery store tonight...mmm...I'll stick my head back in the sand and hope I don't get kicked in the ..............I'll leave that to your imagination....take the blinders off ...or you'll miss the race.... I don't want to be offensive, only truthful.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 236
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/25/2009 1:26:24 PM
I would get married, even at my ripe middle age. Since I cannot say that I have been there, done that, I would not have any previous marriage or marriages to possibly cloud my views of marriage.
 sunnyone47446
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 237
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History
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/25/2009 8:48:28 PM
I've the experience of being married. Don't want to go there again. I love being single and independent. I would also like to find someone to spend time with and have fun with. I think there are those that can live the rest of their lives without being married and there are those who feel they are not happy unless they are married. It pretty much depends on the individual.
Now as for Sam Eliot....hmmm....I might reconsider!
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 238
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/26/2009 8:04:05 AM
I think the beautiful women who are 50+ are a very wonderful asset. The man is getting a woman who doesn't want to bear more children, thus shackle him with all the responsibilities and expenses of raising a child to include child support and college funds.

She is still hot and sexy with smooth firm skin, toned in many cases, warm, has developed a rich sense of humor, can see right through bull crap, is deep and rich with experience like a gold mine or a buried treasure.

She is content and happy in most cases and is ready to share in a much deeper way than she was when she was a 20 something or even a 30 something. A woman these days doesn't even peak until she is in her late forties.

So, she is just discovering all the richness of her life and the fact that she isn't bound by all the foolishness of her younger counterparts. That is a heady realization and a very happy one. She isn't looking to "hook-up" with yet another dependent person, someone who is looking for a caregiver, a provider, a nurturer, a "mamma".

She's been there and done that. Now, the attention is focused on finding that Knight in Shining armor that she dreamed of prior to meeting Mr. Night at the Burger King.
 painter0070
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 240
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History
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/26/2009 9:56:49 AM
I dont want to be single.....but Im also not desperate....So if someone comes into my life and it clicks.....well then, that would be cool...
 mauget
Joined: 1/2/2009
Msg: 242
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/28/2009 10:34:22 AM
Now, exactly where are these 50+ women who are independent and don't want to get married. At our ages. if we've made it, sounds pretty good.
 santa3129
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 243
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/28/2009 12:41:28 PM
I believe it's all about being in a comfort zone and not in any hurry to leave it. It happens to both men and women who have learned to have a life without the need of constant companionship. There probably are many other reasons that would be too long to go into here but I don't think it's really a reflection on you so don't take it so personal and you'll be better off. Like minds will eventually meet but there is no need to rush into anything other than having a good time without hurting other people if possible.
 mistyblue111
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 244
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:30:46 PM
I can answer your question unequivically. Marriage is an institution for the sole benefit of men. You want a maid, housekeeper, and prostitute absolutely free. To hell with that. Good luck in your search.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 245
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 1/31/2009 5:01:27 AM
Messages 360 & 362,

Thank you so much. For the first time in my life, I'm at a stage where, to be a world of enrichment, joy and fulfillment is contained within my own skin. I don't "need" anyone else to complete me or make me happy.

I'm SO thankful that I can't bear anymore children!! I see mothers in WalMart and the grocery dragging one child by the arm, one in the cart, and one in the breadbasket, screaming, looking dowdy, haggard, pissed off and I smile and say a quiet prayer of thankfulness that mine are all grown. I'm raising a grandson right now but he is nine and we get along great. That happens sometimes.

But, this is the most wonderful time of my life. Nature has been good to many of us. We still react sexually as we did in our 30's, we don't feel the need to look like Jessica Simpson but we aren't a second choice or a "well, I bet I can do the old chick and show her a thing or two..."

We are sexy, intuitive, strong, creative creatures who have a gold mine of wealth to offer in a non-stressful, intimate way. We offer the richness of our lives for the second half, probably the BEST half of life.

If we chance to meet someone who is a perfect fit, all the better, if we don't then we're our own country, autonomous and strong.

About the guys wanting someone to take care of them?: In my last relationship I did the caring, the nurturing, the RN work for my ex who had numerous surgeries. I gave and gave and he was a huge Ahole. Then, I developed a kidney stone, lay in the ER for 16hrs in excruciating pain, had a grandaughter in daycare and needed someone to watch her. He told me from the bar that I'd better find somebody (from the ER) to watch the G'damned little B because he sure wasn't going to.

Finally I found someone and he didn't show up until the day of my surgery, stayed long enough for them to anestesthetize me then headed down to the cafeteria to eat. Wasn't there while I was in recovery, showed up for about 10 min., then went back to the bar.

Nope, don't need that!!
 santa3129
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 246
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/1/2009 3:56:55 AM
Marriage is an institution for the sole benefit of men.

Wow, that's a very bitter statement. Seems to me after living alone for 4 years that I'm a better housekeeper than my ex ever was. Now for the prostitute thing that is also a strange way of looking at making love unless you thought you were being paid for it.
Believe it or not there are men out there that look at marriage that way. It also seems to me that at least in my state the women make out better fiancially after divorce. We are living in the 21st not 19th century last time I looked and a lot has changed in a positive way for women.

Maybe it's me but I'm looking for something way different than you project and I wouldn't even be here if I felt the way you do. I'm sure you have experience to draw from but you have lumped all men into "useless slot" which is just being a bigot.

It would be like me saying that all women are worthless golddiggers and I know that's not true.
 kbodley
Joined: 11/26/2008
Msg: 248
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What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:00:06 PM
Santa3129, I think you are right on!

While I am not certain that marriage is something that I would consider again, the fact is that I don't think either men or women have any claim to the ultimate benefit!

I have know women that have made careers out of marrying well (and divorcing as a means of adding to their financial portfolios)! I have also know men that enter into marriage to obtain "trophy" wives, nursemates, and housekeepers!

I think the bottom line is that for each of us, we should make sure that if we are committing to marriage we have thought about our decision and are making it out of a desire for love and committment - not financial and/or physical benefit!

Just my opinion!
 mistyblue111
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 249
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/2/2009 9:55:45 PM
You could not be more wrong my friend. I was married for 26 years to the most wonderful man I could ever ask for. He was my soul mate and I miss him terribly. He passed on 10 years ago and I have been alone ever since. That is the way I intend to keep it, not out of bitterness at all but out of true love, knowing I had the best and great luck like that only comes alon g once in a lifetime. But I have watched many friends put up with bad marriages.

You say that in this day and age everything has changed and I do not agree. The only thing I agree on that is a major change is that both partners need to work full time jobs to be secure financially. But believe me it is still a man's world.

As for sex, well sex with my husband was the most loving and fulfilling act and not at all like postitution. So you see I am not speaking from my own experience but have met so many men since my husband's death that would be more than willing to fill his shoes in that department. No thanks. Sex for me is only good if a strong emotion such as love is attached.

Sorry my first statement was so harsh we all have our off days. I apologise if I hurt anyones feelings.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 250
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:02:17 AM
mistyblue:

I'm sorry for your loss. Marriage isn't for everyone. When you are younger your biological clock keeps you awake at night reminding you that soon the window of opportunity to experience being a mother will end.

To those of us who no longer feel the urge to breed, marriage is not an issue. We marry for completely different reasons, not the least of which is compatibility and respect.

I personally find it impossible to get the "hots" for a man with no principles, no morals and a weak character. I HAVE to respect him and then if he turns to putty when showered with my love and affection and attention, then all the better.

Again, though, I understand where you're coming from as I also lost someone.
 santa3129
Joined: 10/13/2008
Msg: 251
mistyblue111
Posted: 2/3/2009 11:25:06 AM
Yes, we all have bad days and I do understand much better now about your feelings. It's unfortunate that all marriages are not perfect and people get hurt. I too am not without pain but living without risking yourself to pain is not really living to me. Pain is something none of us have a choise of avoiding in this life. I hope someday you can replace just some of it with the pleasures of life. It's not easy but it is possible. I wish you all the best life has to offer in your future.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 252
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/4/2009 3:24:44 AM

Gee can you talk to my boyfriend. He is 64 and I am 57


How's that working out for you? I just don't know.....now, I'm going to get shot down and tarred and feathered here, but as I've been on this forum for a few months now, I've found that the more chronologically challenged the men get, the less flexible, the more stuck in an era, the more they are just looking for someone to "hunker down" with and all that scares the Hell out of me.
 Palerider0625
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 254
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/4/2009 1:12:00 PM
I think any man that you ccose to be with, would truely be blessed....
 latendresse
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 256
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 2/5/2009 2:32:17 PM
... that's because you can't live with them and you can't live without them! So then, why not make the best of both worlds and live separatly yet be together often?

Just relax and have a !!!!
 Iredurbio2
Joined: 4/18/2013
Msg: 257
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History
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/11/2017 3:58:54 PM
Fast forward 9 years and you find every 18 t0 35 year old man going after all the
50+ women.Why in the world would they need any 50 + year old man.
They don't run they simply turn their backs.
 from site to sight
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 258
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/12/2017 1:51:12 PM

Fast forward 9 years and you find every 18 t0 35 year old man going after all the
50+ women.Why in the world would they need any 50 + year old man.


I don't know what kind of neighborhood you lived in, but I never had any interest in pursuing a woman who would be old enough to be my mother, or close to it. The same with friends and acquaintances back then-we were all after girls around our age. Chances are a woman in her 50's would have kids in their teens and 20's. I would've been more interested in a daughter that would be around the same age as me, than the mother. And what would a woman in her 50's have in common with someone half of her age or younger? How long would an older woman think it would last with a boy toy before he starts going after girls his own age or younger?
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 259
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2017 6:50:47 AM
this past year, a man older than me mentioned how a benefit of getting older was, the range of beautiful women increased. in other words, as a younger man, older women were just someone's mom. Probably helping things is, older women tend to dress like moms or businesswomen, not as 18 yr olds showing off bellies and their cleavage falling out. Still, a fellow who hasn't gotten much sex in his life, finds that any willing partner looks sexy. he may be under the notion that an older woman is desperate, or feeling free with menopause, or some other such myth.

what do older people have in common with younger partners? sometimes its the maturity level. sometimes the older person wants to be exposed to new things and recent pop culture, they aren't stuck in their past (or maybe they're bored with it). I knew a few olders who went younger, and said it made them act and feel younger--no more whining about old age ailments, that only flies with their peers.
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 260
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2017 8:11:42 AM
I always had a thing for older women growing up. While my other male classmates were obsessing over the girls in the class, I was fixated on the teachers.

One of my math teachers looked like a prime Farrah Fawcett. I spent many days in her class drifting off into la-la land, fantasizing about a wild and steamy one on one after-school tutoring session. I remember my grades started slipping in her class at one point, and my mother wanted an explanation why. She had to settle for "I don't know" because she wouldn't have been able to handle the truth.
 PlutoLover68
Joined: 7/28/2016
Msg: 261
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2017 8:47:28 AM
s to s... trust me, there are PLENTY of younger men that like older women. Its not about what neighborhood you are in. My OKC profile, gets probably 4 hits from younger men (20-30 year olds) for every 1 that is from a 40-55 year old. I'm sure it would happen on POF if they didn't have the age restrictions in place.
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 262
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2017 8:57:10 AM
"there are PLENTY of younger men that like older women "



...and plenty of older women quite content to be used as a cum dumpster by much younger men


But, for some reason , you only hear the expression " dirty old MAN "
 ThePigOfYourDreams
Joined: 6/30/2017
Msg: 263
What is it with 50+ women and wanting to stay single???
Posted: 12/13/2017 11:39:39 AM

s to s... trust me, there are PLENTY of younger men that like older women.


I don't think anyone in their right mind would ever dispute that, but the question is, how many of those younger men are looking to be in long-term relationships with those women? Next to none. They are looking for sex with someone who they think will be the quickest to drop the panties, which they believe will be the flattered older woman.
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