Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > percentage lying about age      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ideoform
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 26
view profile
History
percentage lying about agePage 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
I have been taking notes..... hmm, the percentage is---well, 2 out of 3.

This causes another problem, in that the one-third that don't lie about their age are all going to be assumed to be older than they really are...by anyone who keeps notes like mine. :)

To me this just means that the profiles are only a guideline for getting to know someone, not their resume.

I think that meeting in "real life" is similar. Some people look older than they really are, and some younger. And for different reasons. Some have lived hard, played hard and have had really interesting lives (and a lot of sun.) And others might just have smoked or drank heavily for many years (even if they have quit it ages you.) Most people aren't sharing with the entire public details of who they are until it somehow comes up in casual conversation. For instance, how often would it be important to say one's calendar age when meeting for the first time at a grocery store?

There are some things that are harder to fake, like being able to spell. (I think the reason is that the one's who can't/won't correct spelling don't see it as a problem, and so don't bother.)

So there is your calendar age, based on your birth certificate. Then there's your health age, based on how many cells you have tortured and killed during your risk-taking days.... Then emotional age, based on how much baggage you carry. And then there is maturity...and that is a whole 'nother story.

Let's see, by my rating scale, I am 49 years since my birth certificate was signed. And I think I am about 45 in health, since I have never smoked and didn't drink a drop of alcohol for 20 years after I could have legally, was a vegetarian for 15 years, and did a lot of sports for many years. As for baggage, I have some, I keep sorting through it regularly, and I know what to do when it gets too heavy, so I might be 51 in that area. As for maturity, I am about 25. Really. So what does that make me?

Anyway, I think that the age thing is important, because the process of aging accelerates as you get older. For instance, the difference in lifestyle and health between a 20-year-old and a 30-year-old is not as much as between a 50-year-old and a 60-year-old, particularly with men, since their lifespan tends to be shorter, (and they tend to "forget" to go to medical checkups.)

Also, there is a huge change in compatibility, when it comes to two persons dating in high school, compared with a high schooler dating a college-age person, and similarly, between a person still raising children and someone who's children have all left home, or who has never had children.

For someone who lies about their children's ages, there is a very big difference in lifestyle raising very young grade school children, and high school age children.

I think the main problem with dating sites is that no one wants to be PRE-JUDGED on their age. If the computer is sorting things out for us, (a seemingly simple task, but it is a way to speed things up)....then we are the ones who miss out on all those little (and big) details that qualify any concrete information about someone. If Brad Pitt wanted to date me when he was single, who am I to say he is too young?? Or for that matter, if Harrison Ford was to call my younger sister, who's to tell her he is too old??

So, Hugh Laurie, if you are reading this, please stop by my profile, since we are the same age. And Tony Shalhoub, you are a perfect age for me.
 Applette
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 27
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/1/2008 1:37:08 PM
Well I post my age and then everyone asks me are u really that old ......... so u can get it both ways. But I believe men tend to lie about their ages as much as women do .. maybe even more so because when I do search for someone who might interest me .. I look at their pictures and I say to myself ......... " that guy has had a really hard life .. he looks so old and he is younger then me!"
 MENOFFPAUSE
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 28
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/5/2008 1:46:33 AM
Actually gentlemen should never ask a womans age anyway. Imagine if you were in a pup and the first thing you asked was how old a woman was . Dont think you would get very far. Age isn't a terminal illness nor is lying. I got asked out in Miter 10 today. I dont recall him asking how old I was or me him.
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 29
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/5/2008 3:09:03 AM
No offense, but
My friends said he looked to old for me
does that even matter? It seems to me it's the person, not the friends' opinion that should come first.

Annudder
 Bewildered100
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 30
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/5/2008 5:47:14 AM
Okay, I'm fessin' up...

I'm actually 59 and really fat. I don't even know who's pics I used on my profile, I found them in a yard sale box at my trailer park.

There, I feel a lot better!
 Bewildered100
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 31
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/5/2008 5:49:31 AM
NOW, I'm part of the majority.

YAY ME!!!!!!
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 32
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/5/2008 6:21:07 AM
It's hard to say. But I can tell you that refusing emails from men younger than 41, when you are 5 years short of 40, is likely to make men who want to contact you change their age on their profile, just in order to ensure they get a chance.

I am 100% sure that if you met 100 men who you THOUGHT were all 30, that you'd find lots of men who you thought were attractive, intelligent, capable and well worth a relationship, who were 40+, and lots of men who were out of shape, unattractive, immature, not that great at most things, and not worth your time, who were between 18 and 30, and lots of men of both types between 30 and 40.

Because we now have an ageing population, there are more men over 65 than under 16. So there are probably far more men over 40, than under. Plus, thanks to advances in healthcare, there are lots of men who are in shape and physically active, well past 70.

Do you really meet that many men who you want for a relationship and who want you for a relationship, under 40, that you can afford to ignore well over half the population?

If so, good luck to so. But then I question why you would even need to be on a dating site in the first place, when you would meet so many men IRL. Even more, with so many men, I would question why you are single in the first place.
 Amma63
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 33
percentage lying about age
Posted: 9/11/2008 11:10:43 PM
I don't understand why anyone would intentionally misrepresent themselves on here.

No - I'm not being 'blonde' or 'naive'........I know it happens all the time, I'm just saying that I don't 'understand' it.

I've said it in other posts...............if a body is going to lie about the little things, you know darn well they are going to lie about other things

Starting out with a falsehood is no way to start out at all
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 34
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/14/2008 1:51:55 PM
Yes I run into this alot with guys over 50. They always pretend to be some young stud! I'd say about 50% of them I have caught lying. They always say they put the wrong year and couldn't change it. Now come on how do u not know the year u were born? It is just an out right lie! They lie cause they want a chance at goin out with someone younger but they could never keep up with me! lol
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 35
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/14/2008 8:46:45 PM
Just over 85% of the women I either recognize or have met on dating sites lie about their age. One quite obese woman of 50 (whose profile says she is 41) I know well was once a Parisian model sporting sixpack abs and she shows one of her professional photos in her profile. Today she is literally unrecognizable from that photo. Why do they do it?
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 36
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/15/2008 3:15:26 PM

Some men might date a woman who lied about her profession or her smoking habits if she is really attractive.

While generalizations should not be made, everyone has some standard beyond which the other person is not acceptable. Age does not bother me. Weight, within parameters (say 20 pounds) would not be viewed as a lie to me. However, smoking bothers the heck out of me. You either do or don't. I would not consider a woman who listed herself as even a "occasional smoker" as attractive, its that much of a prejudice. If I saw a pack in a Woman's purse, it would terminate the date. Others on here appear to worry about age and might dump someone who didn't have their age accurate to the year, changing on their birthday.


if a body is going to lie about the little things, you know darn well they are going to lie about other things

Actually, no I don't know this. I know many people, otherwise "honest" who have one or two areas where they do not accept who they are and "cover" for it. Many would feel hurt that you even implied they were dishonest. As a part of my work, I interview people. Almost everyone remembers something, or fails to remember something for which I have documented evidence. People continually recreate their self image and while that self image may vary from "facts," I would be hard put to accuse them of lying.
 xeot
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 37
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:31:25 PM
something just occurred to me... I always use a false birth date online... I'll usually make myself anywhere from 2 to 10 DAYS younger than actually am, so technically I am lying about my age ;)
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 38
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/16/2008 6:49:12 AM
Why do it?

Well, perhaps you should ask those who have had their identity stolen because of online information. With your birthdate and last name and state of residence (not to mention city) I can get your telephone number and if I pay for certain sites (about $100/year) I can get your social security number. In a recent study, a computer scientist was given 10 peoples names, age, email address and where they went to college. Within 24 hours he gained access to 6 of their online bank accounts. It is not difficult. Every accurate piece of information makes you vulnerable to identity theft. My boss just had his credit destroyed and spent two weeks filling out papers to recover. I think I would prefer limited falsehood. it increases your protection. It is pretty easy to find me on multiple sites--professional, social, etc. on the internet. If my information corresponds 100% with real life, I'm a sitting duck for identity theft. For that reason I have to monitor my accounts scrupulously and I get notified whenever anyone attempts to access any of my accounts. That prompts an immediate change of password. And the answer to my security questions has nothing to do with reality.
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 39
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/19/2008 1:58:20 PM
i am amazed by how many people lie about their ages
pretty pathetic. i never really even thought much of that until i read this.

my ex told me that he lived alone in england before we got married in
the states. the truth was that he was living witha married woman in england.
and i found that out through my own detective work by getting it out
of two of his friends in england who are married and finally told me the truth.

people make up their own versions of lies to get what they want.
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 40
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/21/2008 4:12:45 PM

So you could lie about your birthdate by a few days if that is your worry.

...
Every man I have met that lied did not bring up the truth until I was right infront of their face and the truth was apparent.


In fact that is what I do. My response was in answer to a question to a man who said he did precisely that. He was asked why. I gave my reason and I think the reason of many familiar with dangers of online information.

There are multiple issues involved in this thread. Ultimately I think if one wanted to be lawyerly about it, few profiles--since they are advertising--could avoid a legal charge of "misrepresentation," especially since what is represented often ultimately lies in the eyes of the beholder.

Yes there are those who vastly misrepresent themselves. And those looking for what they represent themselves to be will be disappointed when they don't find it. That is life. Move on to find someone who shares their own values and they won't feel the misrepresentation. If dating is about finding the one, then we waste our time complaining about those we hope are the one, but turn out not to be for any one of a number of reasons. If you arrive at a date only to discover that the date isn't what you wanted, it could be they misrepresented themselves, that you were looking for something easily scammed and got hooked by a scam, or that your picker changed or was off kilter. You've already wasted time on the date, why waste more complaining about it?
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 41
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/30/2008 4:10:13 AM
the last 4 dates I've had 4 out of 4 women lied about their age.
In the first 10 minutes they tell you they lied and that if they put their true age men wouldn't messege or answer them.
3 out 4 reduced their age by 5 yrs..1 by 10 years. They all loked fine and never needed to lie.
There is a phenomenom on dating sites about age..I've seen many who are 50 for 2 yrs now..and 48 on other dating sites. Guess they are counting on the first view factor.
Some say POF won't let them change their age..not true..
I tried this once..put 48 as an age for one week and got 3x as many responses than my true age of 56. The ages of the respondees? majority were over 50 women.
Lying about your age is so unecessary unless you convinced yourself that you look and act younger..lol oh and that.."everyone says I look younger" garbage...you are what you are..get over it..
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 42
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 10/30/2008 5:09:53 PM
My age on my profile is accurate and its what I tell people. If anything my looks are deceiving but all my photos are from this year. I do look and act younger. However I dont want to be out of the league for my age group. Honesty is the best policy.

And besides who really cares anyway? What are you going to to, start carding your dates? or just enjoy people for the person, not the number, they are?
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 43
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/15/2009 4:18:00 AM

What percentage of over 40 men on here do you think lie about themselves being younger on their profile?

I have no idea what the statistics are ~ but "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY TOO MANY" seems like a reasonable answer.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 44
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:47:56 PM
When you meet someone who's clearly lied about their age,
they look Soooooo pathetic... you can't not feel sorry for them,
but who wants to date someone you feel sorry for?
 Lobo_Corazon
Joined: 2/6/2009
Msg: 45
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/19/2009 11:17:15 AM
If they have lied about their age, but have accurate pictures up, I'd guess they did so to get around email filters (ex. "only accepts email from people aged 23-30"). Sure it's likely to come up eventually, but I gather not all guys have long-term relationship prospects formost in their minds, right?

If they completely misrepresent themselves as someone they aren't, and it's obvious on first meeting... Maybe they hope once they get their foot in the door they can enthrall someone with their personality so much that when they do finally meet all will be forgiven. Good luck with that!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 46
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/19/2009 1:11:21 PM
lying would be the killer, not the age

i prefer people to tell me i look young for my age rather than having to try to fool people into thinking i'm a young 'un

eeets craaaayzeee i tellz ya

 stratocat1
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 47
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/19/2009 1:25:25 PM
I had a woman contact me on another site. Her stated age was 57 but her profile read:
"I am somewhat over 57 but I believe most men are looking for women who are 50 or younger--want to be honest before I start a relationship"
That's honesty ??
What does this even mean? She's over 60 and meant men are looking for women 60 or younger??
This age deception kept me from contacting her.

SC
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 48
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/19/2009 1:34:33 PM
At the very tail end of a trial membership on another highly touted internet dating site (you would all know it) I received an email from a woman representing herself to be 58 in her profile. We had gone through all the questions and answers (now you do know it). Anyway, I had not gotten around to responding to her first email so she sends me another and in it she fesses up to really being 63. I wrote her back and told her I was glad we never met because she had misrepresented a material fact about herself, a fraudulent act. That makes 5 out of 6 on that site alone. What a batting average! That is why I consider internet dating a total waste of time although I still dabble in it now and then.
 Cogie36
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 49
view profile
History
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/19/2009 2:15:08 PM
My question is why would you lie about a picture or your age if you actually plan on meeting someone.......I mean if you plan to just email or talk on the phone then really who cares because nothing will come of that anyhow......but everyone talks about how they hate liars n such and as soon as you meet BAM.....you become one and unless you are prince or princess charming or easy and willing to put out right away to plead your case my bets are that will be your first and last meeting......would be with me anyhow....
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 50
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/19/2009 6:14:53 PM
I don't look at that many profiles of women, but from reading forum posts, men seem to think that mainly woman lie about age (and weight): not true!

Men lie about their ages but unfortunately, for them, they can't seem to remember that they have lied. I had a date with a man whose profile said he was 50, but he looked much older in his pic. Eh, bad pic, I thought. When we met, he let it slip that his wife died when he was 40 and in the 18 years since her death, he had no serious relationships. I teach English, but even I can add 40+18.

And it happened again just today. A man who had emailed me off and on for some time suddenly "disappeared." He has a new profile and his age went from 67 to 70 . . . hmm . . . then for over a year, he was three years younger. At least he finally 'fessed up.

I keep thinking that quite a few 56 year old men look a LOT older than me, but then I realized--it is because some (many?) of them are NOT 56: they are over 60.

Shame, shame.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > percentage lying about age