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 Jace B
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 152
Funny pick up linesPage 7 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
"I'm your uncle Jon. Your daddy told me to give you a ride home."
 redneck176
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 153
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 7:52:55 AM
You ever seen a grown man naked?
 JoeJunkie
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 154
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 9:21:11 AM
I once had a guy offer to cook me breakfast if I went home with him.

I told him I like my eggs unfertilized thanks.
 Dayman1981
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 155
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 5:46:19 PM
Did you spill windex on your pants? Because I can sure see myself in them.

Waka Waka
 VVendy
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 156
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:54:36 PM
Mae West still is the best

"Take your time it'll last longer"
 oceanskys
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 157
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:05:36 AM
Laugh my ass off...very funny....
 oceanskys
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 158
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/21/2009 2:31:56 AM
i`m not fred flintstone, but i can sure make ya bedrock
Love it..never heard it


This allows you to quote a previous post.


sorry, trying the quote thing like the other guy, he got it I will see if i just did
 pscoby
Joined: 4/19/2009
Msg: 159
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/22/2009 5:48:03 PM
Walk up to the gal (or guy) and say, "Someone who is as attractive as you, must have heard every cheap pick up line there is, right?" When they say "Yes" respond with "Well then one more wont hurt will it?"

 cavepete
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 160
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/22/2009 8:17:25 PM
ur zipper is open
 tdluva
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 161
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:20:03 AM
When I used to be a woman this one always worked on me:
At a romantic dinner, just before both have finished their meals, the man asks politely, "Are you going to finish that?"
To which I, pretending to be slightly confused but waiting with eager anticipation for the punchline/pick-up, reply, "Finish what?"
Whereupon the man proceeds to stand, unzip his pants, and let his man-junk hit the table.

Works everytime, boys, if-and only if-you approach women at a TABLE, and not the taller bars.

You dimwits should really read the entire thread before you repeat trite cliches, repeatedly, over and over and over again, and again, and make smiley faces like you're funny, again and, repeatedly, again.

My favorite is still, "I like your boots, wanna Fushce" They must not be wearing boots.
I have two or three children due to the success of this cum-om. Circa 1970's.

I will never post naughty shi it again if I don't get some props on this.
 tdluva
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 162
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:53:30 AM
I'm going to drive this right the f. strate into the ground.
In a crowded bar full of hot men/women shout something obscene.
??
Thought you'd never ask.
Such as, "Bleached rabbit fur causes venereal mold!!"
Whereupon, after the OMG, my mouth was made for penis penetration stare, you reply,
(this is called the pin-drop moment, and boys if expect to get laid from comedy, you'd better be damn goood!! Especially you ugly ones. Balls of steel don't hurt.)
With all eyes on you, confidently state: "I see what all y'all beeches ben doin'!! .....It's True! Rabbits. Mold. Guilty as charged." Wouldn't hurt to make that Clint Eastwood toy handgun like in Gran Torino, and point at the sluttiest ones.
You won't leave the bar w/o a b-j in the bathroom. But this is how to work a crowd and not a specific cum-on line.

This is called mis-direction. Often called shock-jocking. It is the same f cking joke as: "huh, don't like pizza, ar har aug har de arg har."

If 3 yrs from now your pissing your pants in your cubicle...
YW
 Call me Ginny
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 163
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 8:06:36 AM

At a romantic dinner, just before both have finished their meals, the man asks politely, "Are you going to finish that?"
To which I, pretending to be slightly confused but waiting with eager anticipation for the punchline/pick-up, reply, "Finish what?"
Whereupon the man proceeds to stand, unzip his pants, and let his man-junk hit the table.


Best Response to this one:

Oh look at that! It's kinda like a penis,.......................only smaller.


 tdluva
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 164
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:35:32 AM
That's Scary, did you see that in a Movie?
 Call me Ginny
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 165
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/23/2009 10:58:34 AM
No, actually, it was recounted to me as a true story.

Of course, I wasn't there, so I don't know.

She may have exaggerated a little...........


I haven't experienced may really awful ones, most guys I've met have been gentlemen, but I will tell you about one that really got my attention, though.

His POF profile title was "Looking for Beautiful."

He has no photo and neither do I, but his message was:

"Hey whats going on beautiful"

Sweet, huh?
 tdluva
Joined: 8/29/2006
Msg: 166
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/25/2009 5:38:43 PM
Bet your penis is bigger than mine!!
 Nay34
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 167
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/27/2009 6:19:40 AM
So a group of friends and I went out a few weeks ago. My buddy had just turned 21. He was out to get a date!! The worst line ever!

"Do you know how much a Polar Bear ways?? Enough to break the ice!

I just about died laughing!!
She had no clue what he was saying!
 siryaksalot
Joined: 6/6/2007
Msg: 168
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/27/2009 8:28:53 AM
I just sav'm, don't use them

wow nice jeans, did you have any trouble getting into them ? will I?

do you have any Irish in you? would you like a little?

and my all time favorite un-used, not tested
nice shoes, wanna fu*k?
 $hane $hort
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 169
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:48:39 PM
I'm new and not sure if I'm doing this right, so i'm not going to put to many good ones yet, but heres a few and if it works I'll do more...

I have a job for you, but it blows.

Wow, are those real!

You'll do.

I'll give you a nickel if you tickle my pickle.

You're so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.
 tam tam d
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 170
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/28/2009 1:27:41 AM
thats a good one!
 $hane $hort
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 171
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/28/2009 12:34:49 PM
I guess I did it right, anyway heres another...

What time do you get off? [insert time here] Can I watch?
 Rick0691
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 172
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/28/2009 4:57:49 PM
Honey do you own a chicken farm because you sure know how to raise a****!
 Rick0691
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 173
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 4/28/2009 5:14:44 PM
Hey honey , do you have a chicken farm because you sure know how to raise a co#k !
 SiouxBee
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 174
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:29:14 PM
[If you get blown off when you ask someone to dance, you might say, I'm sorry I guess with the music being so loud, you misunderstood, I did'nt ask you to dance, I said you look fat in those pants.]

Very Good!!
 SiouxBee
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 175
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 5/3/2009 4:37:08 PM
[/Are your pants made of Windex? Cause, baby, I can see myself in them."

"Did you know the word of the day is "legs"? Why don't you and I go back to my place and spread the word?"

"I hope you know CPR, baby, cause when you walked into the room, my heart stopped beating."]

These are good!
 $hane $hort
Joined: 4/20/2009
Msg: 176
Funny pick up lines
Posted: 5/3/2009 5:42:48 PM
Well spread my but cheaks and call me a prison b***h, because you got to be th prettiest thng I've seen in this joint.
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