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 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 183
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarismPage 13 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
And because I feel I was attacked on here and like I said, I know what my ex is like. My almost 18 year old son had a talk with the ex today. Apparently the latest meds aren't working either. He was ready to kill himself this week. He has been married to his current wife since April. As I don't speak to him at all, yeah, I'd have to say that he has some real problems mentally/chemically and I really don't know at 60 they will ever be resolved.


I don't believe that anyone has attacked you, ammazzed....what I personally have been trying to say, is that your ex doesn't fit the "bipolar" diagnosis. From your posts, my personal guess would be Borderline Personality Disorder. Even if your ex has been diagnosed "bipolar", I think he's been misdiagnosed. Being both BP, and BPD myself, taking what you said in your last post....suicidal, and "latest meds aren't working" says BPD not bipolar.

Bipolar individuals get a bad rap by being "lumped" together with BPD individuals. BPD is a more "serious" disorder, in that it deals with the personality, not moods.

Both BP, and BPD.....from the outside, may look the same. On the inside, they are totally different.

I'm not disqualifying bipolar as being a walk in the park....far from it. However, there are a multitude of bipolar people who accept, and take responsibility for their disorder.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 186
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/30/2009 4:52:17 PM
ammazzed....

Yes, the first poster was rude to you.

I looked up kindling. I believe that it happens....alot.

I actually read the article that you quoted from. Without prejudice, the article appeared to be about getting diagnosed early, before "kindling" made the bipolar disorder harder to manage. A more severe degree of disorder is always going to be more difficult to manage, that goes without saying.

I also realize that not everyone can get benefit from one drug, or one method of treatment.

Drugs, and treatment methods are only part of the equation...they can only do so much. The bipolar individual has to want to get better (truly), or all the medication, and therapy in the world won't "do it" for them.
 kewlhand75
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 187
Re: Kindling
Posted: 9/15/2009 9:52:46 PM
Im interested in learning about this kindling ammazzed.. I went manic back in 2007 and havent had another episode since. Ive reduced stressful triggers and though im not against drug treatment, ive been managing fine without any drug intervention. I can see if i cant handle triggers such as stress than im at a greater potential of being manic again. One doctor ive been following is Dr. Jay Carter and certain things such as getting enough sleep and taking an essential amount of fatty acids are recommended. Personally i think if you manage these triggers that things dont necessarily get worse... Kindling has to be lit before it can burn. My look at it is to control the flame before it can get bigger.

Someone mentioned other than you ammazed bipolar doesnt include delusional thoughts... There are a few different bipolar, bipolar I, II and cyclothemia(i think) . i believe the bipolar I level is mania with levels of psychosis which may include Delusions and Hallucinations. I had some Delusions which i remember clearly of having but didnt hallucinate..(hear voices or see things)

if anyone wants to watch an informative video about bipolar check this out : http://www.bipolarlight.com/index2.html
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 188
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/15/2009 10:08:23 PM
The only thing I know about it is a friend of mine has it. She's very well adjusted though and admits it is solely due to her medications.

She had to go through a few different meds before the doctors found one that would work on her. Before she told me about that I saw her as moody at times, but never a bad, mean, or dangerous person. I never guessed she was bipolar, and I guess I just attributed her mild moodiness to her monthly visitor.

Her only fear is that if she were ever to lose her insurance and ability to pay for her meds that she would lose what the good life the meds have given her back. She has a really nice boyfriend and has her life together pretty well, better than most, 'stable' people I know.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 189
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/16/2009 9:58:20 AM

Her only fear is that if she were ever to lose her insurance and ability to pay for her meds that she would lose what the good life the meds have given her back. She has a really nice boyfriend and has her life together pretty well, better than most, 'stable' people I know.


This doesn't surprise me, stafford jim....

Since I have stabilized my moods (for the most part, nothing is ever perfect) I work much harder at everything than I used to.

Especially relationships. I don't take them for granted anymore. They take work, and give and take, and compromise....

I used to think that all I had to do was "show up"......I was wrong....very wrong....
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 190
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:22:40 AM

Im interested in learning about this kindling ammazzed.. I went manic back in 2007 and havent had another episode since. Ive reduced stressful triggers and though im not against drug treatment, ive been managing fine without any drug intervention. I can see if i cant handle triggers such as stress than im at a greater potential of being manic again.


You haven't mentioned any kind of depressive episode, kewlhand.

The only reason I mention this, is that bipolar has both components...mania, and depression.

If you had a single "manic" episode back in 2007, and haven't had depression, as described in bipolar criteria....your "episode" may have been circumstantially triggered, without any of the chemical involvement of bipolar.

If the above were my circumstances, I wouldn't take medication, either.....
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 191
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/16/2009 6:04:45 PM

what a very sad and ignorant attitude


Would you like to reveal who you are referring to, and explain your statement, missmouche?

You obviously believe that you have some knowledge that someone else is misinformed about......
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 192
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:55:45 PM
I just watched the video that Kewlhand posted a link to, and I have to say, that Dr. Jay's descriptions, and examples are the closest to actually being bipolar that I've seen or read anywhere.....

He has a Doctorate in Psychology, and his advice is sound, and I was surprised to find that I do some of the things he recommends on my own.....like having a "cognitive advisor" for when I'm not sure if my thinking is going south (which can help prevent "kindling")

It's 98 minutes long, but it's worth watching.....

if anyone wants to watch an informative video about bipolar check this out : http://www.bipolarlight.com/index2.html
 heartuvgold2
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 193
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 3:11:03 AM
Ok if anyone is going to attack me for this, bring it on. I love a good fight. (just kidding)

I guess we can call this my coming out party.

I was diagnosed as bipolar in the mid 80s This was when they were treating it with lithium and there wasn't very much published about the disease.

When I was really sick it was mainly around the time of having babies and when I had periods. I also had endometriosis and was hospitalized several times right after giving birth. I was even jailed once only two weeks after having a baby when that was how they dealt with it. They used to put people in jail until they could be evaluated and they were indeed treated like criminals at that time.

After having my third child didn't alleviate the symptoms of the endometriosis I was given the option of having one more child and breastfeeding or just having a hysterectomy so we opted to try once more and I had my son. Breastfeeding went fine and I was able to keep it up until he was 10 months old, then weening brought on symptoms again. I was hospitalized only for three days, given a pump and meds and sent home. Then had the hysterectomy.

The hysterectomy was a godsend. I was able to ween off the drugs with the help of my doctor and was drug free for over 15 years with no symptoms .

I recently started taking meds again because my doctor decided I was depressed even though I kept telling him I wasn't. The symptoms are starting to come back just like I thought they would. Note: Doctors are in business to make money. I'm not saying they're bad perse' but unless we're sick they don't have a job.

Here's what I was able to glean from all of this.

If you have bipolar or any mental illness it's simply a chemical imbalance in the brain which is in that sense a physical problem. So it's not a character flaw and it's nothing to be ashamed of.

But practically anyone with poor eating habits, relationship issues, and chemical dependancy like coffee, cigarettes, pot or other drugs, pms, menopause, post partum problems, abuse and anything else that can mess with your psyche can also cause a chemical imbalance if not treated.

So I believe a lot of people are misdiagnosed and they should be kept in a controlled environment, given food and vitamins and treated like a human being and observed and not given medication until it's been clearly indicated that they're mentally ill.

If they've been treated for let's say two weeks and still have no symptoms it's safe to say they're ok, and maybe just needed a rest and to get away from whatever was bothering them.

If they have symptoms, I would first rule out hormonal problems, or withdrawal from whatever they were on and then and only then give them therapy for a mental illness and medication if they're severe enough.

If someone isn't mentally ill and they're given medication for someone who is they can start to show the same symptoms. It's only common sense.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 194
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 5:25:01 AM
This is the world of relationships that we're dealing with, and from that perspective there are two parts to dealing with disorders like this. One part is the disorder itself, and all that is known or thought about it; that has been written about here to the nth. The other part is what I want to focus on, which is the practical side of dealing with the particular instance of the problem.
It doesn't matter that some or even many people with the disorder can have successful treatment, or that some can't or wont. Making a judgment about either this victim of the disease, or the daughter and father who are struggling with it is not helpful, as it does not point to what to do.
The situation as it stands, is that the father is continuing the relationship with the woman, and she is driving the daughter away. From a practical standpoint, all the daughter can do, is to express support to the father, and then stand back for her own sake. This is best both for her, and for her father, since continuing to battle with the woman will be like fighting a shooting war in his house, with all the peripheral (in this case, emotional) injuries involved. It is tragic that she will lose time from her relationship with her father, but as long as the father stays with this woman, and she continues her behavior, there's nothing else to be done.
My ex wife is a similar bipolar person. The medicines alternately helped and hurt. Ultimately, she decided that I was the real problem, so we are split now. She continues to behave erratically, as this woman does. I have full sympathy for the disorder, and council my sons often on how their mother is under the sway of her chemical imbalances, but I also council them that she is still responsible for the choices she makes and sticks with (such as blaming others for everything and anything that goes wrong in her life). If she were a saintly person who had a dangerously contagious incurable disease, the situation would be the same. Have compassion for her, and for those who must try to help her, but protect yourself from the dangers and damages of the disease.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 195
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/17/2009 11:16:07 AM

But practically anyone with poor eating habits, relationship issues, and chemical dependancy like coffee, cigarettes, pot or other drugs, pms, menopause, post partum problems, abuse and anything else that can mess with your psyche can also cause a chemical imbalance if not treated.


You've made some great points, heartuvgold2....

Your "gleaning" makes alot of sense.

Here is a link to a radio show from Minniapolis, with two Psychiatrists discussing depression, bipolar disorder, and Borderline Personality Disorder.

One caller describes how she had one "episode", was diagnosed bipolar, and was on meds for four years.

She isn't bipolar....she's been off the meds for two years, and had no problems. She had problems while she was on the meds, for a disorder that she didn't have.....it's very interesting.

http://minnesota.publicradio.org/www_publicradio/tools/media_player/popup.php?name=minnesota/news/programs/2009/09/09/midmorning/midmorning_hour_2_20090909_64
 kewlhand75
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 197
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:41:31 PM
actually quasi, I did go into serious depression. It's hard for me to call it depression. It was like my mind was so exhausted and burned out. It is normal though considering I barely slept during the manic episode and expended so much energy. I can understand how people do feel so hopeless in that state of mind. Its still a bit of a challenge but my frame of mind is much much better today than it was following the manic episode back at that time.
 kewlhand75
Joined: 3/4/2007
Msg: 198
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/19/2009 10:44:33 PM
Quasi. actually i rewatched the video and realize that Dr. Carter did mention the kindling effect briefly. I wonder if this bp is causing my memory problems as well ;)
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 199
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/22/2009 12:41:40 AM
Quasi. actually i rewatched the video and realize that Dr. Carter did mention the kindling effect briefly. I wonder if this bp is causing my memory problems as well ;)


I have memory problems too. My disorders (bipolar, BPD) are very connected to stress, and anxiety.

The very short version, is that every day stress and anxiety can cause me to become overwhelmed.

When I become overwhelmed, I become very scattered and I have trouble concentrating.

If I'm not concentrating very well, I don't remember things...important things, sometimes.

I have learned over time, that when this happens, if I don't take a short break...by myself...later on down the road, I will have to take a longer break. In other words, if I don't have time for a short break, I find it.

I will do something that feels frivolous, or something that I really enjoy that's away from my normal environment. Something as simple as driving for an hour, stopping for an ice-cream (or whatever you enjoy) eating the ice cream where I am.....(not in the car!)

By the time I get home, my mind has had the time to process what's overwhelming me, and I go home feeling somewhat refreshed.

The main part of this is what you have picked to do that you enjoy. If it's an ice cream cone, savour every mouthful, really enjoy that ice cream.

If you've taken your mind off your stress, anxiety for a short period of time, you should go back home thinking about the ice cream cone.

The very short version here, is stopping and smelling the roses....It really does work.
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 200
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:40:59 PM
OP I had an ex that had been diagnosed as bipolar. Manic depressive behavior that was more like the episodes that were ackward but mostly incoherent. The episodes would involve an event that had occurred weeks ago that she had dealt with aside from the relationship. And those episodes were brought into the relationship. Very scary without medication which is what I had dealt with. I would allow the dad to make his own decision as to what he wants to deal with. Because the fiancee will be marrying the family not just the dad. It also seems like there may be in part an issue with the daughter and girlfriend related to the dad. Not uncommon when dealing in relationships with older children.
 frankie9954
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 201
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 4:58:01 PM
It was six years ago. It had been six months since we had been married. That's when she disclosed to me that she had been diagnosed with bi-polarism. In my opinion it was not a good time to disclose such an issue. However, I said we were married, I loved her deeply and one and we needed to work through it. She had confided in me that she could not keep the act up anymore. She had lead me to believe she was very happy when in fact she was very depressed most of the time. Really at that point she simply quit on our marriage.

For the next five years I did my best to be there for her. To support her and help her through the deep cycles of depression. Countless counselors and therapy, and one med after another. Unfortunately she never really came back to our relationship. For the most part, she was physically and emotional away from our marriage doing things that were not conducive to a marriage. I had to let her go. It took awhile for me to realize the person I fell in love with really did not exist. Today I have a lot of empathy for her.
 coldcanuk
Joined: 9/18/2009
Msg: 202
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 9/23/2009 7:57:40 PM
Well ambitious libra,
You have yourself a situation that requires you to make a very adult decision. One which I do not agree should ever have to be made by someone who is 17. To begin, lets the legal crap out of the way. Throwing the telephone at you and threatening your safety, in Canada, is illegal. As the US legal system and the Canadian legal system have origins in the same area, I would assume that this would also be illegal in any US state (should you be from the US). In Canada, the criminal code specifically highlights these types of assault under sections 264 and 266 Also, tossing a minor onto the street is a human rights violation in Canada. I'm sure there is something similar in US states as well. She can't do this to you - it is against the law.
You have asked for others to relate based on experience. I won't speech or whine -> but suffice to say, you can guess where I got the knowledge of Section 264 and 266 of the Canadian Criminal Code.
If what you claim is true, you have never raised your voice or swore to her - then you are much more intelligent than many other aged adults I know. By not raising your voice, or swearing at this person, you are attempting to control the situation without escalating it. Good job -> it is tough to do!!
The decision to be made is yours alone - sorry to say, anyone offering solutions is projecting themselves into your situation. All I can say is that, life is too short. Do not compromise your safety, your sense of comfort or your own well being. This is your home, you have a right to feel secure, happy and comfy under your own roof. You sound like a smart person. Thus, I am sure you have thought up a 1001 different solutions already. This is a very tough call and an unfortunate situation. I hope you are okay and you come out relatively unscathed in the end.

Good luck to you.

Cold canuk.
 pearlj
Joined: 3/1/2007
Msg: 204
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/17/2009 11:03:27 PM

I am truly saddened by many of the responses and frightened for my daughters future, if the comments here are any indication of what she is going to have to face in her lifetime. From experience, I can tell you that medication, therapy and love and support does help people suffering from this disorder. An individual who does not take responsibility for their treatment, is quite different from someone who is responsible and works hard to keep their bipolar manageable. My daughter's bipolar is inherited from my ex-husband (her father), whose bipolar was not diagnosed or managed until after our divorce. At her age, she is learning to recognise the triggers, knows the importance of taking her medication, maintaining a healthy diet, getting the proper amount of sleep, and finally, the importace of therapy. As a family, we are dealing with it by understanding the disorder, and ensuring that we have a support system in place to help us in our effort of helping our loved one. Unfortunately, with the media, people are inundated with negative messages regading bipolar, and placing all people suffering from it into one basket...a negative one. I can assure you, my daughter is intelligent, articulate,talented and a productive member of her school and family. She is moody and cycles often with her bipolar...but it is part of who she is, and she is a part of who we are as a family. I am very blessed to have her in my life and I would not trade her for anything...bipolar or not.

I just wanted to say that you are probably one of the best Mothers I have ever had the opportunity to come across, and you give me such hope! I myself am bipolar. Recently diagnosed, treated, medicated and very aware of the disease and all its repercussions. I have never even BEFORE diagnosis screamed at people, physically harmed them, blamed them for my internal chaos, been abusive, etc....I don't even know who these people are talking about. Maybe they are confused as to the difference between people who HARM other people and people who DON'T and that some abusers will use bipolar as some sort of convenient alibi. Regardless of our mental health WE ALL have to take responsibility for how we treat others. I don't have the right to break someone else's arm simply because mine is broken. And in every relationship I have ever had the thought of harming someone else before, during, or after an argument (I prefer discussions as opposed to arguments) has never even occurred to me.
I would suggest that anyone here at least attempt to educate themselves on the ACTUAL disorder and its spectrum. And NOT allow an abuser to use bipolar as a convenient scapegoat for abuse thus perpetuating the stigma and negative stereotypes.
Charity
 SylvanSwan
Joined: 8/5/2008
Msg: 205
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/17/2009 11:27:10 PM
ellena said:


There is no such thing as Bipolarism


I was under the impression that it was now changed to "Manic" or something to that effect?

Anyways, have a friend that has been diagnosed. She is doing really good, even though she does not take medication for it. But she has gone clean with her drinking, as that used to get her in a heap of trouble. She says that being clean has helped her a lot.

Anyways, I wish you good luck.
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 206
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/17/2009 11:47:07 PM
Yes there is they are mentally ill, something is wrong with there noggin they are not normal they are sick in da head and the people that date them and are happy are not normal themself's...


true, but in a marriage, the vows include in sickness and in health. whether it's a mental disease such as this or a cancer or a debilitating stroke, it IS going to affect your lives. However, you just don't dump a marriage because of an illness. you learn ways to live with it, to medicate it, to do whatever needs to be done. let's face it, one day, we will all die, and many of us will extremely debiliated in some manner at the point leading to death, which frequently drags on for several years. it usually happens later in life, but illnesses also occur earlier in life...they sometimes even occur in a couple's children. the couple doesn't just dump its children because of a long, difficult illness...perhaps even a lifelong illness; nor should a spouse simply walk away from a sick spouse. these are illnesses. people do not maliciously become ill just to make their spouse's life rougher. hopefully, prior to marrying, people understand the gravity and weight of those marriage vows and all they may entail over the years. personally, i think the only valid reasons for divorce are if one's life is in jeopardy, one is being physically abused, one's children are in dire jeaopardy, or one finds themselves facing a spouse who is unfaithful (particularly, repeatedly) to the marriage. very little else is decent reason for divorce. it essentially is a cop out for those people who married for only better...not worse. if people were more honest with themselves, many people should just not marry. either that, or they need to develop the strength of character to see a marriage through until death do they part, even under very difficult circumstances. to do otherwise, is making a mockery of the institution of marriage, and that affects the very core of the fabric of our society.

basically, a marital commitment shold be even a stronger commitment than a commitment to one's children. if the marriage commitment is to that degree (as it should be), the children will most likely benefit too. the reverse can have devastating consequences on not only the marriage, but also on the children.

as an aside, i recall one poster a few months ago who actually was considering divorce over a wife's weight gain. i was just floored when i read it. if it hadn't been a weight gain, he would have eventually found a wrinkle or something. if she were anything like him, i can only imagine, a divorce over his head beginning to bald. some of these people are just out-of-touch!
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 207
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/19/2009 5:40:14 PM

basically, a marital commitment shold be even a stronger commitment than a commitment to one's children. if the marriage commitment is to that degree (as it should be), the children will most likely benefit too. the reverse can have devastating consequences on not only the marriage, but also on the children.


I want to play devil's advocate here, just to see what the response is...

I have bipolar II, so I'm not throwing bipolar people under the bus, I'm giving what could be a very realistic scenario.....

Let's say I'm married with one child. My husband is bipolar....but he doesn't comply with his med regimen, and Dr's orders in general.

What some people don't realize, is that "responsibility" is sometimes not a huge priority for a bipolar person. We don't ignore responsibility purposely, but if in an extreme "manic" state, we may be convinced that we can do ANYTHING. Sometimes, if the consequences for lack of responsibility are high enough, it can help the bipolar person understand that if they are irresponsible, they will have to clean up the mess they make.

So....the husband stops taking his meds every couple of months...and the fun begins. He gambles away the whole mortgage payment....goes out to strip clubs after I'm in bed, because he hasn't slept for three days, and wants something to do. He racks up speeding tickets, because "He didn't think he was driving that fast". He gets a DUI because "He didn't think he drank that much". He's in trouble at work, because he's so wired, that he's standing around all day cracking jokes...he isn't working.

Where do my priorities lie at this point? Do I spend all my time TRYING to do damage control, and let my child fend for him/herself? Or do I take measures to keep me, and my child safe, until the father's reign of terror ends?
 kristi228
Joined: 4/29/2008
Msg: 208
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/19/2009 5:55:35 PM
Bob is correct, I met a man recently that was very happy, outgoing and so fun to be with. He told me he was bi polar, I thought he was on meds, I found out later he was not. The man went on about 2 -5 hours of sleep, he drove a truck for a living. It didnt take long before I witnessed the crash, he went from happy go lucky to the most miserable person. He was so depressed and he blamed me for it, because I didnt respond a certain way over something or do something ...anyway I saw a life walking on eggshells in front of me. I had to get rid of him, I did it as kindly as i could but I know it crushed him. I cant live like that, maybe someone smarter or stronger could.
 junipermoon
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 209
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she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/19/2009 5:59:58 PM
I cant live like that, maybe someone smarter or stronger could.


the smarter and stronger ones know to get out before the negativity starts to affect them. the issues of those close to us can have a draining effect on us, and you did the right thing to let the guy go. let him find his own way in his own time.

i think sooner or later, the disordered person gets fed up with theirself and their behaviors. it can only be miserable losing one friend after another due to one's own untreated problem.
 Sweetthing1985
Joined: 12/8/2009
Msg: 211
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 12/21/2009 6:10:25 PM
Ok, I'm sorry but I feel the need to respond to some of this. I am not mad at anyone for their opinion, and I'm not typing this message in an angry sort of way, so if you are reading it that way please adjust your perseption to fit my meaning. I just want to inform people of my point of few coming from a different perspective.

I am Bo-Polar, and it has taken a lot of work to get a correct diagnosis. Even before I knew what was wrong with me, most people didn't know there was something off until it got really bad, and that only happend because I went on the pill (totally messed everything up for me) At that point I was diagnosed with Depression as that was the stage I was in. All of you "normal" people can't really understand what that feels like, I mean, I wouldn't wish what I went through on my worst enemy, let alone anyone else. But even though I was misdiagnosed (which happens all the time) most people couldn't tell there was something wrong...other then the fact that I wasn't as happy as normal. You would be surprised how many people you interact with that have SOME type of mental illness or mood disorder and you don't even realize it. Most people have some type of mental illness or mood disorder to some extent or another and they don't realize they have anything wrong with them.

Yes, it's true that there are some people out there that have Bi-Polar that are not in control, but what most people don't understand is that if they get really "crazy" there is usually something else going on as well. Bi-Polar doesn't cause people to treat people like sh*t, mostly it just disables the ability to control our emotions well, and we cycle through depressed, normal, and manic. It is the persons underlying personality that determins how they react to situations. Any "normal" person can be a crazy controlling freak, it's just they don't get all of the hype because they are "normal".

And yes, I don't think there really is such thing as "normal" as everyone is different and deals with things in their own manner.

OP ~ I think there is something else going on with this woman you are talking about, something in her past has caused her to react to situations the way she does. If she says she has trust issues it usually stems from something in her past that has happend. Yes I agree that the Bi-Polar will magnify everything she is feeling and she should get that looked after. However, that being said, most people will not get help until they are ready. The only thing you can do is support your father, and hope he either can help her, or will realize that she isn't the one for him.

I hope this helps someone understand at least a little bit about Bi-Polar and how it can affect people. If handled properly the person can live a close to normal life, they just need to have couping mechanisms in place to handle the things they go through.
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 212
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 1/4/2010 3:27:26 PM
I think its a good thing when someone who has bi polar can mention when their behavior is not only influenced with the disorder but has to do with a discontent they may have regarding a particular issue. It was never a responsibility for that part of the behavior dealt with an ex with the disorder. Moreso the idea that the disorder was the sole reason for the volatile behavior. I really think the OP can influence the relationship with the dad's friend in deescalating during disagreements with the fiance and allowing the dad room to have a partner. The OP mentions how she is his only daughter and for him the dad not to allow the fiance to come between her the daughter and the dad. Instead of having the dad choose between having a relationship with an only daughter and a girlfriend. It would seem more mature to go with how the dad is developing his relationship situation with having an older child residing there while dating.
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