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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?      Home login  
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 spencer192
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 1
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
If you have recently met someone and have started what seems to be a loving, trusting & caring relationship how long does it take to know that it will last indefinitely ?

At what point can you be sure that both of you are committed to a very longterm relationship ? What signs are there or timescales that you can use to know that you really have found your new partner in life ?
 BaldyisBeautiful
Joined: 3/28/2008
Msg: 2
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/5/2008 2:19:05 PM

OP: You don't. Nothing in life is guaranteed - only DEATH and TAXES!

And I'm working on the death part ... taxes I can't do anything about!
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 3
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/5/2008 4:53:30 PM
You'll know once you realize that either person is not putting forth enough effort to sustain the relationship. Things start going downhill once complacency begins to set in.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 4
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/5/2008 7:35:34 PM
I have seen several relationships that I thought were solid as a rock go to hell and a hand basket for various reasons. I think the most wonderful marriage can be destroyed by something like the death of a child so you are never going to know that it will last until one of you dies.

I think you reach a point that you recognize that should neither of you change drastically, or by managing to change in an in tandem sort of way, this is someone that you could grow old next to and that is about as good as it gets in terms of feeling that you are with the right person.

Now, the other part that is important is that you have to look at things with really open eyes and recognize the person's faults and whether those are things that you can withstand over time. Something that seems perhaps not so much a big deal today could really take a toll on you 24/7, 365 over a period of five years or more.
 attachnostrings
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 5
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/5/2008 8:19:57 PM
A LIFE TIME MY FRIEND. ITS THE ONLY WAY. I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 25 YEARS THAT WILL END IN OCTOBER. DON'T ASK ABOUT THE YEARS TO COME, THEY ARE NOT HERE YET AND WE CAN'T CONTROL THEM. IF YOUR HAPPY NOW, LIVE IT, WE CAN ONLY CONTROL WHAT THE NEXT DAY WILL BE, AND YOU HAVE TO WORK ON THAT EVERYDAY. REMEMBER, THE FUTURE IS NOT OUR'S TO SEE. ITS JUST THE CHANCES OF LIFE. JUST LIVE IT.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 6
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/5/2008 9:14:27 PM
~OP~ I don't know, I seem to run about 90 days. Would that technically be a short-long-term-relationship? LOL
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 7
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:07:25 AM
There seems to be a trend whereby if you can make it past 3 months, the chances of it lasting improve.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 8
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/8/2008 10:12:21 AM
"You know it will last indefinitely from the moment it starts."

What? Listen, I hate to rain on what seems to be a awesome fantasy parade, but that's a loaded statement. I've had the feeling that a relationship would last indefinitely from the moment it started, but it ended...definitely.


I'm afraid you missed the tongue in cheek nature of this response.

"Indefinite" does not mean "forever". It means can't be defined and is thus more akin to "unknown".

So it is an absolute triusm that you know a relationship will last indefinitely from the moment it starts because the end date can't be foretold or defined.

Well, maybe if one had a terminal disease. But even then, predictions can be wrong...

EDIT: Doh - didn't see the followup post by Pau saying the exact same thing :P
 CherylCake
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 9
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/9/2008 8:35:07 AM
After one person dies, then you'll know for sure.Otherwise, it's a big crap shoot.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 10
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:02:28 AM

From my experience I've come to realize that you have to judge someone by their actions, much more than what they say.

How long ... ? As long as both parties put their best intention ~ will ~ humour ~ affection and a helping hand to the table called "relationship".
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 11
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/10/2008 12:06:04 PM
I am absolutely sure the relationship will last forever, at about one day, maybe two, before she breaks up with me.
 wkuplilsuzy
Joined: 2/12/2006
Msg: 12
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/10/2008 12:21:03 PM
"How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last?" Forever???
Ummmm...Forever....
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 13
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/11/2008 10:50:25 PM
When I married my husband, I thought four years of dating was sufficient time to "really know" - after 15 years of being married - clearly I err'd.

When I became "engaged" briefly - I thought a year and a half of dating leading up to the engagement was enough time to "know".

Wrong again.

Now, seven years of abstinence later...I wouldn't have an idea if it was right, wrong or just right unless Goldilocks and all her bears pulled into the drive way, stamped it on my forehead and tatto'd my bottom.

I don't think there's a warranty.
And the complaint department it appears is also the online dating forums...

I have believed that you can know in one heart beat and be right for a life time.
I have believed I knew after years that I could trust and I have been wrong.

Now I think you have to give, and give and give and hope and believe and be the best you can at being a good person to the one you wish to be with and if this works well for your both - then maybe ever after does last.

Faith is believing in something when common sense tells you not to.

That's also a really good motto for love and hope and trust.
 StarreGazer
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 14
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/14/2008 3:53:28 PM


Msg: 40 -- I wish someone could give me a chrystal ball to allow me to know what beholds in the future for us??


Are you sure that is what you want? Let's assume for the moment that you have the ideal relationship. All is well with you and your man, no complaints from you or him. Yet the future may hold something tragic for you that would rip him from your life. Would you REALLY want to know that, or would you prefer to live your life in blissful ingnorance until that cursed moment?

I, for one, would prefer the blissful ignorance until the end. The knowledge would taint my happiness. I think precognition is a curse to those who possess it.
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 15
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:57:28 PM
It you have gotten past a couple of months or so and he or she has not shown their psychotic side you are probably all right,lol.
 Urbanessa
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 16
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/14/2008 6:15:59 PM
Well, most marriages are being broken up over money or kids. Soooooo as long as you keep your finances in order and don't have children your chances that your relationship is going to last till death does you part are pretty solid.

Also, maybe a dating website isn't exactly the best place to ask that kind of question, OP. Obviously the vast majority of the the site users have no idea how to make a relationship last - otherwise they wouldn't be here, would they ... ?
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 17
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/15/2008 4:08:58 PM
I think that it will last "indefinitely" as long as you both work on it. CHANGE THE OIL , REGULAR TUNE UPS , LET IT COOL DOWN WHEN IT'S OVERHEATED "MAINTENANCE" lol sorry
But I think that you know that their is that potential by looking at the person and knowing that you would absolutely not be able to hurt that person in any way shape or form. Not that there are people that you would want to hurt but you just couldn't bear to see that person in pain.
Plus I can give you an anology that I tell people that may sound weird but it's true,
If you were standing at a bus stop and there were 10 busses to pick from
when you find the right person it is like you have found your bus
Why because everything appeals to you about that bus and DRUM ROLL PLEASE!!!
the bus is going where you want to go!!!!!!!!!
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 18
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How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 8/15/2008 6:22:07 PM
When you die

There are NO guarantees... some relationships are like passing ships, some are only meant to last through a certain period or phase.. some last a lifetime (and even rarer are those that last AND nurture both partners)

If you are still together after 2 years and still enjoy each others company (to the point of stealing time away to be together) then chances are good it's a keeper

JMHO
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 19
How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?
Posted: 10/22/2008 11:50:33 AM
If you can be bored together.

Not that you would seek that.

But in between all the exciting date stuff,
if yall would rather be with each other doin nuthin,
then elsewhere doing something...

then it may stick.

Good Luck.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > How long does it take to know if a new relationship is going to last ?