Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 OhFunnyMe
Joined: 1/2/2008
Msg: 31
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
Not so sure if it's so much the age thing, or if it is more about how much experience a person has in dating/relationships. Along the line of that the more you date, or relationships you have, the more you "know the score." I think that might be the leading cause to not being able to "fall in love" the same way as we did in the past.

Wisdom.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 32
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 4:22:21 PM

It's like skydiving again after the time your chute didn't open.


 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 33
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:14:12 PM
I hate to admit it but after reading the posts I'm in agreement with *Ron* and *Mr. Happy Pants*.

But, the last time I fell in love was before age 45 and it lasted 12 years+ until his death.
I don't like casual dating, never did, but I will say that I have met some very nice men. So I guess you could say that I'm in that "the rest of us, who are quite happy with life in general" category as it were.

I will go on to say though, if there were someone who came along, that tripped my trigger (lol) and made me sit up and take notice, who was within my reach, I would prioritize it more than I am at this time.....Since I'm over 45 now and it hasn't happened, I'll have to get back to you on if it's the same or different falling in love after age 45. I would guess that the feelings wouldn't be all together that different.....but what do I know.

I don't _need_ a relationship to validate me or define me as a person.
 halfnorge
Joined: 7/28/2007
Msg: 35
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/9/2008 5:43:19 PM
One thing that I have learned is that I am as gullible now as I was when I first started dating in junior high.
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 3:06:24 AM
Its the same and it hurts when you are older too. I have no love interest now and do not enjoy life as much without a partner but it is harder to find a person you really want to be with as you age. When younger everyone looked about the same, all young. Now we can look from young to old at the same age, makes it tougher.
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:04:26 AM
When I was younger it was puppy love at first and then at 19 it was love
to where I wanted to commit myself and get married. Falling in love these
days is hard and you have to have the right person you want to accomplish
that with. Being single today is a lot different that when I was a teenager,
cause today I know what I do and don't want. Yes falling in love today is
the same and does hurt more now than it did when I was a teen. Dating today
is much harder than it was when I was in high school, it was all about having
fun no pure pressure just being cool and enjoying puppy love and ones first
kiss and JR/SR prom dance that part of dating and love was fun. Now it's more
about who has what , and the perfect body , what they do and so forth, but real
love begins with wanting to be with that someone for them and sharing in all there
dreams and goals not about who has a hard body or a hot car , what should matter
is the chemistry and what counts in the heart, and I think today falling in love is
more pressure now than when I was a teen in the 70's the dating and singles world
as changed so much compared to what it was back then. ~ Brenny
 spacebabe9849
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 38
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 9:45:00 AM
Falling in love is fablous no matter what age
 ApplePieSweetTart
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 39
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 10:05:41 PM
I fell in love at 43, after not having loved anyone since my ex-husband. It was as wonderful, as tormenting, as fantastic, as sucky, as awesome as when I was 16.

I've had friends who have fallen passionately in love in their 50's and 60's. It's all good.
 ApplePieSweetTart
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 41
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 10:20:18 PM
It was real for us at the time. Just not forever. You'll find it, ismene1..or it will find you. :)
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 42
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 10:28:10 PM
I thought it would be. That it would be, erm, a bit more sedate, calm, &c. . . . It hasn't been. Thank God, lol!


 nytebyrd
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 43
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/10/2008 11:44:53 PM
It dang well better be. And remember falling is akin to tripping.
 Chantii08
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 44
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 2:13:48 AM
I know that falling in Love after 45 can be wonderful, but if the other person is really into it; It will be even greater.
It is sad, that so few people want to open their hearts and really enjoy the ride.
We may be over 45, but if you let yourself really see and connect to the good in the other person, you can feel like you are 15 again!
Why is everyone so guarded or just out for casual sex?
Sure it may hurt to get hurt, but the joy that you are not experiencing is incredible.
It is like playing a sport, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but you will never experience the joy of winning if you are afraid of losing.
All of us have been hurt and had bad experiences, and no it is about focusing on the good.
You will be glowing and laughing and feeling like you just turned 15 again.
Come on friends. Give it a try!
And girlfriends, take your time, and make him work for it, don't let him rush you if you want to help him fall in love.javascript:smilie('')
javascript:smilie('')
 ApplePieSweetTart
Joined: 7/16/2008
Msg: 45
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 4:38:34 AM
No one should have to "work for it" when falling in love. It either happens or it doesn't.
 WindRoper
Joined: 7/24/2007
Msg: 46
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:06:12 PM
I haven't fallen in love after 45 but I had a slight brush with it this past weekend when a friend my age announced she believed she was headed in that direction. I will spare you all the details of meeting Mr. Wonderful and say only that it appears more like an acute case of lust... with a man ho. "Giiiirl! Get yourself checked!" So from that observation it would appear it can be quite similar to when we were younger. I suspect any difference isn't related so much to age as it is the individual's past experiences. Some will leap into the pool with total abandon. Others will wade in more carefully.
 Henry L. Moon
Joined: 6/1/2008
Msg: 47
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:20:06 PM
Applepie...gimme back that chocolate I done give ya afore!! Hail YES, you HAVE to "work for it"!! Aint nuthin' in life an entitlement!! You best work hard for it ( love ) and you work JUST as hard to keep it!! Try going in a diner and getting lunch THEN explain to them that THIS is your "free lunch" that you are entitled to for no other d*amned reason than you just showed up! Watch what happens!
 cbebe1
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 48
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 12:28:11 PM
At 52 and being single for 10+ years I have recently met a man that gives me all those wonderful feelings I had when I was younger...so no, I do not think the emotionality changes....the goose bumps, racing heart, thinking about them throught the day, missing them when they are away, etc.

What does change is a comfort level being "in Love" at a mature age provides. I find that, as a couple, we are more secure in our relationship so there is not undue pressure from jealousy, suspicion or dishonesty. We both understand, that as individuals, we have respnsibilities to others (like our children) and jobs and that if we are not together 24/7 we will really appreciate the "couple" time we do have. Is it maturity or are we just to very secure individuals? I do not have the answer to that one.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 49
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 2:40:10 PM
I guess I am crashing this thread because I am still a hair under 45. Something chemical happens in the brain when one falls in love that mirrors and produces psychotic behavior. That said, falling in love is the same as it was when you were younger but what you do about it is different.

When the cracks start appearing, you don't paint over them as you might have when you were younger, you get something to look underneath and find out what this nut is really about. If you don't like what you find, you know enough to realize that the love isn't going to make up for all of that, and you save yourself before it is too late.

You become more tolerants of stupid crap that doesn't mean anything and will not put up with b.s. just to have someone in your life.
 hugs*n*hisses
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 50
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 2:56:17 PM
From post #25:
Because of the "ultimate high" I felt when falling in love... my much younger self was far more willing to overlook and ignore the red flags waving in the face of men I found myself "falling in love" with.

I agree with that, but unlike that poster, what's changed for me isn't that I'm guarded nowadays, rather that I have learned to tell the difference between the high of lust and the glow of real love.

And I am holding out for that, even if I have to lock myself up for weeks at a time when my body tries to betray me for the other (damn, spring fever is a bugger, isn't it?).

Like some others have said, casual dating has no allure for me - I have awesome friends and family who fulfill my social needs.

HnH
 lookinatit
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 51
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 4:20:22 PM
For me it is different now because I think I'm a little more cautious now than when I was in my twenties. Although I've been with someone for a few weeks, I'm hesitant about using that "L" word just yet. I just want to mean it when I say it. Maybe I won't be so hesitant in a few more weeks.
 Levi501s
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 52
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 5:03:23 PM
I dunno, but I sure have plans for it to be different when/if it happens.

I made-up my mind that I can be happy the rest of my life without it, although I'd be happier if it did happen. I do rather well with that resolve, except for those couple of pesky months around Christmas (although I've developed strategies to minimize the effects).

For me, the difference hinges on how I define/d "love" then and now.

When I was younger, I defined "love" by how tolerant I could be of my SOs behavior, i.e. how much crap I could put up. The more crap I put up with, the deeper the expression of my love to them, even if it to my own demise. That wasn't working well!!!! Duh!!!! LOL

Yes, I had issues with picking the wrong partners. Bite Me! I'm not perfect! LOL

So, about a decade ago I redefined what "love" meant to me. Since then my definition of "love" hinges on MUTUAL RESPECT. It starts and/or stops right there. No if, ands, or buts about it.

My Motto these days?: I rather be lonely than miserable.

Me and my "resolve" have become pretty good friends! We greet each other daily!
 thisisbj
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 53
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 6:36:40 PM
I guess my husband and I qualify since he is 50 and I'm 48. We met two years ago this coming weekend...so we plan to go back to the Sand Bar & Grill where we initially met at 11:30 on August 16th, 2006. It's the exact same as when you are a kid. The excitement when you hear his voice, the joy of getting a card for no reason, the smile that comes to his face when he walks in the door at the end of the day, the flirting on the beach or basically anytime of the day.

Of course we have the exs and the kids ...a total of 4 kids...step families certainly add a new dimension that you don't even think about when you are in love while young.

Another advantage...if you think about being married for 15 years...you definitely aren't thinking you will leave each other at 65 compared to getting married at 20 and divorcing at 35.

The only regret we constantly have is that we didn't meet each other when we were younger to have more years to spend together.

It does help if you have stayed active and healthy makes the bedroom just as much fun without any medical assistance.
 hugs*n*hisses
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 54
view profile
History
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:17:50 PM
Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary this Saturday.
It will also be my son's wedding day, so it's a day I look forward to as well.

The only regret we constantly have is that we didn't meet each other when we were younger to have more years to spend together

Yep, I used to torment myself with that one too, until I realized that quality time outweighs quantity of time by far....I think many of us who stayed in relationships that were utterly loveless toward the last few years can attest to that.

Not only that, what you went through in the past is what has made who you both who you are today, and therefore it is likely also what gives you the deep appreciation you have for each other.

So, thiisbj, enjoy your love for each other, and celebrate it every day....you lucky ducks!

HnH
 jedi4
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 55
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 7:49:46 PM
for Indian men falling in love is the same at till you are about 55 or even 60+, you see a hot woman and dang you get a hard_on.. always wear baggy pants
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 57
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/11/2008 11:12:39 PM

for Indian men falling in love is the same at till you are about 55 or even 60+, you see a hot woman and dang you get a hard_on.. always wear baggy pants



You've got romance in your soul...


Sounds more like lust in his pants to me!!!

 jedi4
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 59
Is falling in love different at age 45+ than when you are younger?
Posted: 8/12/2008 3:37:24 AM

You've got romance in your soul...


Thanks!



Sounds more like lust in his pants to me!!!


well at least you found it funny..
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  >