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 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 51
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
It happened to me too windsor saints08. But it wasn't that I thought it was a joke. I feared future heartbreak. I knew that once I had this girl. My heart would not have been able to take losing her. I choose to not miss what I never had and rejected her offers of growing closer. That was over 21 years ago and today, I can't get her out of my mind.
 Goldie Girl
Joined: 1/6/2007
Msg: 53
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:34:06 PM
because they are not interested at all, life is short... they actually need to get to know the person inside first... I don't go on physical looks only ..... I see if we click....and if we dont ...just be honest ....
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 56
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/12/2008 7:47:05 PM
For the same reason women do the same thing...

I'll let you know when I find out what the hell it is.
 mdavis4520
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 58
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/13/2008 12:19:55 PM
I hate to say it....but it sounds me me like this guy was looking for a "friends with benefits" situation from you.
 RoughAsGuts
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 61
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/15/2008 9:03:00 PM
I thought the whole point of going out with someone was to know how much your into them, so if the opposite holds true after a while... then its bad to not fake liking them and pull back instead? Seriously were all individuals here and to say that someone cannot leave you for some unknown reason is like stating that you have some totalitarian grip on them and that they are not allowed to excersize free will around you. I know it hurts or baffles us when that special someone we think is gearing up for a fulfilling relationship suddenly exits the scene, but if you respect them enough, despite the mishap. Then you can forgive and forget.
 RoughAsGuts
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 64
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:11:58 AM
Apparently real difficult for some relationships. Especially if the girl has a tendency to be clingy. You cant fault a man for being bad at breakups, not all men are this indifferent. But to carry on and mope about a jerk who doesnt know how to end it properly is like crying over spilt milk. Whats done is done, and if the woman has any self respect she will spend the minimum amount of time mulling it over. Cause the more she does, the more aweful she begins to feel about herself and question her own dignity etc etc, it never leads to anything, only more power to the guy who left her.
 American Woman
Joined: 9/2/2007
Msg: 66
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:47:18 AM
For the same reason women do...they just don't do it for ya. Could just be bad timing.
 OneLifeTwoLive
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 68
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/18/2008 9:42:59 PM
You got me on this one. Friends with benefits. Go for it dudes.
But honestly, why do you care? Rejection is part of the whole dating scene, don't take it personal men have been getting rejected, pull back, let's be friends or whatever else for thousands of years. Welcome to the party.
 RoughAsGuts
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 73
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Re: Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:12:35 AM
Mzsomebody, I agree that someone being sincere and open doesnt deserve to be shut down. But theres alot of idiots out there that will not think twice before completely doing a Houdini on a poor well meaning girl, what I meant before is that they are not worth considering. Not even worth calling up and asking for an explanation. The way I see it theres alot of good people out there to be wasting time pondering about the "could haves" or "should haves". Speaking for myself though I think that if someone is into doing a disappearing act, then let them. Life is too short to care about it long enough to make it an issue.
 ashmanonar
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 76
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:00:33 PM
I know in one or two of my occasions, it's because the girl turned out to be crazy. Not fun crazy, just crazy.
 mjk21258
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 79
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 12:42:30 PM
applepiesweettart on 8/11/2008 6:01:13 PM
Subject: Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Message: I'm curious as to what the men's answers will be on this subject in general.

Men & math are hard. :-/

Don't know what the answer is, but don't think for a second that men have a monopoly on this type of thing.
 lot2offer
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 82
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 1:38:06 PM
I think one of the key reasons is there not sure that you're what they want so they start out intense then back off because of what they discover/learn/realize as you spend more time together. I do it all the time. I have been out with plenty of women over the past 12 months where I was initially interested only to find myself not that interested later. Most I met on line and from my area. Some I dated for months - others I dated for weeks. For one reason or another I didn't think that any of them was 'the one' so I backed off - eventually ending it. I don't know about all guys but most of us do have some degree of feeling and don't like hurting people - I know I don't. If I start out interested and you're interested then I loose interest but you don't - it makes it difficult to end abrubtly. I tend to just back off, eventually ending it. Sex has nothing to do with it. A guy can go out and get sex just like a woman can. She might not look like what he wants to end up with but hey - if he's only wanting sex then he's not looking at her as a prospect for a wife/mate right? I also find that if you're not 'feeling' it for a woman and she is - then why have sex??? It just complicates matters even more and leaves her angry when you do pull back. Sex - while satisfying in either a one night stand or long term relationship - I find should be reserved for someone that shares the same level of commitment/love/desire/passion for. That is unless the both of you right from the start explain that the relationship is strictly physical/sexual and that nothing will come of it - however I don't know too many women that are true ho's ( I mean even a ho doesn't THINK she's a ho) - most ho'ish type of women exchange sex for the hopes of winning a guys adoration/love. I don't think any woman wants to feel used for pleasure and not loved at the same time. The majority of men on the other hand can just have sex and leave it that. I have never been able to just 'hook up' with someone and then not see them again?? If I am attracted enough to sleep with you then I am attracted enough to be with you then I am attracted enough to want a relationsip with you. Anything else is a waste of time in my book.
 PIAOWAKA
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 87
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 6:42:45 PM
Many men are looking for sex and nothing more (depending on their age.) Also a high percentage of men are afraid of commitment. Some single young men's hormones are raging and sex and more sex is all they want and they want their freedom to date other women. Some older men may have had a bad experience with several women or, they have gone through a bad divorce and are 'gun shy.' A confident woman would take things slow and easy and never let the man know if you are lonely or desperate, but give them the sense (and women should be) that they are independent and can live life without a man. If you think a man of any age just wants sex and you want something more permanent in your life then dump these guys because there are still some great guys out there that are lonely and aren't afraid of commitment.
 webchick
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 90
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:01:50 PM

what the man can't wait one week for my son to return to school?

Maybe because you're teasing him and others with fishnet stocking pictures on your profile and interests like "insatiable sex"? Hardly the type of stuff you'd see from someone who is seeking a committed, LTR.


i told him to remove his profile. we get along well. we have chemistry. we want the same things. cut the games. he says that we haven't met face to face and we should take a break.


What's good for the goose is good for the gander? Your profile's still up but you want him to take his down?!! Based on the fact that you chatted but have never met in person? Pulllleeeeeeeezzzz!


If he's pulling back, it's not about waiting a week for your son to go to school. It's not even about your stalking him on POF and checking to see if he's been online when you're expecting his call. Pull back? Dude should run!
 zangie
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 92
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/20/2008 8:13:39 PM
Personally....the reason they pull back isn't as important to me as just being given a heads up that they are...there could be any number of reasons as people have said...I don't know if I really want to know if it is hurtful..but, a plain..I don't think this is going to work, or I don't think we are good match..anything rather than just disappearing, or left hanging...even- I decided to pursue something with someone else ( which a few guys did tell me, and I was grateful for the consideration) would help...

Just not gone with the wind...lol..

I'm still driving myself nuts about one in particular..lol...
 lot2offer
Joined: 9/25/2007
Msg: 102
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:14:29 PM


Posted By: kuriouskat on 8/23/2008 800 PM
Subject: Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Message: To lot2offer: Good boy!!


If two ppl consent to sex only and both only want sex, more power to ya. Two consenting adults. But, be honest. Don't lead ppl on. Also, if that's what you agree to and for some reason one aquires feelings and the other doesn't...remember what you agreed to in the first place. Think about that...maybe you shouldn't have kicked it up. And if anything...kicking it up right away is not good for a healthy foundation in a relationship. It's not gonna make a guy want to marry you. I'm sure it's happened from time to time, but unlikely. You should want them to like/love you for who you are and not for how nice your ass is or what your skills are. If you think it's more than just sex you want, be friends first. Make sure things are what you want before you take it to the next level. Respect yourself and the person. Build something from there. And if they run...whatever the reason, move on. They're a loser...not worth your time. Depends on the circumstances. Good luck!!


And I couldn't agree with you more baby girl! Thanks for the kudos......


Matt
 webchick
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 110
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/9/2008 6:52:41 AM
OK, so I've heard that natural human instinct is to RUN when being CHASED.

So, if you really like a guy (and I do), how do you get them to initiate the chase? Especially if they are very shy?




 VAPurr
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 111
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:48:24 AM
Some men will say anything to get a date.

Some men just don't know what they want.

Some men fear getting too close and falling in love.

Men can have a problem saying what they really feel.

In your case, I think he was very attracted to you and
got cold feet over the having kids thing.

VAPurr
 VAPurr
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 112
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:50:51 AM
You ask them out for a reason unrelated to sex
and be nice to them and see what happens.

VAPurr
 VAPurr
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 113
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/27/2008 11:53:44 AM
I like your answer.

VAPurr
 Lynsteph74
Joined: 12/1/2005
Msg: 115
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/27/2008 5:03:31 PM
Sometimes, like us women, they are truly interested...you go out once or twice, and then some little, teensy thing, like the socks you wear, your perfume, or the way you hold your head when you talk, sends a signal to his brain that somehow sparks him to think of every other "unperfect" thing you have ever done...and he decides that the nays have it.

I have had these dates and met these guys, too....and it is odd, but it is either accept my theory, or be all cynical and think they all are only after an easy hook-up...which frankly, in my 30s, I doubt is the case. Sometimes, yes, but mostly, no.
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 117
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/27/2008 6:10:41 PM
From reading the O.P., what I hear is a woman who thinks that she doesn't have to show any interest in the guy. He has to make all "ALL" the moves to get the relationship moving forward? Maybe he senses from you that, "You're just not that into him"? Message 141^^^^^ Thanks for mentioning the book, but why not tell us about the author? At least give us his name.
 rodneyg79
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 118
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:49:38 PM
Well sometimes as one gets to know another person on a deeper level things that they don't like and aren't willing to accept can come to the surface. Thus, they pull back despite their initial interest.

In your particular case the guy may have been opposed to dating a women with kids, but liked you so he decided to just give it a shot and see if maybe he could deal with it. After giving it a shot he may have just decided it wasn't something he could deal with and thus pulled back.

All in all this is just part of the normal dating process. It surely does suck I can say, but it's going to happen. Sometimes you'll be the one doing the pulling back and other times you'll be the one being pulled away from. I suppose it'd make things more helpful if we knew why the person had a change of heart, but that is seldom the case and if we do get a reason it's usually something generic like we're not compatible all the while we know there was something(s) specific they didn't like.
 falcon7838
Joined: 5/7/2007
Msg: 121
Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:25:46 AM
Ok ladies I'm gona lose my guy card for telling you this but here it is in a nut shell,
most you you guys tend to choose the pretty boys and badboys, you know that great looking guy with that smile so white it would put Barbra Bush's hair to shame, with the six pack abs you can do laundry on, yeah that guy.
And what do you expect, he can have pretty much any woman he wants and does till something else comes along that looks a little better.
His head is about the size of the Goodyear blimp from all the women he uses and dumps
and he could not care less about your feelings because its all about him.
I would reason to bet there are thousands of guys on this site that would worship the ground you women walked on, put they dont get the chance because the dont look as good or they are not as tall as you where looking for, or they drive a bus instead of being CEO.
Do you like fighting your guy for the mirror cause he thinks he's better looking then you? does he have more hair and skin products then you?
Come on ladies , give the nice guys a chance in stead of the badboys all the time.
 ICtheLite
Joined: 9/12/2010
Msg: 143
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Why do some men act interested, then pull back?
Posted: 4/8/2012 7:32:27 AM

Why not just be honest if you aren't interested instead of just disappearing?


Unfortunately knowing why this particular guy did it wouldn't help you avoid it again in the future. There could be as many reasons as there are guys on the site.
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