Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating girl but I'm clueless...      Home login  
 gary b.
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 1
Dating girl but I'm clueless...Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Been dating this girl for almost two months now - we see eachother about once a week, talk on the phone a few nights a week for 15-20 mins. We've kissed a few times - nothing too heavy and hold hands occasionally. Things seem to be going fairly slow, which is okay with me. I'm really into going to sporting events, and she is not into sports, but she is always willing to go to the games with me for our "dates". We've also been on normal dates like dinner, walks, movies etc.. Chemistry is good, we have good talks...nothing too heavy...good eye contact, lots of smiles laughter etc..

She has not dated much at all, and seems to let me sort of take the lead in our dating (i.e. I initiate virtually all the calls, but she always calls back). However, I haven't dated much at all either. She doesn't ask many too deep questions, she just says if I have something to tell her, she expects that I will.

She seems interested in me as she seems to want to get together at least once a week - always returns calls promptly. She has invited me to meet her friends, although it has not happened yet, because of my availability. Not sure if she is dating anyone else, although I suspect she is not (I'm not dating anyone else). this considered normal dating?? I'd probably like to take it to the next level of a "relationship" but think that she maybe wants me to take lead, and I'm not sure how to do this.

Your thoughts on all this??
 gary b.
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 2
Dating girl but I'm clueless...
Posted: 8/11/2008 9:31:51 PM
Just curious...what makes you think she wants me to take the next step???

I don't love her yet, but think that I could - only known her less than two months. We're both at an age (early 30s) where we are thinking about marriage and kids, and I definetely see her as marriage material...but like I say, I've only known her less than two months, so too early to tell...
 gary b.
Joined: 6/22/2008
Msg: 3
Dating girl but I'm clueless...
Posted: 8/11/2008 9:57:02 PM
Well, I wouldn't consider myself to me an "exciting" guy.

What makes you think that there is more interest than "a casual friend who keeps her from boredom"??
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 4
Dating girl but I'm clueless...
Posted: 8/12/2008 1:08:16 AM
Two people in your 30's who have dated for a couple months and all you've done is "kissed a few times - nothing too heavy?" That's adorable... if you're Amish.

I'm not saying you should necessarily be hitting the sack just yet but after that first kiss, there's usually a progression of action with each date. If there are outside factors like religion responsible for the slow progress, you might want to mention them here. Otherwise, it sounds like it's time to step up your game and move things to the next level or call it quits. There's no point in clinging to something that isn't moving forward.
Joined: 5/9/2008
Msg: 5
view profile
Dating girl but I'm clueless...
Posted: 8/12/2008 5:41:42 AM
Sounds like normal old fashioned dating, the way it used to be before the internet dating boom that seems to leave everyone somewhat disillusioned and confused.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 6
Dating girl but I'm clueless...
Posted: 8/12/2008 6:49:57 AM
Have you slept with her? How old is she? Has she indicated that she would like more than just once a week? Has she indicated that she likes you?

Dude, the reality is that you're going so slow that you could have a potential partner or a potential "just friends" so it is time to start defining where it is going or it will go nowhere. And if you wait and wait, at the point when you want to cross into real lovers, you are going to get the rude awakening of her telling you "I love you, but not that way, we're just friends."

So dude, unless you define where it's going. It's going nowhere.
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 7
view profile
Dating girl but I'm clueless...
Posted: 8/12/2008 10:32:45 AM

I think at this point, if you want to date her exclusively you just need to say it. "Hey, we've seen each other for a couple of months, and I'd like you to be my girlfriend, what do you think about that?"

And see what she says.

If you are taking things this slow, she may be waiting for the exclusivity before the sex, but YOU need to make the move. Have the talk, create a romantic environment, and see if that sexual chemistry is there. (if there's no other reasons for waiting for the physical relationship)

And if you aren't seeing anyone else, nor want to, why not just jump in, if that's what you want.

She's told you she wants you to take the lead, so do it.
And I'd suggest not waiting around, you WILL end up in the "friend zone" otherwise.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Dating girl but I'm clueless...