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 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 145
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONESPage 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Rickymonch,
I took the liberty of viewingf your profile and have some comments if you want them. First off the asian chick in the pic is hot maybe you could fix me up. lol
You have many interesting interests. And the nice guy look. You should be able to pick up a decent woman but maybe not on dating sites. Then again maybe. I have found no keepers. They all want long term after 2 dates. Yes you can get the same drama nomatter if the girl is hot or homely. It has no bearing. Dont settle for anyone that you are not attracted to or your eyes will start to wander. I am trying to find the right one for me and I know I can be picky but I'm the one that will have to eventually live with that person and her me.

Join a gym and shed the few extra pounds and become a sexual tyranasauras, just like me.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 146
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:20:58 AM
I want so bad to tell you the answers you seek but then again every guy on here will be usining my lines and there can be only one.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 150
view profile
History
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/18/2008 3:30:30 PM
You just keep trying no matter what people say.
I message all types of women on here-- gals from 21 - 48.
I may not get a lot of replies, but what the hey, just have fun. You won't know unless you try and based on your original post, you at least keep trying to attract women. So just keep doing what you do, learn from past mistakes and enjoy life!
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 153
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:19:59 PM
OP I am amazed. I retract my apology for being so harsh to you as you continue to verbally abuse anyone that isn't offering sympathy to you.

This thread is about you wanting attention and to be able to whine and moan and talk trash to women here because you feel safe behind your computer. You refer to understanding the guys who did the Columbine High and Virginia Tech shootings. And if you despise the western culture so much then go somewhere else, if you say you love it as you do then why keep slamming it?

It is so obvious by all your posts not just here but in all the threads you comment in what your problems are. YOU are the problem, your attitude, your blame game thing, your refusing to hear anything that might help you (and patting you on the shoulder and saying poor poor opie I understand, them mean ole gals ect. is NOT helping you, it only allows you to keep wallowing in your misery.

###########################################
Why hasn't this thread been deleted for so many different reasons, I don't know. It certainly needs to be since this is such a DTD topic as well as attention seeking, trolling, baiting, flaming and so many other thread posting violations.
 canusatisfymoi
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 155
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:52:30 PM
If you dont think the guy is not good looking enough to date then just tell him. No need to have excuses or tell him what to do. I've been reading through some of the post, and he may seem hard headed but is a good guy. Some ladies will just love to give advice on how to change things, but in reality they don't practice what they preach. Why bother to give someone advice, but yourself don't think he's dateable. Its like most of these post are telling him what to do, but put yourself into one of the ladies that he's trying to ask out. Do you think you would date him if he did exactly the things you told him. I'm pretty sure some of these ladies just giving you advice, but they themselve won't date you if they were one of the ladies that you ask out. Its just how it is man. Don't give up and just continue to be yourself. Look at it this way would you really want to change another person perspective or preference to date you. I know I wouldnt because in the long run she would probably go back to her own self.

I know its tough, but hopefully you get the person you want some day. I know its shallow that some people just look from you on the outside and make a decision whether they want to date you or not. Who needs them anyway if they're like that. I'm happy being by myself but sometime I miss being with someone. If you think of it though its just a bunch of drama. I'f you can't find the one, then be happy with yourself. Have fun with your family or go do some volunteer work. At the end of the day loneliness stills hit u, but not as much though. Keep your head up man.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 156
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:53:01 PM
In general, it is a bad game plan to outpunt your coverage, if you know what I mean...
 canusatisfymoi
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 157
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/18/2008 8:57:08 PM
You saying he trying to go pass his league?
 SweetnSassyNatureLover
Joined: 4/11/2008
Msg: 159
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:53:25 AM

If you dont think the guy is not good looking enough to date then just tell him. No need to have excuses or tell him what to do. I've been reading through some of the post, and he may seem hard headed but is a good guy. Some ladies will just love to give advice on how to change things, but in reality they don't practice what they preach. Why bother to give someone advice, but yourself don't think he's dateable. Its like most of these post are telling him what to do, but put yourself into one of the ladies that he's trying to ask out. Do you think you would date him if he did exactly the things you told him. I'm pretty sure some of these ladies just giving you advice, but they themselve won't date you if they were one of the ladies that you ask out.


canusatisfymoi - if you read through the entire thread you might have a little more of an understanding of where some of 'these women' are coming from. Many have offered him very good advice - it is NOT based on being shallow. Who is shallow??? His own friend said he is only going after the pretty ones. Not shallow???

It is based on his frickin bad attitude. When some have pointed out he might need to look into those area's he has thrown some pretty hateful and disgusting remarks at them. With his venomous attitude why would a female want to date him?? You try putting yourself in a females shoes, take in how he is communicating and say whether YOU"D date him or not?? For goodness sake he was relating himself to the Columbine High and Virginia Tech shooters!!! What the heck is that?? Would you recommend a girl to date that???

The OP posted on a public forum asking for advice, he got it. The ones that he didn't like he became downright ugly with. That is an indicator to women that if he behaves like that w/people he doesn't even know, what would he do with a gf who didn't agree with him?? Read the entire thread and pay attention.

But go ahead, pat him on the back, encourage his bad behavior and see how helpful that is for him. As Renassaince man said, look in the mirror. It's not his looks or where he lives or whatever else he thinks is making him miserable, it's his own behavior and attitude.
 canusatisfymoi
Joined: 1/26/2008
Msg: 160
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/19/2008 1:03:04 AM
Ok if his own friend say he's going for the pretty ones only what does it mean? Do I assume that she's one of the pretty one or average? If she's the pretty one then isn't that shallow to tell your own friend he's only going for the pretty one. Didn't she say she will only be friends with him? I doubt she consider herself average because if she was wouldn't that be irrelevant to tell him he only go after pretty ones. She could of gone out with him if she consider herself the averege looking lady.
You say if I were to be in one of the woman shoes that he ask out, would I go out with him. I think I would if I was that woman, and he does all the things you ladies told him he should do. However, the point I'm trying to say is some not all of the ones that give him advice only try to come by as not being shallow. You know kind of like a disguise or a closet racist. They say things to make them look better or do things as if they were in the same group. In reality what they say and do is two different things.
Well whatever I don't care thats just my opinion after reading some of the post. I think one lady say whatever you do or say you can't change my preference. Then why bother telling the guy all the advice in the first place?

Oh yeah please don't say I'm patting him on the back. You act as if this was a game, and I'm his teammate or something. I'm just speaking my opinion. People take this internet stuff to seriously its a forum guys.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 163
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/19/2008 3:44:28 AM
I have to call it like I see it. Some women in here gave him hidden critisism and digs. Nothing helpfull. I think they were pointing out what was missing in their life. I wont mention names but I can say that just from some posts I see major red flags and would feel bad for whoever they settle down with. ooohhh. wow. Some were trying to break him down not help him. The shame. Then again some feel no shame. And his fault was taking the bait.


cardsandchips that line is from night patrol and you butchered it. Now if there's anything else it will have to wait. Need my beauty sleep.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 164
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/19/2008 9:16:11 PM
Was the fonze abusive to women? Think your wrong in some ways. I seen an interesting show not to long ago. A psychiatrist was giving his under age cliants tea and doing the R word to them. I wonder if how he justified that. It was a true story. He probably spealed a lot of mumbo jumbo also. What I am hearing is a jealouse man of men who pick up women easy.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 167
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:00:05 AM
He left the site. Hope the people who put him down feel good about themselves. Some people were on the right track but others tried to make him feel worse.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 168
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/21/2008 4:23:58 AM
^^^He's left before, I'm sure he'll be back...he was taking a break from the site to improve himself, and may have come back prematurely anyway. Hey the forums (much like life) is a tough place; you post here you have to be able to take it.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 169
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/21/2008 10:07:02 PM
djchickie401 since we are on the subject we should go out sometime. Your eyes are some of the best I've ever seen.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 171
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:10:40 PM
nice to see you back.
 RoughAsGuts
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 174
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History
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:03:47 PM
To the OP. You have gotten so many different viewpoints on your current dilemma. So far from all the 8 pages I have read, lateef and DJ give some of the best insights.

You asked a few pages back that you want to know how not to fall into the friendsonly category with pretty ladies, but you have completely overlooked lateefs winning advice on how to exactly avoid this. He practically gave you a step by step guide on what to do. Having dated women since my teens and travelled extensively throughout the world seen women of all walks of life, I KNOW his approach works. Any seasoned guy in the dating scene worth his salt will attest to this, it is all about personality, class and self belief. All your psychology has to change, so far your caught in a revolving door. And everything you put focus on at this point in time is only reinforcing that core belief you carry from day to day.

I really suggest you read what lateef wrote on page 5. I sympathise with your quest, but if you really want to make some headway then you have to look at your core focus and what your nice guy idealogy is all about and challenge it from top to bottom. Then and only then will you discover what keeps you from getting where you want to be. DJ is also right about not allowing personal happiness completely hinge upon validation from others. It must stem from at least some degree of self worth and self respect.

Anyways good luck in your plight friend.
 RoughAsGuts
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 177
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YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/24/2008 5:30:09 AM
RichiRick, you make it sound like you were the hapless victim in all that.

First of all anyone with any sense of direction in their own affairs, would have stopped those selfish requests to be her fall guy. Seems you were her fulltime fall guy if what you stated happened to you. Even being a friend doesnt entitle someone male or female to put you on call for whenever they have a crisis. Its called being an adult. Of course if your in the business of babysitting then its a whole different kettle of fish. But I hold myself to some basic rules of engagement, much like Lateef.

I have plenty of friends that are girls, and even they know Im not going to come running when their friend with benefits makes them feel lousy or for a shoulder to cry on. They also know that I dont desire them in that way, which is why we are friends. If I did, they would have accepted my advances or they'd be somewhere else well away from me. Sometimes being rejected is the best gift a stranger can give, because if women were more crafty and insincere she could always use you in so many ways while maintaining the illusion she's into you. Better for a man to be rejected and know where he stands, than to forever hold onto wishful thinking and subjugate themselves to some contrived semi friendship in the hopes of winning her over with self pity and relentless persistence.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 178
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:04:35 AM
^^^I agree totally with RoughAsGuts on this.

The most prevalent problem with so called "nice guys" is that they meet women they like and instead of establishing them as either girlfriends and dating them or strangers and walking away, they fall into a place where they know they're not mutually (lemme repeat....mutually) attractive to her, but hope she'll fall for him in time, or they're afraid to find out if she's interested because they secretly fear she isn't....they don't know when to cut their losses and move on.

What you need to do is be friends with women you're not attracted to, and not be friends with women who you are attracted to but aren't interested unless you can handle them telling you about other guys, complaining to you about their problems, and (I don't blame people for this really) becoming accustomed to you catering to her in an effort to win her affections. That all comes with a friendship that YOU agree is ok when asked...simply, if you don't want to do all that, then you'd tell them "no thanks" when they say "lets be friends", no?

Chances are they're not purposely using you so much as assuming that you're just generous and friendly and not trying to win them over. After all, you already know they're not interested, so why else would you do all you do for them? Most people aren't going to assume you'll get a direct indication of non interest and still hold out hope; and if you don't set boundaries, then you get what you get.

Sorry.
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 179
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:16:06 AM

that does not work...cause a lot of times..the women I find gorgeous see me as an innocent teddy bear, which means I end up being their friend only .....see!! a normal man's life is not the same as a normal lady's life, we have to get over mountains and spiky roads to try to get a lady's attention. And once if we do get attention!! we run the risk of being rejected and being turn down. THEN!! due to the way the western idea of a men should be, we never show our character or how hurt we are. And if we do! we are looked at as cry babies and should stop crying, by women..the one sex that a lot of us guys are trying to get attentions from. so no!! I can try that, but i risk getting hurt and rejected. I go for average cute any day than gorgeous.


You have society all confused. The people who look down on you for crying or see you as a "cry baby" is other men. Not women. This messed up society was built by men in general and has been slowly changing. Women will always tell you to be yourself. If shedding a tear is being yourself then by all means shed a tear.
 DreamDancer44
Joined: 2/19/2008
Msg: 180
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:24:14 AM

While it's pointless to limit yourself and go after women, who you don't find attractive, for all the reasons he mentioned, you also have to factor that it won't work, unless she, likewise finds you attractive. Writing to 20 year old supermodels is a losing strategy.

There should be those women, who you see as attractive, but also know from past experience, you could reasonably anticipate might find you attractive also.

Using the old numbering system, if experience tells you that you can attract a "7", you won't be happy with a "4", but you are unlikely to get a positive reaction from a "9".


Renaissance Man 1950, just gave you your blunt and complete answer in a few sentences. This IS what your friend was trying to tell you in so many words and it's something that should be implanted in every mans brain. I see SO many guys go after females who they pretty much know won't be attracted to them yet go after them anyway. You need to go after females who are more likely to be attracted to you.
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 183
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:38:52 PM
This is just one opinion but many women told me when a guy cries and begs (over the woman) the woman loses all respect for them. They will say be yourself however they mean that if it doesnt have to do with them. I believe this and have seen first hand my ex do it. She would actually get happy and more self confident when I was upset over her and when i had a rare good feeling about myself it made her insecure. It was a sick pathetic game she was playing(never would admit it) but now she is single and is probably finding out she made a mistake when she dates. Cause they aint me. And I had to get away from her to realize any self worth I had. I tried to quote dreamdancer and it didnt work so this is meant for her as well as you.

[You have society all confused. The people who look down on you for crying or see you as a "cry baby" is other men. Not women. This messed up society was built by men in general and has been slowly changing. Women will always tell you to be yourself. If shedding a tear is being yourself then by all means shed a tear. ]
 caesar0002
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 185
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:45:31 AM
the heart goes where the heart goes.
 irieone
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 187
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History
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:25:03 PM
Man geturmindright.com- read this book and it will change your outlook. One of these guys has it right- it is in your mind- start with your thoughts. Then they will throw themself at you. You cannot compromise down and that is what you are doing- tell her cool we can be friends- you know why she said that- it is because you are not actingh like her last boyfriend.
 05magnum
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 189
YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:32:00 PM
Jb300
Well, I can say this about You, the only thing U ever replied to me is that U never rode anyone on e the back> of your bike U never ask me what kind of bike I HAVE.
I think U Are Self Centered And Egotisical, and i wonder how U give advice that U don..t PrA c T i C e
Thomas
 WhatTheHell4
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 191
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YOU'RE JUST GOING AFTER THE PRETTY ONES
Posted: 8/28/2008 3:47:56 PM
Amen, champrin. Best advice I read on this thread.

Unfortunately, sites like this one promote physical attraction by default. If you're searching or matching, you see pics. Your first attraction is going to be physical. And the way many people write their profiles, there's often not a lot of information. So it's pretty much a beauty contest from the start.

The thing is, OP, that it has to be about more than looks. I don't know when the women are deciding that it's just gonna be platonic with you, but if it's early on (before they really get to know you), it's one of a handful of things- they may not find you attractive, they may not like your personality, they may have baggage, they may want different things for their life. If they are giving you a chance before going platonic, you're passing the physical part of the test.

I have to say, in all honesty, that while I sympathize with your problem, I found this discussion fairly annoying. (The rude comments were unnecessary.) Nine pages devoted to helping you, and what did you learn? Anything new? Maybe you need to take a step back and reread the opinioons of people you DISAGREE with. Stop arguing with the opposite point of view, stop rationalizing your position, and pay attention to what's being said. After all, you asked for the answers- now you have to figure out who answered you BEST, not who agreed with you most.

And by the way, the pretty ones are just as smart and funny as the average ones. And the average ones sparkle just as brightly as the pretty ones. When you come to terms with what you're REALLY looking for, the process will take care of itself.

Good luck.
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