Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 1best_woman
Joined: 2/20/2012
Msg: 137
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
YOU ask YOU pay. IF you dont want to pay DONT ASK. Just that simple.


I disagree. If a man insists on paying, I would let him. But I don't expect him to pay because he asked or "traditional" gender roles.


Whay ever happened to the planner of the date paying?


Usually for the first few dates I have with a man, both of us would plan the details of the date.
 specialk1962
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 138
view profile
History
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/26/2012 6:50:08 PM
I guy in a club offered to buy me a drink after a couple of dances. I said sure and thanks. I ordered what I had been drinking all night. He went to the bar and come back with the drink. It looked like my usual but tasted awful. I told him the bartender gave him the wrong thing. He told me it was the right thing. He ordered me a different drink because my usual was too expensive. I did not drink it, he did. I even danced with him one more time. But I think he showed a lack of class. He should either not have offered or told me up front that it was not within his budget. I would have bought my own drink. As I ended up doing anyway. Thoughts?
 Halcyon_Skies
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 140
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/26/2012 7:04:42 PM
I guy in a club offered to buy me a drink after a couple of dances. I said sure and thanks. I ordered what I had been drinking all night. He went to the bar and come back with the drink. It looked like my usual but tasted awful. I told him the bartender gave him the wrong thing. He told me it was the right thing. He ordered me a different drink because my usual was too expensive. I did not drink it, he did. I even danced with him one more time. But I think he showed a lack of class. He should either not have offered or told me up front that it was not within his budget. I would have bought my own drink. As I ended up doing anyway. Thoughts?


He could have slipped a date-rape drug into your drink. For safety reasons, I wouldn't accept a drink from anyone unless it's brought over by a bartender or a waiter. It's best to buy your own drinks.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 141
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/26/2012 8:42:47 PM

And my daddy always picked up the check. He took excellent care of my mother. I think he would dig his way out his grave and show up at the table if I were fighting to pay for a man's meal.


azul14:
^^^ My dad always paid and would do the same. In fact, he was overly generous and would buy everyone a drink whether he knew them or not... He would be insulted if a woman offered to pay... I can remember getting my money out, and him saying "put your money away"!


That's all fine and dandy if you live in an area where you can survive on one income. Many areas for years has taken two incomes to get by. It didn't matter if I paid or my late wife paid a tab, as it came out of the same joint pot, where both of our paychecks went.

If you want to go back to those days, don't complain when a man gets paid more money than you do. If you want equal pay for equal work, then you get all the rest of being equal too. Fat chance of that, you want the good parts of equality, but don't want the responsibilities that go with it.
 runningout
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 142
view profile
History
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 7:11:26 AM

So what the F is a "true woman" supposed to do when a man says he'd like to take her on a date? Fist fight him for the check?


I don't know if I am a "true woman" or not but when I go out with anyone to eat be it m/f/or family, I speak up and say "Seperate bills please before I place my order" unless it has been specifically discussed that I am being treated.

This notion that a man should automatically pay is very backwards. I most definitely dont need a man to pay for my food or entertainment. To those that believe the man should pay I ask you this "On a homosexual date, who pays since they are both men?"
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 143
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 8:51:39 AM

The way the rule works:
YOU ask YOU pay. IF you dont want to pay DONT ASK. Just that simple.

The rest of that rule is:
If ASKED, you OFFER to pay your share.

I'll judge a woman's social grace by whether or not she offers and how she handles herself when I decline the offer. Women aren't the only ones making judgments about their dates. I expect a woman to know how to act gracefully in a social setting.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 144
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:01:46 PM
You are a fool to go for dinner on a first meet. Why not just drinks and see how it goes?? Dont complain, no one forced you to do it. If you had so many dates and none worked out, I wonder why and so should you. What sort of restaurants do you frequent that you paid out $14,000. I think you are kind of padding for taxation purposes myself, bragging or just lying. .
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 145
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:24:36 PM
How did I miss this beauty! Ahhh expenses/experiences.


"I don't get why men gripe about spending so much money when they have/had a choice in who to date."

See this is the comment of the a typical myopic woman. It really speaks to most of the women on this site. They can never see, or actually never want to see the problem in toto. It has to be their way or the highway.

It remind me of the teeth gnashing we get when women who are heavy, unattractive or have kids, bytch and moan, the guys they want, don't want them. THEN the women get it, then they can see a problem, not when the guy has a problem.

Are there cheap guys, yeah sure. Are there confused guys, but the fukin truck load.

Why do todays modern(alledgedly)woman, want to embrace a paradigm for dating that is from the 50's or 60's? Old fashioned? C'mon, it isn't old fashioned, face it, it's CHEAPNESS!!

Men DO get a choice in who to date, but not how to date. No different than those women I cited, who have problems attracting the men they want, men have a problem when women say one thing but do another.

A guy attracted to a certain woman, wants to date her, he has no idea what her attitudes are on paying. She starts off all warm and friendly, things seem to be going in the right direction, then when dutch comes up, she dumps him like a hot potatoe.

Not because she wsn't attracted, or he was dull and boring, or had bad habits. But because her perception is he's cheap.

"Why is it so hard to own your actions?"

So then turn about is fair play, why can't women just admit they are the ones who are CHEAP? And own their actions.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 146
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:41:49 PM

This notion that a man should automatically pay is very backwards.


 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 148
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 12:49:30 PM

What sort of restaurants do you frequent that you paid out $14,000.


Eating at fancier restaurants such as Morton's or Ruth's Chris could easily add up to $14, 000.00 per year.

 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 149
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 1:00:13 PM
If one dated, once a week, at $100 a pop(not that hard to do) over the course of 2 years your cost would be $10,400! Some of us date more often than that. In another thread I used a number of 6 dates a month, even that can be low.

This totally discounts, movies, concerts(which I do alot, springsteen coming to atlanta in march), and other venues.

You can feel free to call bullsh1t, all you want or call men liars. It depends on the income you have and the life you lead.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 150
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 1:02:14 PM

You guys do realize how simple it is to not have to pay, right?


Yes.


Don't date.


No. Just go on free dates.

 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 152
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 1:13:15 PM
Something about free dates like a walk in the park sound rather boring as all get out just saying.


In my area (Southern California), you could go on 100 free dates a year on nothing but gas money, and none of them have to be walks in the park.

 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 153
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 1:33:54 PM
This is just a game that is played through
various threads in this forum. People only
complain about paying or not paying when
they don't like the person they went out with.
No one comes in here and says I'm wicked
bummed about the person I met last night!
I liked everything about them but they wouldn't
pay for the check! waaaaaaaaa

Most adults don't fight over checks. Guys
pay, women offer to pay, guys accept or
reject offers, women says she'll get the next
one...that's how it works in my world. I don't
accept offers of dinners or drinks unless I'm
able to pay for myself. I also expect to pay when
I'm doing the inviting, which yes I do on a regular
basis.

I can't believe there are so many starving women
in here that constantly accept dates from
men they aren't really interested in meeting just
for the free food. But I hear it happens.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 154
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 2:05:52 PM
"People only complain about paying or not paying when they don't like the person they went out with."

Perhaps there is some truth in this. Though when the idea "the guy pays" is followed, and they meet and it's a bust for both. Who's the worse for wear, the person who paid, or the person who went home and said "that was disappointing, oh well I have XXX for tomorrow night, he will pick up the tab as well"?

"No one comes in here and says I'm wicked bummed about the person I met last night! I liked everything about them but they wouldn't pay for the check!"

Awww, c'mon now boo, you have been on these forums far too long, to assert that! I have read this over and over and over, "he didn't pay, there will be no second date"!! Yeah occassionally they will throw in his tie was too wide, he was wearing the wrong colonge, or whatever other justification lets them sleep at night.

The bottom line wasn't him, it was his not picking up the check. It's an automatic with many women.

For all women, who say, I offer, or I pay no matter what he says, or whatever statement like that, thank you, you see the fairness in the issue. You however are wayyyy in the minority.

Seperately, let me say, I have enjoyed almost all dates! Yeah my picker can make a mistake, but on the whole, most have been an enjoyable experience. Let me throw in a caveat, I don't shotgun emails, I am selective in who I write to. If her pictures and profile intrigued me enough to write her, if my emails and phone calls with her, encouraged me to meet her, why would I be disappointed in meeting someone I found interesting?

Yes, sometimes the chemistry for more is lacking, that can be a bit of a let down. I can still spend a couple of hours, engaging an interesting and attractive woman, who I thought was interesting BEFORE I met her! You cannot have expectations of anything before meeting IRL, you can expect however if you are both interested in some of the same things, to have a lively conversation about things you love and enjoy! That's half the fun of dating...well at least to me.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 156
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 2:10:05 PM
Domo, don't forget to see the cemetary! The one from the movie "midnight in the garden of good and evil" Actually Savannah is the crown jewel of Georgia, IMO.
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 158
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 2:19:04 PM
the original poster of this thread was playing a game.
why couldnt he have told her upfront that he would like to split the bill or have separate checks?
sounds as if he was even offering her drinks...as in....what would you like to have sweetheart? sure..have one if you would like.

made it sound as if he were treating her.
on the other hand....I would never go and order the most expensive drinks when somoene I do not know asks me out.
I only accepted that from a long time boyfreind who offered me the drinks and wanted to pay for them.

dating has changed and i think it only fair to talk about it before the date, or at least before ordering.

that was definately a game played by the op.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 159
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 2:56:03 PM
If a man dates a woman and she expects him to wine and dine her and he is not comfortable with that but continues to pay all the time, he is choosing to date her. When he gripes about how she made him spend so much money, etc. he is not owning his actions. He is blaming her for something that he chose to do.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 160
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 3:06:21 PM
I gree w/ KaiLainia...it was a game...a nasty game at that, too
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 161
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:00:28 PM
Hahahahaha!! Thanks for that Kalina, I just joined the end of the thread, I read the last page and a half. I didn't read the OP, before you mentioned it! Hahahaha!

Being a NYC guy for most of my life, I get it more than you do!

When I worked on the street, we would meet up at the local watering hole, to blow off some steam. Sometimes it was just a guys night out, we would have dinner at Bobby Van's or hop over the bridge to Peter Luger's.

When we dated, we would each have our favorites. I loved to take a date to the Water Club, good food, great romantic view of the river.

Now when the ladies came up with suggestions, it was never a $$ or $$$, it was Nobu, Aquavit, Elaine's or some $$$$ eatery. If you asked them how often they went there, it was "well once in a while", which translated to NEVER! Hahahahaha!

They were all about the Steak and Brew, the local pizza joint, or the local chinese place on their dime. But on MY dime, the sky was the limit!

Now not to give you the wrong impression, there were some amazing women, who I dated and had fun with. I dated one woman, in the same industry, we dated about 2 or 3 months, and it seemed to be failing. She was always busy, or I was traveling or busy. We just didn't seem to be seeing each other very much, I was about ready to pull the plug. It wasn't that I didn't like her, it was we seemed to be drifting away.

At any rate, one night she called me, and asked to meet. I figured it was the kiss off. Now remember I paid for most of the dates, but she did reciprocate from time to time. Well I go to the meet, we sit down in Harry's and we order a drink.

She looked me straight in the eye and said "hey, I have been sooo busy with this banking deal, we have had no time together", I agreed, so then she said "why don't we get away this weekend and see where we're at?" Then she handed me 2 first class airline tickets to NOLA, and showed me a reservation for us at the Bourbon Orleans hotel for the weekend!!

So no, by all means, some women are far from cheap, or users. Though some DO want to live a life of luxury on a fella's dime. It can get old, feeling like your somebody's ATM.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 162
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:02:42 PM
If a man dates a woman and she expects him to wine and dine her and he is not comfortable with that but continues to pay all the time, he is choosing to date her. When he gripes about how she made him spend so much money, etc. he is not owning his actions. He is blaming her for something that he chose to do.


I can only speak for myself, but I don't continue to date someone who doesn't offer to pay her share. Three dates is about my limit, if a woman doesn't offer to help with the tab by that time we're done. I don't say anything, I just don't call her again. No matter how attractive I found her.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 164
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:07:30 PM
I agree. Im barely making it but every date I have had lately has claimed they forget their wallet. Minus one or two guys. Im like really grow up. It gets frustrating. If a guy wants to pay fine if not We can go dutch.


What you should do is call the waitress over for the check, then give her enough to cover your half. Lastly, ask the guy how he's going to pay his half. If he doesn't have the money, he can wash dishes.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 165
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 4:17:39 PM
Domo, your welcome for the tip!

I agree with paderic, sorry but I don't think I have forgotten my wallet more than twice in 15 years, and NEVER once in my life on a date.

In fact, that kinda makes me laugh a little, at times I can be a little OCD. Well just in regards to that very issue. I will get dressed for the date, after I put on my pants, the first thing I do is put my wallet in my pocket. Then the shirt, check the pants to make sure the wallet is there, then the colonge, check the pants to see I have the wallet, shoes..repeat..keys in pocket, check for wallet, then into the car, and before I sit down check for the wallet.

I never do that EXCEPT when I'm going on a date.
 KatWing123
Joined: 3/6/2011
Msg: 167
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/27/2012 10:30:02 PM
The OP's story is dispicable. I cringed with every sentence. Why would you play a game like that?! I agree that dating is expensive and that women shouldn't assume that the bill is covered by the guy. I always carry enough cash on me to cover my own expense - but I also drink bud light, and not top shelf anything. However, you are quite a sneaky MF'er to NOT communicate the bill/paying beforehand.
 smilingrock
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 168
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/28/2012 1:51:45 AM

I DECIDED TO NEVER PAY FOR A FIRST DATE AGAIN. How did I do this? First I*
adopted the mindset that a girl should naturally assume she's paying for*
herself. Now this wasn't easy at first but I quickly got used to it. Then*
when going into the bar/restaurant/lounge etc. I would hand the server a*
credit card and ask them to open tabs for us.*
HEY!-Did you catch that? I said 'TABS.' Yah, don't worry at least 95% of the*
girls I meet miss that one too. Just to make sure I usually confirm that the*
server has understood me too. I do this when the date rudely answers her*
cell phone or is in the bathroom (probably using her cell phone). Guys, you*
know the MasterCard "priceless" series of commercials? Well, let me tell*
you, you won't understand the meaning of 'priceless' until you see one of*
these girls handed their own check for 3 20$ martinis and overpriced food*
(that they would probably never buy on their own). It's also very relaxing*
to*
encourage the girl to eat and drink up because even at 20$ a pop for exotic*
gooey blender drinks I could care less how many of them she has - cause*
SHE'S PAYING


He opened seperate tabs and the date just went on ordering and ordering. Not her money so she assumed. LOL
Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  >