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 Goldentyga117
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 195
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.Page 5 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
For a first date i almost always choose to do something that costs nothing. Why ? because i had been on too many dates where i paid for everything and the girl acted all interested in me and everything and then after a nice free meal *POOF* disappeared like i never existed. **** that.

I'm a nice guy but i sure as hell am NOT a walking free meal ticket. I don't feel like wasting my time or money on people who don't deserve it. I find out probably within the first 5 mins of meeting someone whether or not they're worth it. You don't get any special treatment just because you have a vagina. It's so nauseating at the amount of crap women these days think they're entitled to yet they rarely reciprocate in kind.

21st century ladies...you have you own money and jobs and cars. USE THEM !

Also Oyvay..

I didn't read those responses from those women...but people like that disgust me ! they're the same type of women that will go on and on about how they don't want a guy who plays mind games too...what a joke
 DRFK
Joined: 2/4/2012
Msg: 196
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 6:27:04 PM
What percentage of your yearly income was the $14k?????????
THAT's what I wanna know....If you're Trump......it's a pittance,,,,etc,,,
 Fleuron
Joined: 8/18/2010
Msg: 197
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 6:34:08 PM
For “some” older men who advocate “equal” dating expenses AND dating decades younger, wake up. Young women ain’t gonna date old guys who don’t pay. That is beyond delusional.
 largo2
Joined: 12/13/2011
Msg: 198
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 6:49:32 PM
You know, I never really thought much about this issue. But then I hadnt dated in ages, and back then it seemed we all paid for ourselves, or threw money in according to who had some.
If someone invites me out, I guess I expect they would pay. But, I didnt take into account the dynamics of internet dating, where so little is known about the other person. After reading all these various threads, I think I would just rather pay for myself all the time no matter what, at least on first dates.

I was pretty disgusted by a lot of what I read on this thread.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 199
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 6:50:30 PM

That is beyond delusional.


Almost as delusional as finding a 25ish female that actually wants a relationship and not just a FWB.



Or almost as delusional as thinking a man actually can be successful in dating without laying out money, as much as I talk about WANTING to pay, the future is pretty bleak if I don't WANT to pay.
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 200
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 7:51:47 PM
I have had men refuse to meet me unless we meet for DRINKS. I suggest coffee he will refuse, saying he would rather meet for drinks. When I state I would rather we meet for coffee he says never mind. This has occurred more than once...... NOW not only, will he request we meet for drinks but I HAVE to pay for HIM to attempt to get me drunk in order to increase HIS chances of getting laid???? WHAT is next I have to provide my own penis???
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 201
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 8:39:24 PM
Well as for "older men"...some want younger, some want much younger..some want somebody with morals and a pulse! From my POV, all the "advice" women seem to have, none really solves the problem.

As for "meet for drinks", well that is easy enough to answer. Meet him at the bar in a restaurant, he orders a drink, you order coffee, if that's your preference. If you know that all he wants is to get you drunk, from my POV, why meet him at all?

If getting laid is all this is about, then go for someone you find sexy, and have a fling!

Ladies it's all up to you really. Just like some of you said, the guy shouldn't date you if he wants not to pay. Then date the guys who pay, but don't come bytchin on this thread that all he wanted was to get laid. Simple huh?

One more time for those of you in the cheap seats(pun intended for the women), if a relationship is what you want, then why not pick up your end of finding one? It benefits both, they find happiness, and everyone chips in a little to do it.
 36_Julietta_52
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 202
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:15:00 PM
My philosophy:

First few dates: Whoever asked the other out should pay. I have asked guys out and refuse to let them pay.

If you start to see each other quite regularly, it's only fair that they take turns. Splitting the bill is always a bit awkward, in my own opinion.
 N0wOrNever
Joined: 11/11/2011
Msg: 203
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 9:51:33 PM
I think on an initial date especially an Internet date, that the first one should be just for a couple of drinks. On future dates if two people really like each other then it's also fair if the woman pays once in a while. It's a judgement call with me. I like the idea of her at least offering even though I will pick up the tab anyway. What bothers me is this sense of entitlement that a lot of women have that they shouldn't have to pay. To me that's a "ME ME ME" type of person and that's the kind of woman I don't want to be with. So it's a great test to see if a woman offers. That tells me a lot about what kind of person they are.
 Goldentyga117
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 205
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 2/29/2012 10:55:14 PM
Entitlement that we don't have to pay ? how do guys think that it's an entitlement ? unless you mean that guys are expecting the woman to pay for both of them..then that's just equally bad.

But expecting that for a first date *unless explicitly stated otherwise* that you're either going to split the bill or pay for yourself isn't entitlement i think it's just respectful. Why should a guy be expected to pay just because the other person has a vagina....that's just as ridiculous as if i said "well since i paid for your dinner you have to have sex with me".

Not paying doesn't have any upsides for us except for the hope that maybe the other party isn't stuck in the 50's...and it's a HUGE relief when they don't have that sense of entitlement.

On the other hand women will often act very interested in the guy until dinner is over and then they just disappear...but hey they got a free meal and drinks out of it right
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 206
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 1:06:04 AM
Since men want to act like women, then I say ACT LIKE women boys. You want me to pay for your meal then I expect you too look damn good when I see you. YOU need to get your chubby ass to the gym and work off that beer gut. I will not accept a balding guy. Grey hair??? REALLY you need to see your colorist about that. Excessive body hair waxing is going to be fun. AND NO I will not accept you showing up in your nice comfortable jeans. OH NO. You think I am going to pay to sit and look at some old geezer gum his food???? REALLY?? NO we want hot young guys with great bodies. And will we talk about. NO SPORTS that is too manly. Impress me with your knowledge of the latest fashion, celerity news and knowledge of the arts. YOU need to read books on how to please me outside the bedroom.

IF you are going to be a woman BE women for real. Sit by the phone and wait for me to call. Dont let me hear you are even talking to someone else OR I WILL think you are a slut.
LOL you expect me to beautiful, independent, smart (not too smart, we wouldn't want to embarrassed you) sexy, enjoy all your actives and loyal while you are just a guy. Talk about having your cake and eating it too.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 207
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 5:53:10 AM
Since men want to act like women, then I say ACT LIKE women boys


Sexist much?


You want me to pay for your meal then


No one is asking you to pay for their meal, just to pitch in for your own meal.

I expect you too look damn good when I see you. YOU need to get your chubby ass to the gym and work off that beer gut. I will not accept a balding guy. Grey hair??? REALLY you need to see your colorist about that. Excessive body hair waxing is going to be fun. AND NO I will not accept you showing up in your nice comfortable jeans. OH NO. You think I am going to pay to sit and look at some old geezer gum his food???? REALLY?? NO we want hot young guys with great bodies.


1) Everyone should try to get their chubby ass to the gym, this has nothing to do with being female or male.
2) Hair is what it is, you being so vain about it really shows, I'm not bald or going grey, but what does this have to do with being male?
3) Body hair waxing is fun, thankfully I have minimal body hair, sucks for guys AND women that have excessive body hair.
4) Everyone should dress to impress, I've been on dates with women where they look like they're getting dressed up to go to walmart. Again, it has nothing to do with your gender.
5) It already seems like women want hot young guys with great bodies, but unlike you I'm not going to generalize and say that's what they actually want, but hey if there's cake on the table most people ARE going to eat the cake.


And will we talk about. NO SPORTS that is too manly. Impress me with your knowledge of the latest fashion, celerity news and knowledge of the arts. YOU need to read books on how to please me outside the bedroom.


1A)I don't enjoy the commercialized sports, but I don't think it's a matter of manliness, I know women that enjoy football,hockey,etc more than I do and it's their thing.
2A) I took fashion marketing for a long time, if you really want to talk fashion lets go.
3A)Celebrity news is garbage, it's not a gender thing to fill your head with that trash.
3A) OH really, you are knowledgeable about the arts? Tell me what your favorite piece is, no looking up how to spell it. How is being knowledgeable about the arts a woman thing? I go to art galleries all the time, I have male friends that are artists.



IF you are going to be a woman BE women for real. Sit by the phone and wait for me to call. Dont let me hear you are even talking to someone else OR I WILL think you are a slut.


I would sit by you and wait for you to call but I HATE playing games, and so do many women I know.Petty Passive Aggressive wait for them to call tactics is a waste of time and energy.

Talking to someone else WHILE you're in the presence of another person you're dating IS rude, it's not being a slut. It has nothing to do with being male or female and I've had women I've been on dates with think my texts from WORK are females. I'm sorry, I already muted my phone, I have to be on call, I've told you this 4-5 times before our first date that I might have to glance at my phone when it buzzes to ensure that the stores aren't burning down or being robbed



LOL you expect me to beautiful, independent, smart (not too smart, we wouldn't want to embarrassed you) sexy, enjoy all your actives and loyal while you are just a guy. Talk about having your cake and eating it too.


Talk about generalizations.

I expect you to be SMART(trust me, you'll never embarrass any decent guys by being "TOO" smart), independent, funny, and able to hold a conversation, and loyal.

Frankly I don't give a shit if you don't enjoy ALL of my activities.

Yea, I'm "just" a guy because that doesn't sound like we don't bring anything to the table.

Jesus christ on a pogo stick can you generalize more about what males and females are?

How about you try to balance a 40 hour week physical workload, 20 hour a week bills/accounting workload, 20 hours a week worth of charity events/fundraising for non-profits so that we can do some damn good in this world, then spend time to stay presentable, date, wine/dine people, check out art galleries, go to the gym, etc.

Yea, I'm just a "guy" and that takes like no work.

Equality, you really don't know what that actually entails do you?
 grove_22
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 208
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 7:28:24 AM

First few dates: Whoever asked the other out should pay. I have asked guys out and refuse to let them pay.


I think you are one of the exceptions though. Many women will never or rarely ask a man out. The ones that do often will only offer to go Dutch. Sometimes they still will expect a man to pay even though they asked. Only one woman offered to pay the entire date for me. That was because we went to a place that was only 5 minutes from where she lives and about 45 minutes from where I live.
 36_Julietta_52
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 209
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 7:39:51 AM
I know I am a bit of an exception. I tend to go for what I want. If I get rejected, well, at least I won't end up wondering "what if" down the line.

I simply view a date as an invitation, and so find it rude when somebody invites me to spend time with him and then expects me to pay (or vice versa).
 36_Julietta_52
Joined: 1/9/2012
Msg: 210
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:11:09 AM
^^ I prefer credat emptor...but maybe that's because I'm not yet jaded.
 ChadsFormerStandIn
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 211
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:11:57 AM
Ya, I'm in agreeance with you two above me here. You ask, you pay. But ya really, what guy has any problem paying taking a nice attracive woman out?

Any guy should also have a whole slew of cheap date ideas up his sleeve for a rainy, broke day. And those are often the fun ones too! Its not that hard dating within your means. Well, maybe it is if you're trying to reach too far up the ladder.
 bethesdafoodie
Joined: 1/2/2012
Msg: 212
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:26:05 AM

I simply view a date as an invitation, and so find it rude when somebody invites me to spend time with him and then expects me to pay (or vice versa).


See I have no problem with the person inviting paying.

But the problem arises when the woman never invites.


what guy has any problem paying taking a nice attracive woman out?


Depends, are we going out so that she can get a free meal and move on to the next guy?

There are users,abusers, and suckers; and then there are the rest of thus that are normal people that don't mind splitting checks every now and then and can sense when someone just wants to be around you for the free meals/drinks.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 213
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:26:45 AM

Ya, I'm in agreeance with you two above me here. You ask, you pay. But ya really, what guy has any problem paying taking a nice attracive woman out?


What does this mean?
Whether or not paying is an issue is directly related to the attractiveness of your
date?




 ChadsFormerStandIn
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 214
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:35:20 AM
^^^

Well yes, in a way it might be. Its not like you're going to go out on a date with someone you don't find attractive. If you asked, there was a reason right.

Do you do sympathy dates with those you don't find attractive? Don't try to nicely corner me on the attractive comment. No need. You know what I meant.

And Bethesdafoodie, do you really think women will date just for a free meal? I think there is something they are curious about finding out going into that date. If there isn't a second one, I don't know what to say.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 215
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:46:24 AM
I simply view a date as an invitation, and so find it rude when somebody invites me to spend time with him and then expects me to pay (or vice versa).


I tend to view a date as a glimpse of what's to come; when a woman proves herself to be a freeloader, she stops getting invitations.

I'm pretty cynical toward the, "he that does the inviting also does the paying," attitude. Because the majority of women never invite a man out, the guy always gets stuck with the tab.

Dating is not cheap. The notion that one party should always bear the expense is both asinine and archaic.
 ChadsFormerStandIn
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 216
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 8:56:09 AM
The only date I've had from this site was by her invite. It may never happen again, but it can. lol!

And dating isn't cheap always, but it also need not be as expensive as most men will make it out to be. Just takes an imagination.

I think we are scared of turning women off with the cheap adventurous date. Like it will give them a deep look into our psyches and then they'll run. And no, it isn't easy suggesting a date at the park to trip little children holding ice cream cones. But if you've done it before and your invite is authentic, almost any girl smiles and gets excited when you start describing the faces and doing the impressions. lol!
 Goldentyga117
Joined: 6/25/2011
Msg: 217
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:06:08 AM
^^^^^

See you'd think so right ? except no...on here women complain about a guy taking them on a free or cheap date. And say all sorts of nasty things about him for not taking her out and spending money on here. It's really ridiculous.
 ChadsFormerStandIn
Joined: 1/8/2012
Msg: 218
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:12:07 AM
Golden117, the only thing I've seen that was a complaint was some young girl complaining her date took her to a Wal-Mart. You and I would both **** if we were THAT poor girl.

I haven't really noticed it to be honest. I've never had a problem with it. My first dates aren't bank-breakers by any means. As long as two people are having fun, the money issue will never come up.
 OyVay...
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 219
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 9:48:53 AM
Chadster...correction: the young lady in question was ASKED on a date to walmart, she never went and complained about it(the 'WTF" thread currently closed for review).

RIPTIDE, all I can say is "your results may vary"!

By all means, as some of my stories on this thread shows, I have encountred both types, from the generous to the cheap. Unfortunately online dating is not like thumping a melon to see if it's ripe. Until you meet IRL, you have no idea what you have.
 SC67
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 220
Mens Dating Expenses/Dating Experiences.
Posted: 3/1/2012 10:43:06 AM
I thought Chad's suggestion was great (no WallyWorld please), but you guys shot it down. Let's see...you can't be upfront about Dutch 'cause she won't agree to date you. You can't do a cheap date 'cause she'll think you're cheap & won't date you. You can't do the one who asks pays 'cause women never ask.

Looks like you guys have a problem with no solution (that you helped create). I'm gonna go post on a "all men want is sex & we did it & now he's disappeared" thread & give up on this "all women want is a free dinner" whinefest.
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