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 Something Real 05
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 51
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I have learn in any relationship it takes time to heal, somethings you have to take two steps back and refocus to go forward. I have learned alot, I have my feet going in a forward direction. Life is a road with alot of detours, speed bumps, dead ends, and no direction now I have direction. Direction I choose is be a Dad, and have a smile. It has taken a long time to find two months of not knowing up or down and who I was. I am still working on this after opening my eyes. I do not live in the past just present and future.
 mudflap1979
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 52
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What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 9/27/2008 5:52:17 AM
How much hell your partner is willing to walk through beside you.
 Chuck R
Joined: 2/17/2008
Msg: 53
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What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 9/27/2008 1:33:41 PM
Great topic.
What defines depth to me is how we communicate and about what.
Is it just lots of small talk or really talking and LISTENING about each others day. their life, dreams. fears, fantasy, the past,goals, values, etc.
One thing that i try to do even when on a first date is ask questions about a woman, try to really learn something about what mekes her tick,,,,,but most important i look to see if and what type of questions she asks me back, is she sincerely wanting to know more?,,,,it really gives ne an idea if i want to know her better, does she have any desire and or abilty to let me in over time, to grow close over time,,,,,,,i know that doesnt happen overnite but i at least hope that SOME foundation is there to grow together on
If not eniter of us wasted a lot of time and we stiull both made a new friend.

Ohhhhh and that bit about sex or not being a benchmark i look at this way
If we both worry about really getting into each others head and heart, want and need to know each other, then our bodies will follow in their own good time and actually mean something.
 MissElaineESJones
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 54
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/9/2009 7:57:43 PM
It's Friday night, my favorite night of the week, and all my kids are out at the movies. So I have been feeling very introspective here in this quiet, old house and been surfing back through the old posts.

Gosh, what a difference time makes on one's life! I think about the concept of "depth of a relationship" and know from firsthand experience that one can think they are in deep while it is only deep in your spot in the sea of love. One party is splashing in the shallows playing and the other party is treading water, all the while thinking the other party is treading right alongside of them. What a shock it is! You are finally left standing there alone on the beach dripping wet trying to dry yourself with a towel the size of a washcloth. It really takes time to pat yourself dry from that swim.

Be very cautious about the depth of a relationship.
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 55
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/10/2009 5:58:13 AM
Two people talking about their lives together and working on maintaining the relationship. There may be bumps in the road for sure. The question is will the couple strive to overcome to maintain the love they share?
 surfergrlfly
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 56
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/23/2009 7:07:41 AM
Welll...here's what i see as the ingrediants for a lifelong relationship: Respect, Passion and Friendship....more than that...the ability to give more than 50%....unconditional love...wanting the BEST for that person always....(even if u are not together). Having the same goals and interests...Teamwork...working towards a future...and MOST importantly good communication and good sex.....
 JackRab
Joined: 10/15/2006
Msg: 57
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What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/23/2009 5:31:18 PM
MOST importantly good communication and good sex.....

oooooouh !! ^^^^^^
 surfergrlfly
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 58
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/23/2009 9:45:59 PM
Yes, jack, good communication makes for good sex and vice versa.....
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/24/2009 2:53:56 PM
I have to disagree... I have had good communication with men before and the sex was not that good... You still have to have some talent when it comes to sex... just my two cents worth...
 ~Lone Ranger~
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 60
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/24/2009 3:06:40 PM
^^^^^As the silent majority wait with anticipation where that comment will lead...
 surfergrlfly
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 61
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/24/2009 4:52:09 PM
Thanks LR...what I MEANT was good communication ABOUT sex...likes, dislikes, etc....THAT leads to good sex...but then there's a time to just shut up and ENJOY!!!!
 MissElaineESJones
Joined: 8/28/2009
Msg: 62
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/24/2009 5:24:21 PM
^^^^This brings up the point of whether or not sex defines the depth of a relationship. Can you have great sex and just have a shallow relationship? Or a great relationship and no sex?

I am beginning to think that sex may be optional but can have a part in it. Yet for those who are looking for long term, sex really should not be force that defines the depth of that relationship. Long term, sex may not be in the picture forever.

Would you be satisfied with a great relationship which had no sex?
 climbsagain
Joined: 1/20/2008
Msg: 63
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:26:34 PM
I have enjoyed the friendship of a very bright woman for 8 years and sex has never been part of the friendship. We vacation together, have spent the night in bed watching monster movies. We are as close as a couple can be without sex. So it happens. In my case it is great as i am very lucky to call her my friend, and to have her call me her friend. In fact if you think about it, consider the various sex partners you may have known in your lifetime. Now think of the true fiends you have. Chances are you been with more sex partners then true friends. So is sex really a sign of the depth of the relationship or just the reason to start a relationship?
 surfergrlfly
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 64
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/24/2009 9:43:38 PM
I think the force that drives a great relationship is made up of these three things: passion, respect and friendship. Trust plays a big part and sex is one of the "goodies" and should always be a work in progress.... Of course, as you grow old together, sex may fade away but if you have the three key ingredients i mentioned u will have a lifelong relationship.....IMO
 ~Lone Ranger~
Joined: 2/4/2009
Msg: 65
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:34:19 AM
Let me ramble on because I do not qualify as a forum guru but read them quite fanatically.
I have tons and tons of lady friends-my posse encompasses the whole state of Ohio -typical good guy that no one
wants to date. Really truly great friends BUT I am still looking for the one last true relationship for LIFE.
I have not been intimate with any of them-I have enjoyed good kissing with a select few. I have one SPECIAL friend
that never wants to get married ever again and knows that I would be in her life 24 hours a day and totally committed, but
she does not to ruin our friendship. She won't even go on a trip with me because she will not travel with someone that
she is not intimate with. I have pleaded with her and told her she can have the bed and I would sleep on the couch. I
know we could get separate rooms but that just adds to the expense-we could of used that money sight seeing, gone to
the opera, OPRY, or seen a play on Broadway. Saying that, I am sure that after developing a good friendship there are years
and years that we could enjoy intimacy also. When the sex drive leaves because of our genes or devastating illness, I am a
true believer that our true love would be enough for both of us to cherish each other-----or we could say we are looking for a
long term relationship and throw out the smoke and mirrors and PARTAY like there is no tomorrow- and yes ladies there are
a couple GOOD guys still out there-Imagination8, HVGR8DY, and two more that escape my increasing OLD brain
My ramblings are over-POOF-I am gone
 whatacrok
Joined: 2/9/2009
Msg: 66
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:25:32 AM
Thanks MissElaine for starting these and adding such positive input ... and
it is nice to see people taking time to share ...



Can you have great sex and just have a shallow relationship? Or a great relationship and no sex?

I believe both are possible ... but the "will" to be intimate (not just sexually) must be there ... this may grow over time with love and trust or may not ... thus, the dance of mating ...

We "fall" in love ... there are times when we don't even like the person at first and then
as we get to know them we find ourselves becoming more and more attracted to them ...
not because of their ability to be sexually luring, but because of their ability to share with us
a feeling of freedom and peace. For some of us sex is an important extension of the intimacy that is built during the friendship/dating stages ... for others, the sex and/or intimacy will never enter the equation for one of many reasons ... some are really not physically attracted (and SHOULD admit this right up front), some have never learned to love, some would not know love (respect, sharing, caring) if it hit them in the face (only due to fear or lack of experience with it), some are afraid to love anymore because they did once and it was not reciprocated, some are afraid because intimacy is like nakedness and some people have big mouths and don't know how to protect their mate's most precious feelings ... others possibly at an early age, love was not introduced, so intimacy scares the bajeezzus out of them ... IMHumbleO.
 sleprok
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 67
What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?
Posted: 10/30/2009 9:40:01 AM
honesty and trust
feeling you can tell them anything .
if you can feel comfortable about telling them the truth.

i need all of the above well iwant it all.
when he has my heart and i his .
then making love is the icing on the cake.
to much casual sex whats that get you .....hummmm sometimes
it can plain and simply will kill you.

shoot you can get yourself off none are children so please don't be offended
Show ALL Forums  > Ohio  > What do you think defines the depth of a relationship?