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 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 33
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

do you mean like "must be financially secure"
" must have a harley""
??????

Isn't it mutually exclusive?
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 34
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/17/2011 4:07:12 AM
Not with the way the Repos are going lately. They were a little too free wheeling with who they handed the loans out to during the 2-007-2009 period... alot of those are falling back to repossession now.

Positive - I only date Russian/Ukrainian/Slavic girls/women
Negative - don't contact me if you only speak english.

ends and means are about the same.
 mateo45
Joined: 1/17/2008
Msg: 35
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/18/2011 11:08:05 AM
do you mean like "must be financially secure"
and " must have a harley""??????


Isn't it mutually exclusive?


LOL!!.... yeah, it's like putting "expensive" together with "poor performance" and "unreliable" (oh, and the bikes are kinda the same way)!
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 36
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/20/2011 12:24:12 PM
While I've seen a lot of "must not" or more likely, " you gotta have/be" on the profiles of men (mostly those over 55), and I say out loud to my computer, well, "bully for you, you old fart!" Do I still contact him? NO! Would I still want to? NO!
Conversely, it seems a good number of men under 55, don't have all the have-to-haves.

I know that such specifics are turn-offs for most people, myself included, but frankly, I'd rather know before that first meeting, or before we even get to that point; otherwise, there's no way, we'll ever be agreeable if any of his must-nots don't match mine. Doomed to fail from the get-go.

There is a kinder, gentler way of writing out preferences without it coming across as a being a one-eyed-stuck-up- toothless-idiot ; unfortunately, it seems so few bother with that route.

But I sincerely wish that more men would be very specific as to what they are looking for, as that would save intelligent women, that might be interested otherwise, the time and effort of contacting them and be so glad they didn't!
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 38
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/20/2011 5:52:52 PM
Parrothead, You are fine , really, by me!


Thanks!
 saucyfrogg
Joined: 12/30/2010
Msg: 39
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/23/2011 2:42:09 PM
When people post "No drama" in their profile, I certainly hope that they are talking about other issues beside daily living. In life things happen, we all have feelings, standards and family issues. There are ways to handle things so they do not become drama. Negativity breeds negativity. Sometimes I just want to state "hey, give me a shot, I may not be a size 6 but I'm a great woman.
 Dave of Indiana
Joined: 3/18/2009
Msg: 40
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/23/2011 4:55:38 PM
I know that such specifics are turn-offs for most people, myself included, but frankly, I'd rather know before that first meeting, or before we even get to that point;


Seems to me 40 years ago most of us met without having a printed profile of what the other was like and yet still fell in love much easier than today. I, sometimes, wonder if subconciously we look for or percieve negatives when just reading a profile from the safety of our computer screen.

Add to this the normal hesitancy (fear) of opening up to someone we have never layed eyes on and our emotions will say I don't trust him/her: no matter how attractive they are. In fact, the more attractive he/she is the more selfconcious we may become.

When a meeting is by chance we tend to handle things a bit more openly.
 charlie_girl_2
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 42
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 7/24/2011 5:06:23 AM
Classified64:
As I read down the page and came to this gentlemans reply and that summed it all up for me. I have found that these people never even answer a email, they are always the ones not smiling in there pictures either.................Interesting


After looking at your profile pics after reading your post, I out loud!
Thanks! It's always good to have a bit of humor injected into these threads.

 Camile2099
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 44
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 6:45:13 AM
Many men list “No Head Games” in their profile. I haven’t figured out what that means. If you want a man who can write a complete sentence, I think many men consider that a head game.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 45
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 7:16:05 AM
of course, after all the instructions, policy statements, and restrictions one puts into their profile....someone will look at their photos, think "nice rack!" and not bother to read anything on their way to the message box to make that unique, intellectual email

"hey"

but I guess it makes people feel in control. what they say they don't want, is what has likely burned them in the past before. so they hope not to get the temptation again...if only that type of person could be responsible enough not to tempt them again.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 46
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 8:13:19 AM
hahahaa..ah yes I have been gulty a time or two of doing this myself

in fact I could list them alphabetically and numerically..
think it comes out of frustration from having to sift through the same kind of messages over and over
so ya just start listing off all the red flags
do not message me if....
truth be told..women around my age have a loooooooooooong list :)
 SLAFFA
Joined: 8/13/2007
Msg: 47
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 9:49:38 AM
IFFFFFFF a person is (perhaps well) over 45, they SHOULD (from previous Relationships) have figured & sorted out the difference between I must have/I will not tolerate and It would be nice if/I really dislike...

Obviously many folks never seem to learn from their mistakes along the way and we all make them.

A "pickier" person may not have made more mistakes along the way or simply paid more attention. It might just mean that they are well adapted/well suited for being or living alone.
 Camile2099
Joined: 1/3/2017
Msg: 48
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 10:08:24 AM
Posting a wish list on POF is like shipwrecked folks washing up on a remote island and writing out their dinner menu before realizing most of the ingredients aren't on the island.
 sugarlandguy
Joined: 1/3/2013
Msg: 49
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 1:27:51 PM
But if one had a 14" penis. Would he want mail from woman that can not accomodate it?
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 50
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 1:38:55 PM

But if one had a 14" penis. Would he want mail from woman that can not accomodate it?


"Everyone has a 'risk muscle.' You keep it in shape by trying new things. If you don't, it atrophies. Make a point of using it at least once a day." Roger von Oech
 hemingway234
Joined: 6/6/2015
Msg: 51
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/11/2017 3:49:44 PM
It's funny how people seem to loose their grocery lists when they actually find someone they are attracted too.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 52
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 5:07:41 AM
and sometimes, the breakup that results is why...they post a grocery list :)

i'm sure there are people we aren't attracted to that we don't bother to look at their profiles, and find that they have a grocery list...and we aren't the least bit offended by that. seems like we're only offended when the grocery list gets us off the list. and that merely means...we weren't a match. we wish we were, but we just aren't what they are looking for. and so we just should move on. and I say that as someone fishing in a small pond with few to move on to. I get the frustration, but if someone with a hot body is looking for a rich guy with a hot bod...hey, she can get that, she has that right to ask for what she wants. she doesn't have to cater to me.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 53
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 5:31:57 AM
This
"i'm sure there are people we aren't attracted to that we don't bother to look at their profiles, and find that they have a grocery list...and we aren't the least bit offended by that. seems like we're only offended when the grocery list gets us off the list."
AS with the Interests field - I have no desire to camp or fish on weekends nor would I pretend I want to just to get dates with someone I fancy. Can imagine weekend 4, chewing my way outta the tent and getting lost in the forest trying to find my way home.
Don't care if he goes alone. With a few exceptions my idea of the outdoors is the space from my car to the store or restaurant.
Husband and I camped once. First and last time as an adult camping - and I wasn't very adult
 spot4username
Joined: 12/15/2015
Msg: 54
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 6:03:56 AM
^^^ On okstupid one of the questions deals with a scenario. I can't recall the specific question but a couple of the multiple choices are kissing in Paris and camping under the stars. I put in my explanation that if I am in a tent in the woods I am being held hostage and you should send for help.
Around these parts almost every single man's profile mentions camping, fishing, mudding, hunting - you get the idea - There are lots of women who are interested in those activities, I'm just not one of them.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 55
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 6:06:46 AM
hahahhaa oh lawdy now you have gone and done it
northern Michigan
every man got a pic of himself
holding a dead deer, or a fish on a pole
and they all say I like to hunt, fish, go camping, 4 wheeling
just looking for a good woman
who likes to do the same things I like

hahhaaa...I am not the female equivalent of a man ...man

I am woman and I ...uh ain't a sleepin in no tent buster
been there and done that too many years with the kids
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 56
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 6:59:07 AM
Spot - lol. And yea I agree with Cowgirl - I just not interested.. I hunt my food at the grocery store.
Funny I wonder if they just say that - then when you start asking Qs last time they fished was 1995.
 Cowgirlwannabe1
Joined: 5/4/2017
Msg: 57
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 7:42:38 AM
hahahaa...like the ones posing on their bike
you ask them if they ride

" uh I used to but I don't own the bike anymore"
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 58
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/13/2017 7:46:26 AM

and they all say I like to hunt, fish, go camping, 4 wheeling


Maybe I should add to my profile that I like to go 4 wheeling. When I drive my car, I like having all 4 wheels on the road.
 Nestaron
Joined: 3/22/2016
Msg: 59
Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/14/2017 12:53:52 AM
Well if you put them in a ball they could just bounce away.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 60
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Wondering Why People box themselves in with Specifics
Posted: 6/21/2017 2:12:18 PM
Turnoffs for me in a profile

Dead fish
Hunting
Truck
Sports Car
Motorcycle
Drinking

Positives
Riding a bicycle
Hiking a trail
Photo laughing or big smile doing some activity

I never boxed my self in. There were athletic outdoorsy males who contacted me ( like my boyfriend). In general I find these males more educated and interesting. There is nothing wrong with a truck or sports car but I'm not interested in a male who sees it as his identity.
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