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 jon525
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 54
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?Page 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
yes you are right a large group of women do work hard,.
but on the other hand more men are used by women for money ,
I don't care if woman pump gas, all I want is this,
# 1 they enjoy their job and if not don't take your choice out on me.
simple.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 66
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/16/2008 7:17:15 PM
I read most of this thread and I STILL don't understand what the problem is. Stuff like profession comes up when two adults talk to each other. After all most of us do SOMETHING those 10+ hours a day. I just wanna know what it is that the girl is doing with her life most of the day, that's it. I don't care about her money. I don't care about equalities or inequalities between genders. All I wanna know is what is it that you are doing for the living. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Why it is such a big deal, I don't get it. And I'm from the former USSR myself, I can't blame this on cultural differences or something.
 RedsPetal
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 67
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/16/2008 7:20:12 PM
Dating within ones so called 'status' is not a new notion, it is a very very old one. Is it right or wrong? I guess that is individual opinion. So many other ideas have evolved over the centuries. I find it sad that we must be so suspicious of each others motives. I am well aware that there are individuals - men and women alike - who are driven more by materialistic values than any other, I guess that is what society has taught them? I do admit that I like a man to be employed and plan to stay that way, just as I plan to as well, barring any tragedy on either side. I still believe their is someone out there who will adore me as much as I adore him , regardless of position. But I certainly agree that it is a perfectly normal topic of conversation.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 69
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/16/2008 7:37:40 PM


say i shop for 10 hours, so what?
it's not hot enough for you? since when hotness is measured by my profession???


I know it's just an example, but to me, "shop for 10 hours a day" would be as far away from "hot" as it gets...

I've dated girls from all over the world and never once a girl would refuse to even tell me what she does for the living. To me, it is an absolutely trivial question. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it if she for some reason didn't wanna tell me. I would be kind of surprised if she made a big deal out of it though.
 your_jinx
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 71
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/16/2008 9:02:38 PM
I like to know out of curiosity and to see if we already have a similar lifestyle. if it isn't similar hopefully she's having a better/easier time which I hope happens. I have my own money I don't want or need her money to live on. The more she does earn the easier it will be for us to take those trips we both like to take.
 Pink Rose Lady
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 73
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/16/2008 9:23:26 PM
I wouldn't take offense if someone asked me this question, it's a matter of finding out information. It works both ways, women ask men about their chosen profession, so what?

Now if you have your goals set on reeling in a sugar daddy, don't be pursuing a guy who works at a pizza joint as a dishwasher.

Pink
 TheLimey
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 75
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/16/2008 10:47:36 PM

I'm curious why this question is asked. Do men really care if I'm a waitress or a CEO?
Why if hey do is it because they want to use me for my money, potentially?
Who cares about a woman's profession?


It's to prevent having to introduce dates at church or over dinner with their parents as "a hooker" etc
 quicksilverconvert
Joined: 5/25/2005
Msg: 79
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:24:06 AM
"Well, we got no picture for a thin 29 year old with a masters degree for starters.
First red flag = no self confidence to post a picture

Then we have all but 2 lines of text - a whole 22 words !!
2nd Red Flag = tooo lazy , takes the easy way out, evassive

And the final insult ~~probably expects date to spend $50 for two at Red Lobster
3rd Red Flag = gold digger

C'mon now--you're an intelligent woman.
ANY guy is looking for something concrete to latch onto in a profile
and you've made it all that much more difficult by not listing your job.

Basically you're asking a guy to date a ghost, but you want a good look
at his profile and picture to see if he is worth your time.

I would tell my younger friends to pass on you and search elsewhere ."


BINGO!
 Adam 4 Coffee
Joined: 5/31/2007
Msg: 80
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:24:07 AM
Its a perfectly legitimate question. What do you do for aliving? how was your day? What are we supossed to have conversations about? I can; think of many more offensive and argumentive topics such as religion nd politics. But what you spend 30-60 hours a week doing when you are mnot dating is a legitimate question. wht kind of muysic do you like? Oh she likes rap she must be fromt he ghetto.... Do you liek coffee? Oh starschmucks? You must be a snob! Men cna;t win with women who are just always looking for something to get offended about. That's why I can;t stand femenists... everything offends them especially my humor! Not safe for the work place baby!
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 82
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:38:41 AM
I think its just part of getting to know someone. Making conversation to see if you have anything alike to chat about. Why do alot of people think that everyone wants there money? I never understood that. Oh yes I am sure there are some that are out just looking to be taken care of. but far less then what people think Just my thoughts
 MartySC
Joined: 6/13/2008
Msg: 83
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:08:32 AM
I think this subject is well covered but I will throw in my two cents worth. Maybe she is too ashamed to show a picture and too ashamed to talk about her profession. Looks like her goal getting lobster dinners at her dates expense and not talk about anything during the meal.
 oceanbreeze77
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 84
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 6:50:48 AM
Some people on here are just out to trash someone because they have serious anger issues. The primary aggressor with the black shirt has a nonsense profile and doesn't list anything personal about himself. He says that he has a bachelors degree but no one knows if that's true. I don't think that emotionally train wrecked people are allowed to be one here anyway.

It's true. The 60's mentality doesn't exist anymore. I wish it did because the men were much nicer and took pride in themselves for just reasons. They actually didn't have a problem with paying for dinner because it was the assumed gentleman thing to do. Women just aren't valued for being women anymore. Men and women have different roles in a relationship and that is just a fact that doesn't require anyone's approval.
(Sorry, all you argumentative people!!)

I think the other lady poster was right with her advice. If it bothers you so much to tell about your job simply say so. " I'd rather talk about that some other time."
I know exactly where you're coming from though. Men seem to want all the details about your employment when they barely even know you. That makes me uneasy. Just give the category and move on. There's a lot of strangers out there with too much information.

People, move out of your parents house already and remember if you can't afford treating your date to dinner, you don't need to be dating!
(The Lobsters will thank you!)

 circe 1
Joined: 10/2/2007
Msg: 89
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:30:59 AM
Because men want to get to know you and I see nothing wrong with them asking you. Hell, if I was a man and some woman told me she was an escort or a stripper I'd sure want to know! And if you didn't work I would want to know why. You are what you DO for a living...and it does matter.
 emer33
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 90
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:40:17 AM
It is an o.k. question, but for most people it does not describe us well. We are not just what we do for a living, or how many toys we have collected. Where is you heart? might be a better question to really get to know someone. I have no doubt that some men felt used financially in the past, and have their guard up.
My last "meeting person"NOT a date, just a first meeting was a doozie. We sat on a bench and talked for an hour. He asked "What do you do for a living?" even though it was clearly posted. I am a teacher. I also do not like labels, as I am also an artist, mother, grandmother, designer, computer wiz/geek, writer, upholsterer, wallpaper person, driver, etc, and have been paid for all of these, if you count alimony as being a paid mother. If you are uncomfortable with the question, just turn it around, and answer whatever you like. I am not working in my field now, but I enjoy...(fill-in the blank) This speaks to who you are as a person.
Even though e are supposed to be in a new age, many women have sacrificed career for family.
 blondago56
Joined: 8/21/2004
Msg: 91
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:45:13 AM
for the SAME Reasons i Myself ask gentlemen what they 'do' for work/job/career/living/to pay bills/etc... i want to know that they can make it, have their sh*t together, can take care of obligations (theirs, not mine), and are stable.... how a person works & takes care of things is an indication of how they will 'take care of you'..... IF and When i have a permanent partner in My Life again, he will be self sufficient, as i will be/and always have been...and We will be able to face obligations Together, stronger...
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 93
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:56:00 AM
Most of the time I inquire about a man's profession, mostly as a conversation starter. I'm not necessarily judging him on what he does for a living, unless there is reason to. ie: A man's 40 years old, and works as a cashier at McDonalds, or maybe he is someone who is a professional unemployment collector...

There are some professions/careers that are just plain entertaining to learn about, maybe its someone in an unusual job, or something similar to what I do, and an exchange of ideas can lead to endless conversation...

As far as a woman's profession goes, if you do not want to give out specifics as to what you do, you can always be vague. Such as, if you work at McDonalds, Wal-Mart, or are a prostitute, you can list it as "Customer Service"...

There are some people who are proud of their professions, and some like myself, who's profession dictates how our lives are lived. In my case, Trucking & Ranching, both of those professions own the person, they are a lifestyle, not just a 9 to 5 job... Sometimes that makes a difference to another person when they are thinking about building a relationship with the other person, because there are a lot of things one must give up, or take into consideration, that may not be such a problem elsewhere.

Try to look for the good in people, not everyone is out there for your money, and you may find someone who has just as much, or just as little as you do, and never know what could have been, just because you were quick to judge...

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 94
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:00:01 AM
for the SAME Reasons i Myself ask gentlemen what they 'do' for work/job/career/living/to pay bills/etc... i want to know that they can make it, have their sh*t together, can take care of obligations (theirs, not mine), and are stable....

- Walt Disney
- William Fox (Co-founder of 20th Century Fox)
- Andy Gibb
- Bob Guccione
- Don Johnson
- Donald Trump

All have had lucrative careers, all have also at one time filed for bankruptcy protection. What a person does for a living in no way insures that they have their sh*t together.
how a person works & takes care of things is an indication of how they will 'take care of you'.....

This could be true but it does lead one to ask about the financial fortitude of the person who is concerned about how well their partner will take care of them. You'd think that they themselves would stand with the premise that they would hold toward a potential partner.
 ThirdTimeAround
Joined: 12/31/2007
Msg: 101
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:31:35 AM
it's only a question......if you don't like telling people what you do for a living...maybe it is time to change professions.
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 103
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:35:37 AM
I care that you can handle your business and not be a future burdon on me. Why would I want to take on a dependent?
 ffryan
Joined: 10/10/2005
Msg: 112
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:03:26 PM
I am always curious about what a woman does for a living. You can tell a lot about somebody by their career choice. Did this person choose an easy career? Did they choose one that requires constant development of their skills? Does she enjoy a challenge? Is she looking to coast through life?

I admire anyone who earns an honest living. I believe it is a noble and decent thing. Sometimes career choices are an indication of how smart somebody is. Not always of course. I know some hairstylists who make $15/hr who are smarter than some executives who make 6 figure incomes.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 113
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:18:38 PM
For a man - it's mandatory to work and win bread, thats why it's ok for a girl to ask a man what does he do, and it's not a sign of a gold-digger for me, it's a very natural question
AND I SUSPECT REAL GOLD DIGGERS WILL NOT GO TO A FREE WEBSITE,

SO GUYS, STOP FLATTERING YOURSELF HERE!

I never knew that it was primarily mandatory for a man to work and "win bread" which allows women to critique him; live and learn I guess.

Oh, here's one of several sites which are just free for women to join. It's not to say that there isn't a similar one which is free to men but I've yet to come across it.

http://www.seekingmillionaire.com
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 116
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 3:38:24 PM

For a man - it's mandatory to work and win bread, thats why it's ok for a girl to ask a man what does he do, and it's not a sign of a gold-digger for me, it's a very natural question

For a woman - it's an option to work and win bread, her right/ability to work allows her to save herself from maybe awful relationships and it's fine, but why men would care what does she do and based on that extrapolate on her salary range is beyond me


This is going in circles. Winning bread... awful relationships... salary ranges... all in one.

You automatically assume that just because a guy asks you what you do for a living he wants somehow figure out how much you make and get to your money. Alright, you are up 1 assumption. Let's make it even, I have one assumption to make, right? I assume that since you are so unwilling to even tell me what your job is, you are so damn embarassed by it that you are afraid I'll stand up and walk away the second you tell me something about it. You see how awesome assumptions work? We all can assume some BS about other people and live happily ever after.

Winning bread? Wtf? We are married after a couple of dates or something? I win my bread alright, don't worry about that. You excercise your option/right/ability and win your bread. Funny how when you are single and don't have anybody to win bread for you... it really isn't an option or right, it really is a necessity.

Anyway, I don't think I'll even get what the problem is... I may wanna excuse myself out of this thread...
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 120
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 4:23:40 PM


No It's NOT about money, it's all about principle. That's what marriage is. Sharing, working, struggling, good and bad, all TOGETHER.
I make $5, you make $2, we make $7 dollars TOGETHER, that's all there is to it. As I said there is no MY MONEY in marriage.
I work for US, but you work for YOU. That's selfish. That's not marriage! That's "I'll screw my partner" one sided business deal.


Dude... you might wanna give up.
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