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 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 122
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?Page 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

No It's NOT about money, it's all about principle. That's what marriage is. Sharing, working, struggling, good and bad, all TOGETHER.
I make $5, you make $2, we make $7 dollars TOGETHER, that's all there is to it. As I said there is no MY MONEY in marriage.
I work for US, but you work for YOU. That's selfish. That's not what marriage is all about.

And does it really matter how someone makes a living so long as it's legal and doesn't negatively impact the relationship? It's all legal tender regardless of the profession. It's probably an issue only to those who are more concerned about the quantity of what's made even though they say that they're more concerned that the person is happy at their job. Wouldn't it make more sense to be concerned about the person being happy with their life?
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 137
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:42:33 PM
I believe men are more attracted to the girl who has everything. Looks, personality, intelligence, and great career. Same thing to which women are attracted. We all want the whole package!
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 140
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:53:50 PM
There was a time that the measure of a man's worth was how much money he made. Understand this was back when wives only worked when their husbands were at war, things have changed dramatically since then.

Nowadays with the ultra-high levels of consumerism here in the states should it really matter who makes the majority of the funds within a relationship? It shouldn't matter unless:
- You are stuck on stereotypical gender roles
- You define the worth of a person by how much they make, including yourself
- You have expectations of equality which isn't in sync with your partner's

Any of these things will negatively impact a relationship no matter who makes more. If a person still believes in the gender roles money wouldn't be an issue; women wouldn't be making any since they would only be homemakers. If someone defines their self worth by how much they made they would at best choose to be in a relationship with someone who made the same amount that they did if not less. Finally, if you and your partner have different ideas about "equality" when it comes to relationships and what sustains them, you have little chance of keeping it together without turmoil.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 141
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:58:39 PM

I believe men are more attracted to the girl who has everything. Looks, personality, intelligence, and great career. Same thing to which women are attracted. We all want the whole package!

Having an entire "package" definitely doesn't hurt but when it comes down to it what really matters to either person is whether or not their partner makes them feel good about themselves when they're together and whether they're physically attracted to one another. All of the things you listed are just means to the end.
 webchick
Joined: 6/24/2008
Msg: 142
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 5:59:50 PM
Maybe they want to know if you're a hooker !

 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 148
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:10:51 PM

I personally will never be comfortable with a man who makes less than me or actually quite honestly much more then me, it creates basic inequality right from the start

So out of curiosity, what exactly do you believe a man could offer you in a relationship?
 geeleebee
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 150
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:20:06 PM
You know, OP, your profile is so thin that you'll be lucky to have anyone contact you and ask you ANYthing, much less a question about your job.
 DLo!
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 155
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History
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 9:52:32 PM
If not for my responses getting posted on my charming little profile I'd tell you why....guess you'll never know! ;)
 SP4CEMAN
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 157
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:01:55 PM
I suppose its is the same reason women ask men. Unconsciously or consciously we are determining weather or not you are able to provide for yourself as a mate. Another reason is that your chosen profession can tell a us a lot about who you are as a person. To use your example, it is hard to argue against the fact that a CEO would be much more independent and self sufficient than a waitress. Not to take away from the independent waitresses out there. There are many reasons. I don't necessarily think it is the determining factor of weather or not we will talk to you, but it is certainly one of them. Not to mention, it's a great way to begin to identify with you.
 SP4CEMAN
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 159
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:07:11 PM
I suppose its is the same reason women ask men. Unconsciously or consciously we are determining weather or not you are able to provide for yourself as a mate. Another reason is that your chosen profession can tell a us a lot about who you are as a person. To use your example, it is hard to argue against the fact that a CEO would be much more independent and self sufficient than a waitress. Not to take away from the independent waitresses out there. There are many reasons. I don't necessarily think it is the determining factor of whether or not we will talk to you, but it is certainly one of them. Not to mention, it's a great way to begin to identify with you.
 Invictus01
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 160
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/17/2008 10:15:15 PM


he insists that everything a girl makes while married she should put on the table..
share i guess...


He insists that what BOTH people in a marriage make should put everything on the table. BIG difference.

As for your question about a woman making money in a different league... Not to brag, but if she makes 4-5 times than what I make (I'd consider that a different league), she'd be making well over a half a million dollars a year. I'd be utterly impressed by this. Not too many people my age outside of pro sports athletes can say that they were making over a half a mil a year in their early 30s. That probably takes a pretty successful business or a stellar career. And I'd be even more interested to hear how she got that high that fast, but I could care less about dating her for her money. I have way more self respect than that.
 ixbi
Joined: 4/20/2005
Msg: 165
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 12:20:08 AM
I ask this question pretty up front, but to me it doesn't matter what you do or how much you make, its just a question to find out about who you are and what you do, and where you spend your time. Like someone said you spend alot of time at work, if you are the CEO of some big company, you may have to work 70 hour work weeks, and some people dont want someone who is married to their work. You may be a police officer or firefighter, some men, as well as women, dont want to have to worry if their partner will return from work or not.

On another point with men being providers and women raiseing the children, it doesn't always work that way anymore. I have a few friends who are stay at home DADS which is getting more common these days, some women would rather work, some women, I'm sorry to say, arent the best stay at home moms, and the father is able to take better care of the child. I'm not sure who made the comment about breastfeeding, but nowadays they have breastpumps and bottles, you pump the milk into a bottle and the father can feed the baby. Now adays a good father will even wake up in the middle of the night to feed and change the baby, things that in the past, when a man was sole provider, would never happen.

Reading this posts I have to say there are some really great women out here who are secure and indepent and proud of it and I congradulate them, but for all of the ones out here complaining about being equal and indepent and then saying they want a perfect gentleman, you can have things both ways. If you want to be equal and indepent then be 100% you can't have equality when it benifits you. Don't tell a guy you want to be equal indpent strong woman, then get mad when he doesn't open the door for you. If you want equal eaither stop asking men what they do, or answer when they ask you.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 166
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:28:13 AM

interesting life, opportunities to see and experience things with the person I love, or at least compatible with, family, children

i would not throw word love, as i heard it many times directed towards me, and i'm unsure about its true meaning

Simple, isn't it?

How about you?


Pretty much the same thing as you but without setting limitations based on income.
Simpler, isn't it? It seems strange to base one's capacity of love or compatability by a person's income.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 168
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 5:34:24 PM

Not only I need to work like crazy, but I also still have to give birth, raise children, cook and clean.

No you don't NEED to do anything but die and pay taxes.
The whole TRUE point of the equality for women movement was to give women CHOICES. If you choose to put all your time and energy into a career, you can DO that. The women's equality movement was NOT about making it a demand that women "do it all", nor was it designed to screw men over.
For good or ill, for many families having both parents in the workplace has become an economic must, particularly if one wants to help the kids with college and retire with dignity.
And realistically, a woman who has chosen to forego marriage& motherhood in order to put ALL her energy into a career is going to encounter some raised eyebrows. But the choice IS there. And no one is forcing you to "give birth, raise children, cook and clean".
Cindy O
 chrylann
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 171
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:20:52 PM
They are looking for sugar mamas. It's the same reason they are looking for someone with a house, a car, a big paycheck, no bills. They want somebody to take care of them. Just my thoughts.
 womanofpassion2007
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 172
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:27:08 PM
I think that what you do for a living says a lot about your intelligence???......I'm never offended when asked and I certainly don't think it's about money....Don't you agree?
 lindy_3333
Joined: 3/6/2006
Msg: 173
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/18/2008 6:38:21 PM
Men define who they are by their careers. It has always been that way. They define you by yours too, now that most women work. So thus, as they would socially ask their males counterparts what they do for a living in conversation, they now ask women.

Some men want to know you aren't a leach. I ask men what they do for a living. I don't want a leach either! *giggle*

Some men want to use you; some women want to use men.

It really isn't a big deal. I would be more concerned about all they want to know, not just one thing. All the stuff would then define what they want as long as you can read between the lines. If you think they want to use you, financially, they probably do. But, then, you could be paranoid. ;)

Damn, dating can be so complicated, can't it?? :)


Just enjoy and try not to over analyze.
 2mybaby
Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 174
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:34:11 AM
They want to know how you spend your time. A solid career has many benefits. Life is expensive and becoming more expensive everyday. A career demonstrates real value in the real world that we all have to live in.

Men enjoy and highly value their own security and a good income stream exactly like most woman. Managing career responsibilities and balanced with personal interests to attain and sustain the best life (within reason) is highly admireable to men.

It immediately speaks volumes about someones motives, personality, character and commitments.

To me, trust and personability skills are the most important and intimate part of relationships. That goes for almost all relationships.
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 175
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 8:17:37 AM
bizdivaz66 nicolas cage married a waitress at a tittle sushi resturant and is bipolar. He has a disability and married a woman that he "liked". she does not work. is she a gold digger?
have you done anything amazing with your little bookkeeping job and witha disability like he did? you are very judgmental. with the serious relations i have had, who had the money paid. And we did not care. I had an unemployed fiance with a PhD that we were living together and at the time I was making excellent money. I never hesitated on being the provided. How can you call providing for a loved on of a family gold digging.
You are sooo obnoxious and inmature. you need to be with a hypocrite such as yourself.
the type of person that bails when thing are bad. that leaves her signifigant other because he is ill or got fired. because you are power stauture and a money freak
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
yuck
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 178
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:26:12 AM
I don't know why men ask it, but for me it is just a curiousity thing... like where do you live or how many children do you have... why would anyone be put off by the question?
 Michae7272
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 179
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:28:06 AM

your ideal first date is "a lobster dinner"


Mmmm lobster!

Err sorry off topic, so a job is a great way to find a common interest. For example you a an amateur film designer... Oh my good word! There are a ton of conversations that could come from that, or maybe a game shop owner, even a mail carrier... do people REALLY send live lobster through the mail.... Mmmm lobster... Err moving along.

It can also show if a person has ambition, if you are unemployed and show little interest in being so, is probably a red sign. If you are a student (like me) there tends to be some people who really don’t like dating students. Maybe they just want to know more about you in general with no consideration for judgment or atelier motive. It's not a very big deal unless you are unhappy with your own answer, and if there not happy with your answer either they probably are not a good match for you.
So why is this such a sore spot?

And uhh can we get back to that lobster now? :eat:
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