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 smile2u27
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 181
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?Page 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
What is wrong with asking what you do for a living? Are you ashamed of it? I always ask a man what he does for a living and how long he has been at his job. Tells me alot about him. Im looking for a motivated driven person like myself. So if he jumps from job to job im not interested.
 midwestisbest
Joined: 7/15/2008
Msg: 182
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 12:08:27 PM
Are you kidding? If you are saving for school, that means that you may not even afford buying her a coke, let alone this "lobster dinner" in these threads. Profession DOES matter: it shows education, tenacity, whether a person is "selling" oriented, or in a giving profession...forgetting the financial implications.
A more appropriate question could be "Do you enjoy your work" or "Are you persnickity"....both of which are usually revealed on the first date anyway. There are many people going back to school who ARE NOT persnickity....and some who make loads of money who are. Lets get to the heart of these matters....
 Lovelygirl88
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 184
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/19/2008 11:41:14 PM
OP,
I agree with that, my job should not be a part of the chemistry. But it seems like nowadays guys are getting more comfortable and feel entitled to get more from women while offering less. In many countries, both husband and wife will work and we would hire many domestic helpers to cook, clean, play with the children ( stay in maids). So, yes money is the a big possible motive why men asking you that question, here. Other thing, naturally men are the main provider. Holding a job will keep men function his natural.
Follow your instinct. Good luck
 geeleebee
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 186
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:19:05 AM
You know perfectly well why men ask what you do for a living. The real question you should be asking yourself is, do I answer or not?
YES NO
Pick one.
Move on.
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 188
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/20/2008 11:42:05 AM
Personnaly, I think that being asked these questions should be a relief. If a guy is only interested in an intimate encounter, he won't care what your job is or your interests are. All that will matter is what you look like naked, and what you're comfortable doing in bed. If he's looking for something long-term, then career and hobbies will naturally interest him.
 sxyvirgo
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 189
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:54:25 PM
The OP poses an interesting question...yes, I'd love that MORE men were interested in what I do for a living. Instead, at least on other dating websites where people can pick what they're looking for, most men will say they are interested in women with any level of income, education, and occupation...BUT they are VERY picky about the woman's age range they want her to be within!

It's fine for men to overlook the material things in women, but please overlook age as well! Basically, many men are saying that age (and her pic) are most important but profession, education, etc. really are just incidental.
 intimatefriend
Joined: 8/4/2008
Msg: 196
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:06:38 PM
This rubbish is hillarious. The question when asked first is a typical american thing to do and shows lack of culture and creativity ect. It also is usually classist. Big surprise the world is full of superficial sociopaths and wannabee gutless narcicists. But this shieldvulf guy is actually funny which all of you guys lack... haha so listen to him
 Applette
Joined: 4/13/2007
Msg: 201
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:42:54 PM
I think it is perfectly normal for someone to ask what another (either sex) what they do for a living. Careers that are similar often lead to lots of conversation and a way of getting to know one another.

You are so right about the lobster dinner .... me thinks the lady is FAR MORE INTERESTED IN DATING TO EAT!
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 203
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/23/2008 3:56:35 PM
I can't imagine dating a woman whose identity is tied to her profession. A few that come to mind are Hillary Clinton, Gloria Allred and Ann Coulter. All are well established, intelligent and respected by their respective peers. They all have great credentials but I'm guessing that the not too many guys would be willing to be in a relationship with any of them despite their solid careers.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 205
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 7:56:52 AM
It may just be me but I could really care less what a woman does for a living if I'm considering her as a potential partner; I'm much more interested what she does with her life. If all she can talk about is her job I might as well consider her as unavailable.

Sure, a person's perfession could be used as an opener but it shows no originality what so ever. Instead of using a topic which is ordinary, why not start off with something interesting? Grab my attention, show me that you aren't like everyone else. Doing so shows that you're original and confident; it could be much more interesting than what you do for a living.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 207
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:38:42 AM
In the United States, it's one of the things we ask people when we meet them. It's supposed to be a topic of conversation. Boring (most of the time) but people ask it. In Europe, it's considered rude. You are supposed to ask people about their families.

Some people are hung up about professions. They make assumptions about your level of intelligence. They make assumptions about your income and what the implications of that may mean for them. When I would meet a guy, I always made it a point *not* to ask and shunned answering the question because I wanted to get to know them as a person before that kind of information came out. I didn't want it to color my perception of them and didn't want it influencing their attitude about me.

Don't take offense, but if you don't want to answer, don't. What I always said was, "I prefer not to talk about my job when I'm getting to know someone. Ask me again when we know each other a little better." Or I'd keep it vague. "I'm in health care," and leave it at that. On occasion this would really upset a guy and I'd figure, okay, that was a quick way to eliminate someone who obviously is not going to be a good match. The kind of guy I want in my life will accept reasonable boundaries and what I do for a living is not information that every man I meet for the first time is entitled to. Third time, yes, if it looks like we're going to continue seeing each other, but first time, no.
 Gradgirl
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 209
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 8:39:06 PM
Ahhhh Cmonster, this hurts my heart, really it does:


I can't imagine dating a woman whose identity is tied to her profession. A few that come to mind are Hillary Clinton, Gloria Allred and Ann Coulter. All are well established, intelligent and respected by their respective peers. They all have great credentials but I'm guessing that the not too many guys would be willing to be in a relationship with any of them despite their solid careers.


I mean really, Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton never belong on the same list -shakes head-

For my two cents, if a guy doesn't express some interest in what I do then [bold]that[/bold] rules him out. Maybe I'm "new school" but I am a successful, driven, intelligent woman with a challenging and rewarding career. I'm not killing time until I can have babies and perfect my chicken casserole recipe...

Does this mean I'm a rabid feminist, or Clinton or Coulter-like? Nope. Just means that I'm proud of what I do, and I chose it for a reason, and it's a large part of who I am. Believe it or not - these days careers can be important to women too! -le gasp-
 BDRT
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 210
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:05:10 PM
I just can't imagine not telling someone what I do for a living. It's where I spend a great deal of my time. Even though it doesn't have to be a major topic of conversation, it's bound to come up at some point. And I would hope he was interested enough in me to want to know how I spend my time. I would be very suspicious of anyone who would NOT tell me what they do for a living.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 212
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 9:24:56 PM

I mean really, Ann Coulter and Hillary Clinton never belong on the same list -shakes head-

C'mon, I wasn't directly comparing the two. One is a well accomplished author ant the other is a well accomplished politician. I'll admit that it may be presumptuous to put both in the same list especially in this instance because its been said that the jury is still out on the actual gender of one of them. I'm not saying which one but has anyone taken a really good look at the mitts on Anne? I mean I've only seen hands like those on Wilt Chamberlain and ET.

Don't believe me?
http://www.overspun.com/images/Coulter.Alien.jpg
 Gradgirl
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 213
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/8/2008 10:26:13 PM
lol - and here I thought you were going to follow up the gender-ambiguity comment with one of the common Hillary-is-a-lesbian-attacks. Your Coulter pic slightly redeems you calling her a 'well-accomplished' anything :P
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 214
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:44:22 PM
I don't see anything wrong with this question. We spend most of our time at work, so the work partially becomes our second identity. Some men ask about it to get a sense of your personality, some do it for a small talk, some want to estimate your income range. Regardless of the reasons, it's a normal question.

I also ask this question. I like to know a man's occupation and education as much as I like to know his age, marital status, location, etc. Some occupations a turn off for me even a man is well off financially.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 215
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:17:17 PM

We spend most of our time at work, so the work partially becomes our second identity.

That's kinda scary. Not just that some people's identity is defined by their occupation but that they could change identities depending on the activity. They're one way with their friends, another at work, another when with the family and possibly another when dating. It as if it's some sort of multiple personality disorder. Why not just define your identity by your own terms and stick with it no matter the occasion?
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 217
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:43:43 PM
I used to work in a pretty good job with good prospects, with a guy who told me that he would only have a relationship with someone who was on his level of earnings. He just wanted to avoid all the problems when you earn more than him, and when he earns more than you.

I just want to know that you enjoy your job, and that it is truly fulfilling for you. I like people who really have an interesting life.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 218
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:49:11 PM

That's kinda scary. Not just that some people's identity is defined by their occupation but that they could change identities depending on the activity. They're one way with their friends, another at work, another when with the family and possibly another when dating. It as if it's some sort of multiple personality disorder. Why not just define your identity by your own terms and stick with it no matter the occasion?

No, that's not what I meant. I mean that majority of us choose an occupation that fits our personalities. For example, "Social Butterfly" type of a person would choose an occupation that deals with people, and not just machines, or a "Geek" type of a person would not be a Party Planner. No multiple personalities unless you specifically chose the disconnect between your personality and your occupation.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 219
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:45:38 PM

No, that's not what I meant. I mean that majority of us choose an occupation that fits our personalities.

True, a lot of people have chosen careers based on their personality. So why not just ask about who we are instead of what we do if our career is just a byproduct of our personality?
 jackster121
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 220
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:30:05 PM
it's mainly a conversation starter for me, anyway. After you tell me, then I can ask you questions. We are supposed to be interested in you, that is what we hear. I wish men would show interest. Why question everything. Just go with it. If he is after your money, drop his ass. Simple.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 221
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:33:20 PM

True, a lot of people have chosen careers based on their personality. So why not just ask about who we are instead of what we do if our career is just a byproduct of our personality?

And how would you answer the question "Who you are?"? Would you start describing your personality, hobbies, etc? Careers are byproducts of our personalities? Yes, you can say that. And it's not just a preference based on a personality type that affected the career choice, but also the energy, the drive, the ambitions, the risk tolerance level and many other characteristics. Plus in many cases it also tells about the social and/or financial status, and many people are interested to know that too.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 222
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:01:18 PM

And how would you answer the question "Who you are?"? Would you start describing your personality, hobbies, etc?

Along with ideas, beliefs, dreams, goals, funny anecdotes, general perceptions about life, the list goes on and on. There are tons of things which give more insight about a person. Unless of course all you have to talk about is your job.

Ever wonder why couples grow apart so quickly and eventually break up because they end realizing that their partner is as exciting as a crushed pebble? More times than not it's a lack of interest. The funny thing is that they say that they've lost interest, I'd challenge them as to the amount of interest they had in the first place.

Plus in many cases it also tells about the social and/or financial status, and many people are interested to know that too.

That's typically something that women but a big emphasis on. What people still fail to accept is that nowadays someone who seems to have socio-economic status is in the same dire financial straits as the people who fell into the sub-prime mess. A person could have a six figure salary at Bear Stearns and still have 470 credit rating but if he sounds ambitious he can still win over a girl, right?
 Refinedsillyguy
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 223
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 9:32:03 PM
Well maybe they looking for more to talk about. I mean an artist might not be to into a hockeyplayer. Some people know what they want, it just helps.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 225
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:37:40 AM

My job doesn't define me, it's what I do in my spare time and what I'm going to do in the future in that does. I'm coaching basketball this fall; that should define me. I love the game and I'm excited to build a winning team. It shows ambition. I won't see a dime for coaching this fall, but oh well.


Good example! A person could discern a ton of meaningful information about you from this alone. It also speaks to 'who you are' more than what you do.

I've seen more couples stay together through hardships because they were more connect to one another by who they were as a person. The endured through financial problems and family problems pretty well. As for the couples who were more connected by what they did, well; when their careers changed their relationships changed. Occasionally the changes were for the better but more times than not the change eroded the relationship.
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