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 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 219
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?Page 8 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

No, that's not what I meant. I mean that majority of us choose an occupation that fits our personalities.

True, a lot of people have chosen careers based on their personality. So why not just ask about who we are instead of what we do if our career is just a byproduct of our personality?
 jackster121
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 220
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:30:05 PM
it's mainly a conversation starter for me, anyway. After you tell me, then I can ask you questions. We are supposed to be interested in you, that is what we hear. I wish men would show interest. Why question everything. Just go with it. If he is after your money, drop his ass. Simple.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 221
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:33:20 PM

True, a lot of people have chosen careers based on their personality. So why not just ask about who we are instead of what we do if our career is just a byproduct of our personality?

And how would you answer the question "Who you are?"? Would you start describing your personality, hobbies, etc? Careers are byproducts of our personalities? Yes, you can say that. And it's not just a preference based on a personality type that affected the career choice, but also the energy, the drive, the ambitions, the risk tolerance level and many other characteristics. Plus in many cases it also tells about the social and/or financial status, and many people are interested to know that too.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 222
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:01:18 PM

And how would you answer the question "Who you are?"? Would you start describing your personality, hobbies, etc?

Along with ideas, beliefs, dreams, goals, funny anecdotes, general perceptions about life, the list goes on and on. There are tons of things which give more insight about a person. Unless of course all you have to talk about is your job.

Ever wonder why couples grow apart so quickly and eventually break up because they end realizing that their partner is as exciting as a crushed pebble? More times than not it's a lack of interest. The funny thing is that they say that they've lost interest, I'd challenge them as to the amount of interest they had in the first place.

Plus in many cases it also tells about the social and/or financial status, and many people are interested to know that too.

That's typically something that women but a big emphasis on. What people still fail to accept is that nowadays someone who seems to have socio-economic status is in the same dire financial straits as the people who fell into the sub-prime mess. A person could have a six figure salary at Bear Stearns and still have 470 credit rating but if he sounds ambitious he can still win over a girl, right?
 Refinedsillyguy
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 223
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/11/2008 9:32:03 PM
Well maybe they looking for more to talk about. I mean an artist might not be to into a hockeyplayer. Some people know what they want, it just helps.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 225
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:37:40 AM

My job doesn't define me, it's what I do in my spare time and what I'm going to do in the future in that does. I'm coaching basketball this fall; that should define me. I love the game and I'm excited to build a winning team. It shows ambition. I won't see a dime for coaching this fall, but oh well.


Good example! A person could discern a ton of meaningful information about you from this alone. It also speaks to 'who you are' more than what you do.

I've seen more couples stay together through hardships because they were more connect to one another by who they were as a person. The endured through financial problems and family problems pretty well. As for the couples who were more connected by what they did, well; when their careers changed their relationships changed. Occasionally the changes were for the better but more times than not the change eroded the relationship.
 jsphn11
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 226
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/12/2008 11:32:16 AM

Some people (like me) are working to save up for school. However, to some people, it doesn't matter that I'm saving up, it's the fact that I'm working a crappy job that holds ground with them.

Good for you. At your age it shows determination and maturity. If a girl doesn't see it don't get too upset about her.

However, if you were a man of 50+, and all you did in your live was having crappy jobs and living with a roommate, that wouldn't look good - just my opinion
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 228
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/13/2008 10:30:35 PM

What is a crappy job? You might think it is a crappy job but they may love it.

But it doesn't seem to matter what why you do what you do (be it student, blue collar or white collar worker), what seems to be important is what how the other person judges you by your occupation (chosen or not). Sad state in my opinion.
 lucilou
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 229
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:21:30 AM
Think positive, they ask beause if there's chemistry and it becomes a relationship, 2 pay check is better than one in a family. With both working they can relax better and can enjoy life better. Money is a necessity in this world. So I dont mind if they ask me that question, its a legit question in dating and getting to know each other.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 230
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:35:27 AM
I ask PEOPLE what they do for a living...it's a common question, when talking with someone new. On a date, it's a good topic for discussion and getting to know each other. Everyone spends a good deal of their waking hours at their job, so it's a big part of someone's life. I like to hear about what they do - and I like to ask, do you like it and why or why not? I talk about my work all the time.
 theavengingangel
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 231
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:43:47 AM
It's a very natural question. What you do for a living is a part of who you are. Using your logic in reverse , men may want to know if you are a stable person and are not looking to have some guy take care of you. You would not want to be dating a 40 year old guy who is jobless and living in moms basement.
 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 233
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:34:43 AM
It's a common question to ask to start a conversation along with "what are your interests", "do you hang out here ( the place where you met the other person ) often", "where do you live" etc. These things may not define a person. But sometimes it could give some insight about a person.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 235
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:12:20 AM

Amen Gradgirl ! I spend 40 hours a week at my job. It is challenging and I am proud of what I do. He better ask me about it.

So is your job the way that you define yourself as a person?
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 238
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:14:40 AM

My job doesn't define me,


This might be true in some cases, i.e. someone working at a job while looking for some other type of employment or while going to school, but regardless of the protestation, I have come to see that we ARE defined in many ways by our jobs.

We do not take a second glance at a 17 year old (or even a senior citizen) taking our order at McDonald's because we understand that 17 year olds need job experience and this is where he/she starts; a retired person often has few options for employment. However, if I see an able bodied 40 year old male or female taking my order (as opposed to being a manager), I think that person has a lack of ambition, education, or other negative factors. I realize that sounds biased, but I am not the only one who fairly automatically thinks such.

I worked at Wal Mart for two years before I went back to school to get my MA, and from that experience, I know firsthand about lack of experience, drive, and education from working with other "associates." Most of the people with whom I worked were not happy in their jobs, but they stayed for various reasons, consistently complaining.

Beyond that, why do we choose the jobs we choose? People who are satisfied with their jobs are usually those who work at professions that fit their interests and abilities. I teach English, but I would NOT be happy teaching math or science. My choice of job does define me, or I define my job by my choice: I am literate, well-read, write well, and I know where to put a comma. I have also have good interpersonal skills that allow me to interact positively with my students.

Of course, there are people with degrees in English stacking produce in bins at Wal Mart; some are there by choice, others because they can't use the degree--who is happy? I just had an email from a man who owns an auto repair shop, yet I can tell, he is not the laconic, monosyllabic mechanic who changed my oil the last time. Every person needs to be looked at on an individual basis, but by and large, I am not going to get involved with someone who takes my order at McD's or cleans the bathrooms at Wal Mart.

I also know from experience how life is for people who hate their jobs because my ex husband hated his. The first words out of his mouth on arriving home in the evening was how bad he hated what he did. Blah, blah, blah . . . yet he refused to seek another job. Did he like misery?


I'm coaching basketball this fall; that should define me. I love the game and I'm excited to build a winning team. It shows ambition.


It does define you, but so does your job--at which you spend more time. Coaching basketball doesn't show as much ambition as working at a job one really enjoys.

My opinion, of course.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 239
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 3:32:00 PM
I haven't dated in a long time since I have gotten very sick with my diabetes and have somewhat of a disability and wonder where this all fits in with the profession question? I am not working because even walking is excrutiatingly painful at times, but even with all of that, I have enrolled in some classes at school and go and learn in subjects that I am interested in and want to advance myself. I worked from age 15 till 34 and half of that was retail while I was in college and the other half was in computer jobs as I acquired skills. I think that just trying to get out there and do what you are passionate about is far more interesting than how many benjamins you have in your pocket, and to that end, I have never made friends or dated based on a monetary amount and would be insulted to even think that a man has to "provide" for me. That's not his job, no matter how bad I have it. I will always go to a date with some of my own money and enjoy his company, not what I expect from him. I think it's important to find out people's journeys, be they through a career or some other path, not to judge based on it. I would date someone who worked at Mcd's or Wal-mart because as my father says, "honest work is honest work". And plus, I like that line in Bruce Almighty where Morgan Freeman says, "Some of the happiest people in the world go home stinking to high heaven at the end of the day" or something like that. It's just my two cents, but I won't let money define me. And I don't just say that now because of my health and lack of funds. I said it when I had a great job as well. I'd rather have my health back any day instead of any high amount. Money isn't happiness.
 Amma63
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 240
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 3:38:21 PM
Well, I can't speak for you as you are still young.

I get asked, because in my age bracket (the gentlemens age bracket also) - I think

1 - they don't want to be financially responsible for yet ANOTHER person........
2 - it really is a good ice breaking question...........regardless of age...............

OP - don't read too much into that question........it's an honest question...........
 Janet4ever
Joined: 4/14/2008
Msg: 243
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 4:22:50 PM
I think those that have suggested an ulterior motive are a bit paranoid...

To ask someone "what do you do" is more common in the everyday world than any other question...
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 247
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:27:12 PM
I really do not need to try to have a relationship with anyone who is too preoccupied with money and status than they are with getting to know who I am and in building a personal relationship with me. To me, 'class' is not something you attain with money, but rather it is the way that you hold yourself and treat those around you. After all, isn't it a human 'being' that you fall in love with and not a human 'doing'?


It's what's inside that counts because that's what will determine what you make of yourself and your situation, not the other way around. My worth no longer depends on how and if I can perform, but my worth governs how and if I will perform lol.

This is a very European way of thinking. Not surprising since they had generally worked at least 20-25% less hours than the typical American; during their free time work is seldom the topic of conversation. Their quality of life is based upon their personal interests as opposed to how they sustain themselves.
 evrybdy
Joined: 12/14/2005
Msg: 248
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:15:11 PM
Hi Scorpion 66!
well, the stripping profession is probably one I wouldn't quite understand one going into, but I would be willing to listen to them though.lol As for short periods of employment, they could be independent contractors or working in temp jobs and since I have been there many times, I wouldn't judge that. Really, it's not for me to judge until I get to know the person. Everyone's story is different. The "honest work" thing was in reference to all jobs are with merit, no matter how many 0' behind the first number. And some may not be able to work jobs, through health issues, laid off or whatnot, taking care of parents. I believe if I love someone, taking care of them is part of the deal. Of course I don't project that far ahead when I meet someone, as it could just be a great friend, acquaintence, etc. And that means they might only think of me that way, not my judgment of them. I guess what I am saying is I want to get to know them, and I don't want dollar signs as part of that, nor status. The poorest person can be the richest person, if you know what I mean. =)

M
 androgynousvon
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 249
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:02:11 PM
Another can't bite my tongue thread! OK, I find it immensely ironic all these guys are "beechin" about some gal not wanting to divulge her profession. Hey guys....aren't you the same posters who claim time and again you don't care about a woman's job or education as long as she looks good? Um...you can't have it both ways...either you care or you don't. Fact of the matter is: we ALL (both genders) care about BOTH looks AND education/career. The only people don't care about a man or woman's education/career are those people who have crap for education/careers. In a nutshell, baby...it's BOTH looks AND education/career...one without the other and there's no interest in the person. Let's stop being hypocrites here and be truthful for once....geez!!!!!!
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 251
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:30:40 AM

So why does it matter if they are taking care of themself. Not everyone wants to reach higher goals some people just want to make enough to live on. Maybe there ambition is to be the best they can at they the job they do.

There's a lot to say for a person who's content (not to be confused with complacent).
 Remagine
Joined: 5/17/2006
Msg: 254
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 9/16/2008 3:04:26 PM
It's just a conversation starter...don't try to read anything into it.
 CMonster
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 256
Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:24:00 PM

I agree. It's a totally innocent question to ask someone to get the dialogue rolling.

Call me strange but I'd be much more interested in a woman who'd ask me what I did for fun rather than what I do for a living. It's hard to beleive that people can't think up something more interesting to ask than "So, what do you do for a living."
 dannyr0697
Joined: 9/23/2006
Msg: 259
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 3/4/2009 8:30:38 AM
Msg.#181

They are looking for sugar mamas. It's the same reason they are looking for someone with a house, a car, a big paycheck, no bills. They want somebody to take care of them. Just my thoughts.



Glad you gave us a glimpse of your inner thoughts...........NEXT!!!
Men are tought to show interest in a womans life, ask questions about her interests, activities, and yes, work. Besides, whether I was tought it or not, if I was interested in a woman, I'd want to know all about her. All the facets of her life that make her what she is.
It's this type of cynicism that is going to keep you single and cynical missy.


L8TR
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 261
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Why do men ask me what do I do for a living?
Posted: 3/4/2009 12:54:26 PM
Could be for several reasons:

Yes, he just wants to use you for your money.

He wants to make sure you're making your own money so you don't need his.

Similar careers give you something in common to talk about.

Wants to make sure you're anything but a hooker.

Could be any number of things! Why don't you ask the bloke "why do you ask?"?
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