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 Celticmist
Joined: 2/1/2005
Msg: 3
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were YoungPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
what she said^^^^


with humorous, intelligent, kindly eyes
 OldFolkie
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 4
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Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/16/2008 7:34:38 PM
Starry, I have to agree completely. A few pounds overweight, or the effect of gravity and time on us are nothing compared to the wisdom in the eyes and the life in the smile. I am not one of those men who hunts for younger women. What the hell would I have to talk to them about? My taste in art, music, philosophy, the way the world works or should work are very unlikely to be shared with some sweet young thing. I like a woman who shares some interests and has interests to share that are in tune with who we are now. So, yes....I'll admit that I will look at the young thing with the perky thighs when she walks by, but not with lust, more like admiring fine art. And just as I would not find much of interest in reading about the lifestyles of today's 20-somthings, I would find the experiences of a life lived as long as my own to be fascinating. Appearance comes in a distant second to the stories told in the lines, scars and eyes of a mature woman.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 8
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Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/17/2008 12:07:50 PM
OP - that was way too funny with the fella in the store. Kuddos for you!! No matter what age we are, we'll always admire youth and beauty. There's always fascination with the "finer" beings in life or the "finer things" in life. By the same token, we may feel like we're 31, yet when we take a look in the mirror, we see our true selves. A little less perfect than in our 20's. That's the beauty of nature. Would we really want to look EXACTLY the way we did when we were 21? I think not. In life, there's always the Law of Gravity and Murphy's Law. As humans, we need to embrace aging, welcome it with open arms (beats the alternative),and take what we do have, and work with it. A lot of older people can dress very well, and because they have a great outfit on, or an awesome hair style, I guarantee, you don't notice the "age" as much.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 21
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Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:51:30 PM
This one guy sent me an email and when I checked out his profile one of the pictures showed him shirtless with a belly that looked about eight months pregnant. Maybe it was mean of me, but I replied that I wasn't interested in unhealthy men with big guts, and that I have three kids and a flat stomach.

Appearances and health are related. Yes, I know it can be hard to lose weight, especially if you're a woman, but it's unhealthy to carry a lot of extra pounds, and when I do find someone I want to be with for the rest of my life I want them to be health conscious, doing their best.

By the way, if a woman posted a picture of herself showing a huge naked gut, like if she were in a bikini, you can bet most men would find it unappealing.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 26
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Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:12:01 AM
OK, so maybe it was mean of me to tell the guy I wasn't into men with hugely pregnant bellies, and now I wish I hadn't deleted the email he sent me, but it was one of those "I'm really hot, check me out" kind of notes. I agree with the person above who said that genetics has a lot to do with how "well" we age, and I know I'm lucky, but I also exercise an hour a day and eat well- and a lot.

Appearance includes so many factors, how we carry ourselves, how we move, our facial expressions, attitude. I wrote another guy that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he somehow had never heard that line and didn't get what I meant.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 27
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Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:46:46 AM
Reminds me of a couple of weeks ago. You know, the usual construction site as I drove by! *sigh*....What was it I was gonna say? Dayum, I forgot!
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 28
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/19/2008 9:24:37 AM
Ahh funny thing happened this weekend..
My young daughter looked at pictures of me..
her comment of me at 18 was..gee dad you look like one of those beatle guys!...
yea the 1964 beatles..the hair and beard didn't come along until late 60s..lol
I was 155 lbs of bright eyed innocence and full of passion to conquer the world..
So to answer directly the question, I'm trying to get fit once again, I try to dress better unless it's painting or digging etc..
I own 12 suits and wear them as much as I can..no grey yet but I do hilight my hair as it is getting darker every year..
Teeth impeccable, breathe always fresh..never know when you may get kissed..
Shoes..shined and ready for that special occasion..daily tennis shoes..lol
Saturday I said hello to a woman in menards..got a drop dead look and a frown..and a cold back to watch speeding away..
All we can do is try our best..
dusty



 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 30
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/21/2008 5:53:37 PM
Appearance means nothing to me, I have several people I have been talking to who I have no clue what they look like. Didnt seem important. The best looking guy can be the biggest bore.

I do notice someone's appearance for other reasons...one guy I met, his eyes were yellow and he looked 9 months pregnant..I really liked him but when he finished off a bottle of wine in less than 30 minutes and I still had a full glass I was really concerned about his health. His liver isnt long for this world. I also like someone who takes care of their teeth, yes I know some had medications that caused their teeth to yellow etc but teeth are a good indication of how someone takes care of themselves. I dont care if a man has a full head of hair or is bald, or if he has a tan or not....if he is happy in his skin, confident in his abilities and knows who he is...that is all i want.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 31
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/21/2008 6:39:13 PM

tall, full head of hair (even today at 84, snow white, it is a full head of hair)


Well my dad was bald, and had been since his teens (my mom never knew him with hair) -- This is *our* family joke:

A couple a men were having lunch. One dude with a full head of hair, the other bald. The topic turned to hair, and and non-bald one said how glad he was to have hair. The other said: "Well, God only gives you so much testosterone. If you want to use yours to grow hair, fine."

In fact, male pattern baldness is one response to high levels of testosterone. Something some women have known for long. . . .


 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 38
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 9/19/2008 5:34:55 PM
Although I still swim in the shallow end of the dating pool, I prefer to swim in the deep end when it is available to me. The better the connection, the better the sex at this stage in my life. Although appearance is not everything appearance is still the first cut. I do not expect women in their midthirties to midforties to look 18-20 years old but I do find those I date to have been taking care of themselves and looking good for their ages.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 51
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 10/1/2008 4:49:07 PM

I spend way much more time on myself than I did when I was in my 20's.


...Isn't that the truth....now I have to work so much harder to achieve that "au naturele" look that I took so much for granted when I was younger.


...maeflowers
 rd1955
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 52
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Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:00:34 PM
Of course appearanace doesn't mean as much now as it did years ago, but it still matters. Being a relatively small man at 5'5", 150#, I find myself most attracted to petite women. Unfortunately women that are under 5'5" and thin are in tremendous demand by men of all sizes, so my odds are not very good (no need to go on about how women prefer tall men, we all know the laws of nature). I'd be willing to date women my height or taller, but I hesitate to even contact a woman who was say 5'7" because she'd probably tell me to quit wasting her precious time (some people can be very rude callign short men runts, handicapped, defective, etc). I have been approached by a number of short women who are quite overweight, say 200 to 250 #, but I just don't find them attractive or respect them if they don't take care of themselves (I work out 6 days a week). Laugh lines, frown lines, a few pounds, stretch marks...that's part of aging. I find many women my age or older very attractive.
 dustyknight
Joined: 9/14/2006
Msg: 58
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 2/11/2009 6:45:43 AM
vrb1955 that goes for both sexes..belly hang over, bad bra fit where 1/2 of your breast pushes out the top, dentures that dont fit, enough red lipstick to paint a barn on their lips, eyebrows painted on 2" above your eyes, jeans 2 sizes smaller you need to lay down and put them on damp so you can get them over your 50 yr old hips, good manners..great hygiene and clothes that aren't from the 60s wardrobe.
Appearance says much more about a person than the money you spend on clothing..
Men..wear suits more, cut that 60s long hair, no tennis shoes don't work with a armani suit. jeans are great for casual but "cleaning up" for work or play will get you noticed much more.
If you are 50 or 55 or even 60 then act and dress like you are..it's plain classy!...you don't look younger because you wear teen clothes..just an older lady/man in kids clothes..this doesn't mean you need to act old..just use common sense in your dress ...you'll be much more attractive to all. IMHO
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 66
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 2/16/2009 9:40:01 PM
Appearance is still the first cut as it always has been. After all, a normal man wants to have sex with a woman with whom he hopes to become romantically involved. If he is not physically attracted to her she is a potential friend, not a potential lover.
 Wildfire Flame
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 67
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:53:47 PM
I do not have the body of a 23 year old, nor the mindset either.
I like what I am now best of all and that is the secret accepting yourself and others for what they are, beautiful human beings with a little wear around the edges.
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