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 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 88
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My spin on this is that at our age 40 plus alot of guys are probably assuming that because we've been there, done that we aren't going to waste time with the whole slow dating process. You stick to your morals until you find the "right" one.
 Benjamin1075
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 89
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:31:41 AM
"Is it me? am I abnormal?"

Are you abnormal because men want to have sex with you?


I'm pretty sure that's what most women have to deal with. That's why ya'll usually get to dictate the pace of a relationship early on.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 90
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:39:44 AM

Sex is honestly pretty easy to come by.


Incorrect.


Finding someone you really click with and see as a kindred spirit is not


Correct.

Truth of the matter, finding someone to be sexual with is terribly challenging for some people. If you add the requirement of the mutual click it becomes nearly impossible.
 Droleci
Joined: 4/21/2004
Msg: 91
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 8:44:30 AM

are you serious?? WOW, that is just nuts and weird. actually surprised you would date someone for that long without any type of sex. i know i wouldn't and couldn't last that long.


Being with someone who's company that I enjoyed and had hope that she would eventually open up on that level is vastly superior to the vast stretchs of guaranteed celibacy caused by singleness that both proceeded and followed that experience.

I don't feel like I have much power or choice or control when it comes to being able to experience shared sexuality.
 Urbanessa
Joined: 8/15/2007
Msg: 92
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 12:56:50 PM
I am certainly not advocating jumping in the sack before both peeps are ready to do so, and I am somewhat repelled by anyone who thinks he or she needs to date by some weird rules. But women that are playing hard to get strike me as odd. It would raise the red "she's playing some power-freakish game with you" flag.

What's wrong with getting naked with a man if you are physically attracted to him? I don't get it. It's not the timing of having sex that defines a slvt - it's the reason that does.
 JonnyBoy239
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 93
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:05:06 PM
I fail to see how sex is hard to come by, for ANY human, living in even a moderate sized city. :confused:
 telcoman123
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 94
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:11:52 PM
Simple answer...becasue they can....

I am also new to this scene and I am a man. Not that I am looking for a quick hook-up..there are places i can go for that... but chemistry is chemistry. I don't want to have sex with every woman I go out with, but sometimes the fires are burnin...lol

We are all adults here, if a woman and a man want to have sex on thier first date then power to them. The problem comes in when having sex means more to one or the other...that is the big trap...I have learned to be careful with that one!

If you want to wait then wait, if he doesn't then he can move along. If he isn't willing or able to wait then perhaps he is not the right one for you!

Best of luck!
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 95
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:21:18 PM

I fail to see how sex is hard to come by, for ANY human, living in even a moderate sized city.


Lemme see if I've figured out your meaning...

Woman wants sex: Go to bar, announce willingness to have sex. Pick from the volunteers.

Guy wants sex: Go to bank, withdraw $1-200, hire hooker.

Yeah, I suppose sex isn't that hard to come by.
 JonnyBoy239
Joined: 6/18/2007
Msg: 96
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:26:22 PM
You act like human sexuality is akin to Black Widow mating habits.

I control my own sexuality. Feel pretty sorry for those that won't, don't or can't.
 bk0x45
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 97
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:54:36 PM
JB: I'm not the one who claimed sex is easy to come by for anyone. That would include those who are neither attractive, rich, powerful, nor famous. (Those would be the top priorities among women, at least as evidenced by their actions rather than their stated preferences.) Sex is really not 'easy to come by' for a guy. Even players have to work at it.
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 98
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 2:49:33 PM

(aka1961) I would really like to hear from a mans point of view here if possible


Sure. But, I'd like to answer your question with one of my own:

Why do (most) women seem to think that there's something shameful, nasty and dirty about sex?

Arlö
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 99
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:06:56 PM
(aka1961) Ahh. So why is it that even though I always pay my share of the meal, the guy STILL feels that he is entitled to more??


What's this "entitled to more" crap? Is HE the only one who's getting anything out of sex?

Geezus, get over yourself! Sex is a MUTUALLY ENJOYABLE experience (or it should be), not some sort of shameful degradation that a man wants to visit upon a woman! Nor is it the woman FINALLY consenting to commit some odious act to FINALLY gift some poor schlub!

Arlö *riggen*ratz*a*fratz*mumble*grumble*narfin*snarfin...
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 100
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:14:17 PM

(bk0069) Lemme see if I've figured out your meaning...

Woman wants sex: Go to bar, announce willingness to have sex. Pick from the volunteers.

Guy wants sex: Go to bank, withdraw $1-200, hire hooker.

Yeah, I suppose sex isn't that hard to come by.


He said it was easy to come by. He didn't say it was free. There's a difference.

Arlö (kids these days...)
 WantaSmart1
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 101
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 3:42:48 PM
Thanks for sort of defining "early" and "early on" in your previous posts.
A month of dating seems reasonably long enough to know if you want to continue a relationship. For some guys a month is an eternity.

As for every guy you go out with wanting sex early on...could if have to do with the profile info that you have up? I noticed that you're posting here under a user name specifically for the forums.

What does your "dating" persona's profile say? Could that have something to do with it? Are your pictures - if you have any there - even remotely suggestively posed?
What do you have for your reason for being here under that other ID? Long-term? Dating? "Other"? Maybe attracting the wrong type of guys?

Hard to answer without knowing that info first.

On the other hand, the guys you happen to date may simply be so-long deprived that any date they are chosen for is their internal "go ahead" to put the moves on you ASAP. May want to screen them a bit better in that case.
 Katir
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 103
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/21/2008 6:53:35 PM
I believe that since women's lib guys are able to get sex much easier than they used to.

They don't have to have a relationship anymore to enjoy sex for it's own sake.

Unfortunately, since you are the type of person to want a solid relationship first, then there's going to be guys like that.

Who cares? Honestly they are doing you a favor by leaving early whether they mean to or not.

It's better to have the right guy, than a guy right now, would you agree?
 tall.cold.1
Joined: 10/18/2006
Msg: 104
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:35:46 AM

bk0069 wrote: JB: I'm not the one who claimed sex is easy to come by for anyone. That would include those who are neither attractive, rich, powerful, nor famous. (Those would be the top priorities among women, at least as evidenced by their actions rather than their stated preferences.) Sex is really not 'easy to come by' for a guy. Even players have to work at it.

There are guys out there who don't (or won't) work, who live at home with their mothers, who have a huge gut, and they don't seem to have a problem attracting women, so a guy doesn't necessarily have to be attractive, rich, powerful, or famous to attract women.
 pontus6
Joined: 12/24/2004
Msg: 105
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:56:47 AM
For some sex is a big deal and for others it is just filling the need we all have for a little intimacy like eating when we are hungry. It depends much on our level of experience but is either right or wrong? Are we not damed if we do it and also damed if we don't do it? If we don't eat we starve and if we do we risk food addiction or stomach pains. There is always some misunderstanding of the other persons interest so who's fault is that? Most of us don't even know what our own interest is till we try but we are all born hungry. Love is the most misunderstood word because it can not be defined. As soon as we say what it is then it is that and then no longer love. I just feel sad for those who think they know what they want and what they don't want before they even look or try. Maybe it is good to moderate indulgence a bit though? As for me I am happy with a nice kiss or two.
 LemonVision
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 106
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:37:58 AM
Stop tarring us all with the same brush :(

I'm not like that, and nor are most of the guys I know. I only know one who'd do this, and he'd be honest with the person concerned about his intentions if he did.
 LemonVision
Joined: 5/2/2008
Msg: 107
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/24/2008 2:15:53 PM
Well, I do think there's something pretty unpleasant about sex with someone I don't see myself having a future with... I just couldn't do it. Just a reminder, we're not all like you :S
 superbadzzz
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 108
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2008 4:40:29 PM
why do women always want to talk so early in a relationship? they date you for a couple weeks and then want to know private things like your name.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 109
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:33:57 PM
As someone who has dated for 25+ years without ever having gotten married, about all I can say is that dating has changed a LOT in that time. If you haven't dated in 12 years, dating is not going to be the same as you remember it. Although guys typically have always wanted sex early on, you'll probably find guys are more upfront about it now.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 110
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:42:39 PM

(2) Pragmatically, if someone's really THAT into you, whether sex is early or later in a relationship will have no effect.


On the contrary, I have to wonder if someone is all that into me if she doesn't want to have sex with me.
 Zapotocky
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 111
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why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/25/2008 5:52:29 PM
Well, there are several reasons. The biggest is that men feel that sex per se is a good thing. They also believe that the more they use their sexual equipment, the better their sexual functioning and their health in general will be. And they want to make sure you are not a sex-rationer.

One larger issue to bear in mind is that men have a different outlook on relationships than women do. Men enter intimate relationships because of the things they do with their partner, which if they are lucky includes plenty of sex. And, the more sex the better--- especially if it is good sex. Women do thinsg with their partner for the sake of being in an intimate relationship... and they often believe that it is wasteful to have sex with him more often than absolutely necessary to keep him around.
 Erik da Viking
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 112
why do men always want sex so early in a relationship?
Posted: 8/26/2008 4:29:34 AM

(zapotocky) Well, there are several reasons. The biggest is that men feel that sex per se is a good thing.


*blink*blink* You mean, it isn't???


One larger issue to bear in mind is that men have a different outlook on relationships than women do. Men enter intimate relationships because of the things they do with their partner, which if they are lucky includes plenty of sex. And, the more sex the better--- especially if it is good sex. Women do thinsg with their partner for the sake of being in an intimate relationship... and they often believe that it is wasteful to have sex with him more often than absolutely necessary to keep him around.


We have a name for women like that -- single.

Arlö
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