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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?      Home login  
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 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 277
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?Page 11 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
Holy poo poo (I wouldn't want to offend any cherubic old farts on this thread), I finally read peerless' profile.

What the heck ??

Where did you get that kind of insulting anger? Talk about a belittling diatribe against women. I hope you find the little wallflower you deserve, and she takes you for anything you have left.

Excuse me, I have to go vomit now.
 koko1204
Joined: 3/27/2013
Msg: 278
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/30/2013 8:56:33 PM
Finally finding my soul mate.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 279
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:12:00 AM
Freud do you realize how asinine you are starting to sound making assumptions . I payed support for 7 years until I was able to get my son back ,that whole time spent fighting in court to get him back .She never payed , because some one working under the table , basically invisible income . The steward issue you seem so confused with . Must be you do not know what a hard days work is ? I was not a steward on a ship , or a castle steward , but a union steward (defending other workers rights) and a regular occupational hazard was being attacked by dogs . And back to being a union steward , had to do the same job as every one else plus having the privilege of being their union steward . Don't think your assumptions could have been any farther off . Think your age maybe starting to show , you are starting to ramble a little .
to the poster below , any one who works under the table , their income is invisible . Child support is based on previous years tax returns .No return = no support , unless the person is working at a normal job at the time support is sought . Both genders use that tactic to avoid paying child support .Only reason more men default than women is the number of men who are supposed to pay are much larger than the number of women , but the percentages . 26.9 % of men totally default on support while at same time 46.9% of women totally default on support .Those were the national percentages from 2012 .
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 280
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:22:59 AM
Hiding income is not exclusive to women in child support matters, in fact, the term "dead beat" daddy was coined after numerous men quit their jobs just to avoid paying child support. Although it does happen with women, I do not think carry a lifetime grudge against all women would be a good way of dealing with the problem. I see so much anger and hatred towards women from 2 of the male posters. I wonder why all women are seen as the problem when in fact more men default on child support than women do. I also do not see the connection with never marrying anyone because one woman or one man did something very wrong. After reading this entire post I hope there are still a few men left who do not blame women for all the ills of the world.
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 281
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:39:10 AM
Funny, I was a shop steward in a shipyard, and I never remember it as a hazardous duty....and then I was a local union president in the Professional Employee's Union and that was far from hazardous duty...but, what I do remember from all my activities as a union rep is that even union reps had certian capabilities...some were good and some were not.


And back to being a union steward , had to do the same job as every one else plus having the privilege of being their union steward



Don't think your assumptions could have been any farther off .


Geepers...when you wrote steward it confused me too...and I was a union rep for many years...if you had written "shop steward"...we would have known exactly what you refered to...

You mean...kind of like every other union rep in America.



She never payed , because some one working under the table , basically invisible income
Hiding income is not exclusive to women in child support matters


She must have been making gobs of money under the table...


After reading this entire post I hope there are still a few men left who do not blame women for all the ills of the world.


I'm still reading my 10000000000000000 page "handbook" on understanding women...I'm already up to page 10000....sigh.
 Proteaus
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 282
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:45:31 AM
Hey Big , try walking from house to house with a mail bag and see how hazardous it is . First time a great dane breaks his chain and charges you , you will remember along time . I remember being at the Coast Guard yards in Baltimore for a time , you yardbirds had it real tough lol .
Looking below . LOL . No comparison to doing a little paper route and going out there and walking 10+ miles in every type of weather mother nature can throw at you , every work day .
Go cut across lawns knee deep in snow all day and tell me it was easy . I grew up on a dairy farm and delivering mail was much harder physically than stacking hundred pound bails of hay all day . Starting to wonder if you actually know what a hard days work is . I remember the yard workers were more concerned with finding a place to hide and sleep than getting work done when I was there .
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 283
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:51:00 AM
You are a hoot...If I were Alex Trebek I'd sell you a clue...


First time a great dane breaks his chain and charges you , you will remember along time


I also delivered the newspaper as a boy or a few years...I survived without a scratch...it was soooo much harder than shipyard work...
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 284
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 7:53:57 AM
When I delivered papers, I found the wire haired terriers to be more problematic. The one I had to deal with didn't bark and charge straight at you, he silently circled around and tried to bite the back of your leg.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 285
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 8:45:48 AM
Some people are left so pennyless they can not afford an attorney which is why some end up with less than nothing in a divorce. After a few years away from the divorce, I would think most people begin to heal and move on. Reading some of this posts makes me wonder why some are getting so stuck in the hatred and anger. I have to wonder how the children involved in these messes survive all the anger and hatred?
I am divorced and I do not think i got even close to half of the assets, but life went on anyway. I do not hate my ex husband and I do not think about who got more or who did better anymore. We both survived and moved on with our lives and what happened is over and done with now. I think carrying all that hatred and anger must be hard. I had more important things to focus on and I learned to be happy with all I had, not sad for the things I did not.
As for the who's job is worse? Are they serious?
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 286
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 8:57:49 AM

Some people are left so pennyless they can not afford an attorney which is why some end up with less than nothing in a divorce. After a few years away from the divorce, I would think most people begin to heal and move on.


Not everyone has something to move on to. I knew my history prior to my marriage, and I also knew that now that my looks have gone that things would be even worse. I came here trying to be optimistic and upbeat, but my prior expectations were quickly reinforced. Yes, I am sad and angry at that fact; people who are consistently viewed as unworthy usually are (unless they just don't have the capacity to realize they are viewed that way).
 BigBadNIrish
Joined: 1/31/2011
Msg: 287
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:13:53 AM

I came here trying to be optimistic and upbeat, but my prior expectations were quickly reinforced. Yes, I am sad and angry at that fact;


Listen...attitude is everything to anyone who's not an adonis or venus here in on line dating (OLD)...and even then if you think a good attitude is going to make the first 5, 10, 20, 100 women or men fall all over you...well, you're wrong...it's a numbers game and many of us havbe to reach out to many of the opposite sex before we even get to meet n greet someone....sometimes it happens on the first contact- like 1-1000000000000 time's.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 288
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 11:02:14 AM

The thing is, when you deem yourself "unworthy", you forget to see how others see you. I see a man with a kind face, warm eyes and strong arms - and that is first glance at the outside. This is enough to make many want to know the inside as well. It's a start. View yourself through different eyes, quit focusing on the flaws and focus on the positive. Heal the inside, move on, realize that life IS worth participating in, step outside the box and your comfort zone. Someone will find you perfect for them. All you need is one. And you are NOT unworthy.


I cannot tell you how nice it was to hear your description of me. It has literally brought me to tears. I do not deem myself unworthy, but rather normally hear it from others. After enough of that kind of treatment, it is very difficult to not start taking it to heart. Sure, I always hear the "there is someone for you" and "it will come when you least expect it", but it has been 7 years and there has been nothing. And when I make an effort here, I get ridicule for being disabled, overweight, and for wanting what I want in a woman physically. Thank you for looking past those things (or at least not mentioning them).

As for the hobbies and other distractions, my depression makes that very difficult for me. My project car was the one thing I was certain would help me get past all of this; it didn't. Recently I purchased my mother's condo from my sisters (bought out their share as part of her estate) and I have caught a bit of the remodel bug; we'll see how long that lasts. I am just going to have to accept that the woman I would want just doesn't exist for me; I thought that I had her, but even she changed.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 289
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 12:07:36 PM

Galv-Girl: I’m 45 and still believe in the fairy tale. I'm a little saddened that so many think its strange.


To live that fairy tale, would you willing to do that without marriage-a common law situation-or would you require that marriage be part of that fairy tale? I think for the 45 plus group. a lot of people don't see marriage as necessary as when you're in your 20's and getting married for the first time. I think that's one of the reasons why a lot of middle age people aren't hooking up-some are husband/wife hunting and scaring off people who aren't as desperate for a marriage ceremony right away.

I'm not totally opposed to the idea of re-marrying some day if the right partner comes along, but I avoid those who reek of desperation for wedding bells. I see that in a lot of women's profiles. The wedding is more important to them than who they marry. Young people make that mistake all of the time, but by the time you're in your second half of life, you should have a clue about what marriage is about, and should realize it's not exactly the same as the fairy tale endings in Disney movies.
 Freudian
Joined: 3/15/2010
Msg: 290
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 3:00:45 PM

Freud do you realize how asinine you are starting to sound making assumptions

Nope, I don't. I take what you say and draw a logical conclusion from it. You want people to understand you, say something complete. Else, you get the reputation of being a sea-going bellhop that walks dogs part time.

I don't mind my age showing; at least it's not my angry incoherent rambling confusing people.

So, a gal ripped you off? Good for her.

And, nope, I never, ever did a hard day's work. I let the bell hop carry my bags up to the hotel room for me ; then later, I let them walk my rotty. I love stiffing them on the tip.
 seafoodandeatit
Joined: 12/23/2011
Msg: 291
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 3:28:03 PM
Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
well let me see the first one failed because we were both to young, the second she was there for the money and got most of it!!
so what would make me do it a 3rd time , a shotgun to the back of the head, or Jolie in a G.string!
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 292
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 3:31:56 PM
What would compell me to marry after age 45?
Ummm-early-onset dementia? An Act of Congress? Threat of eviction from the planet?
Actually, I loved being married,but I have also come to realize that being single or semi-single has it's rewards.
While I rule nothing out, much as I loved being married, I'm leaning more towards the non-cohabiting type of relationship, at this stage of the game.
As far as I've ever been able to tell, everybody loses in a divorce. (except maybe the lawyers)

And, once one gets past 45, I think that the time and opportunity to recover(finances, emotions, practical matters) should a marriage or cohabiting relationship fail, need to be factored in, you may not have 30+ years to recoup. There is NO guarantee that being married or in a LTR is going to protect you from growing old alone. People need to realize that they need to plan their later years with an honest realization that they may be unpartnered in those years. That way, if something amazing turns up, it can be appreciated as the sheer GIFT that it is-not a means of rescue.
I really expect to see quite an upturn among the 45+ crowd, of non-cohabiting LTRs , or people simply developing an alternative support system(in terms of social and practical matters, not financial support!) rather than putting all hopes and effort into securing another pair-bonding relationship.
Cindy O
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 293
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 5:49:13 PM
How sad and tainted so many people seem to be on forums. I have been reading this post and a few others and it seems to me there are several people who have either lost all hope or are so scarred by their past relationships they seem unable and unwilling to even try. I am not sure if some people are trying to be funny or they are sincere when they write some of the things I have read. I think the world would be a lonely place for any of the people who are posting on here. I am divorced, but not forever scarred by it. In fact, I think the opposite of what many here say. I am not sure I would marry again, but I would live with a man again. I enjoy having someone to come home to, to do things with and sleep with. I would think its would be virtually impossible to meet anyone with the negative attitudes I have seen in these forums. I would guess more women are turning these men down because of what they say, more than because of how they look. I would run screaming int the other direction of some of the depressed and angry men who write in these forums, not because of how they appear, but because of how scarred and damaged they are.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 294
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:36:13 PM
For a couple of years after my last divorce, I wore a DDIA ring (DON'T DO IT AGAIN). Mostly because I didn't trust *me* to be picking a mate, lol! Couple of years of that, and I got courted into another long-term type relationship. Adored the boy, but hell pretty much would have needed to freeze over before I'd have legally gotten involved in his financial mess. We parted friends. Next time, five years later was pretty much the one I'd waited for my whole life. We managed a little over three years from start until his death. He didn't want to be married, but we did want to be together. So we were. Last love, from PoF wanted to be married, or thought he did, but could never *quite* get his ducks in a row. I ended it after four years.

Future? I have no idea, nor plans in any direction. Options open, hopes roped/tied/gagged! Jus' gonna keep on truckin'. . . .

 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 295
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 3/31/2013 6:56:47 PM
@funny4uwannatry

I am sure that I am one of the damaged people on here that you would run away from. I admit it - I am damaged. Hell, I am on disability, I am so damaged. Like another poster said here, I liked being married. My reason for never marrying again, however, would be different than the other poster's; the risk is too great and the rewards at this point just aren't worth it. I won't be having any more children, and I certainly don't need to lose 72 percent of the 28 percent I had left over after the first marriage. And after seeing how much this supposed loved one can change during a divorce, there is no way of knowing what surprise you will get when the jack in the box pops open.

Yes my world is a lonely place; that is a big part of my problem - I knew it would be. And it is very difficult to accept that something you made your top priority since a young child now looks like it will never be. It makes me seriously question what the point is of continuing - it feels more like just going through the motions.

It would be interesting to see if you still felt the same way about me if you saw me around my friends. I believe that you would think differently of me. Many will rant on here as a method of venting; some just try and get others to understand their viewpoint, and most will never agree. But the atmosphere in the forums is more like a debate than real life.
 Rapunzel1964
Joined: 10/25/2012
Msg: 296
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 4/1/2013 2:58:39 AM
Since Proteus (Syndrome) hates women so much, I think he should do all of woman-kind a favor and join the other team.
 funny4uwannatry
Joined: 12/27/2011
Msg: 297
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 4/1/2013 5:22:29 AM
I have continued to read many of the posts in forums and there seems to be a pattern of women hating and a real lack of forgiveness and acceptance of the past. I have read how many men are playing games with women's hearts like its a kind of trophy or a way to get even with the last woman who hurt them. Men who make fun of women who want to settle down and spend the rest of what is left with their lives with someone they love. Some women as well who write angry and bitter things about men and their lack of trust. Its all so very sad to me. I wish so many people on here could realize that bad times are a part of life, not meant to scar but rather to teach. They are meant to teach us things we need to learn rather than make us hate. For you Mr. P.. I would not want to be around anyone who brings me down or blames women for all the ills of the world. Although forums may be a place to vent, it also shows others who someone is inside. I am not surprised so many people in their late forties and up have broken relationships behind them, I am surprised at how many never work through their own problems and spread their angry on line and towards the people they say they would like to date. I know I do not want to be around such hate, nor would I want to deal with his past. I think we all have been hurt, but some do not seem to know how to move beyond that hurt and are spreading their anger to others, who did not hurt. I do not think I ever intentionally set out to hurt anyone, but it happens. I feel bad when I do hurt people. I know sometimes its hard to imagine that both people have fault in a failed relationship. This does not meant we have the right to spend the rest of our lives spreading hate. I think many people on this site have a lot to learn before they even begin to try and date again. I am not at all surprised now why so many of my dates we such a nightmare. Its hard to around unhappy people without becoming unhappy.
 larry_kzoo_mich
Joined: 3/27/2013
Msg: 298
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 4/1/2013 7:21:08 AM
Personal space gets old with no one around to share it. Personaly who cares about external things at my age. Im 50. I hate being alone.
 motown_cowgirl
Joined: 12/22/2011
Msg: 299
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 4/1/2013 7:32:30 AM
I'd rather agree to six months of anal intercourse with Fidel Castro than get married again. But if we're talking seven months, I'll have to think about it.
 dbiggs69
Joined: 12/12/2010
Msg: 300
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 4/1/2013 11:23:45 AM
What would compell me to marry after age 45?

A court order!!!
 nofeartobeme
Joined: 3/19/2013
Msg: 301
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 4/8/2013 9:05:09 PM
No Tequila makes your clothes fall off. lol
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