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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?      Home login  
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 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 83
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?Page 3 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
I think there are lots of reasons why people stay in relationships. But I find it wrong to continue a relationship with someone if you realize that they are looking for more then you can give them....

But the hurt and frustration comes from knowing what they are looking for is not realistic. My last BF was an aerospace engineer, he thought anyone should be able to long division math problems in their head. We were left and right brain people. He is now dating an accountant, and he's said that he'll never marry her because she's so sexually uptight.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 84
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:26:22 PM
Why would anyone feel compelled to marry at any age? The older we get the more toys we have, the less reason we have to marry.
 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 86
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:39:27 PM

"Why would anyone feel compelled to marry at any age? The older we get the more toys we have, the less reason we have to marry. "


HUH!?? Who equates marriage with having less 'thangs'? Sheesh! My reason for not being compelled to marry again sure isn't because I won't be able to have more 'toys' - if and when I marry again it will be because the two of us have realized that we want to complete that final and ultimate action of giving ourselves to each other.

 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 88
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:56:04 PM

"And it seems to me that the older I get, the more I want to get rid of the things that used to be important to me."


Exactly! I'm right with you there! My attitude probably comes from having moved like 20 times since I was 18!

It's really funny - when my children were growing up I worked hard to have a nice home, decent car, all the amenities to give them the opportunities to participate and learn about playing well with others in this world. All the while, I always told myself that when they were grown, in their own lives, I'd sell everything and just travel the world. Well, they're grown now.

Lately, I've been paring down my 'herd' so to speak, giving stuff away, donating other stuff, giving the kids fair warning that if they don't come sort and pitch thru the stuff they left here MOM was going to do it and there wouldn't be anything left to worry about.

Trip planned for Tasmania next year to go celebrate a 50th with one of my best friends who lives there. Do I want more stuff? NO! Just that much more I have to deal with when I decide to leave and go play!

 nikinikaia
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 89
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 1:59:50 PM

"...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, in leather or naked, with a pocket rocket or with handcuffs, consecrated only with water-based lube, to love and to cherish 'til death do us part or until her batteries need recharging.


LMAO! Happy Pants you have such a wonderful way of putting things in perspective! I choked on a mouthful of nuts when I read that!

 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 90
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What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 4:12:07 PM

What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45
Why for love, of course.......

I don't know what she meant by toys but if it has anything to do with material possessions, I'm not dazzled by material possessions, nor bright shiny objects. All the money and "things" in the world won't make you happy in the longrun.

Marriage is not for everyone, each to their own, is what I always say.
But, I find that many people do not value those vows this day and time.
Those two little words mean a lot.
It's a sacred promise
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 91
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 4:36:17 PM
I just returned from playing for another wedding and the minister quoted this during the ceremony from "Shall We Dance" and I immediately thought of this thread:

"Because we need a witness to our lives... There are a billion people on this planet.. what does anyone's life really mean? But, in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.. the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things.... all of it, all the time, every day.. You're saying.. your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it... your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.."

However in all of my pro-marriage philosophy, I think we have close friends for this reason also.
 Nao_Namorado
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 92
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 5:51:54 PM
1. Re-engineering laws and processes in the in-your-face-prejudiced family/district court system.
2. Living in a non-English-speaking country, speaking their language, with a bright, willing woman who wants to give up her freedom, too.
3. Or...when Hell freezes over.


But, in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything.. the good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things.... all of it, all the time, every day.. You're saying.. your life will not go unnoticed, because I will notice it... your life will not go unwitnessed, because I will be your witness.."
Hey, we've got all the witnesses we'd ever want here in the US. After Congress caved and gave Bushco authority to snoop and spy without warrants...besides, I already care about a lot of people without having to sign up to have my finances illegally seized if I ever pissed off or appear to have stopped caring about the one who co-signed with me.

It's antiquated and we desperately need an answer to marriage, since it's an institution that a lot of social, governmental and civil entities rely upon.
 Tinkerbell201
Joined: 7/25/2007
Msg: 93
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/23/2008 9:08:33 PM
Hum, perhaps I coud have phrased this better, here are some definitions of Compel I found:

1. To drive or urge with force, or irresistibly; to force; to constrain; to oblige; to necessitate, either by physical or moral force.

Wolsey . . . compelled the people to pay up the whole subsidy at once. --Hallam.

And they compel one Simon . . . to bear his cross.
--Mark xv. 21.

2. To take by force or violence; to seize; to exact; to extort. [R.]

Commissions, which compel from each The sixth part of his substance. --Shak.

3. To force to yield; to overpower; to subjugate.

Easy sleep their weary limbs compelled. --Dryden.

I compel all creatures to my will. --Tennyson.

4. To gather or unite in a crowd or company. [A Latinism]
``In one troop compelled.'' --Dryden.

5. To call forth; to summon. [Obs.] --Chapman.

She had this knight from far compelled. --Spenser.

Syn: To force; constrain; oblige; necessitate; coerce. See Coerce.
Compel \Com*pel"\, v. i.
To make one yield or submit. ``If she can not entreat, I can compel.'' --Shak.
 lbiker
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 94
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 12:47:19 AM
HEY NOW ITS FUN
Motown,Cowgirl..get out those bungee cord..you can hold them down.
Mr Happy Pants..Get the EVERYREADY BUNNY OUT>>You gotta catch up to keep them
Hang on its S&M time..Sounds like the Wedding Bells that I heard..Yeah get ready.
Its Marryin time
I will remarry when goes
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 95
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 1:08:47 AM

"...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, in leather or naked, with a pocket rocket or with handcuffs, consecrated only with water-based lube, to love and to cherish 'til death do us part or until her batteries need recharging.




LMAO! Happy Pants you have such a wonderful way of putting things in perspective! I choked on a mouthful of nuts when I read that!


lol every man reading that you choked on a mouthful of nuts had to cringe!!!!!!
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 96
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:01:14 AM
marriage gives the goverment , and a woman (who may happen to be pissed off )
more control over my life.
why would anyone want that ?
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 97
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:03:58 AM
marriage gives the goverment , and a woman (who may happen to be pissed off )
more control over my life.
why would anyone want that ?


We already give them control by filing our taxes. It doesn't matter. Just start hanging with women who aren't so easily "pissed off" maybe? I always wonder what got exwives "pissed off" about to begin with? Do women really just inexplicably turn into the wicked witch of the west or do men sabotage the marriage out of fear?
 Nao_Namorado
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 98
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:44:36 AM
....or do some make unqualified presumptions without uncovering the facts, albeit from one side only?
 deere rancher
Joined: 7/9/2008
Msg: 99
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:52:28 AM
MISS MEWSIC,
no entity of the goverment ( or woman) has of yet dragged me into divorce court or ,chased after me for child support when i have filed single no dependents on my taxes . but they can if you change your marital status or dependents
hence : more control over my life
 ndulj
Joined: 5/27/2007
Msg: 101
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:06:38 PM
Love and that desire to be so close to, so one with, so in tune with that one person that you feel their joys and sorrows more acutely than your own.
It is about the need to care and be cared about.

Just to clarify: I am not some starry eyed romantic. I spent 20 years in a marriage that was maybe one of the worst out there, yet there are parts of that "oneness" that I cherish and miss. Ironically it is mostly the little things, because the big things really sucked.
Point is, yes I would do it all over again for the right man.

In a effing heartbeat.
 ~Twinkle~
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 104
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 9:24:17 PM
"...to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness or in health, in leather or naked, with a pocket rocket or with handcuffs, consecrated only with water-based lube, to love and to cherish 'til death do us part or until her batteries need recharging.




LMAO! Happy Pants you have such a wonderful way of putting things in perspective! I choked on a mouthful of nuts when I read that!


lol every man reading that you choked on a mouthful of nuts had to cringe!!!!!!
LMAO!
I thought I was the only one who's mind was dipping into the gutter! I am glad to know I have company.
Regarding the TOY"S, I always thought you could divest yourself of them, once you were married, the real thing is far better and readily available, or so I have been told.
.
 AgelessWonder
Joined: 4/12/2006
Msg: 105
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:22:37 PM

Regarding the TOY"S, I always thought you could divest yourself of them, once you were married, the real thing is far better and readily available, or so I have been told.


That readily available has a lot to be desired in older men..

Where did I put those batteries?
 ~Twinkle~
Joined: 7/4/2008
Msg: 106
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:08:04 PM
That readily available has a lot to be desired in older men..

Where did I put those batteries?

Oh please don't burst my bubble!

He's supposeta have other parts that work too! What about that magical little blue pill?? Ok I guess I will have to keep one or FIVE toys around, for when I ware him out!! Man talk about a letdown!!
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 108
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:31:20 AM
Nothing............unless I completely lost my mind in which case I wouldn't know what I was doing so that would be ok I think!!!
 sheilapsw
Joined: 6/11/2008
Msg: 109
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 9/2/2008 6:54:17 AM
I think "Gottaaguyfornow" has a good point I never thought about before. Right now, I don't have the desire to remarry. But the "would I be allowed in the ICU" question got me thinking. I work in a nursing home. The only way to protect your rights is paper work. If you each make a living will--stating Power of Attorney and other wishes regarding illnesses and who you want around, I think you'll be OK. Then again, it maybe less complicated to get hitched!
 Ferruginous
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 111
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 9/2/2008 9:23:46 AM
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
The exact same reason that would compell me to marry at any other age:
I love the person. I am certain that I would enjoy spending the rest of my life with her.
and
I'm also quite certain that she feels the same way about me.
 Takmeaziam
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 112
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 9/2/2008 9:57:09 AM
I happen to believe that personal space is not compromised in marriage, and the advantages definitely are more appealing than the disadvantages. I would say my most compelling reason for wanting to marry, is having someone to grow old with. The legal framework in our society has much to be desired, and in dealing with old age, it becomes absurd. While I will find absolute joy in wiping spittle from my husband's face when he can no longer, he will go into old age with dignity, knowing that his wishes, comfort and desires would be honored and respected, whether he knows who I am or not. Because, I am his wife. And he is my husband. I would not want to ever have my children do this for me, as there would be a level of understanding and slice of life missing, that would make my older years more of a burden for them, than a joy.
 WannaCStarz
Joined: 4/5/2007
Msg: 113
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:01:06 AM
A L C O H O L . . . . .!

LOL
How about falling in love ????
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 114
What Would Compell You To Marry After Age 45?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:46:16 AM
"Why not keep your own place and just date exclusively?"


1.Because driving across town just to get some sweet lovin becomes a pain after a while.
2.Because when I am at his place, I am not home.
3.Because when I am at his place I am still a guest.
4.Because when he is at my place he is not home.
5.Because when he is at my place, he is a guest.
6.I'm tired of sleeping alone.
7.Because he doesn't have satelite tv
8.Because he doesn't have high speed internet
9.Because it with the exception of groceries, it would split the cost of living in half for both.
10.Because I don't want to pack an overnight bag every weekend.
12.11.Because I don't want dating to lead to just more dating.
13.Because marriage FOR ME would be the ultimate kind of relationship.
14.I refuse to let other people's jaded view of marriage spoil it for me.
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