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 desert wildflower
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 51
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Well after a 14 year bout of what is called a marriage ( I call it a sentence) I am 16 years into my "NEVER". I guess I really didn`t plan on it to be never, but after round one, I`m just real skeptical about the whole bonding, love, romance, partner thing
in general. I guess if I could ever find a man that I could really trust that his heart was in the right place, and that he really did care about me as a person, I would want him in my life. But those people capable of that are like needles in a haystack. It`s just very rare nowadays to find a partner capable of caring without alterior motives or injurious
interaction. It is safer to stay alone.
 andie66
Joined: 5/27/2008
Msg: 52
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 2:59:11 PM
Been there, done that, got the tshirt which I promptly burned..lol

Seriously...would I get married again?...I cant think of one good reason why it would be necessary to mess up a perfectly functional, happy , healthy realtionship by attaching a piece of paper to it.
If the relationship lasted a very long time it might come to a point that financially it makes sense to become married to protect all interests but other than that why fix what isnt broke..

I can see myself being married...sure..but I can also see myself not married and just as happy ..maybe even happier. What my partner wants will play a big part in that decision as well...who knows...
the keyword is happy....find someone who makes you happy and live life to the fullest...dont sweat the small stuff!
 dbblonde2000
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 53
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:05:21 PM
As a hopeless romantic,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Yes,,,,,,,,,,,,,,Of course that means with the right person,,,,,,I would rather be single and wishing I was married then be married and wishing I was single,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,I like to think every thing happens for a reason,,,,,and we learn by those experiences,,,,,,,,,,but Yes,,,,,,,,,,,I believe with the right person,,,,,,,,it can be a beautifull thing.........
 SandyB1957
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 54
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:11:49 PM
Get married again . Sure I would. My divorced wasnt abad one we made sure it wasnt for our son. Its been 13 years and I am still friends with him. If I need a favor he would be there to help. I just kow that i enjoyed being married. And I think the thing that scares me about not being either married or at least living with some is growning old alone. No one to sit on the front porch and watch the sun set. But heck ya need to at least date a little to even get to any other stage. But in answer to the main question Yes I would
 trailgirl
Joined: 7/1/2008
Msg: 55
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:19:01 PM
During my divorce, I decided nobody but me was responsible for my happiness, and I was NOT going to let the actions of my ex limit or prevent me from future happiness. Move on, chin up, and enjoy the heck outta life! Just because marriage to him wasn't all that I'd hoped, has zilch bearing on the rest of my life
 bigdaddy1965
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 56
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:20:27 PM
i would like to say that i would be more then willing to do it again given the chance to. now i totally agree with what sweetjemgirl said. she bascially took the words out of my mouth. now yes i have been married twice to same women and divorced twice. i still feel like its still out there that chance to do it again. yes i was young and yes i dint have a clue about marriage and how to make one work. now i can say i have better insite on it now. so i think its just a matter of what it is you want in life. what ever it is go for it and do it be happy and happy doing it. for we all know we only live once live happy. well i wish each and everyone the best on finding it thanks.
 Prissymae
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 57
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:23:17 PM
I have ALWAYS said the only way I would remarry would be in a "Shaft" wedding in Vegas. He's a baaadddd muthahushyomouf!

Now that Shaft has passed it just wouldn't be right so I guess only God strikes me with a bolt of lightening & sears me to a man it ain't happening.
 excalibur19
Joined: 10/10/2004
Msg: 58
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 3:38:37 PM
I would like to get narried again..... its the divorce I dont like
Some friends of mine will not ever get remarried due to the expeiance they have had and I don't blame them.
 byebye baby
Joined: 4/13/2008
Msg: 59
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:25:19 PM
I would most definetely get married again! I did marry too young (20 y.o.) and we had no idea what we were doing, lol!! But we had great times and learnt alot, most of it too late... we separated after 9 years, divorced another 6-7 years later.
I did feel I'd not want to again, but my feelings have changed since the divorce was granted (2 years ago).

I believe in marriage, and I'd love to one day be able to say yeah, I'm doing it again!!
I liked the sharing of everything with one other person, having that one best friend who knows everything your about, and who shares their hopes and dreams with you too.

My mother has been married 7 times, with 5 husbands (2 she married twice). I have no desire to follow in her footsteps... and the sad thing is she's alone now for years.
But so far all the women from my mothers side have died alone, I want to break that cycle! Lol! I am ahead already, cause by my age she was on #5..or 6?!
 akimmbo
Joined: 7/22/2007
Msg: 60
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:35:23 PM
Look, if I say I'm going to stay single and alone for a while.....bam...I meet somebody.

If I say, I really am ready to meet somebody now...there's no one in sight...period.

If I say I'm never going to get married again.....well, you guessed it.

I'm not sayin' nuthin'

Kimbo~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 tajuan65
Joined: 8/15/2008
Msg: 61
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 4:53:45 PM
I would do it in a heart beat if the right guy came along and I know he is out there.
 rutryin2bfunny
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 62
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:06:35 PM
Well first of all it wasnt a bitter break up for me.
Absolutely I would marry again, and I sincerely hope to some day as well.
But the decision will only be made with great care, consideration, the input of others, and with the eyes of experience this time. Not primarily based on the view from behind 'rose coloured glasses'.
I regard my first marriage as the 'starter marriage'.
Now I am able to see what I am to look for in a potential partner much better, and thus expect the results to be much better the next time.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 63
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:13:38 PM
dbblonde - I was married wishing I was single for the last few years. So that is why I am not interested in doing it again. I also have children (which I didn't mention) and I felt so sad for all of us that it had to come to this. I am not depressed, or angry or whatever else you budding psychologists wish to analyse from my post - I simply feel quite sceptical towards marriage after finding myself on the other side of it, divorced with children and trying to restart my life again at 44. Thanks to everyone for their open and honest answers.
 logicalnonsense*
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 64
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:14:40 PM

For those that have been married before - would you do it again?


Absolutely. But I've only recently considered marrying again in the future. If I found that special someone I would do it again and I'd be in it for "forever".... I was with my ex-husband (still a friend) for 13 yrs and have been divorced for 12. I've gained significant wisdom with age and experience and I know "myself" much better.
 spicynicegirl
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 65
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:17:58 PM
By the way - could anyone tell me how you can quote what someone else has said.............I can't work it out........lol
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 66
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:19:36 PM

By the way - could anyone tell me how you can quote what someone else has said.............I can't work it out........lol


It's a highly classified secret. Need-to-know basis only.

 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 67
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:20:59 PM
cut and paste it into your reply, then put
at the beginning of what you're quoting, and
at the end

happy quoting!

 beadonna
Joined: 9/9/2007
Msg: 68
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:22:43 PM
oh boy, forgot that it would end up quoting for me too

cut and paste, then use the instructions above the emoticons to the right of the reply box.....it shows you what to put before and after the quote
 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 69
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:23:56 PM
I can't say that I will "Never" get married again, I think that "Someday" it would be nice, but I have taken what I've learned in the past, and now look at things from a different light.

I think if it ever comes to where I find someone who I would consider 'marriage-material', then I plan to take it slow, investigate things a little more thoroughly and do my homework!

I've learned that it takes 2 people to make a marriage work, and only one to destroy it. So next time I find someone who I'm serious with, I plan on making sure the same things don't happen again, from both parties...

I also don't punish the new people in my life, for what the people of my past have taught me. The past is past... Learn from it, and let it go, use it to help you grow in a positive sense, not keep you confined!

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 70
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:33:51 PM
Yes, I would get married again, I would never just "live" with anyone.
I didn't have a bitter divorce at all. I believe in the institution of marriage...still.

I've known many people who have bitterness toward their ex husbands or wives and say they would never get married ever again. For one I rarely say "never", two, you cannot judge one person against another. Just because there was bitterness etc. in one marriage doesn't mean that if there were a next that it would be the same. If you want to get married again sometime but think back on how bad your previous marriage was, don't "blame" the institution of marriage.

Marriage is a very serious/sacred vow that too many people do not take seriously in this day and age. IMHO. But that's just what I think........


By the way - could anyone tell me how you can quote what someone else has said.............I can't work it out........lol
If we told you, we'd hafta kill ya.
 MizzCrow
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 71
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:36:51 PM
I'm certainly not ready to run off to Vegas with anybody, but yes, I'd be interested in marriage again. I've had some iffy relationships in the past, but my marriage was solid and a positive experience. I am fine living alone, but I really do prefer a regular companion.

I can understand why some people are averse to "jumping into the fire" again, but if the situation(s) were that bad, I'd say there should be some evaluation... you know about that old joke, if you have broken your arm in three places then it's better to stay out of those places? A lot of people don't examine what their personal choices might have to do with bad relationships, and they keep picking the same kind of people over and over again. (That's the definition of insanity, you know, doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result).

Personally I'd encourage anyone who has been burnt badly and has become jaded to look into counseling, find someone to help them evaluate their personality and the discrepancies between what they think they want and what they are doing.
 FloppyDonkey
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 72
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 6:31:47 PM
Well I don't like to say "never" because who knows what tomorrow will bring. Really the only thing I'd change this time is I would ensure it was for the right reasons.

Now with that being said I also have to agree with Gene Simmons views on marriage. For those of you who watch his reality show you already know that Gene says "I'd rather be here because I want to be here and not because I have to be." It might sound crazy but really what is marriage?? Yes it's a sacred vow to love, honor and cherrish someone but I can already make that vow everyday in the way I do things. If I'm a cheater, abuser, lier........does putting a ring on my finger and signing my name suddenly change that?? In reality marriage is something that society pressures us to do so we can satisfy everyone elses expectations of what they think we should do. But again, who knows what tomorrow will bring, right
 rutryin2bfunny
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 73
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 9:07:54 PM
Haha, put the ] thingy right after the quotation, and the [ thingy right before it...
 freespiritedlady
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 74
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 10:07:53 PM
I would not ever get married again..... been there done that...
no man will ever tell me what to do again... wont ever answer to anyone
but God, my kids, my mom and me.... I will have relationships as long
as they live in their house and I live in mine..... I enjoy my "alone"
time... you can always get out and go to walmart and see people you
know if you need a "fix" to cure your loneliness.....
 Chris 53
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 75
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 10:46:22 PM
I was married for 26 years, the last 10 my ex had 3 affairs, I tried to keep going cos we actually got along very well. I am not the screaming, throwing things type and so was able to deal fairly rationally with it all. When we married I believed in the old soul mates thing and until about the 15 year mark it was great. I am still good friends with him but could never trust him out of my sight. That I am afraid has coloured my judgements for any poor sod that comes along now. Without trust there is nothing and I don't know how I will trust anyone again, male or female, cos the 3 affairs he had were with 3 supposed friends of mine.
So, my friend, I don't think I will be marrying again, I hope I can have a bit of fun along the way and try not to get my heart broken again. It's only a piece of paper and it truly doesn't mean much when you get down to it.
As someone else said, never say never, but just let life happen, and hopefully it will happen better for you in the future (and me too maybe).
Chris
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