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 cowtrucker
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 43
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I can't say that I will "Never" get married again, I think that "Someday" it would be nice, but I have taken what I've learned in the past, and now look at things from a different light.

I think if it ever comes to where I find someone who I would consider 'marriage-material', then I plan to take it slow, investigate things a little more thoroughly and do my homework!

I've learned that it takes 2 people to make a marriage work, and only one to destroy it. So next time I find someone who I'm serious with, I plan on making sure the same things don't happen again, from both parties...

I also don't punish the new people in my life, for what the people of my past have taught me. The past is past... Learn from it, and let it go, use it to help you grow in a positive sense, not keep you confined!

CowTrucker
Chapman, Kansas
 clasact
Joined: 1/18/2008
Msg: 44
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 5:33:51 PM
Yes, I would get married again, I would never just "live" with anyone.
I didn't have a bitter divorce at all. I believe in the institution of marriage...still.

I've known many people who have bitterness toward their ex husbands or wives and say they would never get married ever again. For one I rarely say "never", two, you cannot judge one person against another. Just because there was bitterness etc. in one marriage doesn't mean that if there were a next that it would be the same. If you want to get married again sometime but think back on how bad your previous marriage was, don't "blame" the institution of marriage.

Marriage is a very serious/sacred vow that too many people do not take seriously in this day and age. IMHO. But that's just what I think........


By the way - could anyone tell me how you can quote what someone else has said.............I can't work it out........lol
If we told you, we'd hafta kill ya.
 FloppyDonkey
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 46
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/20/2008 6:31:47 PM
Well I don't like to say "never" because who knows what tomorrow will bring. Really the only thing I'd change this time is I would ensure it was for the right reasons.

Now with that being said I also have to agree with Gene Simmons views on marriage. For those of you who watch his reality show you already know that Gene says "I'd rather be here because I want to be here and not because I have to be." It might sound crazy but really what is marriage?? Yes it's a sacred vow to love, honor and cherrish someone but I can already make that vow everyday in the way I do things. If I'm a cheater, abuser, lier........does putting a ring on my finger and signing my name suddenly change that?? In reality marriage is something that society pressures us to do so we can satisfy everyone elses expectations of what they think we should do. But again, who knows what tomorrow will bring, right
 mjk21258
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 49
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/21/2008 1:43:00 AM
I would again and hope to someday. Just because you have one bad experience in something doesn't mean you should never try it again.
 pucky
Joined: 7/21/2007
Msg: 50
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:03:31 AM
I'll never say never, but if I found the right woman I could stay with for the rest of my life and felt like I didn't need a piece of governmental toilet paper saying we're legally bound, then I'd be her boyfriend for life.

Wow, sounds like something Gene Simmons would say.
 brownie360
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 51
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/21/2008 11:26:22 AM
i was married before but was married to the wrong person. would do it again. if it be god's will.
 STH III
Joined: 6/5/2008
Msg: 54
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/21/2008 9:24:07 PM
I would do it again but would have to be really sure the girl really, really loves me this time. It is a great feeling when someone really wants to be with you.
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 56
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/22/2008 3:15:38 PM
I don't need a piece of paper to be married to someone, if that is the criteria. I've only been in a common law relationship, and never been "married" in that classical sense.

Would I do it again ?

In a heartbeat, with the right woman.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 57
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/24/2008 11:16:35 AM
It wasn't the marriage that was the problem, it was who I married. Marriage is comfortable for me because of the way I feel about an SO and my belief systems but I don't see it being a deal breaker either way at this point. I have had my children and I would not anticipate having any more because it would require adoption anyway.

If I met a man that was committed but marriage phobic I don't think it would bother me to cohabitate but if I felt that strongly about someone else again I think I would probably want to get married. Maintaining two residences might also be viable if both people were on board with it. When I was younger, this seemed like a total waste of money and on some level probably still would but then I look at some couples that have done this and maybe that is one of the reasons they are together, because they have some place to go when the other party makes them mad as hell.

If you cohab, and either party wants to be an ass the courts are going to be involved anyway, so to me, people that act like marriage is the culprit because they were in a bad one and had a messy divorce aren't really seeing the problem which was the wrong person or persons.
 spiderette
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 59
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/24/2008 1:07:38 PM
Probably not. Nothing against marriage, but it just doesn't fit into my lifestyle. I think marriage works best for people who crave long-term closeness and companionship. I like having companions and friends, but I don't want to be tied at the hip and always having to worry about what someone else wants. I find there's a lot of freedom in being single. I'd like to date until the endorphins wear thin. I love the excitement of that phase, but after that, it becomes too much of a day-to-day grind. I just don't want to give up certain aspects of my life. For me, the ideal relationship would be one where we maintained separate houses, finances, and the like...but we could have the fun parts of a relationship.

The irony is my divorce is not bitter. There were some bad points, but I tend to get over things and I have a difficult time staying upset over anything in my life. As they say, time heals all wounds.
 spiderette
Joined: 6/28/2008
Msg: 61
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/24/2008 3:19:47 PM
I agree with everything you say, Silken. I stated things somewhat simplistically for typing convenience. I sure felt the way you describe during my marriage. However, now that I'm single, retrospectively, all those wonderful things just aren't enough for me to give up my new found freedom. I love my life the way it is and I truly don't think I could ever go back to being married (ditto for living together). In addition, I'm also far too responsible to make a marital commitment knowing how my paradigm has shifted (now that I'm single) and how I presently truly feel about marriage. Lastly, I presently have all those wonderful things in my life without a marriage...plus, I have my freedom too. I honestly feel I have my cake, the icing, and I'm even able to eat it!!!
 Serendipity_76
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 64
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:04:16 PM
I think the first time is always experimental. You don't know quite what you want in a husband. Now that you've experienced marriage you have better knowledge in finding a longterm mate. I'm looking forward to getting re-married. I truly believe 2nd time will be the charm! Like all things, don't let one mishap ruin all future happiness. Life is a gamble, you don't win big unless you play big!
 dao626
Joined: 2/5/2007
Msg: 65
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:37:49 PM
I would do it again if I found the right person.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 66
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/25/2008 9:59:29 AM
Yes if I believed I found the right person. I would have to date them a year first so I get to know them. One more time for me!
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 67
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 8/25/2008 3:42:21 PM
Oh my. Knowing everything that I do about the realities of failed relationships... including financial loss on top of the emotional loss. With my eyes wide, wide open to the harsh realities of life I can say that my future has not been defeated by my past.

YES, I would risk again. If I found that grand passion... you bet I would. The rewards are most certainly worth the risks. I do not believe Life is about trying to eliminate risk; it is all about how you meet the risk that life is.

I do not need a marriage certificate to make a commitment. But making and keeping this sort of a commitment to the one you love does alter both of you in the loving.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 70
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:52:17 PM
Yes I would but I would need a long enough engagement to know that the boat is seaworthy.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 71
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:55:31 PM
Sure I would. Marriage wasn't that bad for me.
 carelesswhisper00
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 72
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:06:06 PM
Absolutely. My marriage was wonderful and I was with my husband till the end, may he rest in peace.
 HVACtech
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 74
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 9:52:25 PM
Marriage is grossly over-rated. There is no reason on Earth -- none -- that two people can't remain faithfully committed to each other without a legal document.

We've said our vows before ... in a church, a courthouse, or wherever. And for the divorced among us, a helluva lot of good they did.

Would I do marriage again? It's possible ... but so too is the moon crashing into Earth. In other words, very highly improbable.

I think a better question would be, "Would being previously married deter you from being faithfully committed to someone?" To that my answer would be, "No."

The happiest & "richest" couple I know never got married. They had and raised great kids together, basically did and enjoyed the same things married couples did, and are now happily retired. Key to their relationship is that there was never a piece of paper binding them. The door was always open -- either could walk away at any time (barring, of course, support & legal obligations). They stayed in their relationship because they both wanted to stay in it for their love of each other. That is a commitment no marriage certificate can make happen.
 Monty0791
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 76
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For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:28:51 PM
Still on the fence about it.I won't say yes and I won't say no.Only time will tell.I guess it depends on who I ever meet and how I feel at that time.
 jim141419
Joined: 7/31/2007
Msg: 77
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:29:28 PM
I'm not sure........

From past experience and learning from others....

People seem to change when they get married.


......Im just sayin
 seekndestroy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 78
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 6/27/2009 10:31:01 PM
only if she's filthy rich and i get half after the divorce !!!!

 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 82
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:14:05 PM

The happiest & "richest" couple I know never got married. They had and raised great kids together, basically did and enjoyed the same things married couples did, and are now happily retired. Key to their relationship is that there was never a piece of paper binding them. The door was always open -- either could walk away at any time (barring, of course, support & legal obligations). They stayed in their relationship because they both wanted to stay in it for their love of each other. That is a commitment no marriage certificate can make happen.


I definitely agree! It seems that when the door is always open for one or the other to leave, they stay together because they genuinely love each other, they work on the relationship and thus it is those relationships that truly last. That is something that's the kind of relationship that I hope to have the next time. You really don't need the piece of paper to make it work. I think what some people want is the grandiose ceremony in front of friends as if to prove their love for the other. No thank you. I don't need it, but I'll never say never.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 83
For those that have been married before - would you do it again?
Posted: 1/9/2010 2:20:25 PM
I would never marry again. After my divorce, I worked harder than ever. bought a Condo and don't want to end up giving half to some guy if the marriage fails.
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