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 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 74
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?Page 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)

I just checked my settings. They were set for 30-42 year old single WOMEN.

Ahem... this is the OVER 45 thread Tryde... lol

OP, I'm off the understanding that men are just happy to be seein' a boobie or a vajayjay that the belly that you're spending time agonizing over or the thighs that you'd rather cut off than have to stick back into your jeans are not what they're focusing on.

You see sagging boobs and all they see are TITS!
You see a belly you'd like to have lipo'd and all they see is what's BELOW IT.
You want to lift your butt up with both hands and have it stay there, but he wants to replace your hands with HIS!

Being women, we're worried about the aesthetics.
We'd stand on our head and stick a rose in there if we thought we could make it purdy.....
Men just want the VASE!!!
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 76
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:16:30 PM
Nervous? Never. I'm very comfortable in my own skin and love my body.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 77
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 9/3/2008 5:34:44 PM
nope, I am comfortable with my body and love the pleasure that it is able to give me and the man who is involved in the sexual encounter.
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 79
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:44:42 PM
Well sorry I am only 44 but yes I am so nervous. I get so scared when I have to be with someone new. I don't know why cause I think I look good but I am really shy and scared about it. It makes me feel like when I was young.
 bigalnyc
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 81
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 10/31/2008 1:39:19 PM
I thought all women got up before the man and ran into the bathroom to get dressed and put on more makeup. Kinda ruins morning sex.
 titan3_69
Joined: 3/6/2007
Msg: 82
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 10/31/2008 4:24:12 PM
You shoouldn't be nervous at all. I ddon't expect the body of a 20 year old, nor should you. It's all natural and at our age, ( I'm a bit over 45 and male ), you expect inperfect.
Rest easy with yourself and it all works out.
 tallyover
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 83
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 10/31/2008 5:55:57 PM
I am thinking it's time for a field trip to a nude beach...........That's the best confidence booster I ever had.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 85
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/1/2008 7:55:34 AM
if a man wants to be with a 20 yr old hard body....he will date a 20 yr old hard body....
if a man is dating me.....a 45 yr old woman....I'm pretty sure he knows I'm gonna have the body of a 45 yr old!
If your body image is a problem to you.....then you need to do something about it.....either learn to accept and love yourelf for who you are....or change your body image.
Once I am to the stage of having sex w/ someone new......we've probably been touchy feely already....and he already knows I don't have a perfect body....so it's the last thing I am thinking about once I am nekkid and ready for some lovin'.....
 hunter5859
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 87
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/1/2008 9:22:17 PM
Everyone feels a little awkward to a certain degree.. but its true.. when you're getting sexual regardless of your appearances feel great about who you are... because the person that your fooling around with have their own discrepences. When your having sex be yourself... feel free... explore with confidence.. you'd be surprised how nature you're feel while you're letting yourself go.. being a lesbian... being sexual is incredible.. go slow and explore the whole body... every single part of the body... that's the only way you learn.. slowly.... its awesome and incredible... don't let him get the pleasure before giving you pleasure... make him explore you thoroughly... and ne needs to be a pationate kisser... or forget it... touching... feeling..... i can go on.........
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 89
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/2/2008 12:53:44 PM
I never feel nervous about the first sexual encounter with a new lover--not even if he is 25.

I just feel excited.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 90
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:10:40 PM
Michaelann, I said "25" because I hear women--and men--say that they wouldn't date a younger person because of the ravages of time. They also say that they are afraid that sexually, they couldn't keep up.

I just figure I am so great, who cares about the stretch marks, etc. (Grin.)
 ankkka
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 92
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/2/2008 5:53:34 PM
I checked my belly button!It is still OK.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 93
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/2/2008 7:54:54 PM
I had two C-sections and you can barely see my scars. Did you have the bikini cut or the abdominal cut?

I can understand how you feel, but you know something? If a guy finds you attractive and is put off by your belly button, he isn't worth the effort! I used to weigh 250 pounds and when a person weighs that much for a long time, some parts will never snap back. I wouldn't consider surgery unless it was to save my life!

My belly button was never cute and it never will be, but dammit, I will be 56 on Tuesday. With age comes much that I didn't have when I was young, and it has all been for the better.

And you are not "dumb" for feeling the way you feel--we all have things that we would change if we could. When we can't, we have to learn to accept, and when we accept, people of depth will also accept.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 94
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/2/2008 8:20:59 PM

With age comes much that I didn't have when I was young, and it has all been for the better.


Bravo, Gwendolyn, couldn't agree more.

One of the biggest turnoffs is those who are fixated on who or what they were or what they looked like at a certain age. I'm not the same person, woman or lover that I was at 20, 25 or ____ (pick an age). And unlike some, I wouldn't do the time travel thing and ever want to go back there again.

And I understand the context of how some of the posts were meant, but personally I'd be horrified and it'd be totally unrealistic for someone that I was getting close to to tell me or think I was just as beautiful as I was at 20. That's a visual delusion. I'm happy with how I look and when I was 20 I was happy with how I looked then. More importantly to ME, at 20 I was happy with the woman that I was and spent more time developing and nurturing my soul and spirit (even then I knew that was the "good stuff") than I did on the exterior, superficial.

I honestly believe that I knew that and probably modeled that at an early age, because that's what I saw in my parents. And I've always been grateful for such great role models, they loved and accepted, nurtured and encouraged each other, respectfully, thanfully, tenderly and gently. Their total love was evident, they liked each other a lot too, enjoyed each other, had fun together...I'm sure they always had, but in their later years, it was my awareness to drop in with the grandkids and see grandma and grandpa, working over a jumble or a crossword, holding hands, and giggling like teenagers. It was never an intrusion, but it was special to me to see the spark, the twinkle in their eyes, you just knew when they spoke or looked at each other.

Apologies in advance, not intending to be off topic, but the topic invoked memories of my own. Talking about a sexual encounter, when and if it happens, or ideally it's not at all about that. It's in a broader context or perspective that a sexual encounter isn't just that, not to take away, because it is and should be special. It's all about intimacy, which I believe is much misunderstood, and sadly much less often experienced IMO.

For me, personally, I know when I feel close to someone and have that closeness mutually expressed and enjoyed. I do realize that sexual encounters aren't always about intimacy and intimacy isn't always about sex.

But that's what it takes for me and that's only part of the learning experience of being 51 and happy with that and not ever wanting to be 20 or 25 ever again.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 97
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:27:40 PM
..Hell yeah .... But I'll worry about getting all nekkie and nervous when I actually get the point where I think I might... or he might be removing my clothing, until then, I'm not gonna sweat the small stuff.


...maeflowers
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 98
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:32:06 PM
Never say "small" to a man over 45 and sweating will happen if the situation is right......

OT.......I think most of us get a little nervous when with someone new and hoping to make the best impression possible, and to satisfy the other totally.

Just my opinion........
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 99
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 12:52:30 PM
^^How come it seems that men don't get as nervous as we ladies do then? Like I mean...would be difficult if a man was nervous cuz it would show. If you know what I mean?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 100
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 1:08:01 PM
^^Well yeah, kinda sorta! lol
So? Any fellow wanna answer that one? Seriously, do you men get ill at ease the first time or do you just hide it better?
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 101
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 1:14:53 PM
Never say "small" to a man over 45 and sweating will happen if the situation is right......



...Hmmm...I'll have to remember that....but now I'm curious as to why you would mention it in the first place ....now it seems my only problem is getting myself "into that situation"


...maeflowers
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 102
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 2:11:11 PM
Mentioned it to be funny and to let you know that men DO get nervous tooooo....

Moon, my dear, many times just the opposite effect happens when nervous, just like sweating, and heart racing, blood flowing, etc...... You just never know which way it will go, or why......

And Mae, my dear......getting into that situation is much much easier than getting out of it........so to speak......

Just my opinion......
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 103
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 4:17:53 PM
Thanks Levi and Mr. D! I have always wondered that. Men seem just so very confident the first time. Whereas we gals think...he is looking at my tummy, my thighs....I think overall, women are much much too critical of themselves, myself included.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 104
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 4:37:25 PM
k - I will admit to one thing

when my legs are being held up to my ears.....and my body is all scrunched up....and my tits are smothering me.....
I do wonder sometimes just how unattractive this looks!!
but I forget about it real quick like.....just like I forget about everything else when the pleasure begins.... :
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 105
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 4:57:36 PM
OMG Ms Micki! I forgot all about that feeling...bin so long! And yes, once we get over that shy nervousness, we forget all about our looks and concentrate on the simple pleasures of the flesh....whew! Is it hot in here?????
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 107
Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/3/2008 10:09:39 PM

And Mae, my dear......getting into that situation is much much easier than getting out of it........so to speak



...Easy for you to say

...maeflowers
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 108
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Do women over 45 feel nervous about the first sexual encounter?
Posted: 11/4/2008 9:44:01 AM
If you look good, smell good, and perform well, being nervous is but a slight obstacle of short term duration when going to bed with each other for the first time.

Many times that nervous moment comes when you hear that first "zip", or feel that first "button" being "unbuttoned", and you could be far from the realization of sexual intercourse, and just starting down that path of a sexual encounter.

Once comfortable with whom you are with, and why, the nervousness leaves and the fun begins.......over and over.......

Just my opinion.......
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