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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Is love dead?      Home login  
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 24
Is love dead?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

Does love exist anymore? Have we become so jaded, bitter and stuck that we can only throw back the covers for intercourse... without opening the doors of our hearts and minds to renew, readjust and welcome a new person into our lives even at this age,

Of course love still exists.

People who are jaded and bitter choose to be so; I know, because I have been there, but I choose to be that way no longer.

Everything is a choice.
Joined: 2/12/2008
Msg: 25
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:54:22 PM
I think love is only dead where people kill it. One must believe in love and then find another person who also believes in love. IF both parties believe in love, love will be there.

Users, players, and selfish folks often make a sham of love and aid in destroying that "love-faith" in others. My advice is to avoid such people. They are not worth your time.

If you enjoy being with them (for a short fling) then you are probably one of them yourself. These types will not find love until they change from within. This is a very rare thing.

Love is alive in the hearts of those who believe in it and refused to let the world destroy that belief for them. I'm one of these people :-)

-Tadworth :-)
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 26
view profile
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/3/2008 5:02:11 PM
No not at all.

little grey haired lady ?

Beautiful,intelligent woman with grey hair is what I see.
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 27
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/3/2008 6:11:26 PM
First of all someone 45 is your age. I have never sought out men of any certain age, that would just be silly. As to music, slang and all things along those lines I seem to have more in common with men that are around 10-15 years younger. Music didn't even think about getting good until the mid-late 90's. Getting older does not mean staying stuck in the past. As to life experiences I work with people that are as much as 30 years younger than I am, and they have lived much the same life as I have.

Yes the four letter word does come up a lot it seems, but when it does I lose all interest in that person.

Yes of course there is still love in the world. Hard to find the real thing but it is out there. Even at this age? Your 50 not 100, your not that old. At 51 I know I look older, but I don't feel any different than I did at 21. As to a paunch or a baby tummy, I don't think so.
 kane stays
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 28
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/4/2008 3:08:23 AM
Love is on life support but hasn't flat lined yet.
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 29
view profile
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 3:33:47 PM
I went into an Arby's today and when I had my food I sat near an elderly couple.She had the blank look of dementia on her face as he fed her and talked to her,smiling the whole time.He would hold a drink up so she could sip through the straw and wipe her mouth with a napkin.If you could have seen how happy he was just to be there with her, you would never ask the question " is love dead?" I had to leave because I started crying,thinking of my Mom and Dad and how he cared for her until she died. Life is unfair and people can be awful but there is someone for you and me,we just have to not give up,many years later my Dad remarried(72) and spent some of the happiest days of his life with his new(70)wife.He always said how lucky he was to be with 2 great women during his life.
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 30
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 3:39:41 PM
I sure hope the mopy, obsessive, control-freak part of it is.
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 31
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:44:21 PM
Good point Esad,

I watch my daughter and her boyfriend and the way they interact with each accepting they are. Sorta makes me jealous yet I am very happy for them.
 Tranquil Spaces
Joined: 8/28/2008
Msg: 32
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/5/2008 10:58:36 PM
"Love is when mommy tastes daddies coffee before giving it to him to make sure it's just right" says a four year old when asked what love means...

Out of the mouthes of babes..
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 33
Is love dead?
Posted: 9/7/2008 6:57:47 AM
....I was watching my sister gather all the supplies needed to prepare the evening meal last night. She placed everything on the counter in readiness while she washed mushrooms... as if on que her husband appeared from nowhere and suddenly started cutting onions. At one point he bent down and gave her and kiss before he gently nudged her to one side so he could wash potatoes.
It was heart warming to watch their playfulness...I want that is not dead, I see it everywhere....I just need to wait my turn.

Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 34
Is love dead?
Posted: 10/25/2008 4:47:20 AM
Love isn't dead. I think it's toying with us.
Falling in love at age 20 was so easy. With a life expectancy of 90+ that was a 70 year commitment.

So now that we are older and the commitment is no where near that long shouldn't it be easier?

Does being older and wiser make it harder? I hope not!
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 35
Is love dead?
Posted: 10/25/2008 5:04:14 AM
And at 20, there is so much life in front of you and so much less behind you. 20-Somethings haven't had time to become jaded by all that experience, so life looks pretty good to them.
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 36
view profile
Is love dead?
Posted: 10/25/2008 8:46:16 AM
I like the song by Nirvana where the lyrics say "Our love is all we are."
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 37
Is love dead?
Posted: 10/25/2008 2:04:06 PM
I think it's so romantic to see elderly couples smiling in each others eyes and holding hands. ****sigh***

Did you ever think that maybe we are on a love holiday? When we come back all refreshed love will be there to just knock our socks off.

I hope that's in the future for me.
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 38
Is love dead?
Posted: 1/17/2009 4:11:44 AM
love can never die, it will always exist
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 39
Is love dead?
Posted: 1/17/2009 6:46:56 AM
Love is alive and well as far as I am concerned. I just turned 66 and recently had a great time with a very hot 40 year old woman on a trip I took. Now that I am back home I am dating a luscious 47 year old blonde. Life is great!
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 40
Is love dead?
Posted: 1/19/2009 9:21:17 PM
No love is not dead. Sometimes it just takes longer to find us. I have been single/divorced for 6 yrs and although in that time I have had 3 LTR's nothing came of any of them. I had almost given up when I answered an email on here from a local fellow. We met up dated for a month and I got too big for my boots and acted like a princess. He was very busy and could not pay as much attention to me as I wanted. We broke up and I regretted it daily for 4 months. Then I sent out a blanket Xmas email to all of my address book. He replied back 2 weeks later which astonished me - I had not thought he would do so. He told me not a day had gone by when I was not in his mind. He was crushed when we broke up but decided to just give me time and see what happened. My Xmas email gave him the chance to get back in touch. We met up the next day and I am delighted to say we are dating exclusively and are hopefully going to be together always. Things are still busy, our work schedules do not mesh - so I have only seen him three times since we remet but I have more understanding and knowledge of what I might have missed. Someone who is younger than my dating perimeters - only by 2 1/2 yrs and that was a surprise to me. I had originally thought he was the same or older than me by 2 yrs. Someone who makes my heart throb faster when I see him, and when he smiles at me I am so lost.
I married young at 18 and was not in love - I married to escape from home. I stayed married for my daughters' sakes and called it quits after 26 yrs. What I have gone through has made me the person I am today and I am so happy to have found "love" at my age 52. I am on Cloud 9 and it may take a few years to come back down to Earth.
Hugs to all Sally.
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 41
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Is love dead?
Posted: 1/20/2009 1:14:57 AM
It's a year later and nothing much has changed here since posting my cry in the dark angst to the moon.


Whatever happened to just being there, feeling good and letting it play out to wherever it happens to go?
Nothing has happened to this! People with that capacity can be found any and every where.

Dang, I've really gotta move or lose 6 -10 yrs, cause Catholic countries aren't doing diddly for me . Could it be moi ? Probably =-/... The ever verbal realist, randy, over weight and finding my jowls resting on my chest , competing with the east block flood of the young stilettoed , promising eternal subservience until the green card comes thru ;-)....or maybe being someones extramarital on the side has lost some of its glamor? Sigh.......

It's a pond issue or I just need to pack up my dance card, get a face lift, starve and head back to a place where people my age actually get a divorce when things go sour .
Ahh those trade offs can be so annoying.
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 42
Is love dead?
Posted: 1/20/2009 2:17:40 AM
Rusty, lol! I think it *may* be a location issue, to a degree. . . . My four years in China, pretty much limited to a relatively small expat community resulted in my marrying a local guy 16 years younger than me. . . . And I'd just turned 40. So maybe the relocation idea isn't such a bad idea. . . . You could move over to Greece, and see what happens. . . .

Good luck!!

Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 43
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Is love dead?
Posted: 1/20/2009 3:53:21 AM
Though we like to ask these kinds of questions that are not questions... of course we allready know the answers. A resounding, NO. I understand and empathize with what you and others are feeling. I feel it too. But our personal little anecdotal experiences have nothing to do with the magnananimity of something like Love. I see a lot of projecting that goes on in things like these forums. Projecting our personal experiences onto things and people in general. I would caution: beware of villianizing all men... or all women. No matter what our terrible experiences have been. Remember the famous quote (think it was from a famous naval officer?) " I have seen the enemy, and it is us"

I'll share a little personal insight from the mind of a 63 year old man. Yes, I still tend to think in terms of younger women. The numbers keep rising relative to my age... but, yes....usually at least, somewhat younger. Yes, I still fantasize about a beautiful 42 yr old falling for me. I tend to look at the profiles of women in their 50's. You women can call it what you like. It seems to be something built into us. However: we are fully awares at the same time that a partner our age would be just damn great. We know this. You would be wise to accept this valuable information and see it as a challenge rather than a flaw in us. If you believe you are a wonderful partner possibility for us, then tell us darn it. In spite of our inherent dumbness we need to hear this. But I warn you: don't do it with any sarcasm, cynicism or contempt in your behaviors. If you do, you will be writing more posts asking why men your age don't seem to want anything to do with you. We may not like the notion, but we do have to sell ourselves.... just like any good product. Perhaps a little poster I saw hanging in a local tavern really says it all. On a park bench sits a skeleton of a woman in a now ragged and tattered dress: the caption reads: "waiting for Mr. Right"
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 44
Is love dead?
Posted: 1/20/2009 9:50:22 AM
First things first.

If I could just fine "like" and "mutual respect", we could work on the "love" thing....
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 45
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Is love dead?
Posted: 1/20/2009 10:19:28 AM
Don't ya know Wooby .... some place warmer would definitely be an improvement .....these winters seem to get longer every year and the men scarcer... or is that younger and less experienced?

Course with Obama inhouse as of today, maybe the States can gain back some of it's long lost luster .... she's kinda like me at the moment, a little woebegone, rode long and hard, wore out and put up wet....but there may still be a little gallop left in the old girl yet.... shall we try for Karmic Renewal Version #743?

Back at ya darlin'
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 46
Is love dead?
Posted: 1/21/2009 8:36:26 PM
Rusty ~~ karmic renewal on the way, lol!

Remember the famous quote (think it was from a famous naval officer?) " I have seen the enemy, and it is us"

Walt Kelly's most famous creation is "Pogo" and his most famous phrase is "We have met the enemy and he is us," a rallying cry for a generation of conservationists.

Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 47
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Is love dead?
Posted: 1/22/2009 9:35:31 AM
And does this not mean that you did not call him for 10 days either?????..........

Things come up, family situations take priority, work, etc., and dates will be interrupted, but do they have to be canceled? Would it not be in your best interest, as well as his, to understand that life happens, and you would like to make that date happen as well, so here are some other possibilities?

This is a two way street, and we are not little children needing a crossing guard get across that street....... We are certainly mature enough to make sure that dating and relationships are as equal as possible. How hard would it have been to offer him two other times that you were free to make sure that the date COULD happen????

How difficult is it to pick up your cell phone and text him a message that you were thinking about him and looking forward to seeing each other soon? How hard would it be to email him and tell him that it would be a pleasure to make his life easier by inviting him over for a nice dinner and some conversation about what your perceptions are compared to his, and maybe the both of you find some reality?

This has little to do with love, and much more to do with understanding one another, and believing deep down, that what you want is an equal opportunity relationship.....

Life is to short to play all these courting games on both sides, and what does love have to do with that in the first that not the part that comes much later if lucky?

Just my opinion........
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 48
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Is love dead?
Posted: 1/23/2009 12:22:36 PM
"Love" means many things to many people. Within the context of a sexual relationship, however, when it comes to sex...we know what we like and don't like (sometimes). I agree, mentally, if two people are the same age, it helps as far as life experience, musical tastes, world history and what not. But, when it comes to sex, well, sex seems to be largely superficial, and we know what we like and don't like. Sucks but that's the way it seems to be. your case, rusty, since you seem to form the most emotional connection with a guy your age but the ones attracted to you are either older or younger, I can only suggest multiple "mates", a same-age guy as a really great friend, then scraps of other dudes for sex on the side.
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