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Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 17
Random bad jokesPage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
What side do you hold the cup?

Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 18
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 8/31/2008 10:00:59 PM
A rope walks into a bar and orders a rye and coke. The bartenders says "we don't serve ropes here". So the rope leaves. Outside the bar the rope wraps his head up under his arm and around again in a loop, tussles his hair and walks back into the bar. The bartender says " Say, aren't you a rope?" The rope replies, "nope, I'm a frayed knot."
 Blood and Whiskey
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 24
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:36:55 PM
A jewish man, a black man, a seal, a baby, and a dog all walk into a bar and the bar tender says "What is this some kind of Joke?"
 Blood and Whiskey
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 25
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:40:18 PM
Whats the difference between dead babies and steak?

I don't eat steak.
Joined: 3/8/2006
Msg: 35
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/5/2008 2:10:12 PM
A grasshopper hops up on a bar, and the bartender says "hey we have a drink named after you" and the grasshopper says "Bob?"
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 38
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/6/2008 4:37:19 PM
Jesus walks into the Inn, throws down 3 nails and says "Can you put me up for the night?"

Forgive me, Lord fer that'n...
I don't care who ya are, that's funny.

Rock on.

Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 41
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/7/2008 11:06:13 AM
She: "What does a woman say when she's completely satisfied?"
He: "I give up: what?"
She: "I figured you wouldn't know."

funny funny know a few guys that would know either
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 44
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:49:03 PM can never outsmart a kid!!!!!

Little kid is sitting in biology class, and the teacher says that an interesting phenomenon in nature is that only humans stutter, no other animal in the world does this.

Suddenly, the little boy's hand shoots up.

"Not correct, Miss!" he says.

"Please explain, Christopher,"replies the teacher.

"Well, Miss, just the other day I was playing with my cat on the veranda, the neighbour's Rottweiler came around the corner, and my cat went "ffffffffff! fffffffffff! ffffffffff!" but before he could say "F u c k Off!", the dog ate him".
Joined: 9/3/2007
Msg: 45
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:22:38 PM
What do you get when you cross an insomniac, a dyslexic, and an agnostic?

Someone who stays up all night wondering if there really is a dog!

(Man, I hope the spelling police aren't looking!)

Skeleton walks in a bar and says, "I'll have a beer and ..... and a mop."
Joined: 5/31/2008
Msg: 46
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/12/2008 5:33:33 PM
JESUS SAVES! Up to 15% by switching to Geico...

I know, I'm going to h3ll...

Rock on.

Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 47
Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/12/2008 6:03:47 PM
Why doesn't Smokey the Bear have any kids?

Because whenever his wife gets hot, he hits her over the head with a shovel
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 48
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:55:24 AM
3 ducks go in a bar, the bartender says to the 1st one, whats your name & what have you been up to today?
First duck says Im Huey, & Ive been in & out of puddles all day long, what more could a duck want?
He asks the second duck the same question ,second duck says, my names Lewey & Ive been in & out of puddles all day long, what more could a duck want?
So the bartender says to the third duck, I guess your names Dewey ?
Third duck says, Naaaa, my names Puddles.;)
 Egregious Philbin
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 51
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 11/2/2008 11:10:38 PM
What do you call 4 Mexicans standing in quicksand?

Quatro sinko!
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 56
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 11/5/2008 7:35:22 PM
Did you hear the Polish Hockey Team Drowned ?

Spring Training

 Egregious Philbin
Joined: 8/17/2008
Msg: 57
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 11/5/2008 10:41:43 PM
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

She wasn't wearing her seatbelt.
Joined: 10/30/2008
Msg: 61
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 11/14/2008 1:05:47 AM
the ugliest woman on earth walks up to a clerk at a store with her two sons, the clerk says, "awww, are they twins?" to which the ugly woman replies, "Of course not, ones 18 and the others 8. Why would you think they're twins?"

the clerk stared for a moment, "because i didn't think anyone would fuk you twice."
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 62
Random bad jokes
Posted: 11/15/2008 10:33:23 PM
How many feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

A dyslexic walks into a bra...

A lady goes to the dentist because of a toothache.

Dentist: Well, I see the problem, but we can save the tooth by doing a root canal.

Lady: A root canal?!? Ow! I'd rather have a baby!

Dentist: Make up your mind, I need to adjust the chair.
Joined: 8/16/2008
Msg: 63
Random bad jokes
Posted: 11/15/2008 10:42:43 PM
A blonde is driving down a country road listening to two DJs tell blonde jokes on the radio. As she listens she get more and more angry at the way they portray all blondes as being shallow and stupid. She then notices a blonde lady sitting in a rowboat about 30 feet off of the road in a freshly tilled field. The girl is rowing frantically but obviously getting nowhere. She pulls her car over and yells to the lady in the boat, "Hey!!! You know, it is stupid blonde women like you that perpetuate the stereotypes against us, and if I knew how to swim, I'd come out there and kick your ass!!!"
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 65
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/7/2009 4:16:07 PM
what did kermit the frog say when Jim Henson died?

Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 68
Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/7/2009 6:43:41 PM
What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.

The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."
The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"
The man said, "Look I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."

Joined: 9/15/2008
Msg: 71
Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/8/2009 7:33:28 AM
Little johnny was sitting in math class and the teacher asks:
"If three birds are sitting in a tree, and a hunter shoots one, how many are left?"

Little johnny blurts out:
"None, the gunshot would scare all of them off!"

"No Johnny, this is math class. If the hunter shoots one bird, there will be two birds left."

"Okay Teacher, I have a question for you: if three women are sitting on a park bench eating popsicles, which one is married, the one who is licking the popsicle, biting the popsicle, or sucking the popsicle?"

The teacher consideres this for a a hesistant tone...she answers "The one that is sucking?"

"No silly, the one with the wedding ring...but I like the way you think!"
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 72
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Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/8/2009 12:57:17 PM
Save the Whales!
Collect the whole set!
Joined: 5/5/2007
Msg: 73
Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/8/2009 7:01:01 PM
For a bad joke thread:
From my 3rd year in elementary school:
Wanna hear a dirty joke?
A clean white horse fell in the mud!
Joined: 1/9/2009
Msg: 76
Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/11/2009 6:02:16 AM
hey, i called your mom a 2 bit whore the other day... then the Bi$#h hit me with her bag of quarters!!!

(2 bits is a quarter)
Joined: 9/28/2007
Msg: 78
Random bad jokes
Posted: 3/13/2009 9:28:46 AM
What happens if you put Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards?

He keeps comming and comming!!!!!
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