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 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 56
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Ranran: sex as important to you as it once was?Page 2 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)
Gads....saw your profile and photos...wow!!. Good thing you live in Michigan. I would have to tarnish my reputation as a stuffed shirt! What you say it true...."intimacy goes well beyond the skin."
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 58
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 10:06:00 AM
...Unfortunately or fortunately for me, I discovered good sex, but not until I reached my mid thirties....up until then I was convinced that I was just not a sexual person. "Frigid" was a widely used term and believe me, I was called that on more than one ocassion. It wasn't until I met my second husband and realized...it wasn't me, it never was. He knew exactly how to please a woman, how to excite, evoke a passion and desire so strong....a desire that I never even knew existed....I felt shameless at times, but happy.....
I also discovered that yes, sex is important to a healthy and balanced relationship...but you can do just fine without it too.....and sadly, I speak from experience.

...maeflowers
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 61
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:33:31 PM

So this talk of sex in the past tense bothers me when it's still the most fascinating and mysterious and flat-out pure fun! activity lovers can engage in. What does age have to do with that?


...Oh I don't think age has anything to do with it....having a significant other " to do it" with does

...maeflowers
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 63
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:01:39 PM

Get a sex-buddy! I've got one. She and I agreed that we would just have fun. Simple as that. And we do - it's been really fun for both of us. No strings, no demands, no ownership.

All this either/or stuff seems silly to me. Either one is madly in love or one goes without sex. That's taking on a lot of needless pressure


...No, I can't do that. I'm one of those silly people that need to feel something a whole lot more than just lust before I do the horizontal hula. Otherwise I might as well go down to the love shop and buy me a bob....its just as cold....no offense.

...maeflowers
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 64
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:07:01 PM
Like most males, Mae, I have something for you to feel before we would do the horizontal hula. Its really not a problem...

:))
 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 66
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:29:26 PM

While I can easily live without sex, I can't even imagine being in love with someone and not being able to make love.


This not only captures my current attitude but shows the difference between my perspective now and what it was when I was younger.

I've always placed a high priority on lovemaking in a relationship. But I used to place regular sex as such a high priority that more than once I followed my penis into a relationship that didn't have everything else a good relationship should include.

I'm not foolish enough to claim I'll never make that mistake again. If I'm not committed to anyone and an attractive woman shows clear interest I may not be immune to the sirens song, but I'm not automatically seduced by it either.

I would say that I have a much more balanced approach now than I used to. I can take care of my own need for physical release, indefinitely if need be. The urge is just as ever-present, but my ability to keep my upper brain engaged when opportunity presents has increased.

Dave
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 67
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:53:54 PM

Well, that does offend me. There nothing cold or insensitive about it - we respect each other enough to not want to control each other or, worse, play some game. All this talk about 'making love' or 'having sex' as though some magic line is needed to be crossed to define the two is hot air, nice high sounding hot air. Isn't it enough that we respect each other and want to see each other happy???


Sorry if I did ....but you were the one that she was your f*ck buddy....with no strings, no demands, no ownership....and to me, that sounds cold and insensitive....but if that kind of commitment makes you both happy....then I wish you continued happiness.

...maeflowers




 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 68
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 5:59:23 PM

Like most males, Mae, I have something for you to feel before we would do the horizontal hula. Its really not a problem...



...I bet you do you sly devil Let me know when your accumulate enough air miles to get you past Saskatoon


...maeflowers
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 70
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:09:42 PM

All this talk about 'making love' or 'having sex' as though some magic line is needed to be crossed to define the two is hot air, nice high sounding hot air. Isn't it enough that we respect each other and want to see each other happy???


I guess it depends on what you as a person has experienced. For most of my life there was no difference between making love and having sex. BUT once you have experienced the difference it is very hard to go back. Not that either are not enjoyable, it is a matter of preferences.

The best way I can explain it ...having sex is like black and white, it is still a good image and some look better in it. Making love to me is like not only vivid colors but 3-D. It is another level, it isnt about just the physical..and the mental, but also a true connection that is so special and unique that you cant imitate it.

I feel that when you compromise and allow yourself to use or be used you have a tendency to numb down and accept less. That is just my opinion. I realize who I am and what I want in life and I know whoever I am finally with will have to have an amazing sex drive...but they will also have to have the ability to understand the difference between having sex and making love.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 71
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:11:02 PM

Well, guys know the game - but it's the woman who makes rules. And what are the rules?

You force us (you really do) to be less than honest - hypocrites, by any other word. So we have to go into a long refrain about how we really don't want to screw you, rather, we want to make love to you. So the game begins.

Why can't women go at it honestly?



^ oh wow how crass that statement is women force you to lie....what other issues in your life are women responsible for?????

 wvwaterfall
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 73
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 6:17:42 PM
Funny thing is, based on both my own experience and observing male friends, the guys who are completely upfront about what it is exactly they want are most likely to get exactly that.

I know that if I'm less than honest about what I'm after I tend to end up with less than what I was looking for.

Dave
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 75
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/1/2008 7:30:59 PM
This reminds me of the lyrics to Shadowboxing by Fiona Apple:

So, darlin, I just wanna say.
Just in case I dont come through.
I was on to every play.
I just wanted you.

I think at times people think the other sex want games and some may in fact want to play.

However I doubt there are alot over the age of 45 who wont be up front and tell you if all they want is you...no game playing needed. I have had two men just point blank ask me this weekend. I thanked them for their offer and explained I wasnt interested and my reasons having nothing to do with them as an individual but for me, what I wanted and was comfortable with. Both of them told me they respected me and moved on.

To think someone would lie to me to lead me on is just totally stupid, there are so many others who are willing no one should ever have to lie to someone else to get what they want. I also doubt that alot over the age of 45 are going to be so easy to trick into anything, the few who have tried with me have been sadly mistaken. Hopefully the people who want just a sexual relationship will quickly realize Im not interested and move on.
 twobob au
Joined: 5/19/2008
Msg: 77
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/2/2008 5:45:06 AM
As my mate (I am Aussie) Lord Chesterson, once said

SEX
The position is ridiculus
The pleasure is momentary
BUT
The cost is damnable
 rob1nyc
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 80
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:59:37 AM
to me, it's still just as important, and a successful ingredient to a strong, successful healthy relationship. I don't think sexual priorities and wants should ever diminish no matter how old you get. I'm hoping the desires that i'm feelin are still there when i'm 100...lol
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 83
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:33:08 AM
Yes & no. Depending on action
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 88
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:04:32 AM
Sex is just as important as it always was. The only difference is that things that weren't too important when I was young (communication, interests and values) are of equal importance.
 justfishing14221
Joined: 2/21/2008
Msg: 95
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:18:11 AM
Sex is as important to me as ever as well.... maybe more so.
Start with the obvious reason.... it's still the most enjoyable type of exercise and who the hell needs less of that?
If you learn anything about sex as you get older, you realize that it's about what's between your ears, not what's between your legs that ultimately matters. I'm widowed, but I was married to someone who really understood that ... it never got stale. There's was always a new wrinkle (lol) to explore.

Maybe because I was married young ( I missed my twenties), spent almost thirty five years with just two women, and then finally got out there and had a number of mini-adventures, I am totally convinced that the best sex starts with a monogamous relationship...how it evolves from there is either going to bring you closer or tear you apart. Being on the same basic page from the start is important... it's fun to read the book together.

We're getting older - I'm looking for someone who is watching the clock, can cut to the chase, open up quickly, take advantage of all they've learned, and enjoy it for what it's worth as often as they can for as long as they can.... Someone who loves sex but also understands what real intimacy is. It used to be that sex was the culmination of intimacy - today it's more of a gateway (or better yet a highway) into that deeper level of intimacy we all ultimately want.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 96
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/7/2008 8:26:41 AM

We're getting older - I'm looking for someone who is watching the clock, can cut to the chase, open up quickly, take advantage of all they've learned, and enjoy it for what it's worth as often as they can for as long as they can.... Someone who loves sex but also understands what real intimacy is. It used to be that sex was the culmination of intimacy - today it's more of a gateway (or better yet a highway) into that deeper level of intimacy we all ultimately want.


...lol...its funny you should mention that...I posted something on another site just yesterday that I was on the highway of life waiting trying to hitch a ride

...maeflowers
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 101
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:17:29 PM
Sure it is. As a man, it is the primary reason for having a relationship with a woman. That is why it is called mating. If sex is not part of it we are just friends, that is all.
 *lilacwine*
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 102
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:49:36 PM
Sex is more important to me now than ever. Probably because I have never been in a deeply satisfying, loving relationship. I have been in many relationships but there was something wrong with each one of them. I'm determined to find the real thing and when I do, LOOK OUT.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 104
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/30/2008 6:29:04 PM

I would not consider a sexless or lower quality sex life.



...hey, I've been single for years and have been doing without....it can't get any lower quality than that


...maeflowers
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 105
Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 9/30/2008 8:52:37 PM
It's even MORE important now! Especially after years at a time of celibacy, when I do have the opportunity I want to really make it count, be totally in the moment, and want it to last forever. You never know when your last time is really going to be your last time. :) I'm not seeking validation, acceptance or have the hang ups I had when I was younger. Without those distractions it's so much more fulfilling and I want it for the right reasons now. I know I would be a lot thinner if a lover were available to me whenever I wanted them. Now if the fear of getting knocked up would just go away.
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 109
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:24:41 AM
I am just sitting here wondering about how things have progressed.
Here I am, mid life, with more drive than ever, yet I am single. God, what did I do to deserve this? Then again, if I was still married, wouldn't be gettin it either.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 110
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:34:58 AM
Well, Ms Moon, you could try dating....:)

Of course, the phenomenon of pre-menopausal women experiencing a peak of sexual desire is known to use older males, and we tend to tread softly there, as while sex is certainly a pleasure, more than once is month leaves us little energy for the other things we need to do in life.

Perhaps the plethora of offers from the under 20 set that the ladies here claim to receive should be viewed with more interest than you currently show?
 Moonchild51
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 111
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Is sex as important to you as it once was?
Posted: 10/3/2008 7:42:38 AM
^^^Sheesh Mr. R! Is the solution really that simple? Who knew? lol
Yes, I agree, one should date in order to proceed with the finer things in life.
*takes pencil out and marks her calendar*!
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