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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?      Home login  
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 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 77
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I dated (don't ask me why) an alcoholic, a smoker, and tobacco chewer for 2 years when I was in my 30s and obviously I was incredibly stupid. UUgggh. He was a slob and he was incontinent. He had the nerve to tell me he thought I was unhealthy because I am overweight. He is now more than 100 pounds overweight on top of the smoking and drinking. He found a woman to marry him that is even heavier.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 78
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Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/9/2009 9:49:24 PM

My question is, could you get in a realtionship with a person that was basically a junk food junkie, couch potato, drinking alot, smoking,
not in good shape, who is already taking a ton of lifestyle related meds?


I can't imagine what I'd have in common with such a person. They wouldn't be able to keep up with me. Someone else might feel differently, but it wouldn't work for me.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 79
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 2:57:22 AM

Give me a man with a remote cabin, off the grid living, self sufficient living minded and I am putty in his hands. And if he is eager to get naked I am hooked.


Oh my a remote cabin, off the grid living, organic gardening, animal lover and I am putty in his hands as well. If he is eager to get naked a huge added plus point. Who can ask for a better workout.. I am ready for a marathon run..

thecatsmeoww
 TryAgan
Joined: 4/4/2008
Msg: 80
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Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 3:25:31 AM
^^^
One possible problem with this scenario is that the deer and rabbits could get into your organic garden. And if the animal lover is naked, he could really get hurt in the bush.
 ZenBeth
Joined: 2/23/2009
Msg: 81
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 4:01:43 AM
Here in the Sierras we have TALL fencing around the garden to keep critters out, and the fence goes into the ground a couple feet to prevent critters from digging under and in. There is nothing nicer, and healthier than living remote and au natural with someone you love.

~Beth~
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 82
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 11:41:18 AM
Perfect deer fence: 6 foot, surrounded by a 4 footer, five feet out. Deer can jump a six footer with room to run, but not from a standing jump. They can jump back out over the four footer. Ground hogs can and will dig deeper than two feet, but if you bend the fence at ground level, they are not smart enough to back up two feet to dig under. . . You can use the five foot run for emus or free range chickens or what not. . . .

OT ~~ I smoke, and have heart valve issues that keep me from acting like a Canadian Mountie. But I am health conscious, eat carefully and take supplements up the kazoo, lol! A healthy couch potato? (Actually, since I have no TV, that would be pretty pointless, eh? But I am a big time reader, when the internets are unavailable, and with my dialup that's much too often). A guy who wants to run or spend several evenings a week at the gym is fine with me. But there *are* "healthy body" nuts that simply become boring in their obsession. They would, I think, need a matching pair to make any relationship work.

Again: I think people are much more complicated than is being posited here.

 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 83
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Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 12:01:07 PM
I live in a city of over a million people in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains and I like nothing better than to see wildlife from my home. The odd deer, moose and coyote have been known to come for a visit in my suburb and there is quite the "family" of hares that have taken up residence and have become quite good neighbours - maybe even better than the human neighbours. No fences needed around my home to keep the widlife out only for personal privacy purposes.



OT ~~ I smoke, and have heart valve issues that keep me from acting like a Canadian Mountie. But I am health conscious, eat carefully and take supplements up the kazoo, lol! A healthy couch potato? (Actually, since I have no TV, that would be pretty pointless, eh? But I am a big time reader, when the internets are unavailable, and with my dialup that's much too often). A guy who wants to run or spend several evenings a week at the gym is fine with me. But there *are* "healthy body" nuts that simply become boring in their obsession. They would, I think, need a matching pair to make any relationship work.

Again: I think people are much more complicated than is being posited here.

Ms. Wooby, I am a Canadian but obviously you know sumpin that I don't know. What and how does a Canadian Mountie act?

Also, like you I tend to eat carefully and nutritiously, I try to be health conscious, I too read a great deal and have been known to watch the nightly news and an occasional television program. Like you, I also find some of these "healthy body" nuts to be a bit too fanatical for my easy peasy, extremely low drama lifestyle. I would have have absolutely nothing in common with these self-proclaimed health nuts. I find my ears tend to go to sleep when I have to listen to them drone on and on about how "wonderful" their life as a gym rat is.
 wakethefolkup
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 84
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 12:18:51 PM
Actually, I think that Wooby is much healthier and better than the RCMP - she really does always get her man!
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 85
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 12:30:23 PM
Dang, I duz lurv Canucks! Ya'll telling me that the Dudleys duz not run around madly, jumping on and off horsies and rescuing everyone in sight? You guys are breakin' my heart!

 deb1961A
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 86
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/10/2009 7:36:30 PM
hmm let me call my bro and ask him. I know he doesnt have a horse, but hes stationed in Windsor LOL..

As to the healthy living issue. I would think it would be if it was extreme enough that there wasnt enough common ground. For example, I like to swim 3 times a week and walk 6km loop twice a week. If the guy was a smoking 300 pound couch potato, Icant see that I would be attracted to him for one, and have anything in common for another.

D
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 87
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/11/2009 7:30:51 AM
I'm not a health nut nor a fitness buff, and I agree that some can take it to the extreme.
However, it's not about dying healthy. It's about living healthy for as long as possible and having a good quality of life. Some things about our health we can do the best we can to control. Some things not!

My goal is to stay as healthy as I can for as long as possible. I'm attracted to men who feel the same. No extremes! Just common sense and respect for the body God gave us.
I don't look down on smokers. They are no better or worse than the rest of us!

There's just no place for them in my life. The good thing about dating sites is being able to pick and choose. When it comes to smoking, there are no grays in my opinion.
I don't consider that as being radical at all. Just my choice.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 88
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Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/11/2009 8:05:30 AM
Well, I am not a lunatic when it comes to healthy life, but because I enjoy doing some physically quite intense things, I make an effort to keep myself in shape. Unfortunately it is addictive, and once you get into being in shape, and addicted to the feelings and benefits, you tend to just go further and further into the program.

In the good old days I had a smoking wife. After she ran off, it took about a year to get the residue out of the house. Since then, I have found that there are loads of women out there who do not smoke, and of course, in the erstwhile it has become common knowledge that smokers not only kill themselves, but those around them as well. There are loads of really good quality smokers out there as well, but its just no longer part of my life. They are not outcasts, they are just like people who I have never met.

In my own family I have seen what happens to smokers, and it isn't pretty. As far as drinking is concerned, I like to drink in moderation, but that as well has become less and less a part of my life over the years. Nothing judgmental at all, I just prefer tea. I probably drink far too much of that!
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 89
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/11/2009 8:06:00 AM

Never heard of anyone dying healthy............ Unless they die prematurely, by accident, because of war, natural disasters or crime.


Not making light of it at all, but 3 runners of various ages and good health dropped dead in the Detroit Marathon this year.


But there *are* "healthy body" nuts that simply become boring in their obsession.

I doubt many fitness buffs lay on their death beds talking about how they wished they would have spent more time working out or eating less cake.


Yep......."health-nuts" or "fitness buffs" are not attractive to me and bore me to death. ......'xcuse the pun.


That's why a great set of pecs or rock hard abs on a guy mean nothing to me. If a guy wants to objectify himself fine, but I'm not interested in crawling on that hamster wheel along with him.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 90
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/11/2009 5:40:33 PM

That's why a great set of pecs or rock hard abs on a guy mean nothing to me. If a guy wants to objectify himself fine, but I'm not interested in crawling on that hamster wheel along with him


I'm no gym rat; I just find enough motivation to go a few times each week; but I'd be delighted with honkin' great pecs and rock hard abs, on myself, and probably cream right in my jeans if I encountered the same in a close encounter of the third kind on a woman. And there is a provably direct correlation between mind function and body condition.

If a guy wants to objectify himself fine, but I'm not interested in crawling on that hamster wheel along with him.


Objectify himself!!!??? The folks I see at the gym are just trying to be the best they can be, like that Army commercial, but without the haircuts and fungible wardrobe. I have alot of respect for anybody who "crawls" to whatever "wheel" improves the body, just for that, and for that ripple effect on the brain, and because self-improvement is a far better expenditure of time than the self-destructive leisure time alternatives we are all offered. Took me a long time to learn that everything goes better with exercise, not Coke.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 91
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 4:35:15 AM

I have alot of respect for anybody who "crawls" to whatever "wheel" improves the body, just for that, and for that ripple effect on the brain, and because self-improvement is a far better expenditure of time than the self-destructive leisure time alternatives we are all offered.


Me too I happen to really like people that do things with a passion. I have a whole lot of respect for them. I myself am not a gym rat any longer and have slowed down the past few years. I just have other passions these days that keep my life full. I still do enjoy distance walking a few times a week when the weather is nice.

thecatsmeoww
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 92
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Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 5:24:43 AM
At our ages, I seriously doubt anyone is going to do the gym to objectify themselves, goodness! I am passionate about going to avoid a whole hosts of diseases such as heart disease and diabetes, both of which run in my family. I was heavy and I did not feel good about myself, so I did something about it. I am never going to be skinny and hungry looking, that is just not me with my curves, but I can have a shapely toned body and I have worked to get that.

Healthy eating is important. If I find someone at this time in my life, I would hope for us to have many years together. We can increase our odds of that if neither one of us is sustaining ourselves with a heart-attack on a plate at meal time.

I do not look down on smokers, but neither will I date one. I hate the smell and it honestly bothers my lungs to be around it.

 blueyesrsmiling
Joined: 6/25/2008
Msg: 93
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 5:46:15 AM
If your healthy you feel more confident, sexual besides are the other great things that exercise and eating right does for you. Your self esteem is better, body image and a big healthy heart. So working out eating right does wonders for me. It helps people that have a problem with depression. I will take a gym rat or someone that does try to maintain a healthy lifestyle in fitness and food. I am on a strict diet so it would be hard for someone to eat like I do. I can honestly say I wouldn't be comfrontable with someone never moving off the couch and was obese. But telling someone else what to eat isn't any of my business. But changing my diet which is a battle to find what foods I can get and what foods I can't I can't ask anyone else to battle that with me or make such drastic lifestyle changes.....but I can tell you that I feel better because of my lifestyle changes. Before I did eat healthy but this is a whole new level of eating right.
I would like to hangout with the Cat....because she apparently has it down to a art and I am betting her cooking is much better than mine. But I am learning but not willing to have anyone over yet for a home made meal.
 LdyofIndy
Joined: 5/25/2009
Msg: 94
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 6:07:21 AM
I find it very strange that some who appear to be otherwise intelligent, try to justify living an unhealthy lifestyle.

I had a sister who poked fun at my attempts to live healthy after I quit smoking nearly 30 years ago. I was never much of a drinker, because I just couldn't stand the taste of the stuff! Said I was no fun because I didn't smoke or drink. Poked fun at my walking a few miles everyday. I go to the gym sometimes, but even when I don't, I still exercise and keep a reasonably healthy diet. I still have a regular walking regimen. My belief and faith in God plays a big part in my lifestyle. (Although I'm not much for organized religion.) That was a source of amusement to her.

She passed away a few years ago from asthma, diabetes, high blood pressure, COPD, and various other ailments. I'm still in excellent health, on no meds. I feel good! I'm full of energy, enthusiasm and a zest for life and living it to the fullest. It's not about living longer, but living healthy as long as we're here.

An unhealthy lifestyle is not justifiable, no matter how much others try to make it so.
I have nothing in common with those who have that mindset.
 olebluize
Joined: 12/7/2009
Msg: 95
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 7:34:47 AM
^^^^ Same here!

Staying fit and healthy allows me to do many fun and adventurous activities. It's also much cheaper to live healthy vs. needing daily medications.
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 96
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 7:53:10 AM
At our ages, I seriously doubt anyone is going to do the gym to objectify themselves, goodness!
Objectify himself!!!??? The folks I see at the gym are just trying to be the best they can be, like that Army commercial, but without the haircuts and fungible wardrobe.


You laugh, but the past few guys I've met on POF and went out with seemed to want my immediate feedback about what I thought of their body (which were pretty average at best) - it's like they think a woman like me should be chomping at the bit just to sleep with them. They just don't get that I am more concerned with personality and intellect first. They were self loathing and had body issues and were seeking validation from me.

I also had BF's in the past who tried to force their preference of excercise on me and it didn't work. Rollerblading sucks because I don't have the balance for it, tennis wasn't good as it caused me a torn rotater cuff, and bicycling caused my right knee to have problems. I was born with foot problems ( I am lucky I can walk) and have a titanium plate in my neck. Driving 30 minutes one way to go to a gym to get on a machine would take way too much time and hassle - the lockeroom's warm and moist environment crawling with other people's cooties. Excercising with other people around I find distracting.
I do what I can and the best I can. I don't obssess about everything I eat and do not eat to the point of being full. I take vitamins and have a strong immune system - not even a cold for 4 years. I get my activity kayaking, or indoors on my WiiFitPlus and I have a healthy sex life.


My point is, I do the best I can without being obsessive or self loathing. I don't want someone who is going to pressure me into something that doesn't work for me, or who thinks I'm not good enough for them.

Everything in moderation.
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 97
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Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 10:04:38 AM
Being passionate abput anything does not make someone obssessive. Being passionte about our health is smart, IMO. I am aiming for my golden years to be active and healthy ones and the choices that I make now will affect that, for sure.

To me, it is very foolish to ignore the long-term affects of being sedentary, smoking, or drinking too much. I would not be interested in dating someone who did not care about their health at all.
 rhubarbs
Joined: 10/31/2009
Msg: 98
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/12/2009 3:55:24 PM
Apart from the smoking/drinking/hot dog eating type issues - how about motorcycles ?
Just as I'd prefer not to date a drunk, I'd prefer not to date a biker chick. Chances are the motorcycle mama
will have an even shorter life than the drunk. Partly its the drugged up lifestyle that goes along with
bikers, partly its traffic.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 99
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/13/2009 5:13:28 AM
[
how about motorcycles ?


They're a blast!!


Chances are the motorcycle mama will have an even shorter life than the drunk. Partly its the drugged up lifestyle that goes along with
bikers, partly its traffic.


Sooo, are lady cops datable? Hey, I've been stopped a few times by boy cops in the wee hours, and I could swear they were doing pcp or sumthin'! Lol Way too much pumped up brownian movement there for it to be natural. Lol How 'bout fire/rescue ladies, or any first responders? Sheeesh. They usually bring order to chaos, and I could usually use that kind of help.
Not sure what you've experienced, but I haven't run into any greater incidence among biker ladies than, say, law enforcement peeps (hey, they can get it free, lol). Most bikers occasionally bounce off the pegs, and you don't even try that shyt if you're mind-altered. As for the traffic, well, maybe- a biker on the road alone is home free, and not gonna dump it, but it's the maniacs on four wheels that pose the biggest threat to them. Who's fault is that?

Disclaimer: I am not pinging on law enforcement types- just being outrageous to fight a similarly over the top comment about bikers of any gender.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 100
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/13/2009 5:37:20 AM

Apart from the smoking/drinking/hot dog eating type issues - how about motorcycles ?
Just as I'd prefer not to date a drunk, I'd prefer not to date a biker chick.


Same for me when I see a man with a motorcycle is writing me I know I am not at all the woman he is looking for.. I would not want to date him either.

thecatsmeoww
 EndlessLift
Joined: 12/6/2009
Msg: 101
Are healthy living issues a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/13/2009 7:03:59 AM
I think healthy living is important.

I wouldn't get busy with junk food people or smokers.

Substance abusers are also off my list.
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