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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?      Home login  
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 apainlessend
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 126
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?Page 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?


Leave him.
For me.
I won't change my profile though.

Or

Ask him to let you see his messages...
But do it right in front of him, not over the phone, as that would allow him time to delete everything. However, you will tell him over the phone, and give him time to delete them as you need to protect your own sanity, and prevent from being hurt.


Its easy! If he was serious he would at least have hidden his profile whilst waiting to see what happens. That he has not just says he is still "fishing". Aint rocket science!


Defending him eh? Who says he is that bright?
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 127
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 7:50:18 AM
You are his "f*U*C*K Buddy. I hope you enjoy your status. If not, then break up with him. He should be pretty easy to replace. You do not hold a special place in his heart! Do not throw your pearls to swine! He's really not that into you. Get the book Why Men Love B**I**T**C**H**E**S. Read this and live by it. It is your only chance to understand what is going on in your life. I care about you and I want you to get out of this situation you have found yourself in. Pleas e-mail me if you want. You can order this book on Amazon dot com.
 roger lee
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 128
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:23:00 AM
I an in a similar situation, & I'll explain why I am still on (hopefully that will help you to see what may be in his mind). My 'Friend' is also still on here. When I asked whether I would be better able to contact her thru her personal email, she said that she splits checking personal email & email here. She is here apparently for similar reasons as me. When a woman contacts me or I contact her, I am upfront about my relationship so she doesn't get the idea that I am still looking to date. I have been here to 'welcome' people who are new to my city, to POF, offer any suggestions and help, to act as a sounding board & offer counsel if desired. I also have some relationships where we do virtually little mre than small talk & wish each other a good weekend/holiday. Being here has been quite helpful to me as it has help me with my shyness. I have started a long time ago, & feel more at ease doing it, just dropping an 'out-of-the-blue' compliment to a particular woman. WHo knows what kind of a day that person has had. Maybe a single compliment could raise their spirits for the rest of the day. I have had 'random' compliments 'rescue' the remainder of the day from a bad mood that I had from work. I have on my 'favorites' list people who I have had conversations with (& still have occasional conversations) as well as people who I want to get to know, but for some reason don't have time at the moment, but want to e able to find them again when I have more time (I had 'lost' one person who I hadn't put on 'Favorites' & it took me 2 1/2 weeks to 'find' her just so I could drop her a line). Instead of putting an 'Update' on my profile, I just revise it to reflect my current situation. The reason I have not changed my status to 'Friends' is that so many seeking 'Friends' that I have seen, it seems to be synonymous with 'friends...with benefits.' That is not an idea I want to covey.
 DDay555
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 129
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:09:26 AM
Trust is something that isn't given lightly. That being said, I would never ask someone to take down their profiles. I make lots of friends online. I wouldn't want someone to be so insecure that they felt threatened simply because I'm social. The real test is WHO do I spend time with and talk with the most?
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 130
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 11:50:37 AM
If I meet someone from here or off of here, I would stay for the forums (which are very entertaining at times) but would certainly not be looking for anyone for chat, e mail or to hook up(hell I don't do that now). I also would not lie to a signifant other. I met someone one here that tried playing games and lying, but it all came out in the end. And what he was doing here was nothing compared to his life full of lies off of here. I trust anyone until given a reason not to.
 Nauvooknight
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 131
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:54:51 PM
If it bothers you that his account is still up, then tell him it bothers you. Oh but you might want to delete yours first.
 CSIN
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 132
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:35:49 PM
This man is single and available. You were introduced as what you were, Female-Girl, Female friend, hence, "Girlfriend." Most adult men would have introduced you as their "Lady" or their "Woman" if they are/were serious about you. Men mark their territory.

The man is not getting off of here and is not going to let you control him! He probably is reading your post, also, and laughing. You keep talking about "good sex", which means nothing. If you really want the truth, give us his user name on here and let your "girlfriends" on here have a go at him. The truth will be in the pudding.
 Nomad1814
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 133
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 9:46:15 PM
let me get this right.. you keep your profile only so you can see when he's been online ??? sex may be great but you do have trust issues..
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 134
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/13/2008 10:38:25 PM

my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Tell him to put up a thread stating my girlfriend has a profile up on POF, what do I do?
 BrianN23
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 135
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 12:31:20 AM
sleep with him more...hes losing interest in you.
 DDVELVETGIRL
Joined: 3/10/2007
Msg: 136
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 1:40:41 AM
Dump him he is playing the field while having his cake and eating it to. He is a player.. simple but true, you deserve better than his sorry butt. Find yourself a good, decent and kind man. This one needs to be filed in "The less than zero " file, I have known a few myself. The only thing he is looking for is a woman who is better than you, so he will keep you around until something better comes along. Get rid of him.
 nicepaducahguy
Joined: 1/21/2008
Msg: 137
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:01:05 AM
you got to be one of the dumbest backstabbing women i have seen on here.
you are so backwards, and you dont deserve anyone.
you are sneaking behind his back, spying on him. did you ever think, maybe he is checking on you, and seeing the last time you logged in also?
maybe he keeps seeing you log in everyday and thinks you are cheating on him. he is only treating you how you deserve to be treated.
you dont own him, so get over it. also, anytime you post a forum message, it shows up on your profile to other people, so you dumb woman get a life!
everytime he gets online , he can see the posts you are making behind his back lol
you are so stupid. i hope you get caught, and i hope he doesnt put up with you anymore, you act like you cant trust him, when you are barking louder, guilty dogs bark first.

you are psycho
how can "HE" have himself on "their" favorite list? dont you know how things work? anyone can add him as a friend, moron.
i'm gona add you to favorites myself, so that he thinks you have guys adding you also, how do you feel about that?
dumb chic




 ChicsLoveVics
Joined: 8/30/2008
Msg: 138
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:21:18 AM
Why did you sleep w/ him if you knew this???????
 cortchubby
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 139
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:44:32 AM
Question: If youre so compatible with eachother then this shouldnt matter unless there is an issue of INSECURITY on your part. Not judging just sayin.
 windsor_saints
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 140
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:25:21 AM
Am I only one who thinks that the OP sounds like a 16-year old girl? Everybody has been telling you exactly what they think and yet the OP still "needs to know why he is doing this." Many people have told you why, and they've pointed out your obvious control and trust issues, and the OP writes them off, oblivious to her own flaws.

If you trust your boyfriend, leave him be. You sound really needy.
 windsor_saints
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 141
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:30:37 AM

Get rid of him, I had a bf met him on here etc, starting dating, spending weekends at his house etc, he was one of those men who hated players,cheaters, liars etc.... Anyway,cutting a long story short he was sleeping with other women he met on here, these women were meant to be 'just friends' apparantly. Girlfriend dont believe a word of it, dont trust him, or gave him the benefit of any doublt, if he now has a gf, there isnt any reason for him to still be on here . Get rid of his cheating ass


THIS is the lady with the REAL issues. She's accusing the OP's b/f of cheating on her just because it happened to her. Fantastic woman you are, really. I'm quite shocked to see that you're still single


I mean, what man WOULDN'T want a woman who never trusts him, never believes a word he says, and judges him based on her past experiences with other men?
 Drkeyedbeauty
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 142
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 5:39:10 AM
Ok, You seriously need to stop telling us you guys have great, awsome, fabulous sex. We don't care and if you think a guy can ONLY have that kind of sex with just one person at a time and you're baseing the stability of your relationship on that, then you do have problems. If he was happy and content with the relationship he would of changed his profile or deleted it. Take your blinders off and save your dignity. There's never just one red flag so stop allowing him and yourself to make excuses. It is what you're thinking and you know it.
 windsor_saints
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 143
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:14:12 AM
Nice comeback, really. Because no 22-year old has life experience. I love how older, single women generalize all men and then swear it's the truth. I still cannot get over how these women are still single.

There is no "evidence" here. The OP still has her profile up, it says she's still looking in hers. How does that make it any different? Oh wait, because he's a man and because other women have been cheated on. That's why. Yeah, all men cheat. I guess my lack of life experience blinded me from realizing it. I'm terribly sorry to have imposed on the man bash fest here.
 Sunscent07
Joined: 9/7/2008
Msg: 144
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:15:20 AM
I stated to date someone from POF-we made a decision to delete our accounts-I did, he didn't.......he went into "hiding".I asked him about it and he responded"don't know how to do that "and asked me to show him!!!!!!!!".I did by DELETING him out of my life.WHY PUY UP WITH GAMES?
 windsor_saints
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 145
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:18:17 AM
Pardon that guy for not knowing as much about POF as you do. Geez, you got rid of him because of THAT? Wow. I don't know how to delete my account either, but I suppose that makes ME a player as well.
 windsor_saints
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 146
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:24:49 AM

there is no relationship without trust, he is not even considering your feelings...enough said


Really? And so she's considering HIS by continuing to spy on him? I would break up with a girl who had to know where I was and what I was doing at every minute of everyday. We had parents for that when we were younger. She is spying on him, and that displays a clear lack of trust on her part. How do you think this guy would feel if, in fact, he is not cheating, and sees that his g/f is spying on him and talking behind his back? He would be hurt by this.
 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 147
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:51:30 AM
omg . and you are open minded ???
you have issues , you realy do ...
it is a profile for god sake .
has he done anything , besides that , that you can not trust him ???
I am sure that befor he met you . he got to know some people on line ... chat buddies ....
you guys just started dating . slow the horses down a bit ...
aparently you do not trust him at at . sooooooooo why not call it quits ..?????
jealousy will kill EVERY realtionship ....
if you guy would have been dating for month now I can understand all that fuss , to some point , but then again I am totaly not jealous ... darn sure not at a profile ...
. how about building up trust first , ...
if it bothers you that much I would say . talk to him , tell him take if off/ change it or else ... Im sure that will go over very well



I assum the op postes this thread so her BF will read it after all he is still on POF too . I call that insecurty big times ...
 bullielover62
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 148
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:00:18 AM
OK, the OP IS GONE, but there was one post of hers that stuck out for me......And far be if from me to let it go........

but geez I COOK for him I CLEAN for him WE have GREAT sex I am not kidding, outside and otherstuff, we are both very, very sexual and have the same kind of kinkiness, So I cant figure this out????damn.

damn is right! Who wouldn't want to keep a women that COOKS for him, CLEANS for him and give him GREAT KINKY SEX?!? Obvious much?!?!

People like this allow themselves to be used. They can't see the truth, because they've hidden it from themselves! She didn't want to let go of checking up, because that would have taken away her self imposed control over him. She refused to see that she might be being used, because that would mean seeing *the truth* and possibly losing what she had with him. So she *accepted* it and came here to vent. That's all.....

She was on PoF to check on him.

Well.. my profile is hidden and it is only there so I can check when he logs on and off.. I am sure you know that when you add someone to your fav list... it shows last time logged on...sucks that i have to do that...but that is why I am here.....so I add him to my fav list and see, then I delete him right away....he does not know...

Trust is earned. If you don't give a relationship the time for that to develop, you risk the chance of sabotaging it!

She wasn't interested in developing trust, because she didn't deserve it......
 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 149
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:03:16 AM
My significant other still has his profile up, as do I.
Mine says I am in a relationship, I haven't checked to see if his has and I'm not concerned if it does/doesn't


wtg goldie...
i am the same way . my Bf is not on line in any which way shape or form , the only time he uses the pc is to order his suppys for work /shop . he does that right here ...
I did not meet him on the net . but
his job takes him out of town a lot . but then again Im not a jealous person . he know im on line he has no problem with it . I try to show him my profil , he told me " dont worry babe , its just a box , if youu have fun hugging a box ,welllllllllll go for it , lol
he never gave me 1 reason not to turst . exampl . he is working 4 hours from here . 3 days ago he called .. ( i did not expect him to be back for couple of days ) . he said Im 10 min from the house get your BF out of there . I need a kiss and a hug . Lol
he drove 4 hours for that ... i say cool . his ex wife calls me too because of the kids .... dont face me a bit .....
I think If you not willing to give trust in a realtionship , you may as well forget it


well the the op even so she is gone ....
I do believe thats what that realationship is ... sex . it is built on sex, every second word of her is sex realy .... she need to grow up and get a life .. no realtionship , is built on sex
 nannyd
Joined: 7/9/2007
Msg: 150
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:09:51 AM
Hi!
This question caught my attention b/c I have seriously thought many times about what I would do if I found the right person here on POF in regards to trust issues. Honestly, I feel like your bf has a self asteem issue. He wants a great girl like yourself that he has the entire package with but also wants to hold the attention of other women. I have been out with so many ppl from this site on just casual dates. I have found no one that has not got some kind of issue about their personality that I believe is the reason they have to online date. I posted a profile on POF specifically b/c I was new to my area and single. I never have been able to even "network" to find friends here. Everyone is looking for either sex, dating or other things. NO ONE HERE IS LOOKING FOR NETWORKING. I sincerely hope you find what you are looking for and especially hope you find a man that is not looking for the grass to be greener when it sounds like the grass is as green as it gets with YOU. Take Care!
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