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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?      Home login  
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 mystery_mike
Joined: 10/8/2008
Msg: 201
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?Page 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I think it's pretty underhanded for someone to have a dating profile up after the 'exclusive' talk AND especially after being told it bugs their partner.

Personally I dont see the reason to leave it up at all if youre in a committed relationship (unless the text is edited or its forums only). I don't buy the people in this thread saying it's a trust issue, it might be for the specific case of the OP here...but instead I agree with the others that say it shouldnt even be an issue at all, cause if 2 people like and respect each other the whole situation would never happen in the first place.
 changes14
Joined: 9/24/2005
Msg: 202
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:00:28 PM
He needs to change the dates portion in his profile...and you need to tell him that...he will do it.
Favorites...dont worry about it
Have him change his status to friends.
Before Facebook, this site was the way to communicate...after...I still have 1 friend that has no facebook. She is here and I think she is the best...a good friend.
Insecurity wont end here if you let it.
I had a GF I would never cheat on...the most amazing girl...but if she got a pizza she would accuse me of checking out the meat. I couldn't spend 8 hours away from her(I didnt want to either) without her getting suspicious even tho I worked 7:30-4 and she worked whenever. The dating profile drove her nuts...she checked if I was on daily and had her friends check too...(I did meet her on lava). I would have ended up with her but she accused me of wanting the girls on Coronation Street(in tears) one day and I realized why she was diagnosed borderline schitzophrenic and taking paxil.
Bottom line...think it over...
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 203
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/4/2008 7:41:12 PM

Has anyone noticed that the OP removed her profile from POF??
*hears crickets*


I had noticed, and I was responding to a more recent poster who chose to revive the thread based on a "friend" who has a similar problem. I simply restated the clarification that I realized late; which was that you can make changes in your account or profile which should relieve most of the paranoia of an insecure person who requests your profile removal, but would not likely save you from the abusive controlling type who would make you quit the site.
 EaglesCry68
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 204
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/4/2008 9:39:39 PM
Ummmm.....Has anyone bothered to check out the post on "What to do if she's obsessed with the TV"????

I reiterate, I have a Louisville Slugger for loan!!!



Sorry, guess it's time for bed....

God Bless & Happy Holidays and all.....

 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 205
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/5/2008 10:07:57 AM
Sorry but you're being played.
 fedman
Joined: 4/6/2008
Msg: 206
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/10/2008 4:57:04 AM
If you find a girlfriend and your serious, that is having sex, you should get off of this site. Any guy, or women that stays on this site or any other dating site while being in a relationship is lying if he/she says its to be on forums or meet friends or any bullshit like that! You can't still be in the barrel of apples while you are eating one! As far as the idiot that says "mind your own business" what a crock of shit!! When you with someone your business should be "our" business! Its the old story of having ur cake and eating another piece!! Why is it so hard to tell the truth and so easy to lie?
 apainlessend
Joined: 4/5/2008
Msg: 207
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/12/2008 5:18:04 AM
You know what I find amusing?
That threads like this, that make no-brainer queries ever make it past 4 pages.
Dump him. Delete thread. Done.
Next question.
 mitchchan
Joined: 12/4/2008
Msg: 208
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/12/2008 7:53:27 PM
yeah some people are just addicted to cheating. drop him if he can't respect your wishes and move on. its all about open and honest communication.
 aug13
Joined: 10/20/2008
Msg: 209
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 12/13/2008 7:04:42 PM

He says I have to trust him and that he is not talking to anyone


he probably finds you TOooo dumb to be his girlfriend
 lilmissunshine69
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 210
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/15/2009 1:59:50 PM
Hey-just wondering if and how you ever cleared up this issue?? This is all happening to me right now..Advice?
 lilmissunshine69
Joined: 4/22/2008
Msg: 211
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/15/2009 2:02:57 PM
Oh and BTW,, the ONLY reason I have a profile on here is BECAUSE HE DOES...and the difference is I told him I was putting mine back up because he had one up... I found out about his on my own suspicions. I have no desire to be on a dating site. I'm in love with him. But I just want him to know how it feels. Does any of this make sense?
 whenwillthiswork26
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 212
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my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/16/2009 10:56:46 AM
You need to make yourself MUCH less available to this guy even though you obviously love him.
Men like this, that do this, need to learn that if they think they can have you and still keep options open to date and meet other women, you won't stick around.
This is PAINFUL for you and when something someone is doing is painful to you it is time to ask yourself what you can do to end this pain, whether it means teaching him by not being nearly so available or moving on.
I am way past the point of wanting to deal with this type of behaivior in someone I love. Either they do what I need to feel good about the relationship or I end it.
 southernlady1840
Joined: 4/30/2008
Msg: 213
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/20/2009 8:22:05 AM
This is simple... tell him how you feel about the profiles being on POF and if you are both seeing each other exclusively then why not hide both of your profiles that way no one can see or contact you but should anything happen then all you have to do is make the profiles visible again that way you dont have to go back through all the start up process... this will ease the situation for you both an be fair on both parts.. after all if a man or woman is truly interested in you and wants to be only with you then they will not stray outside the lines however if they do then you have a decission to make...

Trust is hard to do these days and I am sure most of this comes from past experiences but the fact is this person is not the one who did you wrong the first or last time you have to take each person on an ndividual basis... meaning you will have to let them make their own mistakes and you have to decide if you want to forgive them or not...small things I can work with ....something like cheating ,talking with other women like they do me is a whole horse of a different color...if a man or woman is doing that then chances are they are not taking you serious and it takes two to make a relationship work.

If someone cheats on me its a done deal because I wont ever be able to trust them again and no I will not buy into the "Im sorry and it wont happen again" because chances are it will and I won't waste my time with someone who will more than likely repeat this process.....some people can't just be faithful and they should stay single rather than hurt someone who is serious about meeting one person.
 OhioCountryCharmer
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 214
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/20/2009 12:37:46 PM
Question OP ~ your account is still active, if so why?

my 2-cent observation
 smileytrya
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 215
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/20/2009 5:11:10 PM
I just read this post and realized we have the same problem. After reading your post, I am even more convinced how its not ok at all to be listed as SINGLE AND SEARCHING while you are actually seeing someone. I am so done with my guy.
 How many frogs do I
Joined: 12/29/2007
Msg: 216
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/23/2009 4:46:24 AM
Well I think if you and he are actually b/f and g/f and he has his page still active on here... Myself I would play detective and send him an email there (don't let him know it is you of course) Ask him some questions about his current dating situation. If he says he is single - then POOF let him be SINGLE and go on and find a real man that can be honest with you. Just what I would do.. ??? Good luck, that sucks I know. I still love ya...
 Mase106
Joined: 12/3/2008
Msg: 217
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/23/2009 10:54:44 AM

I met my boyfriend on POF back in April...we were really JUST friends, but things developed and we became BF and GF on Aug 8, he just decided to lable me his GF and one day introduced me to his friend as his GF. I was very happy, and we have seriously awesome sex and are very compatible,very, I say. He is 40, I am 38 and we have a great time together all the time. I asked him why he still has his POF profile still up and he says for networking, etc and changed it to "friends" although the body of the profile still reads as though he avail to go on dates.... it really bothers me. He says I have to trust him and that he is not talking to anyone....but what girl would put up with that? He has told me "you are the coolest woman I have ever known" that I was also the most intelligent open minded girl he knows... so What gives, I dont know what to do... some one please tell me how to handle this... he always has 6-7 people that he is on "their" fav list???????????


Networking??? Girl, your being "played" like a video game!!!

I recently met an amazingly attractive, ultra "wicked" cool, smart as a whip, "normal" girl who is also very impressive in the sack. That said, I turned off my profile instantanously! In short, if his intentions towards you were sincere and honorable, he would've done the same. . .

My advice: Put him to the Ultimatum -- Me or the site. If he pics you, proceed with caution. If he pics the site, get rid of him like yesterdays newspaper!
 Valmont-
Joined: 11/15/2008
Msg: 218
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:48:45 PM
Two words: New Boyfriend.
 streaking star
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 219
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:44:58 AM
lets see I met , My best friend in here and were hopeing things get more serious she has deleted her profile , but I have not. I have done the same gone from dating to being friends and have about 9 friends . Do your self a favor tell him the same that your going to put your profile up again and see what reaction comes out of it , not to start a war but if he really cares he would be a gentleman .Ask him to remove it until youve stopped dating. He dosent need to be here for so called networking . Call bull shit . I have friends in here but really could move them to my msn if I truley wanted . If asked by my friend to take off my profile while Im seeing her would just to show her that Im commited to her . If he dosent take his profile off I think hes not 100 percent happy and still has issues with something , thats my advice you can take it or leave .
 sweetie333
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 220
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:51:19 AM
So if you met your best friend and hope its more why has she taken her profile off and you still leave yours on then? Has she asked you to remove yours? Or does she think you have and you're keeping it from her? I wonder how she'd feel to know your still trolling the site for new "friends". And no I don't buy the fact that you would be on here for just friendship. I call bullshit on you! If you were the gentleman you mentioned in your posting you would have taken your profile off here when your lady did. Just look at what you advised the other woman: "If he dosent take his profile off I think hes not 100 percent happy and still has issues with something". What issues do you have??? I'm thinking you like your new lady and are comfortable with her but want someone better. Any comments on that one?
 sweetie333
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 221
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:56:04 AM
NOTE: The above comment was directed at Streakingstar
 mopar123
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 222
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 1/27/2009 9:18:41 PM
I just have to say this.............although you have a point Gottalight, the simple fact is we ARE responsible for the reactions our actions create. Our present society seems to have forgotten about personal responsibility for what we do/say and that frankly in my eyes is wrong. Someone CAN make you angry by what they do or say and THEY need to take personal ownership of the consequences of their actions. And then they need to do what they can to make it right, it's the right and mature thing to do.......................you think?? So, with that thought in mind it seems the op and her boyfriend need to try and work this out. I personally wouldn't stand for it and would certainly keep my line in the water.
 shorty232008
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 223
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 2/3/2009 5:06:15 PM
mine doing the same thing i meet mine from here but his pof still says looking for long term we havent been dating long but then we found out i was pregant should i be worry that he dont want me and the baby
 gottalight
Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 224
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 2/3/2009 7:12:44 PM
I just have to say this.............although you have a point Gottalight, the simple fact is we ARE responsible for the reactions our actions create. Our present society seems to have forgotten about personal responsibility for what we do/say and that frankly in my eyes is wrong. Someone CAN make you angry by what they do or say and THEY need to take personal ownership of the consequences of their actions. And then they need to do what they can to make it right, it's the right and mature thing to do.......................you think?? So, with that thought in mind it seems the op and her boyfriend need to try and work this out. I personally wouldn't stand for it and would certainly keep my line in the water..


Truthfully, I would be less than factual if I disagreed with the point. You can make someone angry if they let you. My philosophy teaches letting that option fall into Davy's locker, and not giving someone else that power in your life.

It comes from the Buddhist concept of detachment. If you forgive, you let the person have a different kind of power: they got away with it. If you detach, you save your principles and your belief that someone has to change their behavior to become acceptable in your space. The trangressor no longer has any power in your life. If they don't make acceptable progress toward being acceptable, they simply aren't part of your life. If they do make the changes, they can be forgiven. Forgiveness is the preferred option, but it isn't a free gift until you die.

Your last remark was fitting. Keep your line in the water. There seems to be no lack of fish, and one shark in this ocean really doesn't bother me over the next one. If you do spot a Mermaid, remember I saw her first.
 ausiegal
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 225
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 2/16/2009 5:23:04 AM
I'm in the same situation my friend..
After reading your question.. have decided that we may need to talk about how this makes me feel.. so maybe you need to get some answrs too. cheers :
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?