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 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 80
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

Sadly, it no longer matters... the gentleman and I are no longer seeing each other due to his relocation (different country) ... I think the next one will just be called NEXT!!!

Well, some of us know what happened after this, and what name you actually decided upon, lol. Looking back this thread's kinda funny in light of that.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 83
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History
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 12/9/2008 1:45:00 PM
I have to learn NOT to read some of these threads while drinking something . . .beverage-in-sinuses syndrome is remarkably uncomfortable!
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 87
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 12/15/2008 7:07:29 PM
Depends -- how long were you seeing him? How intense was it up until that point?

If you say "my friend" -- that basically means "I'm still single" or "We just met".
If you two have an understanding that you both aren't into relationships right now, saying "friend" would be just fine, even though you are seeing each other.

Other than that, I think "a guy I'm seeing" would be good -- just like you originally posted it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 95
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 12/22/2008 1:35:11 PM

If you're really with a man, then you're with him. It's not "he's my ... ," but "I'm his."

No, it's both, or neither. No one owns anyone else technically, so if "he's my...." won't work - then "I'm his..." would be equivalent, and wouldn't fly either.
 Sensitive P. Ness
Joined: 12/15/2008
Msg: 96
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 12/22/2008 2:07:39 PM
Well, this may come across sounding like my head is inflated....................

But, you can just call me the P. Nuss
 electrawiz
Joined: 3/27/2008
Msg: 103
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 12/29/2008 6:11:19 PM
Why don't you call him Russel? Then when they meet him just call him your love muscle?!!
 suanjega
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 105
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:02:17 PM
I skipped to the last page so I don't know if I am repeating. At the church social: "This is 'his name' ." Or, "My gentleman friend said 'something'."

My personal favorite is Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman when she says, "I'm just using him for sex."


I think part of my dilemma was I wasn't comfortable with the relationship and as a result wasn't comfortable with a label for him beyond his actual name.


This probably says it all. Just call him your friend. Relationships should start as friendships first anyway. They should also continue as friendships, however some do not.

Good Luck with whatever you decide to call him. Blessings ~ suanjega
 nobrumski
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 110
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/10/2009 11:05:32 PM
On one of the podcasts I listen to the couple refer to each other as their seriouso, pronounced ser-i-oso.

They came up with the term after dating for several years and never knowing what to call each other since boyfriend doesn't sound right but at the same time they aren't married or engaged. Personally I like it and thinks it fits for serious couples who just haven't gone onto engagement/marriage and might not plan to.
 Spence56
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 112
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/11/2009 8:19:48 AM
Personally, I think that introducing a new person to family and friends is a lot like introducing them to children. Generally, I don't introduce anyone to anyone unless it's become very serious and we are actually thinking about marriage. It seems unfair to spend a lot of time introducing different people to family and friends only to have the relationship end. Even family and friends get to "like or dislike" anyone you bring to meet them. So it seems mean to do that when you don't know if it's anticipating a long term thing.

The title thing I just ignore. Just telling someone their name is usually enough. The fact that you are together, PDOAs, etc. they can label it however they want. Well, that's what I think anyway...
 DLo!
Joined: 4/23/2008
Msg: 113
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/11/2009 10:30:53 AM
I use their name!
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 117
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:15:23 PM
My "Prospect" ???
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 119
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:29:37 PM
Oh, I'm sure that would be like nails on the chalkboard to todays' philosophizers.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 120
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/25/2009 12:43:10 PM
I don't see anything wrong with boyfriend, or if he's a platonic or a co-worker, I might say he's my friend. My co-workers sometimes call me the wife or fiancee as I am not seeing anybody. They love to tease.
 i like cats
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 122
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:06:29 PM
Boyfriend............
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 127
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/26/2010 1:35:34 PM

The topic of what the heck to call him came up when I was trying to explain to friends that I was seeing someone. I struggled to label him - what??

A guy you're seeing. Just what you called it. What do you call him? A guy you're seeing. If it's really casual, you can put a "casual" in there, too. Not too hard.

There is an old similar thread of what do you call them? SO, b/f, g/f

You call them an SO, BF/GF if you two are a couple.

Should their label change with age? Teenyboppers and geriatrics regularly have b/fs, g/fs and we all think it cute - but what do the middle aged call their whatevers?

No, it doesn't change with age. People from age 14 to 74 call someone their girlfriend or boyfriend. Teenyboppers may use other terms, but girlfriend/boyfriend are very clear-cut words, used in every generation.

What you are with someone is by what you do, not what you wish to label it, btw. I try to make things simple with a 3-step rule. There can be gray-areas in between, sure, but most of the time, it's a good way to know where you're at:

1) Pre-Dating. Much like "pre-season"... they're exhibition games (dates/outings), but you two aren't Dating (yet?). Everything from approaching someone and exchanging numbers, to the # of dates you can count on your fingers (usually). What defines it is that your free-time lives don't really mesh, or if they are starting to, not much time has gone by yet. You seeing them again is set more or less by -plans-, not by routine. You're not a couple, but when out, you are treated like that, since it is a "pre-season" game, if you will. People who like FWB or "take it slow", are suspended in this phase or a slight modification of it.

2) Dating. Your free-time lives mesh to a good degree, but not necessarily that much on your lives as a whole. It's become a given & routine (hence the ING in Dating), that you two are going to see each other, no questions asked. Ex: You get a call from a friend and they ask what you're doing this weekend, and you'd reflexively say, "Dunno quite yet... Bob and I are probably going to BW3 or [such-and-such-place] on Fri or Sat. What do you have lined up?" It's routine... you are a couple, but not necessarily serious. You see each other frequently that has established a routine of sorts... and whether you like it or not, you ARE Dating, with or without any official-like fancy 'dates' set up. You're an item. No thoughts of any 'plans' needed when it comes to seeing each other; it's gotten beyond that point. Cheating/fidelity/betrayal has set in.

3) Established Relationship. This is where, whether you like it or not, are boyfriend/girlfriend... meaning you are a couple. It's not that much of your free-time lives mesh, but your lives in general mesh. You've gone through time of the Dating phase, and now, you may find a good portion of clothes at his place, or have met the parents as an item... stuff like that.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 128
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/26/2010 5:31:18 PM
No, it doesn't change with age. People from age 14 to 74 call someone their girlfriend or boyfriend. Teenyboppers may use other terms, but girlfriend/boyfriend are very clear-cut words, used in every generation.


My SO was glad when he found out we were exclusive and he could refer to me as his girlfriend. He was also happy when I wanted to call him my boyfriend. He was a little surprised that sometimes I refer to him as an SO when writing on here. I was just going with what seems to be popular but we have no problem with still using the term bf/gf. He is 50 and I am 38.

My older sister who is in her mid 40's felt uncomfortable introducing her boyfriend as that and just said friend. She said it was because it felt like teenagers but I think it has more to do with her being confused about her feelings for the guy she is seeing.

Quote from him when I first asked if we were exclusive.


I’m glad you brought up subject I didn’t know how you would react if I referred to you as my girlfriend.


Why are so many over age 30 people afraid of using the title boyfriend/girlfriend? There is nothing wrong with it.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 129
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/27/2010 8:48:04 AM

My older sister who is in her mid 40's felt uncomfortable introducing her boyfriend as that and just said friend. She said it was because it felt like teenagers but I think it has more to do with her being confused about her feelings for the guy she is seeing.

Absolutely it was confusion about her feelings. Just saying "friend" is just as teenage as "boyfriend". A good example of boyfriend/girlfriend not being a teenage thing, just watch the news about people who are older (politicians, famous people, missing people, etc). They refer to it as boyfriend/girlfriend without hesitation.

I think a lot of people are just "scared" of making a commitment public, because when you do, it makes it more solidified... and if they have any second thoughts about concretely committing to someone for the long haul, they won't want to use that term. But there are other "softer" terms they can use instead in the suffix of "That is Bob, ...". You can say "the guy I'm seeing", "the guy I'm dating", "the guy I'm going out with".

Saying "friend" means you don't want a commitment with them at that point. Saying it's due to an age thing is a total cop-out. :)
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 130
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/27/2010 10:22:35 AM
I think a lot of people are just "scared" of making a commitment public, because when you do, it makes it more solidified... and if they have any second thoughts about concretely committing to someone for the long haul, they won't want to use that term. But there are other "softer" terms they can use instead in the suffix of "That is Bob, ...". You can say "the guy I'm seeing", "the guy I'm dating", "the guy I'm going out with".


I agree and she is still confused if they should be more than friends. I say if she is having that many doubts no point in delaying it any longer but she hates being alone or starting over.


Saying "friend" means you don't want a commitment with them at that point. Saying it's due to an age thing is a total cop-out. :)


If you are sure about the relationship being serious most people no matter the age are proud to use the terms boyfriend/girlfriend. Man friend and lady friend don't have the exclusive sound to it.


I'm definitely over 30 (bordering the next milestone forum) and I recently entered a committed relationship (okay, as committed as I can mentally handle without running, screaming). The topic of what the heck to call him came up when I was trying to explain to friends that I was seeing someone. I struggled to label him - what??


This says why the OP was not comfortable with the terms. She was not really wanting a serious relationship with this man. The same reason my sister felt better just introducing her bf as a friend.
 txlavendar
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 132
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 3/29/2010 5:36:11 PM
My Man, SO, Boyfriend, etc are all fine in my book.

After all, my best pals are called my Girl Friends. Not Women Friends, or Fellow Mid-Life Croonies :-)
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 133
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/3/2010 4:05:21 PM
This is hilarious!
A few years ago I started seriously dating this girl.
One night we went to a pub to meet a group of my friends for the first time. Well, we get there and when I introduced her i said this is (name) and kind of froze...I didn't know what to label her.
She saved me though....she beamed a huge smile and put her hand out and exclaimed: "I'm his dirty little whore!"
My friends where shocked for like 30 seconds...they all smiled and shook her hand one by one then laughed and said: " You're the MAN!...does she have any sisters?" That was a great save!
 repair-guy
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 134
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/3/2010 7:36:12 PM
Reminds me of the guy who said "I don't have a girl-friend, but there is a woman who would be really upset to know"!
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 137
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OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:10:59 AM
People know even if you don't announce it. :)
You can just simply say "OH, by the way, this is my friend Bob." Or simply "This is Bob."
And of course, delivery counts and brings so much meaning to it.
 1womanman33
Joined: 3/25/2012
Msg: 138
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/29/2012 5:49:36 PM
Eh...I think girlfriend/boyfriend are perfectly acceptable.
 cajuncooker
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 139
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:30:16 PM
signifigant other, lover, best friend, the new beau/gal, the gentelman or lady, the person I am seeing, or any of those pet names you use, i usually say the nice young lady
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 140
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/30/2012 10:00:40 AM

There is an old similar thread of what do you call them? SO, b/f, g/f ..

I'd call a woman I'm dating, my girlfriend, regardless of how old I was.

Should their label change with age?

Not unless you're a curmudgeon and need a new label to feel like you're firmly a part of the curmudgeon set.
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