Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 2
Faithfulness and TrustPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I think you are right but how can people trust and be faithful if they are so messed up.

I just read a post of a woman that says she has been hurt over and over (only 28 y/o) and that she cant' trust the man she is with. Well then you shouldn't be with him or anyone for that matter until you can trust.

And lets face it; society is very sleazy; its cool with some people to swing, cheat, have one nighters, and use sex like a toy or like we are dogs in heat that we cant' control.

Also, women; especially younger ones; are just as sleazy and shallow as men are; Instead of looks being the main reason to date, for many its the only reason. Money is also a huge thing people look at.

Our society in the U.S. is a mess and thats why our relationships are such a mess.
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:09:44 AM
mj you're a brave man to admit you are unfaithful and cant be trusted. but at least you're trying to improve

for me you have to be able to trust.
people who cant trust usually cant be trusted, so if i couldn't trust her or she me, i would probably walk away. though that would depend on other things, as always nothing is fixed.

one thing i have a lot of trouble with is understanding how anyone can earn trust if they never get the chance to break it?
 horsheoe2
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 8
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:55:06 PM
I wish I could meet a trustworthy partner.I went out with someone for 3months,who swore I was the love of his life,then he dumped me for asking too many questions about when he was applying for a divorce,as I do not feel comfortable with someone who is not officially divorced.Then 3months later he writes and tells me his divorce is final this week and would I go out with him,then calls me back and says he hasn,t broken up with the woman he dumped me for after all!!!Please,what am I-a piece of meat?Why can,t people be more honest and stop using and hurting others
 Xcen
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 13
view profile
History
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/11/2008 11:54:34 AM
Excellent points WarmBrandie, once bitterness takes root it makes a persons life misery. Maybe they should start a POF recovery room here. Hi, I am Joe (josephine) and I cant stop bashing people in my life........................I trust no one,,,,you over there , stop looking at me like that............
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 15
view profile
History
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:15:07 PM
My friends often laugh at me for being too trusting...for following my heart and having the belief that everyone should be trusted until they prove otherwise. Have I been used, or hurt by this? Of course...but for each time that has happened, I have found so many more people who, if you open your heart to them, will open theirs to you too.

Many people are bitter, or jaded, by things in their past - but as I would not want to be tarnished by another's actions, how can I turn that around and hold someone accountable for what others have done to me?
 try1more
Joined: 12/16/2007
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:46:46 PM
well said cookie! i couldn't agree more.
though i must say there is a difference between trust and blind faith in a total stranger. i've been asked if i really am divorced. i dont have a problem with that. i just scanned and emailed the decree absolute, once i found it. as a total stranger, if you can back up what you say then why not do so?
 degostyle
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 21
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/16/2008 9:19:45 AM
I think the problem is so many people have been cheated on and lied to by thier ex's that they always have those things in the back of their mind in the next relationship they are in which makes it in trouble from the get go because they are afraid of it happening again. I can honestly say that I have been cheated on by 99% of the women I have been with in my life but I never take it to the next person Im with because what everyone does and thinks is different. The last 3 women I have been with I have left them and not because I didnt want to be with them, but because I will not give a second chance to cheating. If Im with someone, Im with them to be with them, I wont treat it like its only temporary till a better one comes around like so many treat it like. Then you have the others who cheat because they get to scared to commit which is another lame excuse. Its gotten worse over the last 20 yrs and its going to continue to get worse because even though I hate to say it, my generation really sucks at being faithful. Thats why I look for the older women. At least they have a better understanding for the most part of what a commitment is. I know Im going to hear it now from people around my age but the truth is the truth.
 dear_huntress
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
History
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:30:37 AM
It gets harder when it happens time after time, doesn't it?
 dear_huntress
Joined: 5/11/2007
Msg: 25
view profile
History
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/16/2008 11:31:41 AM
The funny (?) thing is when they say they are "honest" when telling you there is someone else in their picture, and thanking you for your "understanding" regarding their confusion towards their feelings. So, they believe they are playing "The Bachellor" part, and you should wait and see if you'll be the one getting the rose... prove that the so-called "reality shows" can be hazardous to your mental health!
Laughing about it and moving on is the best attitude I've developed.
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 29
Faithfulness and Trust
Posted: 9/27/2008 8:04:37 PM
Sometimes no matter how much you want to you just can't feel the trust with someone. I have had very few relationships where I felt that I couldn't trust the person I was with...2 to be exact (one 3 years ago and one more recent). But it takes time and hopefully someday I won't feel the pangs of mistrust of anyone ever again. It is the worst feeling and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.


If Im with someone, Im with them to be with them, I wont treat it like its only temporary till a better one comes around like so many treat it like


^^this is just plain wonderful..I wish my husband would say something like this, it would make such a difference in how I feel..he just plays on my sensitivity and makes me feel like he is still looking, or he would cheat on me even knowing how I feel, even if he isn't, and wouldn't..
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  >