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 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 26
SmartballsPage 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I understand that women don't want to share toys. I wouldn't either. It's purely psychological though. The dishwasher gets hot enough to kill any "Cooties" you might be worried about.
 Hawk8414
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 27
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:49:23 AM
I know something you can give her that she will really enjoy and you don't have to ask for it back, either! Put fruit slices up there, you know like soft pears and bananas, and peaches, and such, kinda like a fruit salad.lmao! Hey the Happy Hooker did it all the time. LOL. I wish her books were still in print,lmao! Damn that was some educational reading!
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 28
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:03:39 AM

Not everything is dishwasher safe. Check manufacturer's specs.



Since I'm a monogamous type fellow, I don't share "anything" between women; but, I could and it be perfectly sanitary. Don't buy it, if it's not "dishwasher safe."

I respect the psychological factor. No point in making someone uneasy over a few dollars. Once we buy a toy, it belongs to her.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 29
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History
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:07:34 AM
Some days believe it or not - I am at a loss for words!! You people are hilarious!! No wonder I remain on POF! The balls the OP speaks of sound like a new twist on 'Benoit Balls' - however they have strings attached. As for reusing them on 'other' women - - dirty old man!!
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 30
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:30:19 AM
Maybe I'll keep my balls...............

Maybe hang 'em on my rear view mirror...................

If you want a set...

You can buy your own...

As a matter of fact I know a plastic surgeon in Mexicali...
(cheapmexicomedical dot com)

As far as using soft pieces of fruit... I have suggested this to a woman and she was afraid of the fermentation factor. Once I was rubbing a juicy black plum on a woman's snatch and her lips reached out, grabbed it and sucked it in, all the way in... It took her forever to get it out. Maybe an egg plant might work better. Of course, the size will vary with the woman...

And, who are you woman calling a "dirty old man?" I have a healthy/strong body.
My last two physical fights were with men 15-20 younger than me. I kicked both their asses.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 31
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:33:22 AM
The term 'dirty old man' is based on actions - not your physical strength or health and especially not whether or not you can beat someone up (immature as it is) - it's based on the sexual actions of a mature male!
Dictionary definition - A middle-aged or elderly man with lewd or lecherous inclinations.
The behaviour you describe coveys that in my humble opinion!
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 32
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:43:45 AM
This thread is hilarious, I'm glad I opened it.

<div class="quote"> Please do not be a smartball slut.
Exactly. I wouldn't want smartballs that have been used on half of Arizona used on me. You may want to be discerning as to whom you will use them with. One set of balls per customer please and ball etiquette mandates that you ask first.

 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 33
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:52:30 AM
Is this still going on????
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 34
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 9:55:34 AM

'Benoit Balls'


Ben Wa.. hehehe..
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 35
Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 10:16:08 AM
I am not giving up my balls.......
You're not taking them as a prize........
They're mine and you can't have them!

Reading many of the posts, throughout these forums, expose the fact that many of us (in the USA) have been emasculated. Women have figuratively castrated men. No wonder women have no respect for us and have taken on a chauvinist attitude/behavior. As in George Orwell's book Animal Farm, they have become what they despise. An illustration would be how feminists behave in business. They do not hesitate to discriminate against men.

I suspect that the women who have referred to referred to me as a "dirty old man" do so to vent hostility through insult. Some of the hostility comes from the fact that there is no male term for "Old Maid." Do men in these forums use the term "Old Maid?" If we did we would be considered rude and insensitive. We would be banned from the forums!

A big difference between men and woman is that men mature.
Many women dry up inside for failure to forgive the past.
Our ability to forgive make us more enlightened.
 Leeanne
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 36
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:27:13 PM
Well OP as I said - I was labeling the behaviour of shoving dirty - used balls into an unsuspecting woman - the act of a 'dirty old man' - I was not calling you one!
BTW "Old Maid" - A woman who has remained single beyond the conventional age for marrying.
Please note - I am very happily married!
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 37
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:35:40 AM
I can only shake my head at this. Next time a guy is trying to defend himself when someone accuses him of being cheap when he didn't treat for dinner on the first date, he can say "at least I'm not as bad as the old guy with the smartballs who tells a woman he's with that he's going to take them back and use them on the next woman." Putting in used sex toys without telling a woman? Where do you people come from?
 WindSongLover
Joined: 8/8/2008
Msg: 38
Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:41:43 AM
Brilliant!!...You guys just all made my day..This is so funny that I am still laughing...I'd swear this was a script to get people going.

"Smartballs"...isn't that a oxymoron?
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 39
Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:35:43 PM
Girls, don't fight over my balls.
If you're patient, you'll all get a turn.
If you want your own balls buy your own!
(and you talk about me being cheap...)
Until then you'll just have to share my balls.

I have never seen so many spinsters with sex toys and dildos.
You know... if you were nicer, warmer, and less critical, of us guys...
maybe, just maybe, you'd find a caring lover. . .
...you wouldn't need a dildo to keep you company . . .
Lighten up on us guys and we may give you the real deal.
Until then, I hope you're happy with a rubber lover.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 40
Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 4:01:13 PM
When I want this sensation I insert my own smartballs. Not for everyday use but nice as a surprise or for something that makes me squirm during a nice dinner through a date.

:-)
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 41
Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 7:46:37 PM
Dear pink2u, If you lived closer I would challenge you to a tug of war. javascript:smilie('')

Your logic about possession being 9/10 of the law makes sense.

Still, what goes in must come out.

I may just have to camp outside the Gates of Heaven until you want to replace 'our' balls with something juicer. javascript:smilie('')
 Thick224
Joined: 12/16/2006
Msg: 42
Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 8:07:57 PM
If you think that you can reuse some nasty azz ball on a woman that knows it than you are good unless she is as nasty as you. Smart balls can not be a reuseable sex toy, are uhhh..... NASTY that's just like having sex with one person and not washing your azz before you decide to receive oral sex from another. What the hell is the matter with you. I'm going to send your azz back to proper hygiene 101.
 Dumpling-Girl
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 43
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/15/2008 9:16:23 PM

sometimes smartballs are attached to dumb-balls...and that combination is worse than neutral.



 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 44
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 6:38:33 AM

sometimes smartballs are attached to dumb-balls...and that combination is worse than neutral.


Err... dontcha mean dumb-a$$???



They go up her rectum, right?

NO, NO, FREAKING NO!!!
never put anything in the rectum that isn't flanged to prevent it slipping irretrievably in and prompting a trip to the ER to have it removed.
OMG no


While I agree with this statement 100%.. you *could* used the SmartBalls in this manner, but only if you use common sense and only insert ONE of the balls into you. The other would act like a flared base and prevent it from being *lost*... HOWEVER... if you do this, use a condom to protect the toy, otherwise it just became an anal only toy. They can be cleaned and sterilized, but silicone is still a soft porous surface and might retain bacteria that could be transmitted to her vagina at next use. Honestly the only one I would trust for both orifices is glass. Use a condom for everything else!!
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 45
Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:40:42 AM
Glass? You mean like a beer bottle?
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 46
Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 8:20:24 AM
Is this fixation for sex toys related to a Freudian penis envy? Some of these are the size of a rolling pin and are covered with rubber nubs the size of big warts... And you thought that having babies stretched you out... Men don't satisfy you because your 5 horsepower mega-vibrator has left you numb and unfeeling.

What ever happened to the old fashioned way where the man clubbed a woman in the head, and dragged her into the cave for 2.5 minutes of bliss? Then rolled over and went to sleep... Those were the days when women could cook/sew and demands were few.

What can I say? I am basically a primitive kind of guy. I can pound nails, do my own mechanic stuff, hunt (I even skin and butcher my kills), fight, swear, drink beer, etc. I am not representative of of the feminized/emasculated male. I don't even own a tie and don't wear cologne or aftershave. I sweat and bleed. By the way, who the fuk invented ties?

My perception of the American woman is a neurotic who is in constant crisis. No wonder us guys have given up on you and are going elsewhere. Why do you think so many men have turned homosexual or mail-ordered women from outside the country? We are tired of unreal expectations and demands.

On this thread I have attracted postings from several women who sound really cool and have a sense of humor. Women I would enjoy being friends... Unfortunately you're geographically too far away. Even so, we all have been poisoned by a media that has given us unreal expectations. We are all looking for someone younger, better looking, richer, etc. We are all looking for the unattainable...
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 47
Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:33:52 PM
Dear iam2anangel,
Thank you for your thoughtful responses to my inane rant.
With all the negative responses about the recycling of Smartballs I have canceled my order.
With my relationship history I would have to order a case of these things... I suppose that I could give them to female relatives at Xmas... Maybe I should be like everyone else and not care about my lover's sexual fulfillment. It seems that these days it's a race to cum...otherwise you don't... It's the self-centered "me" generation. It's been my experience. It's very difficult to find a woman who actually cares about the male's enjoyment. We take a woman to dinner, make sure she orgasms, then,... end the night masturbating because we never got off. The entire courtship ritual becomes an "energy deficit."
Too often masturbation is a better alternative to being a sex slave. At least we know what we're getting. And, if we're disappointed, we have no one to blame but our selves.

So continues the alienation of our species...
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 48
Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:40:17 PM

sometimes smartballs are attached to dumb-balls...and that combination is worse than neutral.



Yup. Then they end up bouncing off a dumb-ass.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 49
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Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:58:08 PM

Glass? You mean like a beer bottle?


No. I mean.. Medical / Pharma grade Borosilicate Glass (Pyrex®) ... curious??


Is this fixation for sex toys related to a Freudian penis envy? Some of these are the size of a rolling pin and are covered with rubber nubs the size of big warts... And you thought that having babies stretched you out... Men don't satisfy you because your 5 horsepower mega-vibrator has left you numb and unfeeling.


No. I dare you to find a single rolling pin or 5 hp vibe in my toy boxes... yes... multiple containers. Two kids, not stretched out, not numb and the men I've been with haven't had to share toys between me and their previous lovers.


What ever happened to the old fashioned way where the man clubbed a woman in the head, and dragged her into the cave for 2.5 minutes of bliss? Then rolled over and went to sleep... Those were the days when women could cook/sew and demands were few.


PHEW!! Thank goodness things have improved since then!! Most women I know can't get off in 2.5 min. BTW... I had a relationship with a neanderthal who was only concerned with his pleasure instead of mine.


We are tired of unreal expectations and demands.


Explains why so many women are coming out as bisexual or lesbian. Sheesh. *rolls eyes* How can you sit there with your unreal expectations and demands of being pleased if you are unwilling to meet those of your female partners??? Double standard?

By the way... I think you will notice that the majority of the respondants to this thread have no problem with you buying your lover a toy... or using said toy on her. The majority object to you RECYCLING said toy onto a new lover. I was discussing this thread the other day with my guy and he walked away from a $3,000 toy collection he and his ex had developed together. Ok.. he walked away with a handful of the toys, but they were HIS, never used on her or by her on herself.

No one expects you to be something you aren't. Someone out there will want a guy like you. However, try to respect her and her body and don't reuse toys from partner to partner. That's just gross.
 howtosurvivechaos.com
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 50
Smartballs
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:17:13 PM
" I was discussing this thread the other day with my guy and he walked away from a $3,000 toy collection he and his ex had developed together. Ok.. he walked away with a handful of the toys, but they were HIS, never used on her or by her on herself."

And I thought that buying $25 Smartballs was splurging.
Did your guy need a trailer to carry around his $3000 collection of dildos?
And, he had his own toys.... So what did they do in bed?
She fukked her dildos and he fukked his blow up woman...
Is this how love in the future will be?

I think I'm going to spend my $25 on some Smart Water.
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