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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Our walls are thick and high.      Home login  
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 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 22
Our walls are thick and high.Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
well at times I thought I was a born a fool ...
but what can you do . i for ones refused to give up that there are good and honest people in this world , call me naive, or anything you want ...
have I been played befor , heck yes ,, I have my share , but I tryed to turn it to the positive side . yes maby I got played but there is always an upside to all of that ...
If you still early with the break up , you just cant see the positive side yet ,,, as days go by and you get more distance between you and the situation it gets better ....
I learned that the ones that played me get played worse in the end and that they are the real loosers ....
I had a wall arround me that would have made FT knox proud , but after time past I took it down myself ...
I am more aware of what people do to me or for me ,,,.......
I still have a shield up , and I do good with that , I guess the most important part is to believe in your self .. dont stop loving others because of some jerks and be happy with what ever comes your way , or at least try ...
sorry you had to go thru this
good luck
kathy
 Indomitable1
Joined: 7/14/2008
Msg: 23
Our walls are thick and high.
Posted: 9/21/2008 12:53:50 PM
Been there – done that.

Some men see having sex with a woman as a conquest, and will endeavor to have as many conquests as they can. I have found that there are some women out there who have a very similar orientation, but their conquest is getting men to fall in love with them. Once they have accomplished that and satisfied their inner need to prove to themselves that they could do it, they're off to the next conquest.

I totally understand the instinct of building walls higher and thicker to keep out such women – but to do so means that you will end up keeping out ALL women and will lead a lonely and increasingly bitter life. I think it probably goes both ways (for men and women) – it is much easier to discourage good people from being in your life because they aren't trying to prove anything. (Women take note – that guy who just seemed to “slip away” might be a whole lot better for you than that jerk who keeps calling and calling...)

My advice is to take about 1,000 deep breaths and realize that building walls higher and thicker is not what you should do. Be careful with your heart. Be very, very careful who you trust and how much. Keep your eyes wide open and pay attention to red flags. But always remember that life is short, and going through it alone is not fun.
 diamondgirl2727
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 24
Our walls are thick and high.
Posted: 9/21/2008 8:36:09 PM
smileee4u, the verse is "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" big difference......
 QUICKSILVER217
Joined: 11/22/2006
Msg: 25
Our walls are thick and high.
Posted: 9/21/2008 9:51:38 PM
Did it cross your mind that she may not have been able to cope with the prospect of being loved? Some people see themselves as a fixer, then they can't live with change.
Grow from this experience, you should be proud that you were able to step forward, it says a lot about you and your growth. Yes she ran away, for all the reasons people often have, but now is not the time to return to your cave- you are out now. Live!
 DamCute
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 26
Our walls are thick and high.
Posted: 9/22/2008 4:13:36 PM
I put up walls to keep the bungholes at bay.
Plus I'm old fashioned.
This dating generation kind of scares me a bit. And no one wants to take their time or be sincere. Or maybe their afraid too. Who knows.
I'd just like to take my time. Love doen'st happen over night. Everything you're blessed with in a relationship comes with time and work and patience and selflessness and That just doens't seem possible nowadays.
That doesn't stop me from still keeping myself good for the right person. That bitter thing seems to be working tho. .Got to put the kabash on that one. heh.

I've had quite a few blows. I can actually say the guys I've went on dates with have actually been mannerly, but all in all. It's easier just to take a hot bath and go to bed after posting this with the magazine I just bought.

I have come to realize that I dont have to search the answer as to why I dont have someone to care for in the romantic sense. I'm just content right now until that time I'm suprised caring for others in my life and being blessed by their trust and confidence in me.

I'm not depressed so much as dissappointed. But I'm not going to negotiate my self respect to get a date.

sorry. just in one of those moods.

peace
 limabeen
Joined: 12/2/2006
Msg: 27
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History
Our walls are thick and high.
Posted: 1/8/2009 6:46:37 PM
I just posted this on another thread....


Whenever you put these "walls" up because someone has lied, cheated, or whatever they have done to you, you give them power over you. They may not know that they have this power but whenever you don't give the next person you may be interested in a chance due to what happened in your past, you are letting the ex control your decisions. You might tend to judge the next person by the way they might say or do something that reminds you of the person that hurt you. They could be the same as your ex or it may be a coincidence. In the end you are still giving the person that hurt you power over you. Take that power away from them and give the next person a honest chance, just keep your eyes open and trust them until they give you a reason not to.
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