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Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 32
Selfish loverPage 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I just moved where I am two months ago (and the moving is the main reason my last serious relationship broke up; we're close friends now). I also went through a two-year celibate period brought on by medical necessity, as I had a then unsuccessfully treated medical condition that made sex too painful for me. I've earned my assertive sexuality the hard way, thanks.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 33
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 2:23:22 PM
. . . or it could be that this guy is selfish person and lover, and that she's better off having discovered that early into the relationship and not wasting any more time with him. At any rate, I DO consider it his fault that he's selfish toward her; only he is responsible for his actions. She simply needs to make the decision to put up with it or not, which she has.

Not everyone wants or needs to make the same decisions you do, and that's okay.
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 34
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 3:01:29 PM
Sleeping with someone early has nothing to do with lack of respect and being a selfish lover. I have always slept with someone very early in a relationship, and just about all have turned into LTRs. Sexual compatability is very important to me, and we better find that out before investing too much time.

Not all guys think like the neaderthals you think we are. This guy was just a loser and a lousy lover.
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 35
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 3:10:26 PM

He says he is very sensitive, I do believe him. He was hurt pretty bad my his ex and thinks all women lie.

Hmmm, sounds like a catch.

"All yew wimmin lie!"
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 38
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:58:55 PM

I do think it is relevant because having sex too quickly and before there is any relationship makes it very easy for someone to become selfish because quite frankly he does not care if you get yours.

I don't know what kind of guys you date, but I disagree. A selfish lover will be that way no matter who he's with. A good lover cares about his partners pleasure, no matter what kind of relationship they are or are not in.
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 39
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:09:31 PM

Oh come on, having sex isn't the issue, his being a jerk is. .

Exactly. It sounds like if she was with this guy for any amount of time, he would still be an asshat. It's better she find out now, then later. I suggest you get rid of this guy. He's not satisfying you anyway. That's no fun.
Joined: 7/25/2008
Msg: 41
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 7:46:39 PM
It's jerks like him that give the rest of us bad names.


be sure to tell him why, and that it's a done deal.

Good Luck
Joined: 9/2/2006
Msg: 44
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/14/2008 11:39:54 PM
I'm with the other girls in this post. He may have been hurt by his ex, but don't allow him to hurt you. From this man's point of view half the fun of a loving intimate relationship is the giving and satisfying of her needs. It's better going without that putting up with that!
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 46
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/15/2008 8:51:06 AM

Or are you just settling - don't believe you are worth more?

There will always be men and women who are selfish and insensitive lovers, but those people get away with it because there are always those that let them.

Why would you have allowed the intimacy of intercourse, or given oral to a man who wouldn't kiss you, regardless of the excuses he made?

OP....people will not respect you until you respect yourself.
Joined: 6/11/2007
Msg: 47
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:07:05 AM

He is incredibly selfish.
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 49
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:52:43 PM
Isn't it interesting that no matter how bad he is at sex and how little he knows (or cares) about how to please a woman in bed, he still gets regular, easy sex from you?

The fact that I hear about this happening again and again proves a point I strongly believe: that when it comes to the "selection process", most women really don't care how good a guy is in bed.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 50
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/16/2008 2:24:36 AM
^Except that the whole point of this post is that she DOES care. If you'll read the comments, you'll also see that she ended it.

All the women I know care how good their partners are in bed, so I don't know where you come up with this assumption.
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 51
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/16/2008 3:39:27 AM
Well yes, she did end it, after giving him all the sex he wanted. I wouldn't be worried if I was him; there are plenty of other girls around who'll put up with lame sex because they think it's "love". :)

Maybe the same ones who like to string losers like me along for kicks!
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 53
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/20/2008 11:56:08 AM
Its obvious he doesnt love u and he is useing u till something better comes along.Me im sensitive.i would way rather please my partner than my self many times over than myself ,specially if really attracted to the person in the 1 st place add love look out .Doesnt sound like he is sexually atracted to u .Says likes to go down but sounds like but not on u .i know guys who can b turned off by doin that by the sahpe ,size and or smell etc of that region.just like some woman would like amans bigger or circumsized or not and so he gets off and is bein selfish ,thats not sensitivemove on ,he will dump u when 1 comes along wit whatever body style that he attracted to comes along>wham ,bam ,thank u mam ,how old is this guy im 43 and could go for hours,specially with the right person ,get my drift?
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 54
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:44:47 PM
comeing back on for this same message,she beat me to it.he treats u no better than a hooker ,no candleligt ,no romance .Sounds like a really bad porno,got the wonka,wonka ,wonka music goin in he background
Joined: 10/9/2006
Msg: 56
Selfish lover
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:31:33 PM
Even thoug she ended it ,she is very insucere an d will b reading more of these post to conferm that she is doing the right thing by leaving him,even so could go into things she did very wrong as well .What does that say for one whom would b wit someone like that in the 1 st place ,lack of better judgement ,no common sense.Couldgo on an on here .Iwas brought up with no family ,no morals ,no role models ,terrible child hood but learned through live .did neither one of these peps have proper upbringing ,i know i had an excuse but if people r goin to b so ignorant please tell us what happened in life to make such bad choices.saw where she got mad at 1 womans opinion,u post here dont get mad if people try to open yuor eyes by being blunt as 1 red head lady put on here may hey live an learn to make this a better world ,to many disfunctional people out there .keeps jerry springer in bussiness
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 59
Selfish lover
Posted: 10/16/2008 9:43:38 PM
I think you've got a pretty consistand reply as to what people interpret his actions to reflect. I once had a girlfriend like that. For a while it was delightful. Mostly because i really enjoyed ... ummm...Shall we say making her happy. But eventually you'll see the selfishness reflected in other aspects of your relationship. Abusive relationships frequently begin this way. Look at him for who and what he IS rather than what you'd like him to be.

Best wishes and good luck. I know it's hard.
Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 62
Selfish lover
Posted: 2/13/2009 6:33:27 PM
Some people are just selfish no matter what. This guy deserves to be alone. He is a major selfish jerk.
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 64
Selfish lover
Posted: 11/19/2011 5:07:10 PM
Wow, the story the OP told sounds a lot like the man I was dating. . .he was very selfish, liked me going down on him, but never asked what I liked He didn't like to kiss that much, or cuddle, either..And this is after I took off work, and rearranged my schedule to pick him up from the airport. Maybe I knew it wasn't going to work out, so I made up some story involving my ex, and never heard back from him again.
Joined: 1/29/2011
Msg: 65
Selfish lover
Posted: 11/20/2011 5:45:39 AM
Come on!...dump the chump....he says this and says that....does nothing.....NEVER have Ive been with a woman in bed and not enjoyed kissing and closeness...and as for her satisfaction....thats a given even bfore me!....tell him to hit the road!....your worth more than that!...good luck girl!
Joined: 10/2/2011
Msg: 66
Selfish lover
Posted: 11/20/2011 9:04:09 AM
Are you crazy? Talk about a total jerk. Sounds to me like he is totally disrespectfull? Lose the creap and buy yourself a toy.
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 67
Selfish lover
Posted: 11/20/2011 11:26:01 AM
Wow! What a winner!
He MUST receive Pineapple award rectally and without lubrication.
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 68
Selfish lover
Posted: 2/23/2017 5:46:26 AM
well the OP left the building, so she followed your first sentence literally :)

people stick with partners who give them what they are really searching for. not everyone wants a healthy relationship, b/c then they have to step up and be a healthy adult. Easier to act like a child.
Joined: 3/4/2017
Msg: 69
view profile
Selfish lover
Posted: 3/7/2017 4:59:32 PM
A lot of men... well, BOYS are like this. They only seek their own satisfaction. I am sorry it happened to you but you already have your answer. Just read what you said here. It isn't you, it is him and his selfish needs.
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