Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 2
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they wantPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Raise your own kids and stop worrying about how other people are raising theirs. If his kids are spoiled, so what, He is not spoiling your kids now is he. Don't you have enough to worry about with YOUR own kids?.
 Wildman46
Joined: 6/4/2008
Msg: 3
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 9/21/2008 7:35:27 AM
How will it effect her exactly, Is he asking her for the money to buy things for his kids?. Is he going to her house and telling her how to raise her kids?. It only effect her if she let it effect her by sticking her nose where it don't belong. The way she raises her kids is her business, The way her boyfriend raises his, Is his business.

If at some point they get married and blend their families, Then she have every right to speak her mind about how all the kids in the household are raised, until then, she should stick to minding her own business.
 wanderbaby
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 4
view profile
History
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 9/21/2008 11:56:17 AM
If I had the money, I'd spoilt my daughter like crazy but i'd put boundaries and I wouldn't let her get everything she wants. nor would I make her work if she's sick. but then it's all about ap arent's preference in doing things. If you don't feel comfortable with what your bf is doing, then perhaps yous hould break it off since youd on't agree with his parenting style. If his kids are being brattish towards you or the kids and if your bf isnt' addressing it after you address it to him that it's becoming a problem, then break it off.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 5
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 9/21/2008 4:45:29 PM
I don't think you are being unreasonable, but I am not sure how much he will listen to you.

To others who think she should just keep out of it. I think her thinking just shows that she truly cares about this man and his children. If she didn't she probably wouldn't give any of it the first thought.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 6
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 9/23/2008 6:04:21 AM

I don't understand the problem. What's wrong with showering the people you love with kindness, gifts and attention? Are the children misbehaving some how?


I think the problem with giving children everything they want keeps them from developing a sense of what things are worth, and the work that it takes to get them. Children that have to earn extra things are more likely to grow up to be responsible adults.

What I don't understand is why so many are coming down so hard on this woman, who seems to truly care about her boyfriends children.

I am starting to see you just can't win, if you date someone with children still at home. You are meant to bend over backwards for the children, but keep your thoughts to yourself on anything about the children. If I care about someone I have a real hard time keeping my thoughts to myself. Time for a profile update?
 sugarcookie
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 8
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 10/28/2008 10:04:01 PM
I totally agree with FullspeedaheadO8-If someone has this much difficulty while dating, what future is there for you? You would resent the kids, he would resent you, and the kids would likely play all that up to the hilt. I feel sorry for any children who have to live with only one parent due to any circumstances---but in the long run, spoiled children wind up being spoiled adults and when they can't get their way...it's not pretty...believe me.
 NotInnocent
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 9
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 10/29/2008 5:15:15 AM
I love our play station.. when my son isn't grounded off it we have battles to see who can do better at guitar hero. We are hoping Santa bring us another guitar so we can play 2 player and the WII so we can really have some fun. Of course Santa has to bring those for us.. mommy can't afford it. :)

There is nothing wrong with givin gyour kids what they want. If it's within your means to do so. I will do that too. When he is behaving and doing things that he is supposed to I come home with movies or video games or little presents that he has asked me for. When he is misbehaving he gets no such treatment and previous gifts are taken away. People just need tolove thier kids anyway they know how. If his kids are good and well mannered and understand that daddy does this because he wants to not because they are entitled then all is well. My son knows that mommy will buy him extras when he is good, well behaved little man if I can, but he is not entilited to it and good behavoir does not mean he will get something. It is expected of him.
 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 10
view profile
History
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 10/31/2008 6:52:39 PM
You and your boyfriend have a different parenting style. Is this something you can live with or is this issue big enough to move on to someone more likeminded. I am sure there are many more differences and now is the time to explore them and see if a compromise can be reached or do you step back or do you leave.
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 11
my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:35:19 AM
I certainly can't get my kids everything they ask for...and wouldn't even if I could afford it. What's left to wish/work for if you already have everything you want?

I do have a friend who buys his kids expensive stuff (wii's playstations, etc.), but not because of guilt over divorce issues and certainly not everything they ask for! These kids have jobs and help out with home and grandparents. They are intelligent and respectful as well. Do they deserve the gifts...yes.

I try to compensate for not buying "expensive" by replacing them with "fun" things instead...we recently bought a bunch of old nintendo, snes and n64 consoles and games at a rummage sale and have been having a great time with them....my friend (above) actually comes over on the weekends to play with our toys instead of staying home with his expensive ones!

The fact that his kids are spoiled brats...not your problem...just keep his kids away from yours...I guarantee your kids will NOT get along with his!
Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > my boyfriend gives his kids everything they want