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 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 54
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Sure-Fire First-Date KillersPage 2 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Wow... Sweetbabeblues sure has one heck of a story!
How... what? Frp!
My god!!! Where do these weird dates come from, huh? Man... I can honestly say, none of my dates have been that bad.
 ponytailoftx
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 55
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/24/2008 12:32:11 AM
Saw a snake on my porch tonight and it scared me ... can't sleep! Found this thread ... OMG ... I'm feeling sooo happy that I've not suffered as many scary dates as y'all seem to find!

I've had some strange ones but, Joe sir ... you are some kind of brave man to keep trying and still have enough humor to laugh with us about it!

The more I read ... the more it seems that y'all have WAY stronger freak magnets on your heads than the one I'm wearing ... who'd a thunk it?

 plenty of tiger
Joined: 6/1/2007
Msg: 56
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/24/2008 5:45:38 AM
How about....
her: Nice car...still has the new car smell
him: yeah I like it
her: what kind of gas mileage does it get?
him: I don't know
her: really? I wouldn't buy a car without knowing the MPG.
him: oh it isn't mine, I don't own a car I just got a rental for our date
her: (thinking) you live 2 hours away and don't own a car???
her: so your going to rent a car for each date?
him: sure, what else do I spend my money on? I live in my mom's house and my kids are with my ex
her: that's nice (thinking) can I go home now?

This was a real date I had, the date itself turned out nice but after our 2nd date he wanted me to drive from that point on. Killed on date 2 when I should have stopped at date one. Live and learn.
 diamonds_or_pearls
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 59
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:34:46 PM
I just skimmed and only read the initial post, but by gosh, you are funny and meet some real winners!
 venusflytrap
Joined: 5/18/2007
Msg: 60
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/27/2008 12:47:04 AM
I met one who I didn't think we were going to click, but there was a bunch of us from POF going out so I invited him along. He shows up drunk, strike number one. I am listening to him talk and he is using all these young expressions, so I was 'how old are u again?', you said 32right? he is 'no I am really 36, I lie on my profile so the younger girls will talk to me. Ummmm..........

Then he proceeds to tell me that his last girlfriend was 23, the one before that 18. I asked him if he had ever dated anyone his own age, he said not since high school. He tried to reassure me of his sincere intentions by saying that he supported his last girlfriend so she did not have to work.Yeah I am sure that is why she was dating a 36 year old,lol.

So he is trying to convince me how he will 'take care of me', and said that he is ready for a real relationship now and ready for a mature woman. I actually laughed and told what made him think he could handle ME after only dealing with 18-23 year olds .

I had one a long time ago when there were only phone chats . I was talking to this one guy and he seemed fairly decent. He lived out of town and he ended up showing up half an hour early, I felt bad since it was an Edmonton winter I told him he could come in for a drink while I finished getting ready.

I was putting on makeup and he is 'oh u are prettier than I thought u would be',okay that is sort of a dumb comment but I can live with it. Then it was 'you have nice straight teeth', okaaaay (turns out he owned cows, I think it was meant as a compliment). Then the kicker. 'Well your boobs are not as big as you said they were'.WTF? I LIED? lol, I know what size my bras are. He is 'well I won't touch you, I am an expert, I can just put my hands in front of you and tell you what size you really are'.(he said this with a straight face). I am like no I dont think so, and he tried to convince me that he wouldnt touch me.
All I am thinking is I let this lunatic into my house!I managed to fake a migraine and he called for days after wanting to meet again...............
 exiss
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 62
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/28/2008 11:45:57 AM
I had an interesting one.... initial walk in the park with a widow I met, seems that she caught her husband with kiddie porn, and found him chattin with girls online.... turned him in and filed for divorce. Right before the lightning hit the latrine he calls her up and leaves a voicemail detailing everything he wants her to have done, house, wills etc. She says there was this odd crackling sound in the background, then he says he has to go and hangs up. Turns out that he set his car on fire with him in it, and the last thing he did was call her up.
Pretty much creeped me out.
Needless to say I wasn't thinking anything romantic after that.....
 ________
Joined: 12/24/2006
Msg: 66
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 9/28/2008 8:07:07 PM
It's hard to say if these encourage people to date more people because they are priceless situation comedy -- or less because in the moment they're utter disasters. The two likely cancel out -- hope springs eternal.
 djrdx
Joined: 7/22/2004
Msg: 69
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/1/2008 5:26:55 AM
wow, i thought i had gone out with some crazy women before... but you guys win hands down... mine have been TAME by comparison
heh
 Divinity
Joined: 2/16/2008
Msg: 74
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/4/2008 10:14:06 PM
I am speechless and rolling on the floor laughing
 4UMaybe
Joined: 8/3/2007
Msg: 75
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/5/2008 8:46:36 AM
Thanks for the laughs....This thread was very entertaining....Sorry to hear about some of the dates but the fact that you are still on POF shows you can get knocked down but if you want something badly enough you can keep getting back up....

I wish you all terrific dates!!!!
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/5/2008 1:45:57 PM
I hate it when we stop at a convenience store for a pack of ciggies and he tells me to keep the car running, then comes dashing out waving his gun and jumps back in the car screaming Drive!! Drive!! I mean, I know cigarettes are expensive nowadays, but come on!
 SmotherMe8
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 77
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/5/2008 5:42:39 PM
I've only gone on a few dates since my last relationship ended back in January, but they all seem to end the same... With me thinking "My god, why bother?!"
The first one I met on Yahoo, and I also met a girl who lived over by him and was good friends with him. I chatted with both of them for a while, and finally decided to meet them. The guy, no lie, looked just like Tom Cruise. And he was freakin nuts. He tried to get me to sleep with him on his friends bed. I told him no, and then made the mistake of telling her. I say 'mistake' because she ended up taking him home and then taking me back home. She and I are still friends. But since then, he's tried setting us against each other and telling each other how much the other likes him and then pretending someone hacks into his account so he can go nuts on us, telling us not to talk to him. I'm sick of him. Haven't talked to him in about 5 mths now.
One of the other ones I actually met through a friend. We hung out sometimes, and I decided to have someone get his number for me. We ended up chatting for a few days, then he asked me if I would go to a movie with him. I said "sure, why not?" and we went and watched that stupid Adam Sandler movie that was out in July. He wouldn't stop trying to kiss me and touch me and didn't seem to get that I don't want someone getting that close to me when I barely know them. I faked feeling sick afterwards (although the kisses did kind of make me feel that way) and had him take me home, where he forced me to kiss him again. I say force because I pushed him away, and he just pulled me closer. Needless to say, I told him I never wanted to see him again and only see him on occasion when he happens to be at the bar when I am.
I refuse to go on first dates to movies. People get way to hands-y when the lights go out.
 diamonds_or_pearls
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 78
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:08:07 PM
These are hilarious!

Many years ago (back when T-top Camaros were all the rage), I was set up on a blind date by a co-worker with a pilot from the Base here. The pilots used to all have the fancy sports cars, and being a kid, that was impressive to me. So the guy picks me up and we go have dinner at the nicest place in town. Nice guy, well dressed, smells WONDERFUL and I'm thinking this is going well. My parents always made me be home at midnight, and so we had enough time for a movie too. During the walk from the car to the theater, he's got his arm around my waist pulling me up to him, walking hip to hip. The only time he lets go is to pay for the tickets. We find a seat and he puts his arm around me and his head down almost on my chest.
Movie gets over and we are on the way home. He passes my house.
Me---you just passed my house
him---we'll stop on the way back
Me---I have to be home in 4 minutes
Him--I'll talk to your dad if we are late
Me---You really DON'T want to talk to my dad or make me late

He pulls into this store parking lot that was closed and acts like he is turning around and all of a sudden, slams it into park and pounces on me before I can draw a breath. He has me plastered up against the door facing him, one hand on each side of me bracing himself, and he starts trying to kiss me, but ends up licking my face because I keep turning away. I finally got him to take me home. We pull into the driveway and he slows down enough for me to pop the door open and escape. He puts the car in park and as I am putting my key in the door of the house, pops out over the top of the car (T-tops were off) and says "Now that I've got you, don't think you are getting away!!!" I locked the door quick!

The next day, phone rings and it's him.
Him---you want to go out tonight?
Me---no, I didn't have a good time last night and I don't think we should go out again
Him--you didn't have a good time? I did, so you should go out with me again.
Me----click (hanging up the phone)

Next day at work I told my co-worker not to set me up again.
 diamonds_or_pearls
Joined: 6/18/2008
Msg: 80
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/15/2008 6:17:36 AM
We have to keep this thread bumped for more laughs!
 Mecca25
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 81
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/15/2008 6:23:31 AM
I had a chick offer me cocaine on a 1st date, I was like whoa what the hell. One I don't do that and 2 if we get pulled over and I go to jail there's going to be a serious issue...and then after that I didn't speak with her again.

I always seem to get nutty ones like that, never fails.
 oddandy
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 82
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/15/2008 9:41:55 AM

Her: “I think you’re a nice guy and I can change you.”


He should be very thankful that it came out on the first date and not after the wedding.
 Deserea1
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 86
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nativemetalgrl = hilarious!
Posted: 10/29/2008 11:05:33 AM
You cracked me up! (cash and prizes) you gave me my laugh of the day!
Thanks
 4plait
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 89
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/31/2008 6:48:00 AM
Dear Gentle Reader : ....the woman who brought her dog for the dog's approval of me ...or the woman who brought a girl friend for a second opinion....
 dub08
Joined: 4/28/2007
Msg: 90
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 10/31/2008 8:32:35 AM
The guy - from this site - who wanted to bring his female friend along as we needed to like each other for his future plans!! Didnt go on that date!!
 softy63
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 93
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/17/2008 8:07:33 PM
This has to be the funniest thread I've read so far!!

Poor Joe. What a bunch of wierdo's !! You picked some good ones!!
And sweetbabyblues ?? What a memorable birthday!! After driving around for three and a half hours you finally get to eat. He demanded you eat that horrible cold and bleeding steak?? And he had one drink and blamed you because his stomach hurt? That's hilarious.

Message # 50 . He cried at the football game because he said you were being mean when you cracked it because he shoved his hand down the back of your pants???

I hope I'm not the last post. Keep the stories coming.....please.....!!
 CRAZY 4 DOGS
Joined: 9/12/2006
Msg: 95
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/1/2008 2:29:18 PM
OMFG! If these r seriously true you should consider selling this stuff to a stand up comedian, or starting a reality show " untold stories of internet dating" . You could be a millionaire!
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 97
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:54:36 AM

Number 1:
Her: “Have you ever really evaluated your relationship with God?”
Me: “Um, well, I guess. Why?”
Her: (Digging in her purse) “I think you should read these pamphlets…”


Her : "are you SURE you have adequate life insurance? take a look at these.."

Her: "have you ever thought about a fantastic business opportunity?"

(hands you an Amway flyer/recruitment material)

Her: "are you right with God?"

(hands you Jehovah's Witness propaganda)
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 98
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 7:56:04 AM

"So I was thinking we could take a vacation in March and go skiing in Vale."


um, where is "Vale"?

is the skiing there nearly as good as it is in VAIL, CO ?
 plebayo
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 100
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:20:05 PM
"I'm a magician. You know card tricks and stuff. I could show you a trick sometime."



I showed him a trick too, it involved me disappearing.
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