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Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 98
Sure-Fire First-Date KillersPage 3 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)

"So I was thinking we could take a vacation in March and go skiing in Vale."

um, where is "Vale"?

is the skiing there nearly as good as it is in VAIL, CO ?
Joined: 7/7/2008
Msg: 100
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/9/2008 9:20:05 PM
"I'm a magician. You know card tricks and stuff. I could show you a trick sometime."

I showed him a trick too, it involved me disappearing.
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 101
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/10/2008 8:22:27 PM
O I got one that beats them all...

Me: I haven't dated in over a year, I just have been hanging out with my daughter..
Him: well I haven't dated in a year either..I just need to find a woman who LIKES anal and will do it when I want..hope that doesn't offend you...

Good God! Then sent me a trillion text wanting to know why I hadn't been talking to him! LMAO..
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 104
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 12/13/2008 6:42:57 PM
My condolences....lmao!
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 105
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 1/16/2009 8:43:40 AM
Damn pretty good stories if I do say so myself,I hope to get a few in the near future....Oh they were all loons to the umpteenth degree!!!
Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 107
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 1/17/2009 9:44:41 PM
ha ha.. i got a good one.. Never can forget this one.. ever..

date was actually our second tho.. first was movies so we didn't really talk..
After our dinner had arrived and he has ordered his 6th beer...

Me: So tell me a little about your parents? You seem pretty close to them.
Him: Yes I am pretty close to them. I wish they would get along better though.
Me: Oh I'm sorry to hear that. Are they divorced?
Him: Oh no they aren't divorced. but my father used to be an abusive alocholic and my mother has never forgiven him.
Me: Oh that's terrible!
Him: Yea my mom gets on my case about my drinking and my anger issues and everything. She doesn't want me to turn out like him. I mean I drink alot and I lose my temper sometimes but I am nothing like him.
Me: Anger issues?
Him: Yea, sometimes I lose my cool in situations where I shouldn't especially if I've been drinking, but I have that mostly under control now.
~And he orders another beer~
Me: Excuse me I have to use the bathroom
*I left*

Another guy asked me to marry him on our first date.. I thought he was kidding.. till he called me the next day wanting an answer....

Joined: 9/7/2007
Msg: 109
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 1/18/2009 10:15:00 AM
ha ha ha.. I thought of another one.. actually the date itself went well.

After it was over thoough he called me and told me he was going to call and leave something on my voicemail that he wanted me to listen to. I thought that was odd, but ok whatever..

So he calls me not once, not twice, but THREE times to leave this ridiclous voicemail where he BEGS me to call him back so we can meet anywhere I want, anytime I want as long as its comfortable for both of us so we can..and i quote.. "make-out, you know kiss.. because I really want to.. with you" and from there it just got worse and worse. He left his number about 9 times and then told me to call him an if he doesnt' answer leave a message, with a yes or no and the reasons why it's a yes or no.. and if he doesn't call me back after 30 minutes to keep calling until he answers..

Hmm.. I didn't call him back.. and thankfully he didn't call me again either..

Entertainment value of these voicemails was a 10!
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 112
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/2/2009 10:25:52 PM

#7. Because I've lived my life learning how to be more than just a penis, despite what the cosmo magazine in your Vera Wang purse will have you believe [yes, actual magazine. Actual purse.]


You'd be surprised to know the overwhelming majority of the male population are NOT dogs, contrary to what some members of 'the sisterhood' would have you believe.
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 116
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:36:54 AM
Later on, when kissing him goodbye, he wispered "Wanna go in the back of my car and have sex?"

Golly gee - and you let this prize slip through your fingers? LOL.
Joined: 11/17/2008
Msg: 117
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 2/5/2009 6:43:18 AM
Just a year, I would have thought more like a lifetime!
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 120
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 4/10/2009 5:57:26 PM
Good grief, man, you have got to learn how to screen people more carefully, YIKES...

Suz aka Sami
Joined: 5/22/2009
Msg: 123
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/12/2009 5:07:15 PM
Number 8:
Her: “Are you spiritual?”
Me: “Yeah, I believe I am. I think what you do and how you act is the most important thing in life.”
Her: “No, I mean spiritual.”
Me: “Um, yeah, that’s what I was talking about. You know…taking interest and responsibility for you actions. Honor, integrity…things like that…right?”
Her: “No, I mean spiritual…like into spirits. Do you believe in them?
Me: “Well…I really don’t know. I never saw one if that is what you’re asking.”
Her: “I see them all the time. I can talk to them.”

This one must be really common because a few of my friends have told me similar stories. Then again, I live in So Cal.
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 129
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/15/2009 3:06:27 PM
Wow. If these are seriously true I am feeling pretty dang lucky. My worst...

Ten minutes into our first date...
Him: You have really great boobs, can I touch them?
Me: Umm, right. So I gotta go now.
Him: No, wait. I was kidding, just trying to break the ice. Not about your boobs, though, cuz they're great. I mean, not that I'm looking. But I'm not NOT looking either. I mean, yeah, if you let me touch them I'd be psyched... Nevermind. Would it make you feel better if I let you touch my c**k??


Joined: 11/10/2006
Msg: 130
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/19/2009 12:36:46 PM
well the last date from here that i went on was simply meet at a park for a walk...sounds simple least that was what her husband thought when he caught us..........

the first date on pof was nice when we were cooking out but when her daughter ( off her prozac) came after me with an eight inch butcher knife and I had to take it away from her and handcuff her to restrain her......I am a cop by proffession........LETS BE CAREFUL OUT THERE..............................................................................LMAO..NOW................
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 131
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/19/2009 1:35:44 PM
LOL good times!

Everyone I've meet has been pretty much normal.

 Jade Angel in MD
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 132
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 6/19/2009 3:41:38 PM
Lol...thank you for the great stories!! I thought I was the only one on this site that has run into psychos, liars and losers. I decided to start a journal detailing my time on POF. Since some of the stories are so unbelievable.

This is one of my favorites:
I call him Babys daddy:
I meet this guy on here we email back and forth for two days then exchange phone numbers and text/call each other for three more days. We decide to meet and he invites me up to his town (about an hour from me) for a dinner and drinks. He tells me I can have his couch and not to worry about anything. So I head up for the date and we meet, everything is great. We have tons of fun out and I even got to meet a few of his friends. Totally nice guy and very polite. I spent the night and he was a total gentleman and did not try anything but to kiss me. The next morning I leave and he tells me to call him when I get home so he knows I got there ok. I call him and everything seems good. Later on that night when he calls he doesnt want to talk and tells me that he is tired and he will call me the next day. But the next day I get a text saying he cant see me or talk to me anymore and that he is sorry. So I call him to find out what is up and tell him that a text to say that was rude!! He then tells me that he had gotten a letter in the mail the day before stating that the DNA test his ex had made him take 2 months before had come back and he was now a father. So he needed to go back to his ex and try to work things out. WTF? He had told me about how this girl, with no mention of a child, had cheated on him a million times and that the last straw was when he caught her in bed with some other guy!!! (FYI: this guy deleted his profile the same day he told me about going back to his ex).
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 134
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 7/20/2009 1:43:11 PM
Lol omg. what the hell. people are crazy
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 141
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/26/2009 1:23:37 PM
Had one the other night who within a short hour managed to bring up:

1) How low the waitress wore her top so low to intentionally show him her tits
2) How women stare at his "package" then pushed back from the table as if daring me to look
3) A novelty pen his mom bought him that was the size of a dildo
4) How the only use he has for women is when he's horny

Joined: 11/2/2008
Msg: 144
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/26/2009 9:31:34 PM
Him: Hi, I am a x professional football player, Chipendales dancer and body guard for Barbra Streisand. My x girlfriend had a black AMEX but I dumped her when I was cleaning out her computer and found pictures of her in a threesome. I went to prison for a year for kidnapping my son from his mother, the ****. I always drive a BMW but right now I have a 1998 Dodge pick up now because I wanted something to move furniture. I saved Dell over 3 million in law suits last year even though my title is tech support.
Me: Really.
Him: And I rescued a parrot when he was young and know he is about 36 inchs tall. You know that a parrots tongue is very feathery and soft when you kiss it.
Me:(Leaving to go the bathroom where I can beat my head against the wall).

Another first date:
Him 20 minutes late: Sorry I just forgot about time.
Next 30 minutes was all about him being a big x CIO now selling insurance. Then he talked about Spitzer who got caught with the prostitute.
Him: Paul McCartney should have got him that prostitute. She was HOT!! Instead he married that gold digging one legged gimp.
Me (thinking) the only word I got in edge wise was that I work for a disability rights organization.
Me: Well maybe Paul didn't want a prostitue and actually believed in love.
Him: Well that prostitute was HOT and it would have saved him millions of dollars and at least she had two legs.
Time to go. Walking out to the parking lot:
M (thinking) I know he said he was 5 10 so I must be standing on a curb. I look around and, no it isn't a curb. The song "We represent the Lollipop Guild" starts going through my head.
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 145
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/27/2009 3:25:59 AM
I like number 6 and want to meet one like that... lol
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 146
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/27/2009 4:27:43 AM
This is true.

She works in a large well known bank. We meet after many conversations.
Looks lovely in the pictures. Larger in real life but no real biggie.

Having a great time - good conversation - feeling relaxed etc.

Casually she says ' I still sleep with my ex husband from time to time'.

Check please ....
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 150
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Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/27/2009 8:21:15 PM
Now that's REALLY low class!
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 151
Sure-Fire First-Date Killers
Posted: 11/28/2009 12:38:33 AM
with all the funny/bad stories i'm still optimistic that there are other "fairly normal" people to be met, we all tell the silly/bad stories but there are some nice ones that don't get told but i guess that's another whole thread *haha* :)
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