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Joined: 6/19/2008
Msg: 3
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Dead Fish F*ckPage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Wow, it's only been two weeks. Give her a break. She's probably a little shy and hesitant because she doesn't know you very well and doesn't know what you like. Try telling her what you like, ask her to touch you or something. (But don't be demanding or critical.)
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 5
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:12:27 AM

I'm seeing a very hot girl, but after the first few times of sex, it's getting a little old.

Last time I actually had a concern about failure to launch...the problem is, as hot as she is, she doesn't like to show off her body, pose, etc. or even do much in the way of caressing, oral, etc.

Basically she just lays there and waits for me to remove her clothes, kiss her and start having sex. She'll explore other positions, etc. once we've gotten things going, but it's basically a one-way street as far as initiating, etc. and I'm actually finding myself getting bored with things, as attractive as she is.

Maybe the problem is that you are not as "hot" as you think you are. There's more to being a good lover than just being good looking. You seem to think that she ought to explode with passion and go wild just because it's you. Great sex doesn't begin physically and you seem to be stuck on that.

Generally speaking, women require lots of emotional stimulation before they are ready for the physical connection. Foreplay doesn't start in the bedroom and it is more important to a womans mental state than yours or mine. You, as her lover, are keeper of the key to her emotional state before, during and after sex. She must feel an emotional connection to you and she must feel safe enough to be herself. Most importantly she must feel that she is more than just another piece of ass for her to truly open up to you. She's not giving to you because you've given her nothing yet.

I'd bet that she has never had a man do anything but **** her "because she's so hot looking" and she probably doesn't even know there is anything beyond that. She hasn't been"awakened" yet or she'd have kicked your sorry ass to the curb after the first time you failed her.

I'd suggest that if you really like her, lay off the sex for a while and court her instead. You might have heard of it, that old fashioned thing that men used to do when they cared for a woman and had to earn her. Maybe your grandfather might have mentioned it once. Give her a reason to think that she means more to you than just another ****. Give her a reason to trust you. Give her a reason to want you. Give her a reason to want to give to you. Then treat her with kid gloves and give her all the time she needs to bloom. The good gardener never rushes the blossom.
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:30:58 AM
How old is she? The older I get the more comfortable I am with my body. First few times with someone new, I'm not about to stand there with all the lights blazing and strip down to my skin. I'm far from a dead fish f*ck, but I'm a wee tiny bit self-concious about my body.

Honestly.. you've only been seeing her 2 wks. Hell.. it takes me longer then that!! So talk to her about it, and if you can't, then you need to move on 'cause she isn't going to change.
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 16
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:34:53 PM
Personally, the "dead fish" thing is never a problem for me.
I would put her pleasure before my own.
I also think you should try extended foreplay.
a few soft, gentle kisses then a lot of deep, wet, probing, breath-stealing kisses. . .work on th nape of her neck and throat too.
Work her body with touches and caresses. . .and not just the obvious spots. Maybe if you can get her interested early on she will be more active.
Make the whole undressing thing into a little game. . .undress each other. . .
Make sure she really WANTS you and even then--no actual intercourse yet!
Kiss and touch her naked body all over. . .go down on her until she washes your face with her desire. . .then kis your way back up once she cannot stand cumming all over your face any more and THEN make sure she really wants you. . .even let HER put you inside her.
That is just my suggestion.
Maybe there just isn't enough foreplay . . .
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 18
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/22/2008 2:59:51 PM
Print these points out, hand it to her, then ask her what she thinks.......
Joined: 2/29/2008
Msg: 19
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:12:57 PM
Communication, communication, communication...she can't change what she doesn't know is wrong. It could be that you aren't doing it for her; maybe she doesn't know any better; maybe a lot of things; you HAVE to TALK to her; it's the only way. Although, I think I'd work on my opening line if I were you. Ask her what turns her on, what her fantasies are, what she likes or would like to do, etc. also ask what her buzz kills are, what turns her off etc. Good luck.
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 20
Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:18:03 PM
Funny, there are women AND men that are shy, reserved or just not sexually... open.

Just because you like someone and think they are hot, its certainly NO guarantee. It can help though of course. But as a few people have mentioned, hot doesn't equal sexy.
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 21
Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:19:36 PM
Geez, you seem to think your only two choices are to dump her or to cruely criticize her. There is a happy medium here if you're not to lazy to put in a little effort...

Communicate maybe? Use a little positive reinforcement?
You can let her know what you'd like her to do with you without being critical of her performance.

If you can't say "God, I'd really love it if you'd __________ " then you're probably not alll that great in bed yourself, OP ;)

Great sex isn't about technique, it's about communication.

Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 22
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/22/2008 8:21:28 PM

find an ugly confidant girl and start having hot sex...

Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 26
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 10/23/2008 7:17:52 AM
......Brought in front of a judge..
.."You have been brought to court for the henous crime of making love to a corpse...."
......"What do you have to say in your defence......? "
"But your honor........I thought she was British....! "
Joined: 5/28/2008
Msg: 29
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 1/27/2009 11:55:31 AM
Maybe she just hasn't experimented that much with sex. Perhaps you could be the "teacher" and she the "student". Tell her what kind of things you like. Sex has to be a give and take situation. She needs to start doing a little giving. If the relationship outside the bedroom is good, then there's no reason you can't work on the relationship in the bedroom.
Joined: 1/17/2009
Msg: 31
Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 1/28/2009 10:54:55 AM

I'm seeing a very hot girl, but after the first few times of sex, it's getting a little old.

Last time I actually had a concern about failure to launch...the problem is, as hot as she is, she doesn't like to show off her body, pose, etc. or even do much in the way of caressing, oral, etc.

a common misconception maybe?

so many people assume that because someone looks good, or sexy

they must be extremely hot having sex ?

not much correlation IMO..some good times can be had with the uglier amongst us..

in fact too often the gorgeous princess maybe think she has to make no effort..since she's already pretty..WTF more do you expect?
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 32
Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 1/28/2009 2:03:08 PM
Been there done that, didn't like the fish. This is the problem I have found out with your typical 10 girl. They have had guys always do everything for them, so they are used to just sit there and be a cold fish, and if you do not initiate, are in control they don't do anything. So like you, I got sick and tired of that behavior and ended up terminating these relationships.

Now, there was something that along the way I also leaned. And that is, since they expect you to be in control, and initiate always. Take advantage of it and push it a little further out there.

Let me give you an example. Call her on the phone when you are both in the same place. Speak to her with an accent and go into character. Ask for her roommate that clearly does not exists. Preferably a girl from Sweden, like Helga, or from Spain, Maria or from whatever place you may think exotic. See if she goes on character. If she doesn't, then forget about this woman, she is going to become even more boring in the future. If she goes on character. Have practically phone sex. Then tell her you have to go because your girl just arrived and hang up, and everything you imagine, now do for real.

Get even more adventurous and tell her to meet you some place and then do it in the parking lot in the car, or on the hood of your car, or outside somewhere. Don't ask her if she would like to do it there. Tell her. If she doesn't want to do it she will veto, and that is okay.

So, take initiative, take control, you will be surprised to what they say yes.
 Sinbad Phil
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 34
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Dead Fish F*ck
Posted: 1/29/2009 6:25:28 AM
Oh, poor baby, having regular nookie with hot looking partners and it still isn't good enough! I have never experienced this 'dead fish' thing myself. Luckily I find that even the most quiet, inexperienced, shy woman will be certain to become a lot more lively and inventive in the sack after you have treated her several orgasms of a quality she has never experienced before. To all the 'hot' women of PoF, how many of you can lie still and be boring if the earth keeps moving?

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