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 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 2
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
First off.. happy birthday!!

Secondly.. I can see how it might be a little bit of an adjustment when you are first in a relationship with someone new. However.. it might not be as bad or as bleak as you are making it out to be. I'm confused as to whether their *slowness* was due to health or age related issues.

I've not had issues like this, partially because.. well.. I'm a wee bit younger then you, and most of the men I've been with have been similar in age (2 were 4-5 yrs older, the rest have been slightly younger). The similarity that I've had is that my sex drive has always been higher then any of the men I've been involved with. In the beginning of each of my LTRs they've been able to keep up with my demands (hehehe.. ), but over time it fades down to far less then I'd like.

One way around that is to seek *slightly* younger men. You are an attractive woman, I'm sure you wouldn't have any problems snagging a younger stud muffin to entertain yourself with!!
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 7
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/24/2008 9:58:06 PM

they talk a big story but few can produce.


This isn't limited to older gentlemen I'm afraid. I don't have any answers for you.. as you said, you've done the research, you know the numbers. You just need to find the other 55% that doesn't have ED. The 75% of the male population that doesn't know what to do.. well.. I'm sure half of them are still trainable if you've got the energy to do it.


tbm55, you are absolutely correct! WAAAAAAAAY too many overweight people, period, not just men. But that has nothing to do with a man's ability to get it 'up' in the first place.


I think he meant her internal size.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 9
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:14:39 PM
Shug, happy Birthday...

Perhaps if that is the regular you have been running across then perhaps since you don't look a day over 50, you might date down 10 yrs. They may still be able to get the pony going just fine, and maybe even if you are lucky they haven't discovered the ease of using the blue or pink pill.

Seems like a lot of hyperbole by the pharmaceutical company, that gets men in their 40's on to such delightful drugs, at 10 bucks a pop...

I will admit I have met 47 and 48 yrs that wish they had the same abilities as they had when they were young. These guys weren't really all that over weight, perhaps just lazy, or had plug arteries from to many years on a fast food track....

Good luck
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 10
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/24/2008 10:27:08 PM
are we talking about "human beings" here? which is worse, women who can fake it or men who cannot? my guess is those who choose to debate this issue are not looking for "relationships". therefore, i suggest you put a "milfer wanted" sign on top of your profile. believe me, they will all come running and are clearly a dime a dozen.

as to ED, there are many ways to deal with it, one of which is to NOT berate the man for having it. similarly, it's like a man telling a woman to "hurry up" or not liking the fact that her "boobs" don't look like the porn star silicone version!

ain't neither gonna happen. but if there is true partnership and both people care, they will figure out a way. actually women make out as a man gets older, cause he ain't in such a hurry!

for sexuality and sensuality to happen, we need to also include the grey matter and the heart. well, that's just my opinion. no doubt, i'll land in the minority one more time.
 OldFolkie
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 12
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/24/2008 11:27:48 PM
No, Serenity, you are not in the minority here. Sensuality is all about what is happening in the heart and soul for a lot of us. Yes, OP, there are a lot of us older guys that have problems. It's not usually loss of libido or lack of interest, it's health problems and the side effects of the meds we take for them. That just plain sucks and it's something most men would far rather deny than try to deal with. But as Serenity said, if you care, if there's some real substance to a relationship, a couple WILL figure out a way. None of us, male or female, are the sexual ideals we once thought we were. Is that the end and do we just give up and curl up in the front porch rocking chair and whine? No, that doesn't have to happen. Love Among The Ruins can still happen, with patience, affection and sometimes a sense of humor.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 13
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 1:38:24 AM
HaPpY BiRtHdAy!!

Hmmm....try younger men?

How many actually are sexually dysfunctional, versus how many admit such?

My mom married one who did not admit such....**sigh**
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 14
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 4:05:55 AM
tbm55, you seem to be screaming for attention with you decidedly flame back at the OP, and women general.

Did you miss the very informative, and completely laugh a persons arse of about Vaginal rejuvination? If not you should, it is extremely funny, and NO WOMEN got offended that a man would write such a thread, nor did we feel our womanhood was getting bashed in the least.

I would think it is only a bashing, if you are one of many that is having an issue with your plumbing working. Other wise you may take the thread for what it is worth, which is a general question on what's up with guys that say they want nonstop sex, but can't put it out?

And if you must know, yes we women are MORE THAN AWARE, that 60% of all women are unable to achieve orgasm, with a male counterpart, and that is because of the type of stimulation we need. THen there is the factor that some women, probably a way larger # then you'd guess, have been sexually abused. As well there are guys who think one lick and stick work for all women... Not true in the least.

The really sad part about all this, is that there is a DRUG designed for women to achieve orgasms easier, and the electrode surgery that can help a woman achieve them is out of most womens budget.

They are slowly coming up with new ideas as to how to "tighten" things up, but then again since it is a surgery, there could well be more problems for some women, than any thing that is actually improved.

Sexuality, and one that is really very satisfying happens generally between to people who absolutely love and respect each other; thus the major disappointment of casual sex.

I hope you have felt the love here, and acknowledgment that you had to bash the female gender, simply because one woman has not been having much sexual satisfaction in her age bracket, and is wondering why.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 18
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:17:45 AM

for sexuality and sensuality to happen, we need to also include the grey matter and the heart. well, that's just my opinion. no doubt, i'll land in the minority one more time.


Serenity, you are DEFINITELY NOT alone in this thinking.

TBM55 I think you are totally taking what LDYnBLK was saying. She's not bashing men for having issues, I think she's fairly understanding about the limitations we all develop as we get older. What she's upset about is the fact that these four men were not forthcoming with regards to their abilities. I personally like to play poker with all the cards face up on the table, that way I know what's going on and can adjust my thought process accordingly and deal with everything in a more prepared way.


We are expected to perform or be a wuss, but there is always the one you muppy dive on for hours and she still cant get off. I mean lock jaw.


Now.. not to turn this into a flame war... the man I was with last fall went down on me, probably less then 15 min and cried off doing more 'cause he was "getting tired". Interestingly enough I'm not disfunctional at all. I have no problem orgasming from oral. This man wasn't doing what I needed in order to get off. So if you have a problem getting your woman off, perhaps it's not her.. ??? My FB could get me off in under 5 min because he knows what works.

The only thing I expect from my partner is respect, trust, good communication abilities and the desire to want to learn about each other and doing what it takes to make them happy. I don't expect him to perform 100% of the time, but I do expect 100% from him when he does. I'm not perfect, don't claim to be. I'm human and I know and accept my limitations. I tell new partners that sometimes it can take me a while to orgasm, there's a huge learning curve with each new partner. I openly communicate that with them because I don't want them thinking I'm broken or their skills are not up to par. That's the point of the thread, not men bashing.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 25
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 6:46:06 AM
^^^Yep...kitties rock! ;)

Look...LIB clearly states she is not mocking or flaming men who have genuine sexual dysfunctions. She spoke with these fellows...and as such happens, the subject of sex came up. IT WAS STATED THAT THEY LOVE AND WANT FREQUENT SEX.

THAT's the issue. Stating such as if it is a part of your life and stating such because you sure would HOPE for such, are two different items. At that age, it would have been best for dude to say, "I enjoy sex and would LIKE for it to be frequent...but I cannot always perform due to (insert reason here).

Different strokes, for different folks, people. While YOU may prefer to find a partner that you can "just grow old with"...others who are still sexual, prefer a COMPATIBLE partner who they can still enjoy sexual intimacy and activities with.

It is really sad...and while I am only 42 and do not date much older of men then myself....I have SEEN the results of such with my mother. She met her now-husband 14 years ago. They were intimate, but without penetration...because HE preferred marriage before such. Once they were married, ALL of the intimacy stopped. He blames it on everything but the real issues...sexual dysfunction. He even blames it on my mother....who is an extremely attractive 63 years old. I empathize with someone who is dealing with ED or SD, but sheesh! Does not mean you get a "get outta jail free card" in honesty!
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 28
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:23:58 AM
Aries...I hope you do not mind my stating such...but you are absolutely stunning! :)

Sheesh Cuban...HOW is the OP belittling? Guys need to stop taking this personally...and realize that it was a valid, ADULT topic. Things like this are discussed on Dr. Phil and Oprah, for petes sake...not Jerry Springer! LOL
~~~~~~~~~~~
EDIT TO ADD TO GANGSTERS POST BELOW and to meet the "quality issues!!" LOL
LOL...not the point, Gangster! Was a comparison issue...thus why the LOL after it.

Its an adult topic...one that SHOULD be able to be broached without people getting defensive.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 35
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 11:59:30 AM
ah, domo arigato, out of the mouth of babes.

i have no doubt you will lead a quality life and find a good relationship that will last into the elder years that we are all inevitably having to deal with. just please, make sure you apply the same standards to the younger women in your life, as well as making sure they appreciate you for who "you" are. you can see on this thread how bitterness and bad experiences play out and reek havoc on our souls.

i know very few people your age, let alone mine, who know about bladder control. i only recently was apprised by a young woman who had 4 babies in her teens and was going for surgery that this was a problem in her 30's. then i was told about it by an older woman who thought it was hopeless, so i referred her to my younger contact so that she too could investigate the benefit.

there are so many things happening to our bodies and we look at the mirror and say "who is that?"! for many, it's a shock when the realization finally hits. i used to get out of the shower and let my hair dry on the way to work. now, it's an entire "operation" to just look "normal". i think that many of us look to the potential partner as a means to make us feel better by ourselves. then, many of us, have had tough lives with our SO's and see that time is running out and we want to cash in quick. then again, it seems everything is running out--from our bodies to the economy. if we let it, it can become despairing. some get sad and others get angry. it's almost like the stages of death, before we get to acceptance and find a way to rebirth our new selves.

i found your later post OP to "sound" a bit more senstitive. only the more confident men can discuss this more openly. there is also a limitation in writing that you are faced with personally. men as a whole, are able to write, way less than women.

there are many books and many tv shows (public television) on the topic of ED. i wish there were as many on the topic for younger women and what they have to endure. for some it's a performance issue and for others, they lose interest altogether, but are nevertheless lonely. i assume they are assuring you that they "can", to prove they will do their best and will not be selfish--just like women have done for their men over the years--w/o proper satisfaction and lots of "faking". how many have attempted "communication" and had their needs fall to the wayside or had to instead deal with fragile egos, instead of having their needs addressed? raise hands!

it will be a long search for you, as well as the rest of us. even the younger men and women with "all intact" are not getting immediate gratification in finding their "love". you can purchase a plastic sex device, you can see a sex movie, but there is yet to be a patent on "plastic love". for me, the best mixing and matching of all the different components, age adjusted, is going to have to do. i've been through "disablity" with my lymes disease and now here i am aging away with the rest of us. in many ways the former prepared me for the latter. it took a few years to know "who" i was, aside from my work. i want someone to know and care about who i am and vice versa. i figure that somewhere out there is my match and i think he will find me. if ED is his issue and all the rest is intact and he does have "desire", then from what i've heard from others, we will figure it all out. openly is not always an option on the forums or email. it takes time, as scott peck once enunciated in "the road less travelled".

ps i have never heard of men "blaming" women for their ED. if that is the case, then this topic takes on another light. i think maybe people should wait longer before hopping into the sac and discuss such issues beforehand. however, not with total strangers via email. face to face and after knowing each other a bit more and liking the rest of the person. at least, you will have a friend and at best, will exert joint creativity!
 Fuzzymutt
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 48
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 8:20:23 PM
It could be worse. I don't suffer from the dreaded E.D., but my ex put a curse on me with a bit of poignant philosophy as we lay in each other's arms one night. She said it was impossible to make love to someone you weren't in love with. Being male, I put it out of mind as rubbish. You see, like most men, I confused sex with love making. The two are totally different animals. It is possible to have sex with someone you don't love; true, but without that spiritual connection love brings to a relationship, making love is impossible. Sex has become a rather hollow and meaningless act for me now. Unless I really connect with a woman, I don't even bother trying to be intimate.
 TheDon2008
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 51
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/25/2008 10:36:54 PM
not me obv.....
 tghoeb
Joined: 10/12/2007
Msg: 54
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 6:24:02 AM
I am 54 weight 220 and am 5'11 in height. Not obese by any sense of the word. I take blood pressure medicine and vitorin for cholesterol. I take longer readying my equiptment to sexually indulge. And when I am ready it is met with a semi to nearly non existent friction factor. Rather then offend, or be offended, I divert my gift for gab to other uses. I am not sure how this is take by my partner, but when i hear words that a sailor won't use I think it's well spent energy. Oral stimulation is more pinpointed for the lady and when she reaches her acme, I also feel gratified. Phew, time for a cigarette. And LDYNBLK congrates on your special day. Another year to make your vintage even refined.
 Diadora
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 57
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:26:58 AM
Two points I would like to insert into this thread:
1- A recent Swedish study points out that frequent masturbation by men in their 40's and 50's tends to lessen the possibility of ED when they are in their 60's. This was a cohort study of 2200 men. Seems if men stop self stimulating they lose the ability to achive and maintain an erection. Appears that sex does begin in the mind of the beholder. A person has to be sexually engaged with themselves first before they can be ready for a partner.

2- I lived through two ltr where sex was not center stage. I realized that I needed that level of physical intimacy. Without it something goes domant in me and life is just not as vivid and satisfying. I do not think I could survive another of these 'shadow" relationships. I think this is something I will need to get clear with any possible long term partner.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 59
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 7:55:15 PM

not one of them had the b*lls to tell me up front. However, while spending time getting to know them, thru IMs and Messenger they made it quite clear sex was very important to them and it would make a huge difference in whether WE would be compatible or not. How could these men make such statements and base a relationship on performace when they, themselves, had severe ED? I wanted to know if other women have been faced with these same circumstances and how did they handle it?


I have to admit, that having NEVER dated a woman, I don't know if women are any more up front with men, when it comes to sex either. It is a very touchy subject for either sex, unless of course you are like me, and can talk about anything under the sun, and not have it phase you.

I have had a few men admit to having sexual dysfunction, and I know that it was because I am extremely easy to talk to. However I also know that men probably have a MUCH harder time telling someone that their wiener no longer salutes like it used to, simply because it gives the sense of NOT being man enough.

Remember, people lie about all sorts of things, this isn't much different than threads that ask WHY do people put pics up, of themself 5+ years ago, and don't look anything like that now?

I don't know if it is because people flat out lie, OR are in some sort of denial about themself. No matter what, you will meet people that are honest to a fault (I am raising my hand) or people who would like to think that they will bedazzle you so much, that you won't notice things that are less than perfect.

In your conversation I am sure they must have gotten the impression that YOU were very much into sex, and probably figured that they wouldn't be given a chance if they stated their were issues down South. This can also be compounded by the NERVOUS factor that can take the plump out these poor guys member, and meds or not, they just are too nervous to get Willey to make a proper stand.

Sorry about the bashers... It comes with the territory, especially when it hits a very sensitive nerve....

As I stated before some people are plain lazy, and would rather booze it up, eat it up, or what ever, and then hope for the best, when it comes to sex.

I would say try not to take their bad behavior to personal, because humans can suffer from having an ego that makes it hard for them to be honest with themself; which in turn makes it hard for them to be honest with other...
 mermanus
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 61
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/26/2008 9:14:22 PM
I got diagnosed with diabetes II some years back. Before that I'd been gaining weight pretty rapidly and noticed that my libido was way off. I wasn't gaga over over sex with the girl I was seeing like I usually was and my erections were substandard. In fact, when I did get it up, I had trouble keeping it up long enough to get the condom on. Actually lost that girlfriend over it. It was my urologist who discovered that my testosterone was low partly due to being overweight and partly due to the meds I was taking for diabetes. He gave me a cream which raises the T levels in men. It even made me lose alot of weight and gave me more energy. Doc also gave me Levitra which works very well the few times I've used it. The cream actually gave me back most of my desire, but I keep the levitra in the cabinet for emergencies.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 63
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How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/27/2008 2:27:52 PM
Oh, brother-guess what ? Med's can get in the way, kids can get in the way, throw someone some slack and you'l be amazed at what happens!!
 33312
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 65
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 9/29/2008 9:48:22 PM
START THE CLOCK,NOW LOL

I DON'T THINK SO,ALWAYS READY LIKE A RACE HORSE
 kaptnken
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 71
How Many Men Will Admit to Being Sexually Dysfunctional?
Posted: 12/7/2008 7:06:00 PM
OK, I admit it..."Most" of us Old Farts (I'm 58) have "ED" from time to time. IT was kind of funny (Boo HoooOOOoooo...) when things started going South (Pun Intended!) so I did what all you ladies are doing to figure us guys out. (Have you looked in the mirror, btw?) Here's what I found and it makes TOTAL sense to me. First, I agree...Being healthy HELPS....immensely! Our diets, processed foods, clogged arteries (can anyone guess where the tiniest veins in a man's body are...Or, vagina or clitoris???) weight gains and high blood pressure all contribute to ED...Duh! Who doesn't know that? I have a friend who is a walking hard-on but he is also a tri-athlete, has about 4-5% body fat, eats 'gruel' and low fat, low processed, high protein foods, etc. He's 58 and still "growing" strong...Yes, pun intended again!

OK, back to what I found so this is the answer and all is good.

Think! Let's pretend it is 1000 years ago. What was the average life expectancy of a man in those days...Too long ago??? OK, let's do 100 years ago, about 1900, let's say...Before McDonald's, Burger King and especially the finely processed foods we call FLOUR, White bread, dinner rolls etc, and all the rest...Before Wonder Bread too! OK, physiologically, in the true realm of things, our bodies have not "advanced" too much in 1000 years! That's not that long ago, if you think about it. We have not yet evolved that far "Physically." Yes, we've extended life expectancies another 20-30 years from even 100 years ago, with modern medicine, etc...But, in "Mother Nature's" eyes, we're all basically the same! Women are fertile into their 40's and 50's and then go through the dreaded menopause, etc. Men are fertile too. 500-100 years ago, however, most men were DEAD by the time they were in their 30's and 40's. The "Mating Game" was for the YOUNG MEN in the tribe, or the 15-30ish year olds and the rest were pretty much put out to pasture, or, well.........DEAD! Of course, the 15 year olds got the crap beat out of them walking around with instant hard-ons from the more dominant 20 something year olds, and up, Alpha Males, just like lions in a pride...Or Elk! Catching on??? So, the 40-50 year olds, if there were any left in the "tribe," were too weak to fight even the 15-20 year olds, but so what...The ran out of Viagra so were out of the running anyway, and probably on their way to their death beds anyway. So, the fertile ones ruled, and the women stayed "fertile" so the tribe grew and grew until they themselves were ready for pasture in their 40's and early 50's. Menopause strikes again. And, although women lived longer than men, in those days, by the time they were in their 40's, trust me, they were pretty used up by poor diet, working their ever loving asses off (Not at the gym, mind you!) birthing 2,3,10 kids, and of course , washing the dishes, laundry, waxing the pick-up truck and painting the cave too! It is kind of called Evolution, I'm thinking and it makes sense to me. We're NOT SUPPOSED to be able to FU*K (procreate) 24/7 after a certain age and all men are not created equally (My friend really pisses me off sometimes, talking about all his adventures...And, the real pissy part of it all, is I know it is true..........For HIM! **stard! lol OK...I'm jealous) Anyway, that's why boys and men are in their prime when they're, say, 17 to about 40ish...I was quite "active" 'til I was about 45. You know, like the Energizer Bunny. Because of SEVERAL physical compromises (see my dang profile...I'm a fat SOB!!! But, I'm cute!!! lol) causing an early retirement and SSDI, my sex drive #1: Went to shit. #2: I hurt everywhere so I wasn't interested. I went through that magic "bubble" where, if you're actively having sex, hard-ons and all, and you continue to use it OFTEN, then you "may" still have it in you...Or her, w/e...BUT, if you Don't Use It OFTEN during a period of time in your mid-40's and early 50's, you'll no doubt LOSE IT, just about forever. I'm one of those who doesn't forget all the wonderful women (2-3 he he heeeeee) I was with prior to RIGHT NOW! The one's who taught me well! Yes, TAUGHT ME what they liked and needed in a SEXUAL Act. One thing they taught me was to be more intimate and not so, Cave Man Like!" OK, occasionally they like that, but as a "rule" women are a bit tenderer (Oh man, except Dian...errrrrr, uhhhh...Never mind!!!) Now, I still get a "semi." Yes, it is discouraging, sometimes a bit embarrassing, frustrating, yes yes yes...All that. BUT, I've been lucky to find a "couple" of wonderful women more lately who like me for ME, like how "skilled" I am when we're intimate, and seem to enjoy my "[u]Half[/u] Hearted" efforts at a Rock Hard, 15-48 year old something called an ERECTION! Yes, I make up for it with fingers, tongue, toes, ELECTRICITY, and more. Massages are real nice for her, with a HAPPY ENDING! Me too! OK, my point is we're not as evolved as much as we think we are. Yes, Viagra and others have helped IMMENSELY! (Women like that word...Immense! "It's so IMMENCE!" OK, Sorry!) But we're really physically about 1000 years old and dong what Mother Nature intended. We old farts leave the FUC*ING to the young studs because we're not supposed to be even interested in it that much...I am...But many aren't. A good friend once told me that "I just don't care anymore..." as he was being perfectly honest with me. That was about 6-7 years ago and he is 2-3 years older than me. He married my old girlfriend of about 3 years and had been married to her for about 4-5 years when we had this discussion...She and I had dated when we were in out mid-40's. OMG, I'm thinking...How can he NOT be interested??? This woman was cute, sexy, WILLING to try anything and always ready in ANY situation. A perfect woman, I'm sad to say! lol Problem was, Pete was Petered out, old enough, in good shape except for one thing. Mother Nature and his body clock was ticking on by leaving him a bit by the wayside. I felt for her, but of course never mentioned a thing. I mean...I was getting there too!

I’ve said enough and probably waaaaaaaaaay too much!!!
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