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 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 12
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Ice pick.
Works great!


Poke it in an eye every time you think of him.
Once you're blind in both eyes.

Then find him (with the aid of seeing eye cat)
and poke him in HIS eyes with ice pick.

Possibly once he's blind and needy he'll come back and really see the real you that loved him better than any one else ever could?

Sorry. Mocking a serious subject.
I had a lover 9 years ago.
The communicating never ended, letters daily.
I have over 8,000 in the last 8 years.

It is only this year, that I have begun the long and painful process of severing the thoughts of him.

And it's not easy.
It's painful and hard, and not coming naturally.

My gut tells me we are meant to be with each other.
My logical mind tells me he kept me with him far too long and now it is time I go on alone.

I do contemplate ice picks from time to time.
Because he rarely leaves my thoughts and has yet to leave my dreams.
I begin to wonder if he will be with me in one manner or another always.
I dislike the idea, while believing it may be true.

I pray not.
 geoffrey116
Joined: 10/11/2008
Msg: 26
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/20/2008 12:13:00 PM
What I have found is that I talk to myself in a proper conversation with her. LOl. I aint a crackpot but I talk to her and tell her allsorts. It is like she is there but not there if you know what I mean.

Obviously I do this when nobody is looking. lol

It does pass the time and I dont feel so bad either.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 27
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 10/20/2008 1:07:53 PM
This is a very difficult thing to do, especially if someone makes a huge impression on our life; our feelings and what have you. It almost reminds me of a death...when you want so bad to talk to someone and they just are not there for you. Time is the only healing thing I have found. And sometimes even time, is not enough. :(
 kenda2010
Joined: 10/2/2008
Msg: 35
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:14:37 PM
One word: WHISKEY.
 1trueknight
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 36
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 2:20:30 AM
O.k.

Some would say that it depends on what side or you on.. But that's not true. If you are a loving person and you had set your sights on loving them but they left you down or let you down or whatever. You have no other way but to just grunt and bare it. No matter what you are man or women. If you've been dumped then it hurts like hell and the only thing that one can do is let time take it away from you.

And time will be in no hurry to do this so don't try and help it. Time doesn't need any help from you or I. It will move as slow and fast as it wishes. It seems like it likes to hurt you along with your tormentors. But let me tell you its not. Time is just on times side and no one elses.

But if you needs some help with the process heres some ideas.

1) If you've loved someone and that didn't love you inspite of what they said stop anylizing it. You probably weren't in the wrong. So just sit down where ever you are and let it out. Get it out of your system. Try and take peace in knowing that what goes around comes around but only allot worse.

2) Next look at yourself in the mirror and just say that it wasn't my fault and say it like you mean it. Because you do mean it. These little things will help the pain to sit better in your heart so that over time you may let go of correctly.

3) Treat yourself right. I mean the money that you were spending on them take it and don't use it for bills or anything like that. Instead use it for yourself. Treat yourself to a movie or take yourself out to eat or something like that. Don't go with a friend just go by yourself. Becuase you may not be ready be around others just yet..

4) Then try and carry on the best way that you can. Go to work and hang out with friends shop with buddys or what ever. But if your like me, a loner, then just go about your normal routine but happier.

5) Don't go back! Is something that allot of people say. But as for me I say only you know if the person will hurt you again. In other words "Learn to see people for who they really are and not who we want them to be." If your able to do that then you can makt a good decison.

Follow these steps and you should be ok....
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 37
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:49:49 AM
Recently felt I was in love with a POF fella, had a really hard and painful time of it at first, the sudden loss of "us" and how I was feeling..which was joyous the emptiness felt more pronounced than before...

But then I realized I wasn't missing who he was in reality.
Who he was in reality was someone unable to be real, someone not able to communicate honestly and openly, someone who found it easier to lie or hide, and not be genuine.

Who I was missing? Was the man I had believed he was - but that wasn't real. He wasn't that guy.

Once I realized I was missing and aching for an "imaginary friend" I also realized how many moments of my life I was wasting on "no one". Harsh? Maybe. But I think it was pretty true and very accurate.

I'm logical enough that to spend time wasting someone that wasn't real? Too foolish for me to tolerate or allow inside myself.

It made moving on, so much easier.

My suggestion? Stop allowing yourself to hurt over the romance and the fantasy. Eventually the good things will be good - but for now? To end the obsession...? Look at the reality. Look at what the facts and the truth are, instead of recalling the romance and the love.

The truth can be a sharp and brutal thing that focuses you with great and intense clarity - if you allow it to.

But everything in life is a choice.
It's your decision and within you to choose what you feel.
 ryansmsk
Joined: 11/4/2008
Msg: 38
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:54:24 PM
well it is very tough if you actually liked the person on a deep level , is some people i have meet over the years that i have forgot about quickly and others that sort of stay in my thoughs even though they are gone for the time being . it can be hard to get someone out of your mind entirely as distrations only work for so long , over time things will get better and eventually we move on to someone else .
 Sunny*1
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 44
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/27/2008 6:21:20 AM
Good thought; ones that don't work out where there to teach us lessons. Wishing all of us that are currently in the Heart Break Hotel a speedy check out
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 49
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 11/28/2008 10:04:49 PM
I wish that I had no feelings. Life would be easier that way. I get really ill when going through emotional turmoil. Loose lots of weight, can't sleep, crying, shaking, major depression. The only thing I know who someone who cares, to remove the pain, or at least make it bearable, is eat only healthy food, sleep at least 8 hours a day, increase vitamin intake, go to therapy and love the people that actually do love you. I put my focus into my kids. My daughter who is two will say to me when she sees me crying "mommy~you allright?". That is why I take gratitude in my blessings and the good things in my life.
 myrealityis
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 56
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:36:39 AM
3 steps,

1. Beer + friends

2. Gym + work

3. Time + new love interests

P.S. During step one it is important that you have friends that will not allow you to dial drunk!
 Solomon_Grundy
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 57
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:38:58 AM
It's not proper to behead yourself, I suggest drinking heavily.
 Solomon_Grundy
Joined: 10/28/2008
Msg: 58
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/3/2008 1:40:50 AM
Then call a Russian escort. Works for me.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 67
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/8/2008 4:22:44 PM

The best way of all though is to find someone else,
Serial manogomists.. 6 months here, 1 month with that one, 4 months with the next one, 2 years with this one... When you "find someone else before you've gotten the last one out of you're system.. you're destined to always be hurting (either yourself, or someone else).. simply because you keep making another person your personal band aid instead of learning the lessons that need to be learned to keep you and your relationship happy. Heal first.. be brave and work through your turmoil alone .. forgive yourself and your ex.. Then look for a new partner with a nicely cleaned slate.

It's difficult I know, only time and keeping one's self busy help. But how can you really give of yourself to someone new when somebody else has your mind and your heart still.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 79
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/13/2008 10:53:07 AM

The best solution to get one love out of your head, is to find someone else to love...
msg #79 would be worthwhile reading. It really does make a lot of sense. How can you say this:

There are two people like this for me. One is from a LTR that ended 4 years ago, and the other, someone who I was falling in love with, that could actually make me forget the first one.
Obviously "the best solution" (your words) aren't working else ex #2 would have gotten ex #1 out of your head and you would have no reason to even mention. Now you have two floating around in there.. how many are you going to add?
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 82
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/13/2008 6:06:41 PM
Ah, yes, the battle of mind over heart - when your head KNOWS your heart is crazy, stupid, insane for caring for that someone who keeps breaking your heart. But as to the obsessive thoughts, gawd, wish I had an answer. I've tried just about everything from Native American sage cleansing, to prayer to the saint who is said to have cast the devil into Hell to, well, you name it, I've tried it. Unfortunately, this was my first love and will be my last I fear. Do try to keep busy with lots of conversation with others, I find that is the only time he is not prancing around in my head and heart. But he's been there for more than forty years, just not as bad as now since I was with him for a while again. As to the judgmental one who claims we who are flawed should not be on here, my goodness, to be so perfect, WOW, I'm impressed - Not!
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 85
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/14/2008 9:54:21 AM
Mostly for big - your restrictions won't let me message you- and for everyone else who keeps letting the abusive ones back into your life. You have got to stop letting her/him back in. Some of us have done the same thing - with me it started after 30 years of no contact with an apology from him. And like all those years ago, I chased him until he caught me. We supposedly tried getting back together (make that I tried) and then he went back to the lifestyle he swore he was tired of living. I had said no more a long, long time ago, but the apology was totally out of character for him, so I "thought" I saw a changed person. His only changes are superficial - he is still a user, a sadist who gets pleasure from hurting others and that is what you are dealing with. The only way to get at least some peace and perspective is to say NO, you are not being allowed back into my life. S/he knows what she is doing to you and s/he is enjoying it, people like my ex and yours are sadistic and they have no conscience and enjoy hurting others - especially the ones that love them. I am in pain from my last experience, but it is that - the last experience with him- never, ever again! We are worth so much more than the nothingness and pain s/he has to offer. And I have no explanation at all as to why love for someone so not worth it continues for a lifetime, but it can - that doesn't mean you have to let that person keep abusing your love, you need to love yourself more than you love them and some of us will be lucky and find the one who will love us in return for who we are...I do agree that counseling is an option to help us find out why we allow ourselves to be abused.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 102
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 12/31/2008 6:44:11 PM
Someone told me to think this thought: "he is not looking for compassion and love, he is looking for a victim and you chose not to be his victim." I find this very empowering when I think it, say it (substituting I for you, of course) It may not apply to all ppl who are hurting so badly, but it does apply to many who get trashed by a manipulator...Happy New Year and good luck moving on and beyond the pain. Stay busy as you can and absolutely do not contact him/her - that just gives them power over you again and sets you back on any progress you have made. And good to see you again Lilwmn
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 106
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:28:02 AM
Msg 110, WHY are you still living together? Even if its economics, there are other ppl to room with, for heavens sake, get her out of your environment...that is just rubbing salt into the wound imo.
 tam879
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 107
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/2/2009 10:20:30 PM
I am in the same boat as you. It`s been over a year since my breakup from my ex g/f. She broke up with me. I have thinking of going to her home but I keep fighting those thoughts off. I only seem to lose those thoughts when I`m with other people. I go home and then the thought of my ex comes back to me. I get angry at myself for thinking of her. I have to wonder why I`m still not over her. I blame myself for the breakup. But still I can`t get her out of my head or thoughts.
They say time, but how much time. I`ve joined art classes, work on the house etc. I guess having someone else in your life would be a big step in getting someone out of your head.
 shutterbug13
Joined: 10/10/2006
Msg: 110
How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/3/2009 7:31:03 PM
I don't think it hurts less it just hurts less often certainly a woman worthy of your love is also worthy of a little heart break pain.
 luv2lol
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 125
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 7:49:37 AM
You know this is the biggest thing I struggle with too. I'm a bit of an over-analyzer (which is good for the type of work I do but it kills me in the relationship realm) so I can go through the grieving process and try to keep myself busy but those thoughts are always there...the worst is when I'm alone in bed trying to go to sleep, I can lay there for hours not able to shut it off.

To find some peace I have either had a realization about myself (e.g. if rejected for some reason and then you experience that same thing in someone else you can see why the other person did what they did - this requires insight to why you were rejected though and often we don't have that). Or I have a realization about them to see they weren't the one (i.e. acknowledge the red flags and poor qualities that I was ignoring while I liked them). Or I just have to push through it and find someone else to transfer my thoughts to. That's a hard one for me because I don't find people that interest me romantically a lot...like hardly ever. But I also agree that there are some "Notebook" kinda loves that some will never get over/stop thinking about....you may find someone to distract you, you may even care a lot for them and marry them...but there's that one person who will always have your whole heart.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 126
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:02:06 PM
Do something to improve myself significantly in some area.
I've been in the best physical shape after a break up.
A good work out really makes you feel better, and just knowing you look better then ever is the best revenge you can get... even if your ex never sees the results.
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 127
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/6/2009 3:15:36 PM

am still sleeping with him he dont like the thought of me being with some one
but he does like the idea that you will continue to be used by him...you need to stop the game for your sake and your kids sake and please get on with your life. I know how extremely painful life is but you need to love yourself and your kids and let that be your center, not someone who doesn't value you...
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 134
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/8/2009 8:00:24 AM
There is a type of hypno therapy called neurolinguistic programming (nlp) which can alleviate the pain associated with specific incidents. It can work wonders, depending on the situation. But for something that is extremely complex and involves years and years and multiple facets, it probably won't work. I highly recommend it for short-term relationships that don't span many years, I don't know why or how it works, but it just eliminates the pain when you think of that situation and that person, it truly is miraculous! And it only takes one session with a good nlp therapist- after a session or two of explanation. For some reason, even when we know we are better off without a "poison" person in our life, it still doesn't over rule the heart
 idahosun
Joined: 4/26/2006
Msg: 142
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How Do You Get Somone Out Of Your Head?
Posted: 1/10/2009 10:50:20 AM
I think there have been some really great suggestions here, but we are all individuals and what may work for one (writing about it for example - which is something I do) may not work for someone else. But if we try many of the suggestions and try really hard to keep active so that other thoughts and conversations are distracting us, it just may help. My worst time is when I am alone and the thoughts all come racing into my head and then my heart just hurts so bad...but I am overcoming it and moving forward each and every day. Good luck to everyone in moving on. Some can take the relationship with them forever and use it as a good thing, but for some, if the relationship was abusive, it needs to be let go or it will kill any chance of a healthy relationship in the future. JMO
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