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 SteveinHP
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 5
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...Page 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Yes it is fair to dump someone with herpes. Why someone would want to be with someone who has it is beyond me. There is a daily risk of catching it. If I was having sex and in the middle a woman told me she had herpes, she would be on my lawn in a heartbeat. That is not cool at all.
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 6
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/2/2008 7:45:16 AM

I guess he had told her that he had Herpes in the midst of intercourse on the first time they were intimate one intoxicated night.

Is it fair to wait until after sex has started to mention it? That's worse than the herpes itself. If it happened to me I'd stop mid thrust and tell her to get the F out. If she mentioned it beforehand I wouldn't have sex with her but at least I'd be nice about it and be willing to be friends.
 OneMoreTimeWithFeeling
Joined: 9/8/2008
Msg: 10
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/2/2008 8:25:31 AM
It's stories like this that make me super happy I haven't had sex in a while. I go running A LOT though. LOL

He didn't tell her when he knew damn well he had herpes. And he tries to get out of using condoms on top of it. Not only would I dump him, I would of did a lot more that would of got me arrested. If she's still sleeping with him, then she's the fool because above all things he's a liar.

I know that people that have herpes say it's no big deal and blah blah blah, BUT I don't have it, and I don't want it. Thankyouverymuch!
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 14
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/2/2008 10:15:00 AM
NOT cool-take a flying leap-and help pay for medication-get the word out on this loser-fast!
 very happy camper
Joined: 4/21/2008
Msg: 19
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/2/2008 2:01:31 PM
It is absolutely fair to "let someone down easily" if they have something (disease, infection, habit, fetish etc.) that makes you feel uncomfortable. Don't think twice about it. However you should be as sensitive as possible.

My guess is that the unfortunate individual with Herpes has likely been through this before and will understand. If they do not, their problem.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 22
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:02:03 AM
guys dump girls for not having A+ bodies. Girls dump guys for having small weenies...


Never been dumped and would never dump for a reason of a small part...that's silly!

As for topic...

I meet a wonderful man many moons ago and found him to be the far most perfect man I could have ever asked for...He was such a gentleman, never pushing for intimacy (now I know why). Almost perfect...One day my sister meets this man and informs me of his plight with this over abundant condition. I felt sick, hurt (not from not knowing, but cuz I really liked this guy) and scared. I turned away without a word...Looking back I know should have said why I just disappeared but when scared I run...I should have been upfront but then again so should of he.

And ppl wonder why I am still single...anyone can lie about this condition...is it to "forward" to ask a new partner for a medical test before sex...No
I want to meet your mom, your dog, your kids and your DOCTOR!

I feel if one has it, be up front...give a person time to make an informed decision.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 25
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/13/2008 9:02:49 AM
Your qoute is it fair to dumped someone that has herpes? I would think so, even I caught herpes from that short intercourse ,I will dumped him. " Sweet and very good looking are dime a dozen. And it is not worth it if your health is at stake ..
 Discerning Virtuosa
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 27
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/17/2008 11:27:24 AM
Many people carry the herpes virus dormant and aren't even aware of it. Chicken Pox, shingles, Herpes are all related viruses. If you get a cold sore on your lip when your immune system is low it doesn't mean you have an STD, but it can still the same be highly contagious and any kind of oral sex would be a big no no and you can even have a herpes virus in the eye. Many people hear herpes and they automatically think it's from an std or promiscuity.
To tell someone that they have genital herpes AFTER they have started sexual contact with someone is definitely not right! They deserve to break out in the biggest most painful blisters ever - KARMA.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 31
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/17/2008 2:07:25 PM
Yes...and the commercial fades to the dismay of the pharmaceutical company...
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 33
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/31/2008 11:44:00 AM
It is just plain logic ,,,, it is not fair to be dumped because of Herpes IF THAT IS YOU. And it is fair to dumped that person with herpes IF THAT IS NOT YOU.......
 newblue1970
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 35
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/31/2008 12:03:05 PM
Oh Gawd - you mention testing for herpes. Can that really be done, accurately? In my reading and from a Urologist when I mentioned getting STD tests because of my cheating Ex, he said it wasnt worth it. Herpes is not only Type 1 and 2, but its related to chicken pox and shingles. He said if you ever had one of those the test might come up positive. And they cant distinguish between Type 1 and 2, unless it has symptoms they can look at.

So it sounds to me like asymtomatic herpes is nearly impossible to check for. And condoms are nowhere near a 100% protection - since the bad 'cells' arent only confined to what the condom covers.

Am I mistaken about the testing?
 newblue1970
Joined: 3/7/2008
Msg: 36
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/31/2008 12:19:07 PM
Angel - they dont NOW call oral cold sores herpes.. they always have! Its just USUALLY Type 1 on the lips and Type 2 on genitals.

Although... either type can switch locations. So you MIGHT have genital herpes on your lips.
 Willsniffurundies
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 37
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/31/2008 12:39:51 PM
I am almost afraid to even comment in this Forum. Seeing as how women will block you from e-mailing them even if you have just sent a" thank you" or" no thank you" response e-mail to someone honest enough to say she wants an intimate encounter. . .I can just imagine a certain percentage of women who will not even go any further once they see a guy was on a forum discussing HERPES!
Damn! Some of you women are unbelievable! (See my profile for more on THIS topic-lol!)
NOW. . .having said that. . .I don't think it would be totally unfair to at least OBJECT to the way in which the guy told her he has Herpes.
I mean, sure, we all get carried away sometimes. The classic exscuse for women having sex involves the phrase "then one thing led to another. . .". However, you really need to exercise some self-control.
You don't slide your unwrapped c0ck into a woman and THEN tell her you have Herpes.
Could this lead to a break up? Sure! Does it have to? no. Is it fair? What IS in relationships when tempers flare?
 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 38
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/31/2008 12:49:13 PM

Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...

In a heartbeat as not disclosing this until after intimacy is deception. I have not been discriminating about my sex partners for nothing. I'm clean and intend to stay this way. As many have said, a large percentage of the population has it...great, let them find each other.
 Blondecharmthe3rd
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 40
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 10/31/2008 1:01:31 PM
Herpes disclosure (like many posters before me) should come BEFORE sex. That would be reason enough to dump someone.

If you knew going in and continued, I say thats fine. You don't need to state a reason if you decide NOT to continue to an intimate level. And if you do get together, I can't imagine splitting solely based on Herpes.

Having said that... he should be slapped upside the head. No wonder Herpes is so prevelant!
 Lynquell
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 44
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 11/8/2008 10:48:34 PM
While it is unfortunate that he "mentioned" having Herpes in the middle of sex...he should have told her before the act ocurred. In truth, good, strong, stable, healthy relationships have the foundation of honesty and the ability to look past a persons faults and their past. EVERYONE DESERVES QUALITY OF LIFE...NO MATTER WHAT DISEASE THEY HAVE!!! If the person is to shallow to handle the situation, then leaving the person alone is a good idea. However, if the person is "deeper" than that and knows that there is more to life and relationships that a stupid STD and are mature enough, mentally, to handle it...decisions can be made from being open and honest about each others feelings. Figure out ways to protect your partner and your self. Enjoy your life...and enrich the lives of those you have been blessed to encounter. This is how good blessings come back around.

Lu :)
 IrishGod
Joined: 8/28/2006
Msg: 56
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 11/16/2008 3:43:28 PM
ngat73: Nice to see the OP being open-minded enough..

From seeing 2 full pages of everyone dissing people with STDs (EVACUATE)
Or STI's And yeah, it is scary! But really now..
So finally, Third page has the people trying to explain and have some reasoning.

If the man has it, and told her, hey, he told her she went through it.
SINCE he knows, im sure 100% he didnt have a (out break) when they had sex.
SINCE he knows, im sure hes on meds and knows the less chance with using
something. Mens first sign im sure they go into denial.
For women, im sure lie worse then men. For women with their insecurity
and everything else with their baggage, they will lie. Or dont even know they
have it. Point gave, point taken. But him to tell her with out him having feelings
for her with out the possibility of getting thrown away would be a big step.

HSV (Type 2) or even HPV (Type 10 thu 20) , very common things now.
And im sure most people on here would say 100% they never bring up the
time they had to get a shot in the ass because they had a STI -
(sexually transmitted infection) at one point in time!?
But i guess why should they? Its gone right?

If anyone has had more then 20 partners, your safe to say you've got something
before, or have something now. And if you dont right now? You will one day...
90% Real, and guaranteed! So i guess if you will get one, make sure you will
be with that person for a while. Because if not, you'll be the person crying
because not only do you feel ugly, you will feel more worthless and scared to
pass it and feeling like you will be alone for the rest of your life!

Now for the WHOLE reason i dont think you got yet was the question is
(Should she just be his friend now? Or kick him off like trash and hope she
didnt get it? )

I doubt she got it. im almost sure of it. To just be friend with him. Well.
Im sure he will understand. Hes had H for a while now im sure of also,
And hes used to being kicked around like hes giving everyone HIV.
Since he didnt have feelings for her, it will be ok either way. If she stays
with him, im also sure he will treat her right and will make sure he has no
sexual contact if he has an out break at anytime.

Safest people out there is the people that already has an STD......
(That is if they're reasonable , Honest, Clean people... )
 Topdawg4life
Joined: 4/9/2008
Msg: 62
Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 1/13/2009 5:25:58 PM

Is it fair? Well...I dunno... guys dump girls for not having A+ bodies. Girls dump guys for having small weenies...

All of that is small potatoes compared to dumping a guy with a chronic forever STD.

So yes, I'd say it's fair. Esp if he waited until he exposed her to tell her.

if a guy told me he had it? I would NOT have sex with him unless we were commited to spending our lives together. And even then I'd be freaked out over it. I'm sorry...it really is a dealbreaker for me.

We could play around other ways I guess w/his underwear on if we wanted ot date. But no sex unless we were planning on marriage. (which is pretty dam* unlikely).


Too bad for you, I guess you'd be missing out on allot of great guys. I suppose men should dump girls if they're diabetics seeing as diabetes can end up killing someone unlike herpes.

I bet some people on this thread have herpes and don't even know it. Herpes can go undetected for years. Although everyone on this site insists of being herpes free. I can say I have oral herpes and it doesn't bother me. Why? because I am an adult and there are much worse things in life then herpes. So you all can rant and rave about not dating people with herpes, dumping them because they have herpes whatever. I'd rather be with someone who has herpes that's good to me, than someone that's herpes free and treats me like sh!t.
 domainfullduplex100
Joined: 12/21/2012
Msg: 71
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Is it Fair to Dump Someone That Has Herpes...
Posted: 3/10/2013 6:04:58 PM

that's nasty I would never date someone with herpes or have dated/mated with someone who had herpes

Gross!!!!!



LOL,,,, you sound like you will know by looking at them. You are lucky if people even know to tell you.
Abstaining is your best protector...or having a serious relationship where both parties get tested thoroughly and are invested in the relationship to not cheat.
This is serious business
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