Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 16
How to treat a ladyPage 2 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)

And I always thought it meant I was to become a knight, wear shining armor, ride a great steed, slay dragons, joust at the tournament, and perhaps be worthy of my lady’s favor (the token given to the knight from his lady - let’s not get our minds in the gutter now).


Please!!! If you would do this wearing a leather loin thong and be contributing with some of that "fake sucking up" I've been hearing about we may be able to negotiate a blow job, or two but that would only be until marriage.

Then you know the drill!
It's De Walt or nothing!

Be warned I have a chastity belt and I know how to unlock it!
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 17
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:01:49 PM

only Broke Shields would be the only legimitate lady in US.


This does not make ANY sense in American or Spanish.
Comprende?

Wow.
Broke Shields.
Like from Blue Lagoon right?


Some folks should not reproduce.
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 18
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:06:46 PM

Some common courtesy practiced amongst all members of our society might result in a much more pleasureable environment


Ding ding! Niceties shouldn't be restricted to one gender whether giving or receiving.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 19
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/3/2008 4:57:41 PM

My grandparents raised me, and in doing so, showed my why and how, to treat women.

The word in this sentence from the OP that jumped out at me the most, was "why". Why would there be a "why", unless it was a reason or means for 'something'?


So, OP goes on to answer the why of the "why"....



Show the lady you are with some attenetion, and you will go far in her book.

Why be chivalrous? "To go far in a lady's book." So what is the difference between being chivalrous in order to go far vs. behaving in any other manner whatsoever to go far? Doesn't it all really depend on the lady? Afterall, per the OP, it was his grandparents who 'taught' it to him and consequently, he 'learned' the behavior. I think we all have the capacity to learn it....no matter what age. Just depends on the lady and if it is a high enough priority for her and whether the gentleman values her enough to learn it (if he hasn't already). Just the same as if she has a hobby or interest she would like him to learn so they can enjoy it together. If he is willing to learn it, it's because he values her and wants to please her.

Caution though, is the better part of valor....leopards and spots and all that. Some men would view it as, "she's trying to change me" and resist. Others will view it as "she means the world to me and I want to meet her needs and please her on whatever level I can (while staying true to myself).

Just MO.





~ds~
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 22
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/3/2008 5:45:16 PM

To me there is no such thing as an ugly lady, just a lady that acts ugly.

My exhusband was quite stunning in appearance. One day I looked at him and without so much as a thought to censor what was about to come out of my mouth, it happened. I said, "You know, I finally realize what ugly from the inside-out means." I didn't stay married too long after that. (He wasn't very attractive on the inside at that stage, I don't think he understands the concept nearly 9 years later ~ poor soul.)

~OP~ Wonderful post. Chivalry is, indeed, a wonderful thing. Kudos to your grandparents and to you for not following some current trends/mindsets that those things don't matter anymore. They matter and a true lady will always appreciate the kindnesses they are offered!
 OldFolkie
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 23
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/3/2008 6:21:44 PM
Chivalry is not a trick for getting lucky on your first date. It is, in the medieval sense, a code of ethics:

"a. marked by honor, generosity, and courtesy b: marked by gracious courtesy and high-minded consideration especially to women" (Merriam-Webster's definition).

Nowhere in the medieval code, or indeed in the modern concept, of chivalry is there a word about expectations for reward (in the sense of this thread being able to "score"). Chivalry was, and is, it's own reward. It is all about self-respect and your personal sense of honor.

I'll freely confess that I see less and less of that concept of honor and ethics in the world we live in. Maybe I'm just getting old, but I was raised to believe in honor AND chivalry, in its classic sense. I am not chivalrous because I think that behavior will get me laid, I am chivalrous because it is the RIGHT thing to do.

By the way, the idea of the Neanderthal's post above that chivalry is only for nice guys is hardly new. Women have been kicking guys to the curb for being chivalrous for a long time. The song "Greensleeves" was first recorded in writing in 1580, but the melody and the sense of the lyrics are much older.

Alas my love, ye do me wrong
to cast me off disc0urteously:
And I have loved you so long,
Delighting in your companie.

Greensleeves was all my joy
Greensleeves was my delight:
Greensleees was my heart of gold,
And who but my Ladie Greensleeves.

I have been readie at your hand,
to grant what ever you would crave
I have both waged life and land,
your love and good will for to have.

Refrain:

Thou couldst desire no earthly thing,
But still thou hadst it readily,
Thy musicke still to play and sing,
And yet thou wuldst not love me.
Refrain:
Greensleeves now farewel adieu
God I pray to prosper thee,
For I am still thy lover true
Come once again and love me.

Just sayin'......
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 26
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/3/2008 11:48:55 PM
What does it tell you about the women who apparently love men very much, some of which are apparently on this website, but never write a single line of praise?


Um... maybe it says that the women don't feel the need to start threads to pat themselves on the back for treating men as humans.
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 30
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/4/2008 3:17:20 PM

I've been reading the forums for over a year, and I haven't seen a single thread that was started by a woman that speaks well of men, all men.


I don't think there are any women who think "all men" are divine creatures. Likewise, I don't think there are any men who think all women are divine creatures. I'll reiterate that this thread is not praising women, it's praising men who act a certain way toward women. I don't recall any threads from either gender with the sole purpose of praising the other.
 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 32
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/4/2008 6:00:02 PM
've been reading the forums for over a year, and I haven't seen a single thread that was started by a woman that speaks well of men, all men.


Ok, I took your challenge and posted such a thread. While it's not a praise of all men, it praises some of the things men do. It's in the relationship section:

Things Men Do That I Really Dig
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 35
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/4/2008 8:26:43 PM
Chivarly is alright and all that... but if you wanna really study someone, I mean... REALLY study someone...
You have to look at how he treats people around him... not necessarily you.
He's out to impress you.
But he's not out to impress the waiter serving you.
So if you want to get REAL insight, go look at how they treat others: cooks, waiters, bellboys, other restaurant patrons... and also... if they speak ill of others way too easily: their ex's, parents, children, people from work you don't even know... Do they get impatient or complain way too easily about how they are treated in restaurants? These are better signs to look out for.
He may be opening doors for you, but if he lets it slam on that grandma behind you... that's no bueno!

My dos centimos.


 Closing Shop
Joined: 7/24/2008
Msg: 36
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/4/2008 8:30:09 PM
It was not a challenge. I was simply stating a fact. But thanks.


You're the one who deserves the thanks- it was a great idea.
 davidsauvignon
Joined: 2/6/2008
Msg: 38
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/4/2008 9:01:51 PM

^^^^ People can talk until they are blue in the face, but it is the actions and how they treat others that tell me the truth about them.


Bingo! Including the OP, correct? I mean, I'm not saying I don't believe he is a true "Southern Gentleman"....nor do I believe he is. All there is to go on, is his words in his OPost. Does it make it so? Nope. Those he meets will have that ultimate evaluation.....just as any who meet me or anyone else....despite any threads I/we start proclaiming anything.




~ds~
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 40
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:54:10 AM

I've been reading the forums for over a year, and I haven't seen a single thread that was started by a woman that speaks well of men, all men.

Then you clearly are either reading with jaded eyes or you are missing some very enlightening, loving threads. Sometimes, it's the reader, not the poster who is missing something. JMO

~OT~ This thread just happens to be titled in a "pro woman" manner. There are certainly many threads in which each gender praises the opposite gender. You just have to catch them prior to mysogamists or misdandry friends auto-delete them.
 SkycladnScottish
Joined: 9/25/2008
Msg: 41
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/5/2008 1:03:18 AM
Awesome post dude! Of course I like to think of myself as old fashioned when it comes to mannerisms so maybe I'm biased.

Now, if only a woman would write a similar post about women can treat men without some of the ugly cattiness... actually I think it works both ways in just about the same manner, there are just tweaks. I mean if a bunch of women called me pretty, I wouldn't mind but... I'm not gonna wear a dress for it. Besides, they're called kilts! :p

 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 43
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/5/2008 4:52:33 PM
Op, was raised by my parents like you were your grandparents, it is true, Chivalry isn't just for someone you look in hopes of something, it is a way of life which I strive for. I was raised different from a lot of people I know. I was raised on Classic music like sinatra and some rock n roll, I was raised to respect women and men EQUALLY and as individuals. I listen and although I don't have a ton of lady friends, the ones I have really enjoy my company.

Chivalry ain't dead, it is just underpracticed.
 TheyCallMeMrAwesome
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 44
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/5/2008 5:13:13 PM
Desert Wildflower, you need to get laid, not by me, but you seem to have a lot of pent up anger against men, I do chivalrous things for the sake of it, not to get in their pants, that is childish, and i amshocked at all the generalizing statements you make about men, god, its pathetic. am i better than women? no are they better than me? no. Why do you think all men are only after some **** or a blow job? bad experiances with men? oh well, and I know my spelling ain't perfect, or great, ya know why, cause i don't Fu cking care. Go get laid already, relieve that frustration out on a midget or something, maybe a flower
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 47
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/5/2008 10:04:53 PM

Most women really appreciate those small touches..more so than cheesy lines, insincere compliments or expensive dinners
Ofcourse there are still those who are offended by that behaviour and look at it like the man is being chauvanistic...but in my book, I think it's a beautiful, old fashioned and charming way of behaving ;)

I respectfully disagree; most women under 30 are as bad as men; they are into looks mostly; then money. And some put money first. Not all of course but many.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 48
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/5/2008 11:25:28 PM
I can't believe that this combo "contact broadcasting" and "nice guy" thread didn't get deleted

Maybe the OP has an "innie" with the Mods.

The OP said:

I talk to all ladies, be she tall -- short, thin -- fat, bald, blind or crippled



The OP gets a little "whacko", IMO, with the nonsense that "all women are beutiful", blah, blah, blah. Maybe in the eyes of God

I would wonder if the OP would spend the rest of his life with a fat, toothless, bald, blind and crippled old hag?? Or would he sing a different tune if he was caught having to live up to his "chivalry". It's one thing to talk to someone whose fat, bald, blind or crippled ... it's quite another to accept such a person into your life and live happily ever after.

God ... how I hate thinly veiled attempts at "sincerity" when the person isn't faced with having to live up to his "higher ground" morality.

Yup, they love it. They especially love it from meek NiceGuys(tm) who end up in the FriendZone(tm).

But after the doors have been opened, the small gestures have been received, and the gracious attitudes absorbed...

They go chase BadBoys(tm) who have not one ounce of chivalry

That would account for a large percentage of women. All the Broken Heart threads of cheaters, losers and abusers is evidence to that.
 forum girl
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 51
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/6/2008 2:10:03 PM
I think it is all about manners and respect for each other. Showing respect for all people is very sexy. Nice guys don't always finish last. I have to say that I have also met quite a few "bad boys" who have great manners
 bulls eye annie
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 52
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:37:31 PM
Wow, lot's to read. Personally, after doing for myself all my life, it's difficult for me to slow down for the man to even OPEN the door FIRST..haha, or I'll hop into the vehicle without thought. He's definitely gonna have to walk faster than me!

Gosh, and those flowers--they're gonna die, I'd rather a plant (that has a fair chance of living). Chocolate.....okay, that's a soft spot.

Chivalry.....isn't that when two people throw themselves on a horse and ride off into the horizon? Hmmmmm?

Fast forward to the 21st century. By no means am I implying that he be a push-over or a welcome mat. but a man who has kindness for all and respects others would still be a welcomed reprieve.
 Padawan61
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 54
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/6/2008 8:09:25 PM
YES Padawan61 -- I have dated those who are considered fat, bald -- a blind lady, and yes even one that was in a wheel chair

Dating is one thing ... but living happily ever after with them is quite another story. Read my post ... AGAIN.

I wrote so that the men would realize that women, and I do mean all women, in some form, love to have the simply things said or done for her

Yes, yes ... I'm sure the fatties would love to have the simple things said and done for them too ... but methinks they'll be waiting a long time. There's only so much of YOU to go around.

You are the type who passes on the not so pretty -- because you fail to see the inner beauty

Inner beauty is for ugly fat people.

The true beauty only can be witnessed by hearts of love

Therein lies the truth ... how much "hearts of love" can one have for ugly people in order to get to the "true beauty"??
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 56
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/12/2008 9:11:23 PM
"LOL exactly the point. Most of the of the few men she knew that acted like gentlemen were her FRIENDS.

Case closed."

Judge and jury for all women. My male friends do that, because they are gentleman, the men that I have dated and been involved with do also. It's not an absolute, and doing so doesn't automatically relegate them to "friends". Only my experience, which is all I can speak from and to.

If it hasn't been said, I have not only noticed but experienced that the women who are ladies don't spend time with men that aren't gentleman. It's not an "act" or a proscribed set of behaviors. I've known men who would "act" like gentleman up to a point and for a purpose. It's a ruse, the gentleman that I have in my life and have had in my life ARE gentleman it's not a put on false persona which is why the "nice guy" phrase gets such bad press.

More often than not, it's something that the "nice guys" try to foster an image, but if you politely decline a date with them, they're no longer as nice as they tried to appear.

I've never put "lady" in my profile, never will. Those that know me, I let them make up their own mind. And I've been privileged to know many gentleman and ladies from this site.

"Because basic manners are simply a part of who someone is, and how he/she goes about living life. Most people don't view manners as anything unusual, and if asked to describe themselves, would never think to mention being "nice" or having manners. "

I agree with Ren up to the point of saying basic. Not going to haggle over a word. Behavior is obvious from investing time in knowing someone. Well mannered individuals are just that, have no need to talk about or try to promote it. Well mannered indiviuals are just that, regardless of age or gender.

When someone's polite or nice to you with another agenda, it's SOO obvious.
 baggette
Joined: 3/11/2008
Msg: 57
How to treat a lady
Posted: 10/20/2008 9:18:36 PM
I think the OP meant, " enough said" by him.
Why are people so quick to take offense and/or judge each other here?
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 59
How to treat a lady
Posted: 5/21/2009 7:40:09 PM
Chivalry is not dead - just gasping for air in the intensive care ward.

I take great pride in being chivalrous to all the ladies I hang out with.

Unfortunately, there are some women who bite a man's head off when we act chivalrously towards them. They equate behavior like this as belief in their assumed weakness rather than just respect.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 60
view profile
History
How to treat a lady
Posted: 5/21/2009 10:40:23 PM
What's yow numbah ??????
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >