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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Improper English and/or Grammar?      Home login  
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 26
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Improper English and/or Grammar?Page 2 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I offered my direct answer to the OP's question in my posts, as well as adding some insight based on my own experiences. It really shouldn't upset anyone else on the thread. If so, I don't care at all. In my experience, people who emphasize writing skills as a reliable measure of intelligence or compatibility are people who tend not to be versatile nor well-rounded. They don't socialize well. There are far more "ivory-tower intellectuals" who have no partners than people who are less literate but more willing to accept partners with differing skill-sets.

Dating requires a great degree of versatility, flexibility, and adaptability. In my experience, people who have strong pet-peeves (such as being irritated at others' writing errors), are likely to drastically reduce the pool of dating prospects for themselves.
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 27
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Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/4/2008 7:48:31 PM
I teach part-time at a university and one of the things I tell my students on day 1 is "when it comes to spelling and grammar and punctuation, I'm going to be merciless on you. If you can't spell and punctuate properly you'll never get your message across." This is a pet peeve of mine especially when I look at profiles. This is your opportunity to impress someone, and you're going to blow it by looking illiterate.

Having said that, we use different tools for different situations. IMing and texting are supposed to be short and to the point and a dialect of sorts has evolved around it. It doesn't bother me to see those abbreviations in an IM, but you'd better make sure your profile doesn't look like it was written by a 4 year old (with all apologies to 4 year olds). BTW (see, I do it too) I'm not an English teacher... just a computer geek who cringes when I see memos and emails at work from people who can't write to save their lives....
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 28
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/5/2008 12:08:09 AM

With the popularity of text messaging and IM, abbreviations have become commonplace. I think it shows that someone is cool and modern! ! reelmein60

In that case, give me uncool and old fashioned any day.

- Peter
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 29
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/5/2008 5:31:34 PM

I'm ENFP....anyone else know what they are? ~ actualizing

I am me. If that's not good enough, if I need a four-letter label, then I'll bow out.

I am all for brevity and conciseness.


- Peter
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 30
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/5/2008 6:29:22 PM
I'm ENFP....anyone else know what they are?

ENTJ here. Who would have thunk it...
Joined: 7/18/2008
Msg: 31
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/5/2008 9:32:13 PM
As a matter of fact, I have a major in History with a minor in English. You were quite close in your assessment! I also work as a paralegal and legal secretary. Currently, I am writing a book. So, proper spelling and grammar (yes, I realize that there was a typographical error in my original post (one of the words I typed, as well as the first letter of the word adjoining it were absent, due to laptop difficulties and my typing speed of over 110 wpm with 97% accuracy). As for Myers Briggs, I am an INTJ, which is close to the INTP.

Perhaps I am a member of the "linguistic police" (as it appears that other posters have determined), but I find it to be either a lack of education or laziness on behalf of many. Then again, my profile has specifics about what I am seeking and I can not tell you how many people who fit the "I am not interested group" reply. Perhaps people do not read thoroughly, thus I also put a synopsis for those faint of heart in reading it, lol.

Thanks for the post. I am glad that I am not alone.
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 32
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/6/2008 5:54:23 AM
The shorten words are for chat rooms.

Not everyone can type 80 words a minute.

I have trouble typing because of physical problems.

 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 33
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/21/2008 7:57:39 PM
. . . . my eyes always seem to hone [sic] in on the errors! ~ jonibgood

I used to home in on the errors, too, but there's no point to it. People will write as they please. Even when you graciously try to help people with their writing and spelling, there are individuals who retort to abuse and report you to the PoF moderators. And so you are banned for being smart, even though your intentions are altruistic. (I am a former sub-editor and proof-reader from the UK.)

I remember hearing a snippet of a conversation when I worked in London. Two reporters were talking about a news item, and I was a few feet away, preparing to go home. I heard a fragment of what they said. The first reporter remarked: "It was the Marie Celeste, the ghost ship." The second reporter asked what year the ship was found.

As I was passing the first reporter's screen, I noticed he had written Marie Celeste. I bent over his shoulder and advised him that the ship was in fact called the Mary Celeste. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut, because the reception was far from kindly.

Anyway, I no longer consider myself smart. I just observe and keep my mouth shut. At least you cannot be banned or condemned for observing.

- Peter
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 34
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/22/2008 1:48:56 PM
There's even one man on here, I can't remember who (sorry!) who's stolen that line and put it on his own profile!! ~ junika

He 'stole' your words, did he?

You sound very precious with the English language. Everyone 'steals' other people's words - in some manner - cobbling together words that have been hammered out by people long since gone. We do it every day, with Shakespeare, for example, but we don't consider that we 'stole' his words.

I wonder why you apologise for not recalling the name of the man (of course it had to be a man) who 'stole' your words? Perhaps if you could remember his user-name we could all report him and get him into trouble?

Live and let live, lady. As you said, "it's not difficult, people."

- Peter
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 35
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/22/2008 6:59:17 PM
Maybe I started reading forums and getting these "cool" emails too late in life. ~ loveasmile

Join the club.

And it is a big club - comprising many people who are saddened and shocked at the disintegration of the once-beautiful English language.

Here in New Zealand, where I live, a news report states that many police cadets are having "trouble forming the alphabet." (This was in the New Zealand Herald, our main national newspaper.)

Never mind. If it keeps going like this our language will be simplified, to the extent that all we need do is grunt at each other. People will know by the level of the grunt, by the cadence and tone, what was meant.

It is not just our language that is in decline; the way people dress and the way they behave is becoming outrageous. For example, I was in a video store the other day, looking for one of those scarce, non-violent films, and I noticed that the men all around me had their trousers hanging down at their a$$es, with the crack of their behind gazing out at the world as they bent down to look for films. Women's arms and even their breasts were scarred with tattoos, their noses 'ringed' with bits of metal, their eyebrows scarred with holes from clips of one kind or another. And the noise from the 'background' music was so heavy I couldn't hear myself ask a question of the assistant behind the counter. The relief I felt when I left that store was palpable. I was almost in a state of bliss when I staggered through the doors on to the sidewalk.

We've got 'stars' on television today, chefs and the like, abusing the viewers with foul speech, spewing the F-word every other sentence. Gordon Ramsay kicked this off, and now Jamie Oliver does the same. It's meant to be 'cool,' you see. It's meant to be 'in.' And children watch this filth, every night, mouths agape, believing that what they see on the 'telly' must be real, must be true. And they copy the behaviour they see on the box.

How many decent 'family' programmes are there left today? A handful, if that. We've got crime shows coming out of the walls now, crime labs and slabs, pathologists, toxicology reports, murders, rapes, drug busts, assaults of every kind, assassins, bombs, shotguns blasting in people's faces, police officers chasing hoods down motorways, screaming and shouting . . . and that's just one night of the box.

I think we've reached critical mass, to be honest. I don't remember this when I was a boy, and that wasn't a million years ago. We had children's programmes that were entertaining and yet educational. We had TV hosts who were calm, well presented, eloquent and educated, who had their feet on the ground, unlike today's TV hosts, some of whom are so hyped up, manic and stupid the camera can't keep them in focus.

Of course, it may all be just in my imagination.

- Peter
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 36
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/23/2008 1:42:25 AM
That was a bit unfair, although understandable seeing as it's sometimes difficult to get the intonation right in forums/emails. ~ junika77

Yes, it was unfair, and I apologise if I sounded harsh, for it was not my intention.

Blessings - Peter
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 37
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/23/2008 2:50:09 PM
Well maybe it will die out soon enough. Haxor chat lasted about two years. I honestly think the only reason text talking is so popular is because people cannot spell the real words. Sadly most of these mistakes are written on places with spell check. I love spell check because not writing alot my spelling has become awful!

The part that pisses me off though is wich words go were,where,wear, sometimes wich to,two,too much weight,wait is put upon you. Although i know what most of them do mean it is still stupid.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 38
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/23/2008 3:48:43 PM

Well maybe it will die out soon enough. ~ shmodzilla

I don't know about that, Shmodzilla.

Here in New Zealand, where I live, university exam boards are now allowing students to write their theses and exams in duh textspeak. (I kid you not.) Also, here in NZ, overall pass marks have been lowered to cater for the ethnic groups, Maoris, etc, who find it too tough.

What does all this tell you? It tells you that we are heading for Dumb Dumb Land.

Textspeak is gaining popularity, not losing, unfortunately. I predict that children in the not-too-distant future will actually be taught in textspeak, marked in textspeak and corrected in textspeak.

- Peter
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 39
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/25/2008 4:57:00 AM
I am far from perfect but I do try to use proper grammar and spelling. I had an e mail this morning "how r u doing" does not get more annoying than that. I do not get it, personally. He did get the not so nice Diva reply. People like that really make me wonder how they get by in the working world, not to mention their own world. Do they not see how tacky it is???? It is so "thuggish." Like people can not even take the time to write a normal, communicative e mail? I understand if you are texting and in a hurry but people really should not make a lifestyle out of it. Certainly not as a first impression.
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 40
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/25/2008 11:02:28 AM
MEH is a sound that some people make.
Kind of like "ugh."

ANYWAYS.. I can't stand it when people "type liek disz" or when they "kant speel four shyt"

Seriously.. If a guy spells my name "ERICA" I'm going to delete their message asap. it's like.. Uh, wtf? My name is my login name.. And it's spelled correctly, minus the 1, um.. use common sense much?
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 41
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/25/2008 3:50:38 PM
People like that really make me wonder how they get by in the working world, not to mention their own world.
Do they not see how tacky it is???? It is so "thuggish." ~ Auburndiva

I couldn't have put it any better, Auburndiva. You have put your finger on the literary pulse with your choice of word - 'thuggish.'

- Peter
Joined: 4/7/2005
Msg: 42
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Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/25/2008 7:05:10 PM
Awww, itz jest 2 dang funnie two C the supercilious , meticulous folks get their BVD's tangled with their vocal (make that keyboard) cords. Somewhere I recall reading an Email that pointed out that most human minds really only read the first and last letters of a word and can easily decipher what was meant even if there were mistakes or omissions in the correct spelling. Communication is just that. If you understand what my point is then I have communicated with U. If your shallowness (or pickiness, or snobbery) forces you to delete communication from , and consideration of, a potential POF suitor then so be it. This whole thread relates back to external beauty vs inner beauty questions in my mind. Admittedly most people (including me) prefer a reasonable mixture of both in a potential mate , there are those that prefer extremes. If someone rejects my inquiry because of Hi , how R U,,,,,,,,,then we likely would never been able to progress onward to a meaningful future anyway. Nothing like saving wasted effort. Happy fishing , mates.
Joined: 10/6/2008
Msg: 43
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/27/2008 9:30:14 AM
Soul union,
The US started doing that about 20 years ago so kids would actually graduate. As if aceing a substandard education makes sense. It doesn't matter because even passing they will still have the same crap jobs as if they failed a real education. For the record i was horrible in school, but at least i tried and it even made me to the honor roll a few times. I always try to continue learning as well. Spellcheck oddly enough taught me better than school for spelling.
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 44
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 10/27/2008 11:15:42 PM
Yet another example of a lack of command of the English language… seems as time goes by on POF, it’s becoming more noticeable to me. ~ Howdidigethere

I can hear the thunderous roar of feet beating to the library to borrow the latest edition of The Elements of Style, by William Strunk Jr.

Seriously, I was watching the main news tonight and heard the newscaster saying 'bought' instead of 'brought' so many times I thought it was an edition of The Twilight Zone. "She bought it with her," "He brought one at the shops." And so it went on. I mean, it's not rocket science. Bought and brought have different meanings, or they did when I went to school.

Anyway, who cares today, when everyone's yapping into their cellphones and writing in duh textspeak? It's all so cool. Yep. Yup. Yip. Bring it on!

- Peter
Joined: 12/4/2004
Msg: 45
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 11/1/2008 8:38:05 AM

Where is the technology that allows us to voice input to text? Maybe the next idiotic stage of technology is where we send messages ala sound byte. Ultimately, whatever I write, the goal is to be clear or understood in communication, so - a few f***ups are forgiveable.

Voice recognition has been around for a long time, so long that they're now included in some operating systems. Although some are extremely accurate, there is only so much they can do to not only help people construct well written sentences, it's still up to the individual to convey well constructed thoughts first.
Joined: 5/20/2007
Msg: 46
view profile
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:31:41 AM
Well, at least I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way! Yes, when they use the shorthand usually reserved for cell phone text messages while on IM, or email, it's definitely a HUGE pet peeve.

I'm not saying that a man must have Perfect grammar and spelling, but it sure does help if he can effectively communicate. As with this site and others, when you misspell a word, it notifies the writer and allows you to go back and fix it before you hit the send button...

If a man chooses to send me a shorthand message, or one with way too many grammar and spelling errors to effectively read, then yes, he gets sent by the way-side...

First impressions are the most important. If someone is truly worth investigating, why not invest a little time and detail into writing an appropriate message? Invest a little bit now, and the Return could be much greater!

Chapman, Kansas
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 47
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 11/5/2008 6:41:29 AM
improper gramma's...

makes me think of little old ladies doing a splendid rendition of, "knees up mother brown" over a keg of ale

yeah, yeah... i know...

Joined: 11/20/2004
Msg: 48
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 11/6/2008 12:19:33 AM
It git un ma nurv 2 !
 Soul Union
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 49
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 11/8/2008 1:04:32 PM
Soul Union, your posts remind me of Gulliver among the Yahoos. Yes, the world is a little too much with us nowadays. Good luck finding the Houy-hnhnms. ~ bbw2love

Thank you for your kind words, Bbw2love.

I have received many messages from 'Gulliveresses', women who are exhausted and disillusioned with the state of the world - and with dating. Some have poured their hearts out to me. They also enquire if I am any closer to finding my ideal mate.

Allusion to my ideal mate can be found in The Two Voices, a poem by Tennyson, of which these are a few lines:

On to God's house the people prest:
Passing the place where each must rest,
Each enter'd like a welcome guest.

One walk'd between his wife and child,
With measur'd footfall firm and mild,
And now and then he gravely smiled.

The prudent partner of his blood
Lean'd on him, faithful, gentle, good,
Wearing the rose of womanhood.

And in their double love secure,
The little maiden walk'd demure,
Pacing with downward eyelids pure.

These three made unity so sweet,
My frozen heart began to beat,
Remembering its ancient heat.

Best wishes, and thanks again.

~ Peter
Joined: 8/16/2006
Msg: 50
Improper English and/or Grammar?
Posted: 11/9/2008 2:23:26 AM
I don't mind some abbreviations, but honestly, how much time does it take to write you, are, for or two? Abbreviate things like Talk To You Later, Laughing Out Loud or Instant Message; stuff that takes a few seconds to type. But if the word takes less than a second, spell it out! And please use punctuation. I go cross-eyed trying to get the gist of a paragraph lacking proper punctuation. Capitals in the right places always look smart too, even if you never got past the third grade.

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