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 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 51
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationshipPage 3 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Its' possible that a young woman has been abused or been dealt cards in life that were very hard. I think that any woman who would accept a relationship with a man 30 years older than herself is simply looking for a safe and secure place. Both will deny this; The woman in her subconscious desire for safety and security, and the man with his ego and denial that this is so. The relationship will last only as long as this woman is afraid or unwilling to sever the ties that bind, because they do. The only difference between living with her father is that they have sex, and that an older man is taking advantage of the weak, emotional state of mind of that young woman. I think that older man would be far more respectable to simply offer himself in the role of a father and refuse her sexual advances, because in a healthy state of mind, she would not make them. JMO
 HarDayKnight
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 52
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 7:14:59 AM
Never having gone through a divorce or raised children, I find that I have no more in common with women my age, or older, than an intelligent younger woman. Still, I am not looking for someone a great deal younger, or older, than myself. Under the right circumstances, I would consider making an exception. Never say never. It is unlikely though. I think age can be a deal breaker in most instances.... For me.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 53
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:00:47 AM

Sex is a normal, human need.


Need? I would say desire and I would add that a old man who desires a very young woman is normal, but....the term "dirty old man" comes to mind, especially when that woman is psychologically and emotionally damaged by the circumstances of her life.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 54
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should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 8:29:13 AM

(Msg 153) "Beautifully explained!"

Yes I agree, I guess because it's not ONE thing a young person would do, but everything an old person would . So in an older younger relationship it is the young one who does the compromising.


I don't see it that way. Young people watch TV. They shop for food and clothes. Check out the local mall. It's full of young people.

The point being there are many opportunities to spend time together as there are things everyone has to do. A relationship involves spending more time at home or doing "home necessary" activities than anything else. That is where compatibility lies.

A young person can go to a recreation center for all sorst of activities and meet similar people there, however, that is probably one day/night a week. If they wish to ice skate or play paint ball their partner's presence is not required.


I don't watch TV and shopping is a chore so it is certainly not a lifestyle for me, but to each is own. I would die in her scenario, but not everyone is the same. Her lifestyle sounds like my parents before my mom died last year....But if one is happy with that it's all good...I just want more.


Just as there are people who enjoy having house parties, constantly entertaining, others prefer a quiet home. I don't think it depends on ones age.


(Msg 156) How can 2 people develop something that lasts for any good period of time and/or includes other common interests than sex, unless the common interests are not already there?


I suppose it depends on the definition of "common interests". For example, I don't consider similarities in home life to be "interests". As I previously mentioned some people like to constantly entertain. Their home is like a social center. Others, like my wife and myself, prefer to go out or visit other people. While we do, on occasion, entertain it is not the norm.

My wife, having been single for many years, enjoyed such activities/hobbies as sewing. She could make anything from curtains to blouses. In the last 12 years together I think she's used her sewing machine once! I used to hang out with the guys on a Saturday having a beer and checking out my friend's wine-making set-up. That quickly ended as I had a partner to do things with.

The sewing and the beer drinking were changed for walks in the park and driving to country fairs and checking out fine restaurants. Both our lives and activities changed because we wanted to be with each other. One activity I enjoyed was visiting antique car exhibitions because I own an antique car. My partner enjoyed the social aspect of it even though cars did not particularly interest her. After the exhibition we'd check out a nice restaurant.

Another example is spending a few weeks down south during the winter. My partner likes that and although I'd be just as happy to stay home I enjoy seeing different sights/different places. For me, it's all about being with the person. As long as it doesn't involve bungee jumping I'll probably enjoy the activity if I enjoy the person's company.


(Msg 157) It's the "who", moreso, than the "what" of "doing stuff"................ Who cares, if she remembers when the Beach Boys were in their heyday? "What's for dinner?" is a far more relevant "common interest" in "the now".


Exactly! My partner grew up learning a different native tongue/culture and attended an all-girls school and was taught by Nuns! I had my first car at 13 years old and used to race it throught apple orchards. What the hell would we have in common to discuss? We focus on the present and future.


(Msg 165) I would say desire and I would add that a old man who desires a very young woman is normal, but....the term "dirty old man" comes to mind, especially when that woman is psychologically and emotionally damaged by the circumstances of her life.


And a 22 or 23 year old guy would be of more help/benefit to her? Who is more likely to dump her; the 22 year old who can get any other young woman or a 52 year old who appreciates what he has?

And let's not forget if she is interested in a relationship it's doubtful she'll take the advice to remain celibate and "work" on her problems. The odds are she'll end up in some type of relationship.

So, whether she's fully healthy and aware of her choices or "psychologically and emotionally damaged" which individual is going to be of more benefit; the 22 year old or the 52 year old?

In my view a relationship with the 52 year old is a win-win situation.
 maidenalberta
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 55
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:46:14 AM
Personally I tend not to date anyone 10 years my seniour or junior. My reason is a bit different though. Life experience is a wonder way to springboard into conversation and get to know each other. We connect on similarities, memories of past concerts, fashion trends etc. Impossible to do with someone with such a huge age difference. Remember speaking with a young man he was 32, (totally into older chicks..unquote yeach) who was confussed because I brought up Pong and Attari. Spent next 20 minutes explaining! I tend to live for the here and now but in this instance I jump 10 years look at the big picture and wonder do I really want to be retired and beging the second chapter in my life while my partner has only just begun theirs and just hitting their life peaks? I personally would not do it but, if you love her, speak with her, if she is willing, knowing how cruel we humans can be with the whole younger woman older man I say go for it. Life is not a rehersal...you only get one go around

tic toc tic toc srongandquite.

Maiden
 Remington55
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 56
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 2:07:44 PM
Good response "Blueangel33" (Msg 14)...
There are two variables that I can think of, first is not about age, but about maturity, a person can be young & very mature or elderly & never grew up. Secondly is about culture, in some cultures, they seek a partner who will be there for them regardless of age difference, it's about a woman's needs. (affection, conversation, honesty and openness, financial support and family commitment, etc). I'm sure if these are met & the relationship is compatible, who can judge on what two consenting adults do.

On the extreme, $$$ makes a difference too, just see Hugh Hefner, I think he's in his 80's and his girlfriends are in their twenty's or so.

It about boundaries & expectations & where you are in life, since you only have this one, make the best of it, regardless what the rest of the world may think of you. Are you willing to sacrifice your happiness because of what other people think? As long as it's not illegal or immoral, then pursue your interests & that of your potential mate. Good luck...

**~Remington55~**
 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 57
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 5:53:55 PM
"I know you are just posting your opinion, but what you wrote is totally ridiculous."

Not to me... I think Shirley pretty much nailed it.

"There was no abuse, just boys behaving like jerks, and I didn't want my future defined by endless silliness, drunken binges, childish pranks, or a view of life that couldn't see much beyond the end of the month. "

All I can say is you had some bad luck and met the wrong young men. I have 3 happily married nephews who do not behave that way. As a matter of fact one of them is a marine fighting for our country.

"Finally, my mom suggested a man maybe 10 years older than me. Boy, does she regret saying that now. "

I am the mother of a 33 year old daughter and NEVER would I suggest such a thing.
She is married to a very successful contractor her age BTW....

I'm glad you're happy but don't discount young men because you didn't find one, they are out there...

"Who knows, I may not live past 30"

I am so grateful that my daughter does not make such negative statements and for that matter neither do I..
 matured one
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 58
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/11/2008 10:32:38 PM
Wow,pretty intense communication here.I have always dated older women.From as much as five years older to 16 years older and the 16 yr.older one was the best relationship I ever had.At first she was`nt quite comfortable but loosened up when she realized I was`nt after her money or anything like that and just liked her for her.Some women have issues when an younger guy shows interest in her,thinking an ultierior motive.However I have always just felt comfortable around older women and thats why I go for them.
One thing to keep in mind is generational differences and without a very strong bond this will become apparent and the relationship could suffer.
There are instances where two hook up and are very happy throughout their lives,but if I read the start of all this correctly 30yrs.is a very large gap indeed.
 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 59
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should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/12/2008 9:47:22 AM
Did everyone forget the saying "Love Is Blind!"? Most everyone on POF is looking for a soul mate; someone to share their lives with. Just the one saying alone says you look beyond age, race, looks, and such. When you love someone you see them in a different light then everyone else. True love makes the world disappear as well as all their opinions. I find it sad that so many people care what society says. If what society has to say is so important and right then why is there so many divorces and unhappy marriages or just people straying from their "society" right relationships? You have to Love from your heart and soul not just your mind and body. Granted their are laws that shouldn't be crossed but if your of legal age of concent then why not enjoy a relationship with someone you love? Age, race, ethnic background, social status, bank accounts, and looks should never be a factor in matters of the heart. If you truely love a person none of this is important because they are everything to you. You'll find ways to adapt as times change and it won't be a burden because ...LOVE IS BLIND!
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 60
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/12/2008 11:23:59 AM

so far we have had no intimacy because of societies standards and our own standards , any other comments from any one?


I quote the OP because it seems that the original question has been forgotten. Many posters have expressed offense at my opinions....which is exactly all they are. Read back and you'll notice that I qualify my opinions with "I think" or "I believe" or "IMO". I am entitled to them and they are ideals which are true for me. Your ideals are true for you and you also are entitled to them. The purpose of these forums is intended expressly for debate and if we all agree, there is no debate.

For Heather and her honey, I extend my best wishes.

For RM and his honey, whom I suspect to be the POF poster, Romance4love, I also extend my best wishes.

As per the OT, I don't agree with your relationships. Personally, I foresee precipitous heartbreak for all of you. That is my opinion and it is my privilege to have that opinion. I forsee that in normal circumstances, you will be separated either by death or decision. I believe that the concept of "till death do us part", should be the focus of a long term and committed relationship. Chances are that your older honeys will pass long before you. Of course it is also possible that you young ladies could pass first, but shouldn't we plan our lives upon the probable scenario as opposed to the possibilities of traumatic or even tragic circumstance?

Some have said "live for the moment". Some have quoted the statistics on the longevity of these "alternative relationships", as Heather referred to them. Many others have stated they are free to choose and that is absolutely correct. For myself, I choose to seek a man with whom I can reasonably expect to share a comparable life span. We will share our past which will contain many mutual memories and experience, being in the same relative age. Our pasts afterall, are a major factor in how and why we become the people we are. We will share our present and our dreams for the future which will hopefully include mutual goals that we will work towards together. I don't want to spend a life of retirement before my time, nor do I want to come home to share the stories of my career with a man who is retired with whom I may no longer be able to relate to. I don't want my future to include the knowledge that my SO will be a very old man or dead long before me, or even worse, becomes no longer desireable to me in any way, because when in comparison, I am still relatively in my youth. I choose not to risk those very real possibilities. I believe that life throws us enough curves without deliberately adding my own.

These, and previous posts have been my response to the OT. You may agree or disagree and the debate will continue.
 bewitchingall1
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 61
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should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/12/2008 2:05:03 PM
I agree with TPNW there are some men looking to have children so they won't want an older woman that is beyond that point. Which is why I personally make it important to point out that from the get go with any new possible significant other. For some it's not a question of if we want children its a fact we can't have any. That is true of even young woman that can't concieve for medical reasons. It may not be a want to factor involved but a medical reason the negates they can't. Saying I don't want children is a blanket statement which don't allow for those that want but can't. There are also those that can't have children of their own but would be thrilled to be involved with someone that has children from a previous relationship. Maybe POF should put those in the drop down list....lol So should menopause, infertility, and impotence figure into the age factors? Only in the sense that we all need to know how to be honest and forth right with one another. and the discussion goes on.................
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 62
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:39:02 PM

What's objectionable is your assumption of "dsyfunction" and "exploitation" in any relationship that differs from one that you would choose for you.



especially when that woman is psychologically and emotionally damaged by the circumstances of her life.


I believe RM, that the above is what you refer to in the top quote. I think that we are all dysfunctional to a certain extent. I don't consider psychological or emotional damage to be necessarily a symptom of dysfunction.

I maintain my belief however that a man your age with a very young woman who may be completely unaware that she is simply looking for a safe and secure place, is being exploited by a man who does not consider that and chooses to promote a sexual relationship, even if it seems that she wants it.


So long as both are adults, and there is no coercion, as for example a "boss" demanding sex from a woman desperate to keep her job, then why is that a problem for others?


You make it very clear in many other posts on different threads that if a woman is not secure enough with her own sexuality to put out, that you move on. Can you really say then that there is no coercion in your relationship? Where would she go without you? Does she have any other 'as easy' options? Would you be there for her without the sex? If not, how does that demonstrate love? Your presumably established life is making things easy for her. Coercion of sorts. Would she choose to be with you if your home and financial assistance and security were not available?

If you die according to statistics in 22 years, the fact is that your SO knows that she will be devastated and alone provided that you are still together, which I believe, is highly unlikely. Chances are that your protection, mentoring and stability will help her to become healthy and independant, and then you will be alone. Will you be happy for her ability to move on or will you be heartbroken? Either way, someone gets badly hurt. Its' almost predictable. You didn't comment on that. It does no good to say that many relationships don't last that long anyway. That I think, is just using a negative to argue a positive, unless of course one or both of you is simply living for the moment, and in that case....is that love?

While you are sharing your bed with a woman, I consider to be a relative child in comparison to your age, experience, and individual profiles, I am enjoying company, and sometimes great sex with attractive, intelligent, and articulate men with whom I have first become friends, and with whom I share ideals, memories and experiences. One day I hope to meet a man my own relative age with whom I am friends, "first and foremost". We will work together to be the best we can be...together, for all of the days of our lives and because we are close in age, we are entitled to every hope that we will have long lives together. Our sex life will be second to that wonderful friendship, but so much better because we are best friends and soulmates first.

Those are my ideals. You are welcome to yours. I again remind everyone of the OP.
 N2wildplaces
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 63
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should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/12/2008 7:02:02 PM
Generally speaking, I AM looking for someone closer to my own age, although there are many out there within my range specified that I am NOT attracted to nor would I e-mail them after having viewed and read their profile. That is NOT to discount the potential & possibilities out there of someone considerably older than me, but I have to be honest & admit I am not ACTIVELY searching for someone ~10 yrs. older than me, (which seems to be a bone of contention with a few of those who have written to me that I have replied to.) To put it into perspective, I am sure most of you men in your 50's are NOT searching for someone in her 60's as a potential mate. A fellow e-mailed me awhile ago, & didn't seem to like my candor....I was 44 at the time, he was 55 & stated most people thought he was in his early 30's. I saw his picture....he looked every bit in his 50's! I went back to his profile & noticed that his age preference for a mate was 13yrs younger or up to only 2 yrs older than he was. He was not happy, nor did he have a good answer when (to prove a point), I referred to his age range criteria and candidly asked if he were seeking a 65 yr old woman. He replied that age was only a number, and just a criteria........to which I replied: "Yes, it is a criteria, & we all have our criteria"....some just easily take offense at other's criteria, & assume that that criteria must be carved in stone because it is in a profile. (Mine is NOT carved in stone). BUT.... If I am willing to compromise on some things, there will likely be something spectacular (in my opinion)within that person to make me flex a little in my criteria range. The gentleman, when all was said and done, stated he could see my point.
Yes, age CAN be only a number. When I was 33 I met a man who was 35 & acted & looked like he was well into his 50's. Near that same time I met a man who was 46 & did not look or act a day over 35. I just feel that those who tend to be honest (like me) in what they are seeking tend to be "chastised" for it.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 64
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/12/2008 9:49:15 PM
I am 6'3", 66 and I date only women 32-53 who are hot. For me, a substantial age differential is a deal maker, not a deal breaker.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 65
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/13/2008 1:26:36 AM

One of the differences in the dynamic between older/younger, and many more traditional peer to peer, is that, when I am in a relationship as I am now, my focus includes her growth as a person, and her future.


RM....although it seems that you have this lady's best interest at heart, how does this not feel like fatherhood to either one of you?


dialog is not about changing someone's opinion...it's about sharing ideas in the form of opinions, so that we understand how others view a particular situation...when new info is added to a mix, the dialog has new vitality...and ideally, its participants are enhanced with an expanded view that increases their understanding and awareness...


I believe that is what we are doing. Just because you and your SO offer your personal experiences as arguements for living in the 'now', does not mean that others need to agree and therefore the dialogue continues.


I just feel that those who tend to be honest (like me) in what they are seeking tend to be "chastised" for it.


If you express an opinion alternative to someone else's, then you must expect disagreement sometimes.


Your faiths and commitment are more important than your ages.


I agree. Its' the level of faith and commitment from each partner in this older versus younger scenario that I question.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 66
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/13/2008 1:06:09 PM
As men grow older it is in the natural order of things for them to pair up with younger women. Just look back in history. Of course, evolutuonary reasons form the basis for middle aged and older men's preference for younger women (women who appear to be fertile). The men who were drawn to infertile women, if there ever were any, left few or none of their genes in the gene pool.

I have been in nothing but older-younger relationships for well over a decade now. I can not even imagine (nor do I want to) what it would be like to be with a woman near my own age.

In my experience, the only people around me who seem upset or disturbed and even angry when they see me with a younger woman I am dating are women near my own age. They get a strange puckered-frown look on their face like they have something astringent and sour in their mouth. I chalk it up to envy and resentment. Older women, say 70 and up, seem happy with it. They light up smiles and say hello. Younger women don't appear to notice or seem to care one way or the other since most have dating lives of their own. Other men seem happy enough about it and some confide to me they wish they were so fortunate.

Whose business is it anyway? That of the people involved in the relationship and possibly society at large if a minor or person of reduced capacity is involved.
If the people involved are consenting adults and happily choose to be together it makes the world a better place.
 Verissa
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 67
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:37:40 PM
I dated a man 22 years my senior...he was wonderful and I adored him. Sadly it was a deal breaker because I wanted more children and he wanted none. If two people agree on lifestyle and can live happily together it might not be a deal breaker...it might work out fine.
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 68
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/13/2008 5:54:25 PM
The reality is that the older men, say 45 - 65, date and marry younger women 35 - 50, not 18 -23 or thereabouts. My remarks were addressed to this part of the population. Your and my recently-turned-adult daughters are safe from the codgers!

Most people in their late teens through their late twenties or even into their early thirties date and marry mates within a couple of years of their own age. My remarks concern middle aged and older men, not young men.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 69
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should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/13/2008 6:25:26 PM

(Msg 201) If young adults are not mature enough to think for themselves who is to blame but their own parents and the deficient upbringing they were given from ages 1-18?


I'm always reminded of a story I read a few years ago. A girl delivered a baby at her prom. A miscarriage at six months. She left the fetus in the toilet and returned to the dance.

When the Police investigated she explained no one knew she was pregnant as she didn't show. She said she couldn't tell her family as it would have broken her father's heart.

That poor girl starved herself for months so as not to show her pregnancy because she was either scared or ashamed to tell her father. Can you imagine how she was brought up?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

When people ask how one would feel if their daughter dated older guys my daughter, at 22, dated a guy 35. I knew she wouldn't end up pregnant and dumped because guys 35 know what that would cost them. She was treated better by him than any guy her own age treated her.

While the OP is older the gal he's with is around the same age as my daughter was. People insinuate the guy will manipulate the gal. I don't know what 22 year old females they are familiar with but I have never met a 22 year old gal who did anything they didn't want to do!
 1lifelove16
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 70
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/13/2008 9:59:48 PM
Depends on a few details. Like are you in any way (now be honest with yourself here) influencing her "mind" in any way whatsoever ?
As adults we have a tendancy to "overpower" young adults with our so called "wisdom" especially when we are getting "involved". Also are you buying gifts for the young one ? Showering a younger generation with gifts and showing alot of attention tends to make that person "feel" rather grownup.
One needs to really think about their motives as opposed to their wants or needs and not confuse the two.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 71
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/14/2008 5:10:17 AM
When I was in my 30s', I dated a man 13 years older than myself. He was wonderful and I adored him. He was my mentor and confidant. We shared fabulous intimicy. Sadly, the age gap was a deal breaker because I realized that I wanted a man who would not be nearing senior citizenship when I reached his current age.
 surely im shirley
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 72
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/14/2008 6:05:31 AM

Like someone else said, this discussion has become pointless and circular. Questions are raised, and answered by people, men and women, who are in older/younger relationships, and out pops another criticism.


Why so sensitive? They're not criticisms, but opinions , and it seems that only a selected few questions have been answered.

Furthermore, the female friends of my three children are all in their late 20s', and I cannot think of a single one who would not be completely grossed out by the thought of an intimate relationship with a man 30 years their senior, unless of course, and the joke is that he'd better be very rich, very generous, very good looking and hopefully near death!
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 73
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/14/2008 7:22:56 PM
Msg 227: I have an adult daughter and I would much rather see her with the right older gentleman than the wrong jerk near her age!
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 74
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should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/14/2008 8:17:31 PM

(Msg 227) seems to appear the only men on here not complaining of it are the ones who don't have kids...if ya'll were parents you would most likely have a diff opinion


I wrote in msg 206,
When people ask how one would feel if their daughter dated older guys my daughter, at 22, dated a guy 35. I knew she wouldn't end up pregnant and dumped because guys 35 know what that would cost them. She was treated better by him than any guy her own age treated her.


Maybe I'm wrong but could sex have anything to do with people's aversion to such unions? Do people feel that sex is the primary reason older men are with younger women? If so, perhaps I can shed some light on this.

First, let me say that at 56, my sex drive is fine. That being said, when I was 22 my sex drive was through the roof! Common activities, intellectual conversations, similar values........at 22 there was one activity, one conversation, one value that was front and center and I'm sure we can all guess what they was.

So, if anyone believes a 50 year old man's primary concern is sex while a 22 year old man's concerns lean more towards activities and conversations...........well, they've never been a 22 year old man.
 sunshine_824
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 75
should age differance be a deal breaker in a relationship
Posted: 10/15/2008 6:01:20 AM
As a woman who's been there, done that, I would say - yes. A 30 year age difference is a deal breaker.

At 22 I was involved with a man much older than myself. I had been in a couple of relationships with guys my own age and thought that an older man would be more settled and family oriented(I had a young daughter). While everything "seemed" rosy at first, I was too YOUNG to really know him and see how poorly we fit each other. We finished each other's sentences, had deep meaningful conversations, had fun outings and romantic times, enjoyed being intimate, etc. but the age difference was too much.

For the record, not all older men leave because they woman gets a little older. Every older man/younger woman relationship I've ever known has ended with the younger woman dumping the man. Often times it's for a man closer to her own age that she has more in common with. Sometimes(like in my case) the younger woman walks away from the older man because she learns the pitfalls of dealing with a much older man.

They may be "healthy" at 53 but by 63 there's a good chance he'll have one illness or another. And if you're in your late 20's early 30's - possibly with children- the burden of taking care of a sick old man, her child(ren), and still hold onto her career/family/friends would be too much. As high as 50 year olds *think* their sex drives & abilities are, they still don't match the energy of a twenty-something. But most importantly, they have experience and **BAGGAGE**(even if they think & swear that they don't ) that a twenty-something isn't equipped to deal with and shouldn't have to.

Do this girl a favor and point her in the direction of a guy her own age, get a divorce, and find a woman you can relate to and share some things in common with. Good luck. :)
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