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 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 83
Question: Why do older women want younger men?Page 4 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Skip...do you really find older women mother you??? Often??

I know I have done raised my kids....I don't want to mother OR smother! LOL Funny, cause a very wise friend and fellow fishie just mentioned the whole "mothering" thing two days ago....and I personally have never felt I "mother" my men! I am smart...I am opinionated...I am outgoing...I am caring and I am a caretaking sort...I am independent and the take charge type....but I certainly can't see how these traits would come off as motherly. LOL

Would be interested in hearing more on this!
 pizza_chef1
Joined: 11/15/2007
Msg: 84
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 9:11:50 AM
Kat the ladies in question that mothered were 15-20 years older than I was, one was when I was 18 (in college), another 26 (after divorce), and last one was when I was 31. Other than their wanting to mother me, I also found we had too many differences in taste, such as music styles and desires. They had all been previously married and had differing experiences with their past husbands. What their first husbands liked in foods and bed, if they had been faithful or not. Two of them had unfaithful husbands and the other was a widow. The first was my young and dumb days, while the other two I seriously tried to make a relationship. But regardless in the end I found that I could not make it happen....

Since then I have stuck with gals who have either been younger or closer to me in age, though I will say, younger women are out as well! Think I will stick to ladies closer to my age, even though I have not had much luck with them in the past. Well I mean the ones same age as me, three or four years either way has seemed to work....
 beachbex
Joined: 5/7/2008
Msg: 85
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Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 12:19:47 PM
I have noticed on alot of profiles I read of women my age that their age range is skewed towards younger men. The last one was 49 and her age range was 38-53. So she would go 11 years younger and only 4 years older than herself. I see that more and more. Is it that when a woman gets out of a long marriage which may have gone stale that they want more adventure in their lives and think a younger man can give them that?


back to the ORIGINAL question... it is ladies in the late 40's wanting to date 11 yrs younger was the original OP's question. (not 29 year old women trying to date 18 year olds)

I am 48 for three more days... I have 42-54 on my age range. Why more younger? It is not for adventure. It is for what the man is capable of DOING and what their expectations of their new 'mate' is.

1) Someone mentioned looks. That is important. OP- How many men's profiles have you as a man looked at to see the vast differences of how a 49 year old LOOKS? Are some lying about their age? Did they ever make an effort towards skin care? (not to bash the guys.... but you can look at all the 49 year old gals and the same thing goes on. some look younger, some you would swear are 55 or 60) There are some 42 year olds that 'look' older than me! I am not talking about grey hair- that to me is sexy!

2) some gals might date just for the 'pleasure' they think a younger guy can bring to the table. medically speaking, older men sometimes DO have problems associated to medicines they are taking for HBP, diabeties, etc. (this can start as early as mid 30's too!) Some girls were married to men with those problems, and dont want to deal with the same issues. By dating younger men, they think the problem is eliminated. But it is not, not really.

3) some gals never played the field... got married young and only knew one man. now they are single and want to experiment with different age ranges.....explore .... find out things, what DOES make a 43 year old different from a 50 year old? (same can be stated about the men too.... )

4) as mentioned already, some guys my own age are just fuddy duddies! I was told by a guy that was 52 that I was too spunky for him. He HAD to be really 62 to say that!

Just my two cents (looks like a quarters worth)
 Previously36
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 86
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 12:24:32 PM
The younger guys are also asking us out quite often. I had to block my profile to stop a bit of pestering. Maybe they think us older women are going to teach them something!
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 87
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Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 5:15:29 PM
My bother that is a Army Special Forces Sergeant Major married a older woman he meet in Korea, They can not have kids but they are happy.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 88
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 6:28:15 PM
I get the young uns hitting on me, as well....kinda flattering, but the flatter aspect does NOT supercede the ick factor, for me. LOL

Totally agree with Becca's post. I know I look younger than my age...I know I am active and wild and fun for my age! LOL I need a man who can keep up with me! And I don't WANT him to be younger...but man oh man...some of the emails I get come from men who look like they are old enough to be my father!

I guess in the long run, it is just a matter of preference. I know I see women who look far older than me, hitting on men who look like they could be their son's and I just cringe...but oh well...its not ME dating them! LOL

One of my ex BFs married someone about a year after we split...she was significantly younger than him and he told me, "She makes me feel young!" I found it sad that he needed someone to bring out his youthfulness....and that's kind of how I see the cougars....like they are grasping at those last tidbits of their youth??
 Previously36
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 89
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 6:35:37 PM
Very well stated girl! My X was only 4 years older than me but he made it feel like he was a whole generataion ahead of me, made me feel like I missed something. Maybe that is why I like to keep the gap close, but I also go with out things work between as far as what we have ahead of us at a equal or balanced pace.
 kclowns
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 90
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 6:42:32 PM
I don't want someone who looks like my dad. And with me being a little older quite a few fall into that category.I like do a lot of different things..not stay home and watch TV night after night. Now don't get me wrong a good movie and someone to cuddle with on the couch is great. But I won't date someone my kids age.
I guess it is just a matter of personal preference.


And it's not about gray hair..some older men with gray hair I find very attractive.
 HarleyKat~
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 91
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/25/2008 7:28:58 PM
<------This kitty looooooovvvvvveeessss salt and pepper hair! ;O) Tis my fave, really....5 out of 6 of my last beaus had it! ;)
 frtnhnfloed
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 92
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 2:54:47 PM
Kat! i have salt and pepper hair on my face, does that count for anything?
 STLTASHA2
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 93
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 3:53:46 PM
Wayyyy too much emphasis on age. That is a flaw in this system as you have to qualify what age group is acceptable to contact you. I think "type" "age" and "ethnicity" should not be terms by which we search for potential dates, mates, or friends. You have to see the person's heart. Think how many good choices have been passed over because of preconceived ideas of HOW someone should look or act because of chronological differences, be they to the plus or minus. I go for ATTITUDE!!
 frtnhnfloed
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 94
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:10:56 PM
stlsasha u might go for attitude, but if the person is not physically physically appealing to your sight, u cant convince me that u will still date them.
 mousermoe
Joined: 11/8/2008
Msg: 95
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:32:03 PM
Without reading all of the posted comments, I think a possibility is that, in my case, I don't feel like I'm my age in numbers. The types I may be attracted to is more reflective of how old I percieve myself to be. Like the saying goes...age is just a number. However, realistically speaking, most people, in general, are drawn to younger.
 Nitatazldy
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 96
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:39:49 PM
I agree with you George. Who wants to be with someone they do not find appealing?

If you put an age, ethnicity or type in your profile, this all goes back to it is merely your PREFERENCE and your right to do so. Everyone has an opinion and is entitled to that opinion. You shouldn't be criticized one way or the other on what you decide you want to date or not date.

I like salt and pepper hair as well on the right person, but on some, it does nothing but make them look older in my opinion.
 STLTASHA2
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 97
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:41:31 PM
Well Tom, sorry, but I have, will and do. I can find something sexy and/or attractive in just about anyone. I usually find men that are in great shape attractive because I know their physical health is probably good. Good self esteem is a huge turn on to me. Of course I love a great looking guy, and yeah, younger is often good as well, but again, it is attitude. The most beautful man OR woman can have an ugly, hateful soul. You have to take time and get to know someone...that is the key, not age.
 STLTASHA2
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 98
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 5:49:14 PM
I am not being critical. You are missing my point. Instead of having a check list of what you want or don't want or won't consider...maybe there are more important criteria. Will this person be with you if you become ill, do they have a positive or negative self-defeating attitude, are they FUN!! ? There is no right or wrong. Physical attraction and chemistry are important, sure. But, that seldom lasts. Everyone has preferences, likes and dislikes. I just think it (age) needs to be a little lower on the priority list.
 Nitatazldy
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 99
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:04:33 PM
As I stated above, everyone is entitled to their opinion as well as preferences. I personally will not be with anyone young or old that I am not physically attracted to first. I am not saying there is not a lot of emphasis on what someone looks like, because there is. How can you not put an emphasis on looks? It is the first thing you notice on anyone be it good looking, not good looking, young or older.

I have met some really nice looking and not so nice looking people that are just horrible to be around. It all boils down to whether or not this is what you want in any person. It's an individual choice. Which everyone has the right to chose what is good and not good for themselves. Thank gawd for that.
 STLTASHA2
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 100
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:14:23 PM
Some of my best relationships were ones that developed over time. Just a friend, but had many common interests and had fun together. It sometimes evolves into more. And there was no physical attraction at first. I hold great store in dependability. THAT is attractive to me. I have drop dead gorgeous male friends, and some not considered attractive at all. These guys are friends, not dates. But sometimes you can develop feelings for someone you were not initially attracted to. I can be attracted to a younger man for his energy. And an older man for his wisdom. I agree with you, everyone has the right to chose.
 Previously36
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 101
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:49:35 PM
I think it is more common for a man to date someone much younger that himself. Now that more women are dating younger men new labels are appearing.
 STLTASHA2
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 102
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 6:55:06 PM
Lol, Sheila...and the older guys don't like it when "we" can date younger. How do you feel about the label "cougar"?
 24ksunrise
Joined: 1/22/2008
Msg: 103
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 7:11:15 PM
I'm assuming you haven't read too many male profiles, but most of them in their 40's and 50's are willing to go down to 18-30, but few will go more than just a coule years older then they are. Women are perhaps looking younger just because statistically women live longer than men. My widowed friend is scared to date men much older than she is. No guarentees in life, but can't blame her. My for sure rule is :they have to be older than my kids, but seriously at 52, I prefer at least 45 and for sure under 60. Maybe when I turn 60, the 60 year old man won't sound so old.
 STLTASHA2
Joined: 9/13/2008
Msg: 104
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 11/26/2008 7:33:13 PM
24k, it has been that way as long as I can remember!! The old double standard has been broken. If any 50 y/old I know goes out with an 18 y/o it is not for the great conversation. Older male/ younger female or the other way. I am sure there are many mature and wordly 18 y/olds out there wanting to date someone in their 40's or think 50's NOT!!! Most men don't really know what they want until they are close to 40.
Women, on the other hand, usually know what they want at a younger age...but then we change our minds!! J/K you can go nuts trying to figure it out. It would be nice if there was a magic formula to help, but there isn't. Boys will be boys.
 RATED-RKO
Joined: 11/14/2008
Msg: 105
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:24:58 AM
i usually only date older women because they dont play kindergarden BS but i,m talking to a gal who is 26 on pof and i hope it really works out for me and her she is a real sweet person who i want to have as a friend even if it dont work out so keep ur options open buddy
 GiGi046
Joined: 11/23/2006
Msg: 106
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Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:30:13 AM
Maybe because the ones that are our age seem to just want to sit around on the couch.....life is meant to be lived and I am not a couch potatoe...
 frtnhnfloed
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 107
Question: Why do older women want younger men?
Posted: 12/3/2008 11:50:33 AM
gigi, thats what i always say, in most cases the older a man gets the more comfortable he feels just laying around the house.
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