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 wdriver
Joined: 12/2/2008
Msg: 163
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?Page 4 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
In this modern age of equality if you can make your woman cum orally and there is no attempt to reciprocate are you obligated to continue in the future? If you are a gentleman and make her orgasm first and even second should there be any gold at the end or your rainbow?

I think if you are giving your woman oral because you expect it in return, then you are doing it for the wrong reason. I do it because I like to. I like to make her feel good. If I make her come several times that way, and she does not want to do the same, ok. There are other ways of her making me feel good, too. I'd rather she do something to me because she wants to, not because she thinks she owes me.
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 170
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If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/6/2009 12:09:17 PM
Waah!!!
What a joke!
 jonash2007
Joined: 7/11/2007
Msg: 171
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/6/2009 1:07:34 PM
There is never an "obligation" to do anything...it has to suit both of you. It is not a transaction. It is an agreement between a man and a woman, unless of course it actually IS a transaction...then all bets are off!
 hopeforlove69
Joined: 1/12/2009
Msg: 172
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/26/2009 10:26:12 AM
It's up to your partner, Some women don't like giving oral, some do. IMO, I enjoy giving oral, I love pleaseing my partner. Wheather she does or does not is not the question, It's are you both satisfied, taht counts the most. You don't keep score in the bedroom.

 BeatlesYeahYeahYeah
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 173
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:44:39 AM
This one's a real slam-dunk. If it matters to you that much, then find out in advance of becoming attached to someone if they are into what you really need them to be into. Waiting until your hooks are deep into each other is far too late and kind of stupid, given how much more candid people are about such deeply private matters than they were as recently as 20 years ago.

For example, I am someone who has an oral fixation, so a girl's jollies are pretty much guaranteed. But I've been the gentleman who's suffered the hypocrisy of someone wanting to receive but not wanting to give too many times. Any moron can receive, but it's selfish to insist that someone can give to you, but you shouldn't have to consider providing someone else the same rush they just gave you.

So there's nothing mercenary about insisting it going both ways. Just don't be stupid about it. Just remember that you deserve to get what YOU want as much as the other deserves to get what THEY want. So just go find someone who's on the same page with you, that's all.

The quickest way to NOT have an argument is to find someone who already agrees with you. Look, your love life should be a refuge from the misery of day-to-day living, not just another form of stress to endure. Heck, if you can't even have a decent love life with someone, what's left?

So just be smart about your choices, that's all. There are deal-breakers you don't back down from, right? Well, then figure out what love life deal-breakers you have and stick to them. For example I don't date women who smoke, experiment with drugs, drink heavily, have young children at home or who have cats. Whenever I break one these bylaws in the name of testing my open-mindedness, I'm always really sorry I did.

Get to know who you are and don't violate bylaws that go against your nature or life situation just because an opportunity came up. Granted, a given woman might be the most wonderful person on the planet, but if she's a heavy-drinkin' smoker with cats and small kids who pops an occasional pill, I'll live to regret bonding with her, and that's that. So I just accept that it can't work with me and someone else under certain circumstances.

There are certain areas of life where you not only shouldn't have to compromise, but that it would be unhealthy if you did. Learn the difference and you'll be okay.

As for me, because I have an oral fixation and am happy to make a girl happy, I consider it most appropriate for me to expect to receive as good as I give. And it DOES matter to me that much. SO -- what do I do? I simply try to avoid a lot of problems with trying to convert someone to my way of thinking by locating someone who doesn't need converting: I try to find a girl who, besides possessing other good qualities, ALSO has an oral fixation. Ta-Da! Problem solved.

(I can't believe this stuff actually requires an explanation...)
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 174
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:49:28 AM

QUID PRO QOU? If this than that? Is sex and exchange? If I come I have to make you come...Come on now...There is nothing genltmanly her quit lying to yourself and others...


OK, then how about this? I'll just let women perform oral sex on me and expect them to satisfy me while refusing to perform oral sex on them. Is that better now that we've eliminated any quid pro quo?
 BeatlesYeahYeahYeah
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 175
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/26/2009 11:58:06 AM

" If you can accept that not everyone likes to do and play the same way then enjoy."
--QeteshK


QeteshK's point is a valid one, and one you should consider before letting yourself becoming committed to a long-term relationship with anyone. And by the way, you're not obligated to yoke yourself to someone who doesn't do and play as you do. It's hard to find like-mindedness, but it's worth not settling for whatever comes along, either.

This one's a real slam-dunk. If what you really enjoy in your love life matters to you that much, then find out in advance of becoming attached to someone if they are into what you really need them to be into. Waiting until your hooks are deep into each other is far too late to discover significant sexual incompatibility; and kind of stupid, given how much more candid people are about such deeply private matters than they were as recently as 20 years ago.

For example, I am someone who has an oral fixation, so a girl's jollies are pretty much guaranteed. But I've been the gentleman who's suffered the hypocrisy of someone wanting to receive but not wanting to give too many times. Any moron can receive, but it's selfish to insist that someone can give to you, but you shouldn't have to consider providing someone else the same rush they just gave you. The other person should WANT to fulfill you and shouldn't have to be reminded -- otherwise, you're with someone who is too self-centered and not considerate enough.

Believe me, there's nothing mercenary about insisting it go both ways. Just don't be stupid about it. Just remember that you deserve to get what YOU want as much as the other deserves to get what HE or SHE wants. Just go find someone who's on the same page with you, that's all. Find someone who WANTS to do what you want them to do, and then you're both happy all the time.

Although vegetarians and carnivores or Jews and Catholics can politely co-exist, for example, you still need to think of the long run, not just the lovey-dovey period. But keep in mind, there are just certain areas of life where people should NOT have to always make sacrifices or take one for the team. And sex is one of them. Sex should be an enriching indulgence for two people, not a series of awkward complications that occasionally yield mutual contentment.

The quickest way to NOT have an argument is to find someone who already agrees with you -- this is the basis of compatibility. Look, your love life should be a refuge from the misery of day-to-day living, not just another form of stress to endure. Heck, if you can't even have a decent love life with someone, what's left? Really.

So just be smart about your choices, that's all. There are deal-breakers you don't back down from, right? Well, then figure out what love life deal-breakers you have and stick to them. For example, I don't date women who smoke, experiment with drugs, drink heavily, have young children at home or who have cats. Whenever I break one of these bylaws in the name of testing my open-mindedness, I'm always really sorry I did.

Get to know who you are and don't violate bylaws that go against your nature or life situation just because an opportunity came up. Granted, a given woman might be the most wonderful person on the planet, but if she's a heavy-drinkin' smoker with cats and small kids who pops an occasional pill, I'll live to regret bonding with her, and that's that. So I just accept that it can't work with me and someone else under certain circumstances.

There are certain areas of life where you not only shouldn't have to compromise, but that it would be unhealthy if you did. Learn the difference and you'll be okay.

As for me, because I have an oral fixation and am happy to make a girl happy, I consider it most appropriate for me to expect to receive as good as I give. And it DOES matter to me that much. SO -- what do I do? I simply try to avoid a lot of problems with trying to convert someone to my way of thinking by locating someone who doesn't need converting: I try to find a girl who, besides possessing other good qualities, ALSO has an oral fixation. Ta-Da! Problem solved.

(I can't believe this stuff actually requires an explanation...)
 Nicepackage9
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 178
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History
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/27/2009 9:38:25 PM
Have you ever heard of 69?
 Bonjour mon amant
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 179
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/27/2009 9:58:55 PM
I never realized that a man going down on me was "doing me a favor!"
 compleat_man
Joined: 10/3/2008
Msg: 183
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/28/2009 7:55:07 AM

You're supposed to look at sex as pleasuring your partner; you don't do something simply so you can have it done back to you. That kind of mentality is childish AND selfish.


so..in the case the OP describes..(or your world) apparently it is only the man who is supposed to think that?

why doesn't she want to go down on him, if "you're supposed to look at sex as pleasuring your partner" ?

hmm, one-way thinking of "it's better to give than receive" will not last forever in most cases
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 190
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If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/28/2009 8:54:31 PM
One would think. I guess you never know unless you ask her. If she has an aversion to it, can always get off in other ways. Not the end of the world. But, if getting off via BJ is what really floats your boat, tell her that.
 MissRavenHoney
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 193
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/29/2009 1:50:33 AM
I'm seriously laughing at you with your 'gentleman' comment - is it taking you HOURS OR DAYS to get her to orgasm orally once or twice? If not, then what's the big deal? Are you circumsized, do you shower before to remove offensive odors? What could be offensive to her about giving you oral sex? Have you asked her?

and if you want to get all technical about EQUALITY,

if you give oral orgasms- you get oral orgasms
if you GIVE penetration orgasms - she gets to PENETRATE YOU

That's EQUAL - yes?

Also, so she only gets ONE orgasm? She's not a multiple orgasm'er? (my new word LOL) - or you are just stopping after giving her ONE? Stay down a while and perhaps she'll return the act!

Possibly a little TMI, but I used oral sex for HIS 4-PLAY, then my ex would get me 'there' numerous times orally and as a multiple-liquid orgasmer (yeah another new word) then we would both FINISH together - because it was a given he was only going to orgasm once, and we WANTED to have that final orgasm together.

Unless you are a problem with premature ejaculation, try getting her to spend 5 or 10 down on you as 4 play, then trade off and finish together.....



 swingpup
Joined: 10/21/2006
Msg: 194
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If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/29/2009 8:34:50 AM
I haven't read each and every postings here however but don't most men perform oral on a woman to provide her pleasure as well as for the simply reason it's enjoyable to them?

We are talking here of course about women that have in fact passed the "sniff test." To expect a particular thing to be performed during sex in return for this that or the other is at best disrespectful. Just as a few males dislike providing oral there are women that are probably on the same page.
 MissRavenHoney
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 196
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:47:15 PM

Whats the difference between a married woman and a single woman?


Married women notice the ceiling needs painting!
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 197
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 1/30/2009 8:16:06 AM
Should she? Well, I'd certainly hope so! Is she obligated to? Not really.

Shame on any person who goes down on their mate with the expectation of reciprocated oral sex.

If I want my****sucked by my girlfriend, I'll ask her to. I'm not going to go down on her and say "Now do me!" afterwards.

I'll go down on my girlfriend because I want her clawing at the ceiling, not because I want her mouth on my****after.
 gspotted666
Joined: 8/1/2009
Msg: 200
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/20/2009 10:31:32 AM
Well - this seems to be quite the topic for me lately - I love giving blow jobs - it turns me on to watch the affect I can have on my partner! However, I have been in a relationship in which - it is always me giving - and never getting! After many months of this - I have decided to not give anything anymore.....the end.

So it doesn't matter whether you are the guy or the girl - Sex should NEVER be one way - that includes oral sex as well as regular sex. Just my opinion!
 smile9999
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 202
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:33:26 PM
I totally agree, every woman that I've dated that didn't return the favor once in awhile turned out to be very self centered, and I dumped them
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 203
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:44:21 PM
wow, Really? I don't know..I guess I don't view sex in those terms..seems long on the selfish and immature and short on the pleasure if you ask me.
I put my partner first..and he put me first..much more fun that way.
 whothehellknows
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 204
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:16:12 AM
If you are pleasing your partner only because you think they will return the favor, then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Give without expectations and for the right reasons.
 Knight_00
Joined: 7/29/2008
Msg: 205
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If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:39:49 AM
Using your logic, if she goes down on you, aren't you OBLIGATED to go down on her? Say she is in menses - should you have to do it because she did it for you?

A lot of people here have posted about pleasing their partner, and that's great to have that notion. Myself, I go down on a partner because I LIKE IT. Sometimes, there's no orgasm involved. It's what I like to do. Say for example, you have intercourse for a while, then just feel like going down on her...

I will only date girls who like doing what we do. The notion of "the gift" is repulsive to me. If she likes giving head, I'll get mine. But that has nothing to do with me going down on her. I just fvkkin like it.

So if your girl isn't satisfying you in the way that you like, don't have expectations that lead to unspoken resentments, do something about it - talk about it or find someone more compatible with your tastes, no pun intended.
 brighteyes_09
Joined: 6/7/2009
Msg: 206
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:15:02 AM
This thread is about a "tit for tat" scenario.

Do it for the enjoyment of satisfying a person whom you care about, not because you expect the person to "pay it back".

Someone who thinks that way has selfish motivations and is not really interested in the feelings of the other person.
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 208
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If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:15:38 PM
Whatever scenario 'on hands' or 'hands on' is never only way street in my books.
Double joy!
 JstAnthrLonelyGirl
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 209
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:23:40 PM
Wow, I give oral because I like to, not for a favor to my man. There are a lot of girls out there that A) don't like giving oral or B) don't like a cumshot in the face / mouth. Just like there are some guys out there that don't enjoy giving oral. Sex isn't about favors. Enjoy it, and stop worrying so much about what is fair.
 eattoplease
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 210
If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 5/29/2010 6:34:43 PM
You must have the brain size of a pea....that would be the choice of the woman...not tit for tat crap...Ive experienced both.....and then woman that have never done oral till I performed on them.....grow up....anything other than her wanting could get you jail....
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 211
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If you make her cum orally shouldn't she return the favor?
Posted: 5/29/2010 9:15:43 PM
I think this is an issue for people who believe that there must be a reciprocal response in exact equality to whatever they did. No. Sexually, it's only acceptable to do what you like to do. I don't give a woman oral sex because I'm expecting her to do something in return; I do it because I like it; I like how it makes me feel, and I like that she enjoys it too. If she should do something that she enjoys that I like as well, so much the better. But sex shouldn't have to be something where people are always keeping score as to who did what to and for who for how long and how many times. That's just plain wrong.
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