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 kellygrl51
Joined: 9/21/2008
Msg: 126
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???Page 6 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
"She already said pages back that they just broke up.It helps to read a thread."

It sure does...she started the thread 10/17 broke up with the guy 10/23 and she's already looking for someone else. Sounds like she needs her bills paid....
 GrandmaBooBoo
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 127
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/25/2008 8:58:04 AM
Yes, if YOU want the cable, then you should pay the bill. At first, I almost agreed with those suggesting that you should pay only 1/4 of the bill...or as one recommended...kicking the guy if he was caught watching it; then I allowed maturity to rule and it occurred to me, that PERHAPS neither of you is really ready for a big grown up relationship.

I have just the slightest inkling that the cable bill is only a cover-up for some more serious issues in the relationship.
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 128
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/25/2008 10:39:47 AM
In the US, you can charge anyone rent to live in your home. Adult children, elderly parents and yes even a live-in GF/BF.
All you need is to set an amount (best to have a rental agreement you can easily download online) and have them issue a check monthly stating it is for rent, you can even get it notorized at your bank for a few dollars. This way they contribute towards expenses and it is very clear that they hold no interest in the ownership of the home. They are your tenant and you are protected financially.
 wannashakeyourtree
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 129
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/25/2008 12:06:23 PM
so why did they break up???

Score another one for love and P.O.F.!!!
 oceanbreeze77
Joined: 4/19/2008
Msg: 130
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/27/2008 3:25:24 PM
I have some cave crickets living in my crawl space. Since the heat of the dryer goes into the crawlspace and they can hear the t.v., should they be splitting the bills with me?

This subject has be beaten to death.


Happy Halloween, Ya'll!!
 MyKidsDadIAm
Joined: 8/10/2005
Msg: 131
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/27/2008 3:43:33 PM

This subject has be beaten to death.
And looks like you gave it one final blow!!!.. :) Happy Halloween to you too... May this thread rest in peace.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 132
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/27/2008 4:14:24 PM

I would treat living with someone as being sort of married and all should be ours not yours and mine....


That's a really good deal for the person who makes less money, trust me on that one. Especially when pensions, RRSPs, equity and such are factored in. Just ask my ex....


Money can cause so much damage to relationships...


Yup... and the damage it causes AFTER the relationship can often be just as bad or worse....

 sammyjcjr
Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 133
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/28/2008 3:46:49 PM
If times are so hard why is he getting a new vehicle that costs more money? But at the same time if you need cable then thats your choice as well... Pay that bill if you want cable. As long as your not paying for his new vehicle
 JMurphyE
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 134
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:19:54 PM
Well I look at things differently than most. There should be a joint fund that covers the house bills. You had cable when you moved in. Just because he increased his bills doesn't mean you should have to go without cable. If you go buy a car, should that mean that he should pay all the rent because you can't afford to help anymore? NO. It works both ways. He should still pay what he was paying. If buying the car puts you in a position where you have to start going without some things then he should have kept his old car. My opinion. I'm a little old fashioned anyway so kill me.
 screenangel
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 135
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:33:37 PM
Goodness! Isn't cohabiting COMPLICATED!?...... .. ..... .... .... ....
 good guy75
Joined: 3/25/2008
Msg: 136
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/4/2008 12:34:37 PM
if your arguing over that small stuff your doomed.it shouldnt be 50/50 pool your money and go from there.
 BigDaddyJinx
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 137
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/4/2008 1:48:32 PM
Jim978 -- I found what I think it was that I had eluded to earlier...that document that can be signed that sees one dismissing all claim to any assets...it's called a Quit Claim Deed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quitclaim_deed

From what I've been told, this can apply to any "real" property that one owns.

Sorry it took me so long to post it back...I thought this thread had died long ago lol.
 EdVonBlue
Joined: 10/7/2008
Msg: 138
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/4/2008 4:57:57 PM
Split everything 50/50...
...and just get rid of cable, your life will be better without it. Plus when the switch to digital comes in February there are going to be literally dozens of free channels, including weather, sports, even movie channels...
 ab_qt
Joined: 5/7/2006
Msg: 139
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/4/2008 6:30:04 PM
With the amount of shit that's on tv these days, I can't see why anyone would want to watch it but if you want it by all means you should be paying for it.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 140
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 1:25:28 AM
It is good that you broke up. You are young, educated, attractive and didn't need all this guy's baggage.

There are plenty of guys out there with too many kids trying to find some sucker to do all the grunt work so he doesn't have to.

As for cohabitation, if I were to ever do it, which I won't, expenses would have to be weighted averages cause there aren't too many average guys who make more than I do. I don't plan on living in a hut and driving a rusted out chevette so I can do halfsies with some guy's 40k a year income.
 Sefra
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 141
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:29:20 AM
ARRRRggg! It never ceases to amaze me just how quickly people are motivated to cohabitate!!! Ok..I'm better... Now..to your question:

How did you come to moving in together? And, whose place are you living in?
If he got onto one knee and asked if you would improve his life by moving in with him...then I would say he needs to foot the bills...

If, on the other hand, you chased him and pressured him until he agreed to put up with you on a regular basis...then yeah..you pay the cable bill.


 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 142
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 6:29:54 AM
He knew you were a student without a lot of money when he had you move in. He has two children in the home and I am sure you help take care of them. I am also sure that your bf and his children watch tv. Yes you should pay the cable bill, but only the cable bill.

You are going to school and in the long run that will help all of you.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 143
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:05:29 AM
^^^ She know of the situation before she move in also. I am sure the house bills increase when she move in. There is no reason for him to pay all of this cost. It would be more fair of her to pay as much money as possible (up to 50% of bills) instead of only half of her income.


If he got onto one knee and asked if you would improve his life by moving in with him...then I would say he needs to foot the bills...


I do not agree. This treat her like a guest who was invited. They are a couple in a loveing relationship. She should consider her partner feeling.

(they already break up so this is hypothetical though)

 MissEmpress
Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 144
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/5/2008 8:38:59 AM

I just can't understand why all the bills and each others income wasn't discussed before living together....but deal is done.


I don't get it either....
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 145
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Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/8/2008 7:23:27 PM

^^^ She know of the situation before she move in also. I am sure the house bills increase when she move in. There is no reason for him to pay all of this cost. It would be more fair of her to pay as much money as possible (up to 50% of bills) instead of only half of her income.


She did state in her opening post that she paid what she could. Not to mention he is the one with children and the one that is buying expensive cars. As to the bills going up because she moved in. I could see a slight increase in an electric, gas(heat, cooking, hot water), water, and food. I just can't see where it would be more than say $200 more a month because of her being there.


I do not agree. This treat her like a guest who was invited. They are a couple in a loveing relationship. She should consider her partner feeling.

That's a bad joke. It would seem to me in a loving relationship or marriage that both would just put would ever money they made into a "pot" so to speak and pay whatever bills they had and not worry so much about who made what. I wouldn't even consider moving in with or marrying a person that worried about splitting bills and whatever down the middle. That sounds more like a room mate situation.
 acitalriwt sixela
Joined: 5/5/2008
Msg: 146
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:58:36 AM
She did state in her opening post that she paid what she could.


Later she state she only pay 50% of her income to bills and pay half of food. So she can pay more, but rather keep money for herself.


Not to mention he is the one with children and the one that is buying expensive cars.


By move in, the children are her responsibility (finacial or other). Unless she is only roommate or a guest. If she can not be responsible for children, or pets, she should not move in. This is reason to wait very long time before move in with children. The car is seperate issue. He was wrong for not consider her, if they are share the bills.


As to the bills going up because she moved in. I could see a slight increase in an electric, gas(heat, cooking, hot water), water, and food. I just can't see where it would be more than say $200 more a month because of her being there.


If they wish to measure useage, this is for them to decide. But only because rent/mortage do not increase, do not mean she should not help with this. I would wish to limit the stress of bills from the person I care of. When we live together we are team who work together.


That's a bad joke. It would seem to me in a loving relationship or marriage that both would just put would ever money they made into a "pot" so to speak and pay whatever bills they had and not worry so much about who made what.


My "bad joke" is in reply to you say the person who invite should be more responcible for bills. She is not invited guest, they are takeing new step in the relationship.

To place all money into pot is better idea in this example. I can understand split bills equaly is not possible in all time. But both who love each other should try as much as possible. I only do not believe giveing only 50% of income is try as much as possible.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 147
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:55:39 PM
Hey Jess, sorry to hear you split up. It's good to get others perspective, in the end it's what you believe that counts. I think all the different points of view expressed show that many diferent people have diferent beliefs. When it comes to money, I think it's really important to be with someone who has very similar beliefs, otherwise your relationship will be a bumpy one. I read somewhere once that finacial disagreements where the number one cause for divorce. Food or thought.

Ps: I keep finances seperate in all my relationships as much as posible. Split utilities only. Most women readily agree when they realise my grocery bill. I have also lived with EXs as roomates very succesfully, I believe keeping finances seperate contributes largely to this.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 148
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:57:44 PM
He'll regret that if you ever split up.... but I don't blame you at all for liking that deal.
 switers
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 149
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:10:35 AM
"I wouldn't even consider moving in with or marrying a person that worried about splitting bills and whatever down the middle. That sounds more like a room mate situation."

Fair enough, if that's how you feel, just make sure he feels the same way and who knows, should work. Keeping finances seperate does work for many people though. My perants have been married for over 40 years and have always kept everything seperate. "Vive la diferance" as they say... Question though, how many couples do you know where the woman makes significantly more and would agree to paying the majority of the expences for both? I don't personaly know any.....
 mcwr
Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 150
Who Pays What When Your Cohabiting???
Posted: 8/7/2009 6:10:39 AM
You certainly should contribute. I would not date someone that wants to use me for a place to live, or expects me to pay when we go out to eat.
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