Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
Joined: 10/14/2008
Msg: 2
Is it worth it?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)

Some people swear that you have to work on a relationship endlessly as if there is some pot of gold at the end of it, sadly this is not so, if you arent having a good time why are you in it?

Relationships take time and effort to be successful, and you can have fun while putting in the make it become a success!
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 7
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/23/2008 7:55:42 AM
In a sense, I agree with the OP - dating/relationships are social and not a requirement to live. If your basic needs are met, then it might be cool to also get involved, but it's not a necessity like basic needs are. It's a luxury. Exactly.

I am a loner myself so I get the concept. Being by yourself means you don't have to report to someone, check in with someone, consider someone else in your travels or plans and your life is basically way less complicated or drama filled. My ideal relationship is to have someone around only when I am in the mood. I've turned down plans to sit in my house and enjoy the solitude, and VERY FEW people get that about me, so dealing with me is not an easy task. However...

I agree with those also who say that the RIGHT relationship is ok because it doesn't change your life or make it worse (if you are content being single and like your freedom); a relationship that fits you won't restrict you or make you feel you're giving yourself up.

There are people who can't be alone, and because of that they will date, move in with and marry people that aren't exactly right for them just to get off the market quicker. They then will try to fix what they bought...and that's nuts. If it don't come easy, and naturally and as if it were meant to be a part of your life, then hell yeah, single is better. WAY better.

I love being single and will only consider someone else (that I see and approach at my leisure) IF they either mesh with my life as it is, or improve it in some way.
Joined: 3/21/2008
Msg: 8
view profile
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/23/2008 7:58:52 AM
When you meet the person that fires on all cylinders for you, yes, its totally worth it.
And relationships require compromise, and paying attention to your partners needs/desires - it's not work when it is the right relationship.

If you choose to stay in a "I don't need/want a partner in my life" mindset- you have that freedom of choice. But many/most folks want the companionship/sexual and emotional intimacy that comes from a relationship that spans the years.

Dude, you are young, and experiencing life in an uncertain time... I'd say you just aren't there yet. I know I didn't need or want a relationship at 20.

You, personally, may be "wise beyond your years" - but those of us who have lived longer, experienced more, been in healthy relationships do know a FEW things. And most 20yos, including myself, grow up and realize we didn't know SH!T.
Joined: 10/16/2008
Msg: 9
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/23/2008 8:12:12 AM
i think it's a myopic point of view to boil something as complex as a relationship between two people down into such a small set of categories.

of course it's worth it! a good relationship has more gifts than can be mentioned, or conveyed by my feeble brain... it's in our wiring.. how else would we perpetuate this human comedy?
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 12
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/23/2008 5:56:55 PM

ok , why do people feel the need to be with another person..

Why do you care?

Is it worth it?

Why do you ask? Sounds like you've made up your mind. Also sounds like sour grapes. Having a bit of a dating dry spell, are we,OP? Need to establish a plausible defense? Why? If being single is best, why are you worried about whether or not relationships are "worth it"? Isn't there some better way for you to spend your time, rather than attacking something you evidently aren't doing real well at?
Cindy O
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 13
view profile
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/25/2008 1:49:26 PM
Oh yes, a relationship in good working order on the outside ( neighbourhoodwatch) just as well on the inside ( behind the closed door ) is worth every penny and some might call it a perfect package *all in one*
This two way street of seemingly p e r f e c t package works only if both parties are prepared to bend their usual stereotyped pace of life in order to "us" function as smoothly as possible. Nothing comes for free without nurturing, compromising and most of all seeking to make another person happy.
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 14
view profile
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/25/2008 4:16:11 PM
This thread is so redundant. Why wasn't it deleted?
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 15
Is it worth it?
Posted: 10/25/2008 4:36:51 PM
Look OP,

I've read most all of what you've written here, and I'm not really sure why you wrote any of it.

Honestly I wonder if you know WHY you wrote it.

Do you have some point you're attempting to make?

Because you are posturing.
You're preaching to many people in a large dating site about being insecure and needy and attempting to fill all their cracks in them with someone else.

You think people need other people in order to feel human?
You think that if someone doesn't have a partner they cannot function or be complete?

Were you raised by dingos?

Initially when I read your first post - I wondered what illiterate school had educated you, grammatically and content? It's weak.

Yet you appearred to feel empowered to tell "us" how weak we all were for wanting meaningful, loving relationships.

But now you appear to be slamming people for that desire, while placing yourself in a judgemental and superior role.

Interesting that someone so young would be so arrogant.
And so...grossly inaccurate.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >