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 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 13
once trust is lost can it be won back?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
First off, yes you are a snoop. That is one level of trust that I would not give you. But doing that is much different than the type of trust that defines relationships. It's like saying since you ran a yellow light, you are a criminal no different than someone that robbed a bank. (even though both can be very dangerous LOL).

To me trust issues that define relationships have to do with keeping your word and cheating. That means if you say you're going to do something, you do it, no excuses. And there's enough trust that if you called me to say you are going for drinks after work with some coworkers, and some of them are male, I don't have to even think about it, since I trust you.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 15
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 10/28/2008 9:40:30 AM
Trust is the foundation of the relationship - well, that, and respect. Once it's gone, the relationship has nothing to hold it together.
 jackster121
Joined: 9/2/2008
Msg: 16
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 10/28/2008 9:44:34 AM
I left my email logged in and my second wife (now ex, sort of) saw it and though, repeat thought I was planning, repeat, planning to cheat.
I did not blame her, I kicked myself in the a$$ for being so stupid. To quote Shakespeare, "I think thou dost protest too much".
It's your computer, he left it thee, he has no right to privacy.
The bad news is tere is probably more to the story than you saw. Run, Girl, run.
 screenangel
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 23
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 10/28/2008 5:07:40 PM
The fault is not yours, girlfriend. The guy wanted an "out", so he leaves incriminating evidence behind for you to easily find, then blames YOU for finding it! Say "good riddance"! If only they were all as easy to get rid of!.......lol. Consider yourself fortunate.
 GoneSailinBabe
Joined: 7/6/2008
Msg: 27
once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 10/30/2008 8:01:49 AM
hmmmmm... I'm torn.
I hate when the female side comes out don't you?

I mean it IS your computer.
So how do you NOT look?

But still - it IS his email so why would you?

I'm an open book.
So I really wouldn't care if an SO wanted access to my accounts I have noting to hide.

I think people who have nothing to hide, hide nothing.
Those who do hide stuff?
Well....enough said - they have a reason for hiding.

Can trust be won back?
Perhaps.
 TxSippiGal
Joined: 9/30/2007
Msg: 31
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 11/3/2008 4:49:32 PM
Well I wish you both good luck but I hope that you both will look at the crux of the issue and not just the surface..

I think more things are going on.. this is an indication of other unresolved issues.
 Honest343
Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 34
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 11/3/2008 7:27:40 PM
I think your boyfriend trusted you too much by using your computer, I think he is a loyal and honest guy, the trust issue lies with you. Why did you read his email???? Should he read yours???? I think you should reconsider at who at fault. Remember if you don't have trust in your relationship, you don't have a relationship... Good luck and trust him. By the way he didn't pay me to write this.....
 ErehwonEnoon
Joined: 2/13/2008
Msg: 51
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 11/11/2008 8:13:01 AM
I am reminded of walking on snow that has a hard crust. So long as you tread with due care, you don't break through. Once you do break through, you tend to flounder around a lot and it is really difficult to get above the surface again. The same goes with trust. I disagree with all who say that trust can be earned. Perhaps distrust can be set aside, but as soon as a person stumbles it snaps back.

I think the only time that I would object to a person from reading my email would be if I was planning a surprise party for that person...
 ceaser_73
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 57
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once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 11/13/2008 6:56:25 PM
Ok, most people that tend to get pissed about privacy getting violated are the people that tend to be guilty of something. And if it is your computer, your place, he should have more respect and not be pissed at you but himself. I was in a relationship with someone and I found some IM boxes left open on the computer and I read them all, and busted her ass cheating. Yeah I heard the same speech. " How can I trust you" was the words she said to me. (LOL) I repeated them back to her, got my stuff and left. If someone is with you they shouldn't have anything to hide. I wonder what are the certain things that you saw or read.
If we as people have suspect that something isn't right we tend to do one of two things, ignore it or investigate it. If he keeps raising a big stink about it, that would demonstrate defensive behavior wouldn't it? I know it was for me. I have forgiven in my past relationships but you never forget, and I have told all of them "to build trust takes time" and everyone of them have violated again. They always just want it to be over with and expect it back right away, and don't have the patience to earn it back. Once a cheat always a cheat in many ways.
 busty56
Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 75
once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 4/6/2009 12:46:33 PM
MOST GUYS that have something to hide get very mad and defensive ,,,so if they dont want to get caught then dont do it or hide stuff be honest ,,,,,,,,
 LuvU4Now
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 77
once trust is lost can it be won back?
Posted: 4/6/2009 1:13:12 PM
I would not have looked. On the other hand I don;t know what you saw. BTW how did he know? Were you opening unread emails? For some reason that seems worse than reading previously read emails. You could argue that just because I leave an open letter around the house does not grant anyone the right to read it.
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